You are looking so thin......
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I spent a lot of time crying about my body when I was a stick-thin teenager who didn't have boobs and couldn't put on any weight. Thanks for validating that I was as ugly as I felt, and nobody would ever be attracted to me. Appreciated. /sarcasm
I am totally in support of curvy women (I've been one of them myself, off and on, for years) but you don't need to hate on another body type in order to love your own. Some "real women" have curves. Some "real women" don't. Some "real women" are very overweight. All of them are women, and all of them deserve respect, okay?0 -
I think to improve yourself sure but to be so careful to not go to far. In saying that I have some thin even one friend who is as you put it as thin as a clothes hanger but they are very beautiful people so maybe sometimes when we write tact could be the improvement we are looking to change .Cheers to all of us to our improvement of ourselves as we all need sometimes.0
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So, let me get this right ... OP, someone tries to compliment you on how you're looking and you throw it back in their face because of their word choice? I would, personally, avoid giving this kind of person a compliment again.
I get that you don't aspire to be "thin" (by your definition of it). But, just like beautiful, healthy, and fit are appearances open to the beholders interpretation, "thin" may mean something different to the person you just insulted.
Go for the body that works best for you. Don't shame other people's body choices.
And above all, learn how to take a compliment in the spirit it was given. Just say "thank you" and move on. You'll have a lot more friends then.0 -
Holy body shaming.....I wonder how well it would go over if someone posted up a thread saying fat women aren't beautiful...probably like a fart in church :laugh:
Not cool.0 -
So- my friend is a male belly dancer- he does mostly Turkish and he is quiet possibly the most fabulous thing EVER. And he posts stuff like this occasionally and it's genius- so I'm typing the original- and then I'll give you a re-edited version- because it's true in ALL walks of life.In the process of defending your right to not have your dance over-sexualized because that is what YOU want, don't fall into the trap of de-legitimatizing someone else's dance because because that's what THEY want.
Contrary to popular belief that's not going to help you- or them.
In your quest to defend and define yourself- be careful you aren't devaluing someone else's opinion or body.
Just because you don't want to be thin- doesn't mean someone else isn't or cant' be. It makes them no less valid or valued - not even considering beauty because that's obviously subjective.
Contrary to popular belief that's not going to help you- or them.0 -
I think there's this delicate line between self - acceptance and the need to validate it through cutting others down. You could state you love your body the way it is. That's great, I'm super happy for that. But then, I have people who post **** like this on FB
^this is not cool. My friend posted this a few months ago and I wanted to scream into my phone. Body shaming, irregardless of fat, skinny, tall, short, pear, square, fit, muscley is NOT okay. To make someone feel inferior for their outer appearance is pretty awful.0 -
To me "Thin" is not beautiful.
....
fit is beautiful, thin is not!"
This is why I love the internet.
If we were having this discussion in person she'd again say, "No I didn't say that. You're misunderstanding me."
She did say that, and I can only assume she meant it since she took the time to type it out. It's right there in black and white. You can stand by what you wrote, you can admit you were wrong and take it back, but you can not tell everyone else they're misinterpreting your own words when they're right there clear as day.
THIS ^
I'm getting so annoyed by people shaming one body type for the other... This trend needs to stop.
I totally agree. That trend is driving me crazy. It's supposed to be empowering but it all has to do with pitting one body against each other on which is more attractive. Body acceptance is great but it's not true body acceptance if your putting down other people's bodies.0 -
To me "Thin" is not beautiful.
....
fit is beautiful, thin is not!"
This is why I love the internet.
If we were having this discussion in person she'd again say, "No I didn't say that. You're misunderstanding me."
She did say that, and I can only assume she meant it since she took the time to type it out. It's right there in black and white. You can stand by what you wrote, you can admit you were wrong and take it back, but you can not tell everyone else they're misinterpreting your own words when they're right there clear as day.
She did say 'To me'. She didn't say this is how everyone should view the world, but that this is her perception.
She's not obligated to think other people are beautiful. It would behoove her to keep her opinion to herself, sure, but she doesn't have to think something is lovely just because other people are that way.
Personally I don't care for being called thin either and I'd probably frown or sigh at anyone who used the word. The feelings of women other than myself over their bodies and how much they like being thin or are naturally thin has nothing to do with how I feel about the word and my body, nor do I have to be demur and pretend that I'm flattered by certain words because otherwise I'm making people feel bad.0 -
Here is the wonderful thing about forums. People like me, who are not writers, but want to share....... can do so........also that sharing is a personal opinion, and everyone has the right to interpret the words you display, the way they see fit.
Opinions are like A- holes........everyone has one. Any of my friends who know me............ know I am an absolutely positive, loving person. who want to lift as many people, and push people to be a better them.
As far as an excuse to be fat.........HARDLY.
In the sea of negativity.... there will be one or two who see the light house in the distance, and will start swimming towards it. I hope you are one of them, and if not and I have offended you. I am sorry you did not see the post for what it was.
My parent did not do me a disservice, but teaching me to love me, and to love all others for who they are. Shame on you for saying that. My parents were light years ahead in teaching me that no matter who you are.........love you for you.
Maybe re-read my words with a positive view. A "glass dang near full" point of view, and you will see what I was trying to convey.
If not, and you chose to view it in a negative light.........you are welcome to do so, but (again this is MY opinion) how sad for you that you can not see the "light house" it was intended to be.0 -
My lighthouse brings all the boys to the yard...0
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CANT YOU GUYS JUST READ SOMETHING WITHOUT COMMENTING LIKE LITTLE MFP SNOBS??! JESUS CHRIST.
I understand that OP was trying to relay a positive message. Good for her. But we can be positive without accidentally being insulting. I don't see anything wrong with pointing this out to her. Maybe she'll learn from it.
I know that in the past I've had "that girl should eat a sandwich" thoughts. I may have even voiced this out load. I didn't realize that I was being insulting and that "skinny shaming" is just as bad as "fat shaming".
I also made a post on this website telling women not to shop in the juniors section. I thought I was being funny and/or helping out women who are frustrated with the style of clothing they are finding. It was pointed out to me that I was being insulting and that a lot of women prefer those styles and even fit better in those clothes. I apologized, admitted I was wrong, etc.
Learning from one's mistake is essential to leading a successful life.0 -
CANT YOU GUYS JUST READ SOMETHING WITHOUT COMMENTING LIKE LITTLE MFP SNOBS??! JESUS CHRIST.
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To me "Thin" is not beautiful.
....
fit is beautiful, thin is not!"
Someone just dropped it like it's hot!0 -
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Here is the wonderful thing about forums. People like me, who are not writers, but want to share....... can do so........also that sharing is a personal opinion, and everyone has the right to interpret the words you display, the way they see fit.
Opinions are like A- holes........everyone has one. Any of my friends who know me............ know I am an absolutely positive, loving person. who want to lift as many people, and push people to be a better them.
As far as an excuse to be fat.........HARDLY.
In the sea of negativity.... there will be one or two who see the light house in the distance, and will start swimming towards it. I hope you are one of them, and if not and I have offended you. I am sorry you did not see the post for what it was.
My parent did not do me a disservice, but teaching me to love me, and to love all others for who they are. Shame on you for saying that. My parents were light years ahead in teaching me that no matter who you are.........love you for you.
Maybe re-read my words with a positive view. A "glass dang near full" point of view, and you will see what I was trying to convey.
If not, and you chose to view it in a negative light.........you are welcome to do so, but (again this is MY opinion) how sad for you that you can not see the "light house" it was intended to be.
I get that you were trying to be positive, but you were bashing on the way that other women look. There are lots of women who are naturally stick figures and you just said "thin is not beautiful" multiple times. You can lift others up without putting people down.0 -
I think "beauty" is very subjective. What I find beautiful and what you find beautiful are most likely two very different ideals. I do think girls (and boys for that matter) should be brought up to be more accepting of them selves.
Growing up I had a friend who would constantly complain how fat she was. This girl was probably as tall as I was and at least 20lb lighter. I was not an overweight child. A nine year old should not be worrying about being "fat". Children should play while their parents make sure they get proper nutrition and exercise.0 -
CANT YOU GUYS JUST READ SOMETHING WITHOUT COMMENTING LIKE LITTLE MFP SNOBS??! JESUS CHRIST.
So it's okay to comment but only if you agree with the OP?
You may want to investigate further how an OPEN forum works.
Also, LOUD NOISES
No, No! I welcome all views. That is part of the forum process............. I NEVER expected for most to agree with me, but I felt compelled to share. Just like a written pieces.............. Each person will view it, from their own prospective............ I do find it unfortunate that so many people are negative.
Trust me from my ex- in process..... I learned one thing in life......... I can say, "Good morning the sky is a beautiful shade of blue today"............. and someone else will hear,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"There is a purple spotted cow on the front lawn, and you are the reason it is there."
So I harbor no ill will for those who did not like, how I worded something. I am not everyone's cup of tea, nor would I want to be.
Watching how people respond...........is part of the forum process.............. opening the floor to discussion, and I personally am gaining knowledge by watching people pick me apart.
I have enough about me, to know I am not a writer, and I am not the only right answer.0 -
No, No! I welcome all views. That is part of the forum process............. I NEVER expected for most to agree with me, but I felt compelled to share. Just like a written pieces.............. Each person will view it, from their own prospective............ I do find it unfortunate that so many people are negative.
Now everyone knows I'm a break your glass and yell at the shards kind of guy.
However, let's be real here, you started your thread with a body shaming attack. It wasn't even super effective, it just kinda dribbled out there, and now people are rightly correcting you for it.
Just don't neg a group to make yourself feel better and everything is cool. Unless it's hipsters. I hear hipsters have no feelings and are made from rubber. Negbombs away!0 -
NO.0
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CANT YOU GUYS JUST READ SOMETHING WITHOUT COMMENTING LIKE LITTLE MFP SNOBS??! JESUS CHRIST.
I understand that OP was trying to relay a positive message. Good for her. But we can be positive without accidentally being insulting. I don't see anything wrong with pointing this out to her. Maybe she'll learn from it.
I know that in the past I've had "that girl should eat a sandwich" thoughts. I may have even voiced this out load. I didn't realize that I was being insulting and that "skinny shaming" is just as bad as "fat shaming".
I also made a post on this website telling women not to shop in the juniors section. I thought I was being funny and/or helping out women who are frustrated with the style of clothing they are finding. It was pointed out to me that I was being insulting and that a lot of women prefer those styles and even fit better in those clothes. I apologized, admitted I was wrong, etc.
Learning from one's mistake is essential to leading a successful life.
But at what point does the line between 'hey that's not okay to say' become 'hey, you aren't allowed to speak your opinion'?
If I write a thread about how I'm unhappy as I lose weight because I look thin and to me looking thing is the equivalent of looking weak.and thus is undesirable where is the line between 'Hey, some women are naturally thin and that's not okay' and 'But that's now the body I want or think is attractive?' Is not going 'In my opinion' and 'for me' an admittance that it's a personal ideal and not meant to be a reflection of how everyone feels?
Is body shaming not putting down a form or body universally, calling it ugly or what have you, NOT saying it's a form that's unwelcome for you? And if the latter isn't okay then what exactly is okay?0 -
This is how I see thin...........
This is how I see fit..........
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my question about threads like this is why do people care what OPs opinions are?
who cares if you're thin and she doesnt think you're attractive? if you think you are attractive then rock that.0 -
Here is the wonderful thing about forums. People like me, who are not writers, but want to share....... can do so........also that sharing is a personal opinion, and everyone has the right to interpret the words you display, the way they see fit.
Opinions are like A- holes........everyone has one. Any of my friends who know me............ know I am an absolutely positive, loving person. who want to lift as many people, and push people to be a better them.
As far as an excuse to be fat.........HARDLY.
In the sea of negativity.... there will be one or two who see the light house in the distance, and will start swimming towards it. I hope you are one of them, and if not and I have offended you. I am sorry you did not see the post for what it was.
My parent did not do me a disservice, but teaching me to love me, and to love all others for who they are. Shame on you for saying that. My parents were light years ahead in teaching me that no matter who you are.........love you for you.
Maybe re-read my words with a positive view. A "glass dang near full" point of view, and you will see what I was trying to convey.
If not, and you chose to view it in a negative light.........you are welcome to do so, but (again this is MY opinion) how sad for you that you can not see the "light house" it was intended to be.
Communicating would be so easy if we could determine how our words are interpreted but we cannot. Instead, we must try our best to understand our audience and communicate in such a way that our words are interpreted the way we intended.
The MFP forums audience generally does not favor such things as putting down a particular body type. Though you stated you didn't mean to put thin people down, you repeatedly said that they were not beautiful and you did not want to be considered one of them.
Instead of taking responsibility for your words and either reinforcing your views or clarifying what your intention was, you got upset with your audience and blamed them for misunderstanding. This is an emotional reaction that kills of intelligent discussion.0 -
Here is the wonderful thing about forums. People like me, who are not writers, but want to share....... can do so........also that sharing is a personal opinion, and everyone has the right to interpret the words you display, the way they see fit.
Opinions are like A- holes........everyone has one. Any of my friends who know me............ know I am an absolutely positive, loving person. who want to lift as many people, and push people to be a better them.
As far as an excuse to be fat.........HARDLY.
In the sea of negativity.... there will be one or two who see the light house in the distance, and will start swimming towards it. I hope you are one of them, and if not and I have offended you. I am sorry you did not see the post for what it was.
My parent did not do me a disservice, but teaching me to love me, and to love all others for who they are. Shame on you for saying that. My parents were light years ahead in teaching me that no matter who you are.........love you for you.
Maybe re-read my words with a positive view. A "glass dang near full" point of view, and you will see what I was trying to convey.
If not, and you chose to view it in a negative light.........you are welcome to do so, but (again this is MY opinion) how sad for you that you can not see the "light house" it was intended to be.
Sorry, I just can't read this with a "glass half full" perspective when you said such negative things about skinny people - especially after spending so much time hating my own body for being so skinny in the past. How sad for me? No - how sad for you that this is the only way you know to feel good about your own body - by putting other bodies down.0 -
...and neither of these women deserve your judgment.This is how I see thin...........
This is how I see fit..........0 -
This is her opinion and non you people have to agree with it. I don't think she bashing anyone, you all act like she put someone's picture up here and said they are ugly they are thin. She doesn't think thin woman look beautiful and who cares. A person must feel they look beautiful so someone else's opinion should not matter. I think that what she wrote was her inspiring woman with curves not bashing thin women. Who is to say what is thin and what is not and I agree a stick figure is not attractive to me either but It may be the most beautiful stick figure to someone else tho. Everyone is not going to like the same things in life which is great because that way there is someone for everyone out here.0
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Or we could all just stop talking about other's bodies.0
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I am not in anyway saying, a thinner female body is, in anyway less beautiful.
Actually, that's exactly what you said.
Actually what I said is a stick figure is not beautiful.
Body shaming is still body shaming. So if someone is a "stick figure" by genetics or by how you are trying to define stick figure, they are ugly? You can have your preferences but don't try speaking for everyone and realize that you saying what you did, how you did is just the same as those that demean/body shame overweight/obese people.0 -
To me "Thin" is not beautiful.
....
fit is beautiful, thin is not!"
This is why I love the internet.
If we were having this discussion in person she'd again say, "No I didn't say that. You're misunderstanding me."
She did say that, and I can only assume she meant it since she took the time to type it out. It's right there in black and white. You can stand by what you wrote, you can admit you were wrong and take it back, but you can not tell everyone else they're misinterpreting your own words when they're right there clear as day.
+1
+20 -
surprised OP didnt post nicki minaj's "anaconda"0
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