You are looking so thin......

WildcatDeLalune

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BinaryPulsar

When people compliment me, I give the benefit of the doubt that they meant it as a compliment (and are not bogged down by hang ups over words). And I thank them. I don't launch into a speech and get angry at them, and demand that they compliment me My Way.

Sometimes people tell me I'm very well spoken/really pretty for a black person. Or oh, 'hey, you're must smarter than people in the military usually are.' or 'wow, you just seem like you've always been small, I never would have guess you had to work at it.' I'm fairly certainly certain they mean it as a compliment and yet it's really hard for me go 'hey, thanks.'.

I'm not saying you gotta get mad but there is nothing wrong with saying "Hey, I actually don't care for that."

But I'm not one to let people say crap I don't appreciate to me and smile because they're 'really nice' or whatever

Obviously that is completely different from saying, "Wow, that dress looks so good on you. You are so slender. I could never wear a dress like that. Maybe you could give me some fitness advice."

What you are describing are not compliments. Those are racist, stereotyping, ignorant back-handed insults. Except for the third one which is a misunderstanding, and is open for you to provide an explanation.

Of course we evaluate by situation.

I pick my battles wisely. Instead of being offended by every misunderstanding.

Daiako

just an FYI for your reference keira knightley the girl in the second photo is underweight by medical standards and has long since been called anorexic because she will often get down to the size of the girl in the top photo.

I think OP should learn when to "speak" and not to speak and not be offensive. And personally I'd rather look "thin" without a bunch of muscle tone than "fit". You can be thin without being emaciated looked. Learn the difference.

this, which casts judgement on Keira Knightley under the guise of medical standards (concern trolling) and takes time to stop over and express her view of the 'muscular' look. But this was fine even tho it's in no way different than the OP's post. I suppose because it was brief? More words = more offense?

I interpreted that more as a point about how OP's judgments are subjective and inaccurate than as "concern trolling". I did think it was strange that the OP posted two pictures of different women, and said one was okay and one wasn't; but chose a woman with some controversy around her weight as the ideal to prove that her point wasn't controversial?

But the picture the OP choose wasn't of Kiera at her thinnest so is it not likely that the OP was referring to the physique pictures and not the actress? And since the comment choose to take it beyond how Keira looks there and mention that she often gets smaller (pictures not shown) it definitely looks like she's trying to say "But this girl isn't healthy or fit either some of the time!" which is unrelated if the OP just likes that physique shown there

Daiako

When people compliment me, I give the benefit of the doubt that they meant it as a compliment (and are not bogged down by hang ups over words). And I thank them. I don't launch into a speech and get angry at them, and demand that they compliment me My Way.

Sometimes people tell me I'm very well spoken/really pretty for a black person. Or oh, 'hey, you're must smarter than people in the military usually are.' or 'wow, you just seem like you've always been small, I never would have guess you had to work at it.' I'm fairly certainly certain they mean it as a compliment and yet it's really hard for me go 'hey, thanks.'.

I'm not saying you gotta get mad but there is nothing wrong with saying "Hey, I actually don't care for that."

But I'm not one to let people say crap I don't appreciate to me and smile because they're 'really nice' or whatever

Obviously that is completely different from saying, "Wow, that dress looks so good on you. You are so slender. I could never wear a dress like that. Maybe you could give me some fitness advice."

But the OP said someone said 'You're getting so thin!' not some carefully chosen statement about her dress using a word that isn't thin. .

BinaryPulsar

When people compliment me, I give the benefit of the doubt that they meant it as a compliment (and are not bogged down by hang ups over words). And I thank them. I don't launch into a speech and get angry at them, and demand that they compliment me My Way.

Sometimes people tell me I'm very well spoken/really pretty for a black person. Or oh, 'hey, you're must smarter than people in the military usually are.' or 'wow, you just seem like you've always been small, I never would have guess you had to work at it.' I'm fairly certainly certain they mean it as a compliment and yet it's really hard for me go 'hey, thanks.'.

I'm not saying you gotta get mad but there is nothing wrong with saying "Hey, I actually don't care for that."

But I'm not one to let people say crap I don't appreciate to me and smile because they're 'really nice' or whatever

Obviously that is completely different from saying, "Wow, that dress looks so good on you. You are so slender. I could never wear a dress like that. Maybe you could give me some fitness advice."

But the OP said someone said 'You're getting so thin!' not some carefully chosen statement about her dress using a word that isn't thin. .

I just try to pick my battles wisely. And if a friend was not back-handed insulting me I remain calm and use tact. Just because they used thin or skinny instead of slim or slender (so are those words ok).

notamoment

I am not in anyway saying, a thinner female body is, in anyway less beautiful.

Actually, that's exactly what you said.

Actually what I said is a stick figure is not beautiful.

Actually your entire post is about how thin is not beautiful, damn.

yopeeps025

Who cares if thin is not beautiful to the OP? Every person has their idea of what is beautiful and what is not. Frankly, I am not attracted to short or skinny men. It's my prerogative. I am also not attracted to fat *kitten*. People getting all butt hurt over an opinion are ridiculous and need to get a life.

That cool cause I love BBW. (big booty women)

meshashesha2012

I sense hurt buttocks.

Are there hurt buttocks in the house?

butthurt is always funny.

my favorite is the butthurt for keira knightly,who i'm going to assume could give a rat's *kitten* either way if people on this forum think her fit or too skinny

Daiako

When people compliment me, I give the benefit of the doubt that they meant it as a compliment (and are not bogged down by hang ups over words). And I thank them. I don't launch into a speech and get angry at them, and demand that they compliment me My Way.

Sometimes people tell me I'm very well spoken/really pretty for a black person. Or oh, 'hey, you're must smarter than people in the military usually are.' or 'wow, you just seem like you've always been small, I never would have guess you had to work at it.' I'm fairly certainly certain they mean it as a compliment and yet it's really hard for me go 'hey, thanks.'.

I'm not saying you gotta get mad but there is nothing wrong with saying "Hey, I actually don't care for that."

But I'm not one to let people say crap I don't appreciate to me and smile because they're 'really nice' or whatever

Obviously that is completely different from saying, "Wow, that dress looks so good on you. You are so slender. I could never wear a dress like that. Maybe you could give me some fitness advice."

But the OP said someone said 'You're getting so thin!' not some carefully chosen statement about her dress using a word that isn't thin. .

I just try to pick my battles wisely. And if a friend was not back-handed insulting me I remain calm and use tact. Just because they used thin or skinny instead of slim or slender (so are those words ok).

I'm not into letting things slide because someone is well intentioned. I'm pretty sure that's how people end up saying the same 'well intentioned' things over and over, blissfully unaware that maybe other's don't care for it.

And I don't know if the OP cares for slim or slender, she didn't touch upon the use of those words and as such I'd prefer not to use carefully worded statements using slim or slender to try and show why the OP shouldn't be annoyed by the word thin.

lizzybathory

Who cares if thin is not beautiful to the OP? Every person has their idea of what is beautiful and what is not. Frankly, I am not attracted to short or skinny men. It's my prerogative. I am also not attracted to fat *kitten*. People getting all butt hurt over an opinion are ridiculous and need to get a life.

It really doesn't matter what she thinks, but it's incredibly rude of her to say negative things about other body types like that. I'm not saying you have to be attracted to "fat *kitten*", but if you post on MFP just to say how fat people aren't attractive, people will feel hurt by it and you won't achieve anything. We all have our preferences but there's no point at all in verbalizing our distaste for others' bodies here.

Daiako

I sense hurt buttocks.

Are there hurt buttocks in the house?

butthurt is always funny.

my favorite is the butthurt for keira knightly,who i'm going to assume could give a rat's *kitten* either way if people on this forum think her fit or too skinny

To be clear I'm not butthurt on Kiera Knightly's behalf (Personally I don't find her body attractive. I know I know, throw me in the stocks.) but rather I'm amused by the irony of someone being able to say they don't think she can qualify for the OP's view of fit because some outside sources think she suffers from anorexia/she gets to be really 'slender/slim' when the whole point of people's outrage is that thin women can be fit too.

wheird

So the Mona Lisa has curves despite only showing a face, only one body type is acceptable as beautiful, and being thin is disgusting and an insult?

Is it not possible, and roll with me here, that in all the billions of people out there on this planet That MAYBE some of them perceive words different than others? And that what is a positive to some is a negative to others? And that we shouldn't have to pretend to be complemented by something because otherwise some thin/fat/thick/short/tall/ugly girl somewhere might be offended?

No?

By that logic, can there not be some that would be offended by a person's assertion that certain words, that are largely accepted as a compliment, are offensive and their implications are disgusting? And that those people may vocally disagree?

Circular logic'd.

Amitysk

In for shenanigans!

Daiako

So the Mona Lisa has curves despite only showing a face, only one body type is acceptable as beautiful, and being thin is disgusting and an insult?

Is it not possible, and roll with me here, that in all the billions of people out there on this planet That MAYBE some of them perceive words different than others? And that what is a positive to some is a negative to others? And that we shouldn't have to pretend to be complemented by something because otherwise some thin/fat/thick/short/tall/ugly girl somewhere might be offended?

No?

By that logic, can there not be some that would be offended by a person's assertion that certain words, that are largely accepted as a compliment, are offensive and their implications are disgusting? And that those people may vocally disagree?

Circular logic'd.

Of course they can be offended. I welcome their offense/vocal disagreement and have no desire to shut them down nor have I ever claimed that they aren't entitled to love the word thing and be upset that other's don't.

I enjoy the disagreement.

It's like when someone says something offensive and people get mad and then that first person whines about not being allowed to express their opinion. Of course you can express your opinion, and those other people can tell you you're opinion sucks (as we see here) but likewise others can then express that the second parties opinion also sucks. That's the beauty of it all. It's only a problem when people say 'This is how I view it and you're wrong for expressing yourself out of this view of what is right and proper, even though you are't forcing your opinion on me and have made it clear that it applies to you and your view and don't seem to make me want to adhere to your world view."

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

wheird

So the Mona Lisa has curves despite only showing a face, only one body type is acceptable as beautiful, and being thin is disgusting and an insult?

Is it not possible, and roll with me here, that in all the billions of people out there on this planet That MAYBE some of them perceive words different than others? And that what is a positive to some is a negative to others? And that we shouldn't have to pretend to be complemented by something because otherwise some thin/fat/thick/short/tall/ugly girl somewhere might be offended?

No?

By that logic, can there not be some that would be offended by a person's assertion that certain words, that are largely accepted as a compliment, are offensive and their implications are disgusting? And that those people may vocally disagree?

Circular logic'd.

Of course they can be offended. I welcome their offense/vocal disagreement and have no desire to shut them down nor have I ever claimed that they aren't entitled to love the word thing and be upset that other's don't.

I enjoy the disagreement.

It's like when someone says something offensive and people get mad and then that first person whines about not being allowed to express their opinion. Of course you can express your opinion, and those other people can tell you you're opinion sucks (as we see here) but likewise others can then express that the second parties opinion also sucks. That's the beauty of it all. It's only a problem when people say 'This is how I view it and you're wrong for expressing yourself out of this view of what is right and proper, even though you are't forcing your opinion on me and have made it clear that it applies to you and your view and don't seem to make me want to adhere to your world view."

That dress looks nice on you.

lizzybathory

Oh. heck. I'm late to the party... I'll have to just get the cliffs?

For those who argue that there is no wrong way to have a body, are you advocating for pro-ana lifestyle that affects mental, physical, and reproductive health as being ok?

Nobody here is arguing that we should all promote anorexia. What I'm arguing (and I'll let others speak for themselves) is that whether or not the person is healthy, it's mean to shame them about the state of their body. Really doesn't help anybody.

Being mean to unhealthy people doesn't help promote healthy bodies.

Not to mention, except for the most extreme cases, most people really can't tell if a very thin person is healthy or not. I got accused of being anorexic all the time when I was at my skinniest, but I ate plenty and was active. And I still had people saying rude things to me.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

So, who defines/ stands in judgment of what is a very subjective term... mean?

Daiako

So the Mona Lisa has curves despite only showing a face, only one body type is acceptable as beautiful, and being thin is disgusting and an insult?

Is it not possible, and roll with me here, that in all the billions of people out there on this planet That MAYBE some of them perceive words different than others? And that what is a positive to some is a negative to others? And that we shouldn't have to pretend to be complemented by something because otherwise some thin/fat/thick/short/tall/ugly girl somewhere might be offended?

No?

By that logic, can there not be some that would be offended by a person's assertion that certain words, that are largely accepted as a compliment, are offensive and their implications are disgusting? And that those people may vocally disagree?

Circular logic'd.

Of course they can be offended. I welcome their offense/vocal disagreement and have no desire to shut them down nor have I ever claimed that they aren't entitled to love the word thing and be upset that other's don't.

I enjoy the disagreement.

It's like when someone says something offensive and people get mad and then that first person whines about not being allowed to express their opinion. Of course you can express your opinion, and those other people can tell you you're opinion sucks (as we see here) but likewise others can then express that the second parties opinion also sucks. That's the beauty of it all. It's only a problem when people say 'This is how I view it and you're wrong for expressing yourself out of this view of what is right and proper, even though you are't forcing your opinion on me and have made it clear that it applies to you and your view and don't seem to make me want to adhere to your world view."

That dress looks nice on you.

I've been told it makes my delts, traps, and thighs look ah-mazing. I'm too lazy to google where/what my delts are but I'm pretty sure that makes me happy ]