"You MUST send me a message if you want to be my friend"

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  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I don't accept people who don't send a message. I also do not warn people of this ahead of time.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    you want to check out my snacks....but you can't be bothered to type a note that says, "i just want to check out your snacks?" yeah, you can go away now.

    Mirin dem snacks
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    Do you have an instagram? Do you have to know everyone that follows you there as well? You've lost 101 lbs and I'm sure you're a motivation to a lot of people that you might not even know who just stumbled upon in a thread and have never talked to. I feel like it's more creepy to say "i saw that you posted in a thread but i never talked to you" than to just not say anything at all.

    I am more creeped out by silence. It is like having a conversation at a restaurant, and some stranger wearing work out gear comes over and sits next to me, then picks through my salad, asking how many carbs are in spinach. At least tell my who the hell you are first...

    How many times do I have to say, "I'm sorry"??????
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I understand if you have 60-70 requests per day, that would be annoying to deal with in a news feed. I'm clearly not internet popular like everyone else.

    I get maybe one a month.

    But if I've never seen you, and we've never had any exchange and no mutual friends...where did you even find me? Is the first thing I think.

    It's the polite thing to send a message.I mean you don't go up to random strangers and just poke them and say "FRIEND?" Or maybe you do, maybe you were raised in a barn, but I don't know that unless you tell me.

    Point is introduce yourself when sending a FR.
    Exactly. For the most part, I don't get a ton of FRs. I got a lot when I had a different picture up, but otherwise, I get a few here and there. Not overwhelming. But many of them are from people with no mutuals, no forum posts, nothing. Why do you want to be my friend? You don't know anything about me.

    ETA: That is on my profile, but my profile is private now so new people can't see it. lol I added it because of threads like these, though. I don't think it should ave to be specifically stated, but it makes people like the OP angry and that was worth it.
  • LazSommer
    LazSommer Posts: 1,851 Member
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    Narcissism.
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
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    Do you have an instagram? Do you have to know everyone that follows you there as well? You've lost 101 lbs and I'm sure you're a motivation to a lot of people that you might not even know who just stumbled upon in a thread and have never talked to. I feel like it's more creepy to say "i saw that you posted in a thread but i never talked to you" than to just not say anything at all.

    I am more creeped out by silence. It is like having a conversation at a restaurant, and some stranger wearing work out gear comes over and sits next to me, then picks through my salad, asking how many carbs are in spinach. At least tell my who the hell you are first...

    I choked on my salad reading this... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Could you even imagine MFP in real life? People just flashing each other, that one random guy that walks by and yells at you for not eating breakfast. A bunch of men with bleeding nipples stopping to talk about their fitbits.
  • Greenkiwis
    Greenkiwis Posts: 13 Member
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    Amen! Just sent you a messageless friend request.
  • rachelrb85
    rachelrb85 Posts: 579 Member
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    Um, yeah... I'm not exactly a friend collector and I prefer to have friends who will interact with me and/or have similar goals, common interests, etc. It takes 2 seconds to add a message with the request to add where you found me, what your goals are, or why you want to be friends. Blank friend requests just annoy me, especially when your profile is private or blank, how am I supposed to know anything about you?
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
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    Why do you care?
  • Mikkimeow
    Mikkimeow Posts: 1,282 Member
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    Do you have an instagram? Do you have to know everyone that follows you there as well? You've lost 101 lbs and I'm sure you're a motivation to a lot of people that you might not even know who just stumbled upon in a thread and have never talked to. I feel like it's more creepy to say "i saw that you posted in a thread but i never talked to you" than to just not say anything at all.

    I am more creeped out by silence. It is like having a conversation at a restaurant, and some stranger wearing work out gear comes over and sits next to me, then picks through my salad, asking how many carbs are in spinach. At least tell my who the hell you are first...

    How many times do I have to say, "I'm sorry"??????

    You always had me at hello. :heart:
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    Isn't it basic courtesy to introduce yourself first anyway?

    If I wanted to get to know someone in real life I wouldn't just sit in front of them panting and expect anything (except a restraining order may be...)
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    i wish i had someone that would make all my decisions for me.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    Because I talk about personal things with my FL sometimes and, also, you might not get my sense of humor.

    Why do you care?
  • onefortyone
    onefortyone Posts: 531 Member
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    I add everyone who requests, have rarely had a message sent with it, and haven't had any issues. But then again, I only read the top part of my friend feed and rarely scroll down. I will just delete people if I see something I don't like - under their calories by too much on too many days, posting of 'excuses' ( I understand skipping workouts - but assuming you don't need to work out because you just did a huge grocery shop/errand run and it was really 'hard work' unloading the car? No) or stuff that specifically makes me sad/uncomfortable, like baby posts or pregnancy posts.

    I also go through my friendslist every month or so and delete people who haven't logged in for more than a month - that's too long for a regular vacation, and I don't like constant 'ok I was gone for a bit and gained xxlbs but I'm BACK WITH A TEASPOON OF MOTIVATION YAY' posts.

    So right now I feel comfortable with my FL and I do get kind of attached to certain usernames who consistently log in and do their workouts and finish their diaries :)
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    See, it's weird to me that someone would ask to be a person's friend with no introduction or anything. It'd be like walking up to someone on the street and just asking if you can come over to my house.

    I know, it's the internet, but I do try to interact with my list and I like to know a little something about the people on it. I've kinda given up on a small list, but I at least want to feel like the people on it are real people instead of just a list of names.

    FWIW you can stalk my diary without sending a request-- it's public.

    eta: I also almost NEVER delete people. I'm a big wimp about it. So it's easier to screen more closely in the first place.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    I understand if you have 60-70 requests per day, that would be annoying to deal with in a news feed. I'm clearly not internet popular like everyone else.

    yeah, i can't figure out why
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
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    Do you have an instagram? Do you have to know everyone that follows you there as well? You've lost 101 lbs and I'm sure you're a motivation to a lot of people that you might not even know who just stumbled upon in a thread and have never talked to. I feel like it's more creepy to say "i saw that you posted in a thread but i never talked to you" than to just not say anything at all.

    I am more creeped out by silence. It is like having a conversation at a restaurant, and some stranger wearing work out gear comes over and sits next to me, then picks through my salad, asking how many carbs are in spinach. At least tell my who the hell you are first...

    I choked on my salad reading this... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Could you even imagine MFP in real life? People just flashing each other, that one random guy that walks by and yells at you for not eating breakfast. A bunch of men with bleeding nipples stopping to talk about their fitbits.

    And a bunch of whiny babies on soap boxes in random corners yelling about mean people and how we should just love each other and exchange rainbows, puppies, and unicorn s***.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Bleeding nipples? *perks up*
  • DjinnMarie
    DjinnMarie Posts: 1,297 Member
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    Meh. I don't get a lot of friend requests. The only ones I decline are the ones with no message, no pics, no forum posts, etc. it just seems odd.

    Once in a while I will go through my friends list and remove inactive friends.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
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    I'm equal opportunity, I'll reject your FR even with a message.

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