"You MUST send me a message if you want to be my friend"

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Replies

  • ActuarialChef
    ActuarialChef Posts: 1,413 Member
    I usually run a credit check, criminal background and insurability screening prior to accepting any friend requests.

    Always consult an actuary as well... just to make sure your investment of friendship is worthwhile.

    You know what an actuary is! I like you! :smile:
    My friend is married to an actuary.
    Now I want to be an actuary just to see what it's all about.

    I always wanted to be an actuary so at parties, when people said, "oh, you're like an insurance adjuster", I could say, "Actually, I'm an Actuary"

    Haha I have honestly NEVER been able to say that but it would be pretty cool :tongue:
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
    but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly

    hmm
  • meaganlael
    meaganlael Posts: 32
    Totally get where you're coming from, OP. I'm not expecting to make lifelong friends here, and honestly don't have time to sculpt personal relationships with everyone on my list, so I don't need to know specific reasons why I'm being friended or even an introduction. I'm just looking to be motivated and to motivate those on my list, nothing else.
  • doctorsookie
    doctorsookie Posts: 1,084 Member
    Leaving a message takes all of two seconds...is it REALLY that big of a deal not to send one. I happen to be one of those people and yes I do in fact like to know how the person found me. if we have mutual friends or they feel I can help them in some way.

    THIS
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
    but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly

    Exactly. I'm here to show off my lopsided tits and my big fat *kitten*. Duh.

    tumblr_mr6laqpJ4l1qdlh1io1_400_zps60dc997c.gif
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
    but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly

    You're so charming
  • free1220
    free1220 Posts: 416 Member
    On the other hand...there are folks who are looking to get friends but have closed profiles.Whaaaaaa????
  • laynerich15
    laynerich15 Posts: 1,918 Member
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  • dorkyfaery
    dorkyfaery Posts: 255 Member
    Different people use the site in different ways. It's just as easy to avoid sending a request to those people as it is for me to decline a request. It's not up to you to decide how every user utilizes this site. Why does it bother you so much? Just don't friend those people You weren't meant for each other.
  • ChooseYourAdventure
    ChooseYourAdventure Posts: 16
    I decline everyone, regardless of the message. I don't have time to hold anyone's hand, much less 100+ of them. It kind of boggles the mind how people can keep up with all of that.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Totally get where you're coming from, OP. I'm not expecting to make lifelong friends here, and honestly don't have time to sculpt personal relationships with everyone on my list, so I don't need to know specific reasons why I'm being friended or even an introduction. I'm just looking to be motivated and to motivate those on my list, nothing else.
    Well then we must all be exactly the same. :-/

    Here's a story: Years ago, I joined Weight Watchers online and got to know someone there. She and I were having similar relationship issues and had a lot in common, but live on separate ends of the country. Seven years later neither of us is on WW anymore, but we've connected on FB and here and she is one of my most favorite people in the world. That is longer than some of my RL friendships have lasted.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    It's my prerogative. (cue Bobby Brown)
  • wfrazjr
    wfrazjr Posts: 43 Member
    Life is great. Gain great friends and live life.
  • Building_Bulk
    Building_Bulk Posts: 20,596 Member
    alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
    but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly

    2eexM00.gif
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
    but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly

    Exactly. I'm here to show off my lopsided tits and my big fat *kitten*. Duh.

    tumblr_mr6laqpJ4l1qdlh1io1_400_zps60dc997c.gif

    I'm sending you a blank FR for this.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    On the other hand...there are folks who are looking to get friends but have closed profiles.Whaaaaaa????

    So you can't creep their pics.
  • _HeartsOnFire_
    _HeartsOnFire_ Posts: 5,304 Member
    alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
    but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly

    You're doing it wrong.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
    but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly

    You're doing it wrong.

    I like your hooter.
  • trogalicious
    trogalicious Posts: 4,584 Member
    alot on here, like to make it a big deal....like they want you beggin to be your friend....................and then they won't say **** to ya.......but they want all the attention.......they want you coming to their page..............too much work for them to come to your page..................as you say....only takes a few seconds..............lmao......so many attention getters on here..............
    but there are a couple of handfuls of good people on here..............but mostly the women want to show their *kitten* or tits.....and the dudes want to flex their muscles...............majority of them won't show their face.......lol hiding from their spouse or their that damn ugly

    You're....... doing.... it .............
    ....
    ..


    ......
    wrong.
    FTFY.
    Maybe it's morse code?
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    1) why are you so bothered by this?

    2) no, I do not find it funny, at all. Its a personal choice as to what they are comfortable with - and frankly nothing to do with you.
  • CorlissaEats
    CorlissaEats Posts: 493 Member
    Do you have an instagram? Do you have to know everyone that follows you there as well? You've lost 101 lbs and I'm sure you're a motivation to a lot of people that you might not even know who just stumbled upon in a thread and have never talked to. I feel like it's more creepy to say "i saw that you posted in a thread but i never talked to you" than to just not say anything at all.

    I am more creeped out by silence. It is like having a conversation at a restaurant, and some stranger wearing work out gear comes over and sits next to me, then picks through my salad, asking how many carbs are in spinach. At least tell my who the hell you are first...


    I choked on my salad reading this... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    LOL. I'm stealing this. I always say that a blank friend request is like walking up to a stranger in a mall and trying to hold their hand. This is MUCH better! :laugh:
  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
    On the other hand...there are folks who are looking to get friends but have closed profiles.Whaaaaaa????

    THIS.

    While I don't demand a message or anything, it's nice when they come with one, but even when they do, 90% of the time I'm just sitting there like "how did you find me?"

    I used to just accept everyone, but now I'm starting to get a little pickier -- which probably has absolutely nothing to do with the creepy messages and amount of 40+ year old men hitting on me and saying inappropriate things.

    Yep... nothing at all.
  • BekaBooluvsu
    BekaBooluvsu Posts: 470 Member
    I'm picky about who I accept on my FL, primarily because it's too easy to accept everyone and end up with a giant, unmanageable FL. I like to get to know people, so I set criteria. I keep my list small. If you're not mutuals with people on my list I probably won't accept; even if you are mutuals it doesn't mean that I will. If no message is included it doesn't even get considered. And even if you meet the criteria, if I don't feel like we'd be a good personality match I'll probably still decline. That may seem overly picky to some, but there have been weeks when I've gotten 60 or 70 requests. There has to be a limit, at least for me.

    I feel the same.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    leaving a msg with the FR is nice but not necessary
    if you do leave one i will be more inclined to maybe pay attention to you (lol no i wont)
  • SubZeroDude
    SubZeroDude Posts: 1,519 Member
    leaving a msg with the FR is nice but not necessary
    if you do leave one i will be more inclined to maybe pay attention to you (lol no i wont)

    This is 98% of the people I'm sure, regardless what their profile says lol
  • njitaliana
    njitaliana Posts: 814 Member
    It takes a few seconds to tell someone that you liked their post on a thread, or that you have a friend in common. It's a matter of being considerate and courteous toward other people.
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  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    This isn't real life just so everyone knows.

    How is it not real life? I'm real. You're real. Everyone on my friend list is real. The words I type are real. The conversations we have are real. Does the fact that the internet is facilitating our conversations somehow change these facts? Does that mean that telephone calls are also not real life? Emails? When does one cross this fictional boundary between real-life and not real-life?

    The things you do and say online are just as real as anywhere else. Arguably more so, since if you do something that garners sufficient attention online it never, ever, goes away.

    The people on my friend list are actually friends. Not just random strangers I accepted as entries in a database flagged 'friend'. There's not a one of them I wouldn't meet in person and get a drink with. I like them. I like what they have to say. A quick message with your friend request just helps me decide if you are likely to be someone I'll enjoy interacting with. Likewise when I send a friend request, I'll briefly describe why I think we'll enjoy being friends. Sometimes it doesn't workout, and I'll drop someone from my list, or they'll drop me from their's. No hard feelings, some people just aren't compatible.

    If you would like to curate your friend list in a different way, that's fine too. None of my business. I literally couldn't care less. Just don't go around pretending like yours is the one true method and everyone else's ideas are obviously crazy.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Guilty. It's because I want friends who actually *interact* with me and have READ my profile before adding me. If they don't have anything to say, chances are slim to none that we will have much interaction after they have been added.

    If you're put off by it, that's fine, the 'x' button is right there at the top right. No skin off my nose.

    This is why I put that line in there too. It's like a test to see if you actually read about me or not. Also, reading my profile gives you a chance to know what you're getting into, and I am definitely not everyone's cup of tea.

    If someone takes the time to write a message, they will most likely interact with you. I have ran into a couple collectors and it become a pain to keep up with everyone.

    Oh this forum is lacking cat gifs by the way:
    tumblr_mg49wbuAA01rmugu7o1_400.gif
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    I require it because people are @$$holes. And, if you're low carb, or no carb, or shakeology, or talk about this food is good and this one is bad, or how you burned 11,000 calories doing laundry, I'm going to delete you. Sending a message about how you found me tells me that you feel like you have something in common or can relate in some way. Without that, I have no idea why you want to be my friends. On the internet, I view it like real life, you don't just walk up and start standing next to someone and follow them around everywhere without saying something first.

    It was only 8,000 calories I burned dammit. :grumble:

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