Congratulating MFP friends who make bad choices

BombshellPhoenix

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier.

That's not why I'm here.

If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

Nope, that's not my job. If anyone on my FL thinks that's my job, they can remove me.

We're all adults. If someone eats 2k calories of pound cake, I'm going to say it sounds yummy, because it does. If they do it 3 days a week and are still achieving their fitness goals, I'm going to tell them they're bad@ss. If they're complaining about being squishy and jiggly, I might tell them to eat more protein. If they're whining about being constipated, I might suggest more fiber. If they say they're having a hard time not stuffing their face with pastries all day, I'll offer some advice that helped me when my sweet tooth got a little out of hand. If they flat out ask me to hold them accountable, and I have the time and desire to do so, I'll call them on their bull$hit. If they require excessive hand holding, I'm the wrong friend for them.

Personal responsibility.

I'd hold your hand

rml_16

But yeah I've never understood what's so unhealthy about bread, cheese, meat, and veggies. Unless you subscribe to the mindset that wheat is poison, of course.

My problem is how much I love the taste and I cannot eat just a slice or two of pizza. But I plan ahead for it because I know that about myself.

kaseyr1505

If my friends were making bad choices, ones that actually harmed other people (not just busybodies), I wouldn't congratulate them. What they eat falls into the category of 'not my problem'

5stringjeff

We definatly cant be friends.. I eat pizza probably once a week, the occasional oreo, drink beer, and every now and then go to chickfila. But the important part is i always stay at or under my calorie goal.

We, on the other hand, can definitely be friends, since I eat those same things!

MrsKGrady

I'm taking baby steps because I've tried making the drastic step of cutting everything out and trying to only eat clean. You know what? That didn't work for me. This is the first time in my life that I'm making a conscious effort to change my life. In order to do that, FOR ME, I need to take it slow and to work on one thing at a time. I started with walking more. Then added interval training through C25K. I started counting calories and just working on making the things I want work within my calorie guidelines almost 80 days ago and have been a faithful logger ever since. Yes, my log may show fast food and other stuff, but what it doesn't show you is the reduction in the amount of fast food from almost every day to 1-2 days/week. It doesn't show that I chose a small fry instead of a medium or an ice tea/water instead of a coke.

I'm currently working on adding more strength training and upping my movement. I've challenged myself to do a 5k every week until Halloween when the amount of 5ks available begins to decline. Gradually, I plan to eat more and more clean until I'm only eating out occasionally.

I leave my diary open so other people can see what I'm doing. I don't force my opinion on them when I see them doing something I wouldn't do. Judging someone by their diary can be very deceptive. If you don't like what they're eating, don't say anything. Find more friends that have the same goals/beliefs as you.

*Edited to soothe the grammar nerd within

trinatrina1984

in to read later

lizarddev

To be honest, the first thing I check is not the type of foods that are being logged but the macros and calories.

Too many times I see people 'congratulating' a diary that is less than 1000 calories. If I know someone is dealing with the struggle to eat enough and is under-eating - which I do find is way too common here - then quite frankly, YES, please eat that cheeseburger. After they're consistent with eating for awhile, then I can start to encourage them to eat their protein or some other 'healthy' alternative down the line.

But any encouragement is only after I've messaged with a friend or chatted for awhile and I know what they're struggling with personally. If I see someone is under one day, I'll ask why - maybe they're sick? But if I see someone is consistently under, I won't comment on their diary, I WILL send them a message asking what's up. I'm up front with my friends though - I tell them I will ask them what's up if they're not eating, exercising or meeting some other 'goal' they've set for themselves. If they don't want me to ask and are really in it for the cat gifs - I don't ask.

I want to be an encouragement to my friends, and to me, that means baby steps in encouragement. Eat. Eat close to your macros. Eat food close to your nutritional goals. These are small steps - but they need the previous steps as a foundation to meet their personal goals if they're struggling'. Or sometimes...it's a cat gif. There are all types of encouragement on here, and not everyone responds well to 'stop eating big macs!'

You are correct. The first thing someone should check is what you have stated. It could be that someones isn't losing weight due to too much sodium intake. It could be something else. Never badger them, it is about motivating them to watch certain things if they are not dropping the weight they are wanting and changing the choices they make throughout the day. It is a decision they will have to make. .

da_bears1008

IN for blanket statements and demonizing food

Strange_magic

Is the McDonalds or Pizza hut within their macros?
I had McDonalds today. And my macros will be perfect.


Shove it with the good and bad food thing.

cmcollins001

If anyone can log this, you bet your sweet bippy I'm going to congratulate them!

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

But yeah I've never understood what's so unhealthy about bread, cheese, meat, and veggies. Unless you subscribe to the mindset that wheat is poison, of course.

My problem is how much I love the taste and I cannot eat just a slice or two of pizza. But I plan ahead for it because I know that about myself.

That's a separate issue to me, although I do know lots of people have that problem with pizza. And yes, a big part of practicing moderation is knowing oneself and what circumstances will be too much for the willpower one possesses.

Raynne413

This is a bit of a problem around here.

Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all

I'm more concerned by the diaries of people that consistently eat under 1200 calories, and get congratulated for coming in under their goal.

OKfarmgal

I like McDonalds and pizza!

I should not drink while I read posts. My water almost came out my nose I laughed so hard!! This made my day!! ????

redromad275

Personal responsibility....hmmmmmm There's a concept worth looking at.

rml_16

But yeah I've never understood what's so unhealthy about bread, cheese, meat, and veggies. Unless you subscribe to the mindset that wheat is poison, of course.

My problem is how much I love the taste and I cannot eat just a slice or two of pizza. But I plan ahead for it because I know that about myself.

That's a separate issue to me, although I do know lots of people have that problem with pizza. And yes, a big part of practicing moderation is knowing oneself and what circumstances will be too much for the willpower one possesses.

Oh definitely! I was just saying that I don't think pizza in itself is bad or that anyone should be criticized for eating it. Just that FOR ME, it's tough to eat in moderation. I can eat a caprese salad and bread moderately, though.

But I will still eat pizza. :-)

Skye_NS

This is why my diary is closed.

This!

I log what I eat, most days I stay within my targets for the day. Going over for the day doesn't mean I'm off the wagon, it means I was likely under the day before or that I plan to balance it out later in the week. Or...[gasp] I was just hungry. Life happens. I don't need a hall monitor peering over my shoulder telling me that a particular food is 'bad' or that I should eat cauliflower instead of potatoes, or that I need to replace a meal with an overpriced shake... :grumble:

ichoose2believe

Tomorrow night is pizza night and I will be having some. Same as every other friday. I watch what I eat and modify for this event.

April_KT

We definatly cant be friends.. I eat pizza probably once a week, the occasional oreo, drink beer, and every now and then go to chickfila. But the important part is i always stay at or under my calorie goal.

We, on the other hand, can definitely be friends, since I eat those same things!

Cheers to real food!! :drinker: :drinker:

amusedmonkey

But yeah I've never understood what's so unhealthy about bread, cheese, meat, and veggies. Unless you subscribe to the mindset that wheat is poison, of course.

My problem is how much I love the taste and I cannot eat just a slice or two of pizza. But I plan ahead for it because I know that about myself.

That's a separate issue to me, although I do know lots of people have that problem with pizza. And yes, a big part of practicing moderation is knowing oneself and what circumstances will be too much for the willpower one possesses.

Oh definitely! I was just saying that I don't think pizza in itself is bad or that anyone should be criticized for eating it. Just that FOR ME, it's tough to eat in moderation. I can eat a caprese salad and bread moderately, though.

But I will still eat pizza. :-)

Note OP said "a slice of pizza". The talk here is not about moderation, everyone is to decide for themselves when and how much to eat of something, or if they should skip it if they're not sure they can control themselves. The problem is calling some foods "bad" or "unhealthy" just because it looks a certain way, when you could just deconstruct your pizza, not make the tomatoes into sauce and not melt the cheese and it's suddenly healthy.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

But yeah I've never understood what's so unhealthy about bread, cheese, meat, and veggies. Unless you subscribe to the mindset that wheat is poison, of course.

My problem is how much I love the taste and I cannot eat just a slice or two of pizza. But I plan ahead for it because I know that about myself.

That's a separate issue to me, although I do know lots of people have that problem with pizza. And yes, a big part of practicing moderation is knowing oneself and what circumstances will be too much for the willpower one possesses.

Oh definitely! I was just saying that I don't think pizza in itself is bad or that anyone should be criticized for eating it. Just that FOR ME, it's tough to eat in moderation. I can eat a caprese salad and bread moderately, though.

But I will still eat pizza. :-)

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