Congratulating MFP friends who make bad choices

FXOjafar

This is a bit of a problem around here.

Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all

Graelwyn75

This is a bit of a problem around here.

Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all

I fail to see an issue with an occasional happy meal or slice of pizza if the rest of one's diet is nutritionally sound and within the correct calories. It is that sort of extreme, of cutting out all such things, that often leads people to failure. Personally, I am not that big on McDonalds and pizza, but many here have lost a lot of weight, become healthier and got to low bodyfat levels while eating ice cream, pizza and McDonalds, because they ensure that they meet their other nutritional requirements.

peleroja

Not everyone here believes in achieving their goals the same way. Some are into a more IIFYM style of eating which often can and does include fast food, and it's not necessarily unhealthy. Obviously surviving on cheeseburgers isn't ideal, but getting judgemental about the way other people are eating is a little ridiculous. If they're still hitting their own targets and can fit in some cookies, then good for them, in my opinion.

If you have a problem with it, don't have people on your friends list who eat processed food. Simple, right?

Alatariel75

This is why my diary is closed.

Miss_1999

This is a bit of a problem around here.

Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all

I fail to see an issue with an occasional happy meal or slice of pizza if the rest of one's diet is nutritionally sound and within the correct calories. It is that sort of extreme, of cutting out all such things, that often leads people to failure. Personally, I am not that big on McDonalds and pizza, but many here have lost a lot of weight, become healthier and got to low bodyfat levels while eating ice cream, pizza and McDonalds, because they ensure that they meet their other nutritional requirements.

I agree. As long as something is fitting in within the limits, there's nothing wrong with having pizza, ice cream, a happy meal, or anything else. It's about learning how to eat the correct portions and making these things fit into our lives correctly. Realistically, unless someone absolutely hates these foods, they aren't going to stay away from them forever, so they're doing the right thing by learning how to eat the right portions, looking at the calorie/carb/protein and any other values that they're needing for their daily intake and factoring this in.

It is awesome that you're concerned for your friends, and not wanting to see someone fail, or fall into back into bad habits. Good for you, for stepping up and caring about their well-being, as well as your own! The biggest thing is if you're seeing some of these foods, popping up occasionally on people's diaries, take a look and see what else was there that day, along with the exercise/activity. It might be surprising. If not, just ask your friends about it, if you have a question.

lacurandera1

If someone gave me grief over a piece of pizza (or heck, half a pizza), we would probably not get along.

That said, I work hard. I workout hard. This is about creating sustainable habits for life. Not depriving myself until I reach an arbitrary number.

daybehavior

I agree with all the above people who have posted. The fact that you admit you might have McDonald's or Pizza and are scared of that means you still have an unhealthy relationship with food. I have plenty of friends who are fit/health and make "bad choices".

Joannah700

To be honest, the first thing I check is not the type of foods that are being logged but the macros and calories.

Too many times I see people 'congratulating' a diary that is less than 1000 calories. If I know someone is dealing with the struggle to eat enough and is under-eating - which I do find is way too common here - then quite frankly, YES, please eat that cheeseburger. After they're consistent with eating for awhile, then I can start to encourage them to eat their protein or some other 'healthy' alternative down the line.

But any encouragement is only after I've messaged with a friend or chatted for awhile and I know what they're struggling with personally. If I see someone is under one day, I'll ask why - maybe they're sick? But if I see someone is consistently under, I won't comment on their diary, I WILL send them a message asking what's up. I'm up front with my friends though - I tell them I will ask them what's up if they're not eating, exercising or meeting some other 'goal' they've set for themselves. If they don't want me to ask and are really in it for the cat gifs - I don't ask.

I want to be an encouragement to my friends, and to me, that means baby steps in encouragement. Eat. Eat close to your macros. Eat food close to your nutritional goals. These are small steps - but they need the previous steps as a foundation to meet their personal goals if they're struggling'. Or sometimes...it's a cat gif. There are all types of encouragement on here, and not everyone responds well to 'stop eating big macs!'

Sarauk2sf

This is a bit of a problem around here.

Possibly with some people...however....

Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

You are making an awful lot of assumptions here.

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

I would think you should check as to whether they are actually 'falling off the wagon'. Also, I think you appear to be missing some context here as to what is 'bad'.

Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong.

That would go down fantastically with me.

I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

If that's what you want, that is your prerogative, but please do not assume that my goals, situation and views are the same as yours.

It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

Quite the blanket statement with some hyperbole thrown in.

lacurandera1

This is a bit of a problem around here.

Possibly with some people...however....

Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

You are making an awful lot of assumptions here.

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

I would think you should check as to whether they are actually 'falling off the wagon'. Also, I think you appear to be missing some context here as to what is 'bad'.

Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong.

That would go down fantastically with me.

I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

If that's what you want, that is your prerogative, but please do not assume that my goals, situation and views are the same as yours.

It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

Quite the blanket statement with some hyperbole thrown in.

You gone die, Sara.


All dat ice cream. Tsk, tsk.

GatorDeb1

This is why my diary is closed.

Bingo. I get "You're too skinny!" enough in real life without people critiquing my food choices lol

NoMoreBlameGame

This is a bit of a problem around here.

No, it is a bit of a problem according to you.

Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

Darn right.
"Great Logging" - yes, it's great that they logged!
"Well Done" - Heck yes...well done, you stayed within your goal.
"Yummy day!" - "Yummy" is defined by everyone very differently.

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier.

Correct! And, if someone who used to eat 6,000 calories per day is now eating 2000 calories a day, that is a helluva lot healthier!

If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

Maybe their wagon isn't the same as *your* wagon.

Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong.

Wrong according to whose standards? Yours...or the one doing the logging?

It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

Choosing to eat a slice of pizza isn't leading people to a lower quality of life. Demanding they eat absolutely nothing apart from what you (or anyone else) deems appropriate...will definitely lead to a lower quality of life. What do you define as a life of quality? Lowering the self esteem of a friend by picking apart their food dairy certainly seems like lowering their quality of life to me.

Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all

I sound grumpy also, but that's because I am.


Edited To Add
I'm now beginning to understand what someone meant when they told me, "be here for a while and see how long you stay nice in the way you say things." Yup...I get it, now.

DavPul

This is a bit of a problem around here.

Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all

PrizePopple

If I log a total crapfest and I'm honest about it, that *is* a good thing. By doing so I'm not hitting the finish button on my day being full of s**t (so to speak). It's about accountability. We're human. We slip up. I'm only in my second full week of logging and not doing so in a half assed manner, and encouragement helps. I'll be the first to post that my day REALLY sucked. I totally own it and know that tomorrow is another day, and my friends (one of them has already posted here actually) will be like "yep, you're right, keep it up!"

Also, hell yes, one of my friends had chicken strips today and it sounded AMAZING. I really really want some chicken strips now too.

If a "friend" called me out every time I had a s**tty day, they likely wouldn't be my friend anymore.

GatorDeb1

http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/karnazes_dean1.jpg

He eats whole pizzas folded in two like a sandwich while running. You should try to make him see the error of his ways.

LITtlerMeCO

This is why my diary is closed.

Me too. Yesterday I had two cookies--this was after a healthy dinner and 75 minutes at the gym. Last week I lost just over two pounds and I'm expecting something close when I weight in on Monday. The occasional cookie won't hurt my progress and keeps me on track overall.

pixelatedsun

I used to eat fast food multiple times a week. These days, maybe once a week I'll go get one of the two cheeseburger meals from McDonalds for dinner as a treat, or maybe a frozen pizza and divvy it up between 2 days of lunches or dinners.

I've gone from a double quarter pounder with cheese AND an apple pie AND maybe another double cheeseburger to a normal, nice-sized #2 combo. I've gone from an entire large, stuffed crust pizza to a nice, thin crust one that's portioned out to last at least two meals.

So yeah, I do eat fast food. I do eat pizza. But I enjoy those things, and without them, I'd end up binge eating out of protest because to me, a life not eating my favorite things is not sustainable. And if anyone on my MFP friends list has a problem with it, don't let the door hit ya on the way out.

BrienJD

"Not everyone here believes in achieving their goals the same way. Some are into a more IIFYM style of eating which often can and does include fast food, and it's not necessarily unhealthy. Obviously surviving on cheeseburgers isn't ideal, but getting judgemental about the way other people are eating is a little ridiculous. If they're still hitting their own targets and can fit in some cookies, then good for them, in my opinion"

I second the motion. While I do understand where the OP is coming from in a way, castigating and shaming people because they have junk food is not the way to go either. My friends are supportive even if I have pizza and ice cream. No one is saying great job if I have 15 Whoppers with cheese at one sitting though, but also no one is smacking me down because I fall off the wagon a time or two or three or four.

Sometimes it also a guilty pleasure to live vicariously through other peoples diaries.

To me it's all about friendship and support. We are all adults and most of us don't need nannies. We (or at least I) need people who understand daily life. Who listen to triumphs and failures equally. I gain some of the best encouragement/motivation just reading of other peoples success and bumps in the road. Some of my friends have had hard times yet they still log in day after day after day, whether or not it's good. That gives me strength to overcome my own failures without the feeling of being nagged. I am certain that if my friends disapproved of, or couldn't tolerate my on again off again success, then I wouldn't be on their lists anymore.

I for one am thankful for the people who consistently support me and who keep me on their FL through thick and thin. I think they know too that I will do the same for them.

Off soapbox (if I've meandered too far off topic, my apologies)

If someone doesn't meet certain personal criteria, then you have the power to remove them. Everyone is different.

mathandcats

Unless the person has made it clear they are trying to change what they eat, not just how much they eat, I don't think it's my place to nag them about it. Some people are just here for weight loss, and they can eat what they want to to do that. If they mention trying to eat better, I will give my input and suggestions.

Cranquistador

I don't consider yummy food bad.

MyChocolateDiet