Congratulating MFP friends who make bad choices

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  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
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    This is a bit of a problem around here.

    Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

    We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

    Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

    It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

    Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all :)






    I hear your concern. However, it really is not up to me to point out the flaws I may see in someone else's food diary. There are so many different food plans to follow and everyone on MFP has their own agenda. It is up to me to make the changes that I would like to see in my own food diary. I can still offer support to others by not putting them down and making them feel judged.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    WTG!
  • tedsmama
    tedsmama Posts: 178 Member
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    This post is the perfect example of why I choose to rock MFP solo. Now please excuse me, I have a box of wine to finish.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    This post is the perfect example of why I choose to rock MFP solo. Now please excuse me, I have a box of wine to finish.
    :drinker:

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  • Biggirllittledreams
    Biggirllittledreams Posts: 306 Member
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    The last time i checked, a slice of pizza never killed anybody, nor did a meal from McDonalds. Perhaps continual and repeated unhealthy eating habits did, but logging in to see one or two less than 'pristine' food choices on a friend's food diary isn't any cause for concern really.

    When you think about it, healthy diets also include moderation, as they aren't overly rigid. Only eating incredibly nutrient dense foods/not allowing yourself to indulge is the polar opposite of healthy, as health includes both physical and mental health! :)
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    well have different styles of eating. you may think pizza is a bad choice, but for people that count calories and dont believe in depriving themselves its ok. they fit it into their day.. as long as they fit their macros and have no issues with pizza. life is meant to be enjoyed. so some people believe in moderation not deprivation.

    just because you see it as a bad choice doesn't mean its a bad choice to other people. you cant make that judgement. you dont know where they started.. they may have used to eat 5 slices of pizza, but now they have a slice of pizza and a salad. thats a big step for them.. this journey is full of baby steps.

    some people believe in the all or nothing approach and most people burn out on that really quick.

    i do not give advice on people diary's unless they ask me for it.. even than i tread lightly. because i eat extremely clean. i have alot of health issues with sensitivities so im mostly plant based, but i dont expect everyone to eat like me.

    we all have to find what works for each of us. its not my place to tell someone they are doing something wrong.

    i mean i could tell Sara. damn girl your eating 12 scoops of ice cream i believe it was and you chug coffee like its water.. lol thats wrong. that's not healthy, but i wont do that .. 1. because sara is badass. shes healthy.. she knows what fits into her plan. and health and fitness isn't about being miserable. you know i love you girl.. i couldn't resist lol

    but seriously. your friends know what works for them. and if they are making wrong choices they know they are. you are not going to change they're mind by telling them dont do that.. they have to own their choices. wrong or right its their choice to make.

    lol..:flowerforyou:

    Yep - its all about context and individual circumstances.

    I do not eat like that all the time (and at was 11 scoops - I had beaten SSs record by 2 so left the 12th one...coz moderation..:wink:) and I am at a healthy BF% and was very very active during the week of copious amounts of ice-cream, pop-tarts, chocolate, cheesey goodness and other yummy stuff. If someone had chosen to make a 'school me' about my eating..well, it would not go well...
  • pixelatedsun
    pixelatedsun Posts: 165 Member
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  • Gingerspice45
    Gingerspice45 Posts: 137 Member
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    If your goal is to eat clean or something like that then your right but otherwise I don't think it is a bad thing if you have "bad" stuff in moderation. It really depends on what that person's goals are.
  • Ang108
    Ang108 Posts: 1,711 Member
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    I have absolutely no problems with all the food you mention.
    I do on occasion say something if a person eats nothing but fast food ( which by itself is their choice only ) and complain that they are constantly way over in calories, bloated, constantly need sweet stuff after fast food or are always way off with their macros.
    However what really gets to me are all those people who slap each other on their virtual backs when someone eats at a much more than healthy deficit. Ideally we all would eat our suggested calories, because there is no real merit in eating way less....or when someone ( as it has happened to me ) praised me for " excellent " logging.........even though I only had logged quick calories, because I was traveling. It makes me think that many people just post something to post.
    I prefer for people to not say anything at all before getting generic support and applause.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    If I have sweeties or pastry I'm not falling off the wagon, I'm just sweetening up the wagon.

    Hey sugar!!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    OP, please to FR me.

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  • Gingerspice45
    Gingerspice45 Posts: 137 Member
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    my diary is lots of pizza, beer, chocolate, etc. too :drinker:
  • pixelatedsun
    pixelatedsun Posts: 165 Member
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  • Kevalicious99
    Kevalicious99 Posts: 1,131 Member
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    This is a bit of a problem around here.

    Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

    Honestly .. I think we are all adults here and we probably have all been around the block, so people are well aware if they did not have a good day. We do not need someone to "rub it in our faces" so to speak.

    However .. if you saw someone doing the so called bad things .. for an extended period of time, then maybe depending on the relationship ... that may be an option. But typically .. probably not a good idea.

    Myself .. I did the deficit thing and lost the weight .. and looked like **** and then gained 1/3rd of it back. I am much happier because of it .. and I am probably more happy that none of my friends questioned the crazy binges that I did. I haven't logged in probably 4 months but they were probably well aware of what was happening.

    Besides .. they are not really binges if you do them on purpose ?

    So .. sometimes it is just fine to not be critical.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
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    Can't. Breathe. Laughing.


    Edit: had to grab a smaller one. :grumble:
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    SEriously why do you care? Double cheeseburger is a solid 24 grams of protein and deliciously satisfying. It fits in my macros. But I don't keep friends around who want to play holier-than-thou with my food diary. Just sayin'

    Only 24 grams of protein in your double cheeseburger? Is this white castles of sumpthin? If it's not whitey's you need to find a spot that's less stingy with the beef
  • _John_
    _John_ Posts: 8,642 Member
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  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    My diary isn't pretty today. It's not a regular occurrence so I'm not concerned. I would not take well to being "schooled" about it. You probably mean well, but not everyone wants that kind of feedback. Feedback given should be based on the goals of the person receiving the advice.
  • Skateboarderfan
    Skateboarderfan Posts: 6 Member
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    well said! Sometimes I feel a little afraid to post what I eat because I remember that there actually are people out there judging. But I post my diary for me and to help others and so that I can learn from my mistakes and make better choices. I like having the support of friends on here and I would not want someone telling me to cool it when I pig out on pizza, cake and ice cream. I focus on the positive things. I only make positive comments on the achievements of others. And would never point out to someone where they went wrong. MFP doesn't point out our mistakes. It only points out our successes for a reason. MFP friends and MFP wants us to stay motivated and achieve our goals, not by making us feel like screw-ups, but by making us recognize our healthy choices so that we can learn to make better decisions for ourselves in the long run. It's really not about the entire pizza you ate today, it's about what you do before and after that ends up making the difference anyway.

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