Congratulating MFP friends who make bad choices

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  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    This is why my diary is closed.

    This is (one of the reasons) why my diary is open.
  • otter090812
    otter090812 Posts: 380 Member
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    If my MFP friend eats a fast food meal once in a while but stays roughly at their target calories I will congratulate them - they are losing weight their way, and so long as they're eating enough to meet their nutritional needs, good on them.

    If they have a rough day and go way over, but are honest with themselves and others about what they ate then I will tell them they logged well, congratulate them for their honesty, and encourage them to have a different day tomorrow - they know they went over and they don't need me giving them a hard time over it.

    If a friend regularly eats less nutritionally valuable foods but has a day with some fruit and veg in then I will congratulate them on including fruit and veg in their meals. That's progress.

    And if they have a diary that looks really tasty, I will say so too, even if it includes...<gasp> pizza!

    None of my friends need or want someone to kick them when they're down, and if they want an in-depth, critical analysis of their diary then I will wait for them to ask for it. I hope for the same treatment from them, and I will not take kindly to being shouted out every time I eat pizza.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    OP, rather that commenting on the diaries of others, eat more veggies. Seriously.
  • beachgirl172723
    beachgirl172723 Posts: 151 Member
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    No.
  • FitFroglet
    FitFroglet Posts: 219 Member
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    I think learning to have a healthy relationship with food (including fast food, chocolate, etc) is an important part of making their changes stick.
    So if I see someone having fast food, but it fits into their day then I see that as a positive step for them to have taken.
    Also I see that they've noted it down rather than feeling 'OMG Bad food - can't let anyone see that I've eaten that' then I feel that it's also positive behaviour.
    Learning to eat 'all the foods' in a way that doesn't reverse our progress and doesn't consume us with guilt is great and to be congratulated.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,932 Member
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    We're all here for the same reasons, to be judgmental of our friends' food choices.

    Wait, that's not it . . .
  • TheKeithEllis
    TheKeithEllis Posts: 155 Member
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    If you eat it, log it...
    If it ain't 'healthy', so what...
    If your calorie total for the day is there or thereabouts... Pat yourself on the back...
    We're all in this together peoples. :)
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    In
    because this is incredible.:laugh:
  • Snip8241
    Snip8241 Posts: 767 Member
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    first of all, my diary is open to my friends for meal inspiration and ideas, not so they can judge me aloud about how i choose to fill my calorie goal.

    second, i am willing to answer questions or offer advice to queries my friends post, but not to offer advice that they didnt ask for about what they should eat. that would make me one damn annoying friend.


    This...this...and this!!!
  • JenniDaisy
    JenniDaisy Posts: 526 Member
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    Do you know what was a bad choice?

    This thread.


    Woo, yeah, go you!
  • _Terrapin_
    _Terrapin_ Posts: 4,302 Member
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    This is a bit of a problem around here.

    Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

    We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

    Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

    It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

    Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all :)

    OP- - -you want me to write to a friend they 'have fallen off the wagon' due to their food choices? Are you being serious? If they eat McDonald's or a slice of pizza is bad(yeah another day of labeling foods) I personally think you need to evaluate what you want to accomplish. If your friends read this and think this is what makes sense then have at it. If someone told me to make better choices if I had pizza we'd probably have a conversation of what makes sense for my diary and what I want from them. If you are concerned, maybe start with yourself and stop demonizing a food type, a certain company, etc. Maybe I sound grumpy, but at least I can accept people as they are, not how I think they ought to be.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,019 Member
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    OP I'm not getting why saying "yummy day" is bad even if the day was way over calories and lots of junk food - I mean, it was yummy, wasnt it.
    That wouldnt be a false post by a friend.

    Anyway, Im another one who thinks pizza, Mcdonalds, whatever food you fancy, can be part of a balanced diet and part of a weight loss plan.......

    I dont agree that people want or need to be scolded if their diary includes such things.
  • George_Baileys_Ghost
    George_Baileys_Ghost Posts: 1,524 Member
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    This is why I come to MFP every day...

    ...the rational, well measured, not overly reactionary discussion.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Actually, I will keep doing that... because it's worth congratulating someone who can eat things in moderation.
  • Nige_Gsy
    Nige_Gsy Posts: 163 Member
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    This is a bit of a problem around here.

    Too many times I see a diary full of McDonalds, and other junk, sweeties and pastries and so called "friends" like the diary and say things like "Great Logging!", "Well done!", or "Yummy day!".

    We are all here to encourage each other to become healthier. If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them. Maybe they are letting old ways creep back in without realising it?

    Do your friends a favour and let them know that they are going wrong. I would expect the same for the rest of my friends on MFP. Be hard on me if you see a slice of Pizza or a McDonalds happy meal on my diary!

    It's time to stop blindly congratulating people on making bad choices that can ultimately lead to lower quality of life and ultimately, death!

    Edit: I know I sound grumpy and normally I am not. Just concerned that's all :)

    I fail to see an issue with an occasional happy meal or slice of pizza if the rest of one's diet is nutritionally sound and within the correct calories. It is that sort of extreme, of cutting out all such things, that often leads people to failure. Personally, I am not that big on McDonalds and pizza, but many here have lost a lot of weight, become healthier and got to low bodyfat levels while eating ice cream, pizza and McDonalds, because they ensure that they meet their other nutritional requirements.

    Absolutely right ... If they're under target but with processed food that's fine because within target is the aim, learning "better choices" is often a secondary achievement that come from staying within target. Let's face it, target hitting is hard if all you eat is "junk food".

    So, for me, an occasional "treat" is absolutely fine, and will not make me get all Big Brother!
  • katevarner
    katevarner Posts: 884 Member
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    I don't comment on food diaries anymore for this very reason. Not gonna preach unless someone specifically asks me for advice, but I don't ever "like" or comment on diary completion, under or over, and I don't even look at what people are eating anymore to help me resist the urge to say WTF. I'm on my own journey, still trying to figure out what is best for me. I don't really know anyone well enough to say what's best for you, at least no one on MFP. I save that advice for family members.
  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
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    Disagree...not everyone is on here to because a fitness junkie or health nut. Some people are on here simply to lose weight and don't care about the rest. That's their choice and they're welcome to it. If they're going over their calorie goal every day, then I might comment, but other than that, McD it up!
  • mave34
    mave34 Posts: 109 Member
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    I tend to be more hard on myself for little things like grabbing a slice of pizza for supper and my friends are quick to say...hey no big deal, log and move on. So for me, it's opposite, I personally feel I could potentially develop an unhealthy relationship with food if it wasn't for my friends saying "hey get over it, it's not the end of the world' If I was grabbing a mcChicken every day on my way home from work then I would hope someone would point that out too as a negative. (I refuse to eat Mcdonalds but occationally will hit up A&W) There has to be a realistic balance. It's life and it's living within a balance that is proper portions and a little bit of give and take on what we need and enjoy.

    Everyone is different and what works for some may not work for others. I would hope my friends support what works for me and I love that they cheer me on and give me a virtual slap when I feel like I had a bad day. For me it's motivating and I can pick and choose my friends here just like I would in the real world and so I would recommend if you haven't already, find a group of people who are as strict as you and share your views of what you should and shouldn't consume. JMO
  • wyattj99
    wyattj99 Posts: 454 Member
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    I have had a few friends congrats me even on a bad day...it doesn't help. It just means to me they are not looking at my log.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    If your MFP friend is falling off the wagon, it is your job to remind them that they are making a choice that is bad for them.

    Nope. My job is to write well and edit/proofread for others when asked. Sometimes I do other things, but I get paid for them.

    I do not get paid to critique anyone's eating habits.

    I am happy to do so if asked, and ONLY if asked.

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