Pooping at work

Timorous_Beastie

I love the idea of pooping at work. "I'm getting PAID to POOP!"

But I can rarely poo anywhere by my home base, unless it's an urgent, emergency situation.

Most of my jobs had a single toilet bathroom, not a multi-stall deal, so stealth wasn't necessary.

ShibaEars

I'd prefer to do my business at home, but if I must go at work I will wait until the bathroom is empty. There are only 2 stalls, and there aren't many female office staff, so it's usually not an issue.

There is one woman here that regularly goes at work, and she's in there for a good 20-25 minutes. She carries her iPad in, so you know she means business. And I avoid the bathroom for at least an hour after she's been in there, because it's awful. Oh, did I mention that she doesn't bathe regularly, so on top of poop smell, there's unclean lady parts smell in there too. :noway: It seriously makes me want to vomit.

vidoardes

I work in an all male office, so crapping get announced loud and proud

WhatAnAss

This is something I hate to do. I'm like a stealthy ninja when I poop at work. I'll blow my nose and close the feminine napkin tin loudly and all sort of other stuff so people wont know what I'm really up to. And I will NOT leave that stall until I know the coast is clear.

I have one lady at work who just lets it all out loudly then walks out of the stall like a champ. She is known around the office as Barbara poo-poo.

Any other ninja poopers? Or do you just not GAF?

If your coworkers are anything like mine they will look at your feet. We do the same thing for people that dont wash their hands. There are also those that courtesy flush every two seconds.

jacques57

You office working stiffs are spoiled. How about a nice port-a-potty on a construction site, or even better the 6-seat outhouse with no dividers at all at one jobsite in Alaska (where the men are men and the women are too!). Stealth poopers have a problem. The can is the one place on earth it is OK to make those kinds of noises. My only peeve is when it is obvious someone had chili or asparagus (or worse, asparagus chili) for their last meal.

Joannah700

Poo-Pouri

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

Can't watch youtube at work - but I own poo-pouri. I bought it as a gag gift one year for all my sisters.

It really works, and strangely enough - it smells like fruit loops.

dMonster01

This is something I hate to do. I'm like a stealthy ninja when I poop at work. I'll blow my nose and close the feminine napkin tin loudly and all sort of other stuff so people wont know what I'm really up to. And I will NOT leave that stall until I know the coast is clear.

I have one lady at work who just lets it all out loudly then walks out of the stall like a champ. She is known around the office as Barbara poo-poo.

Any other ninja poopers? Or do you just not GAF?

If your coworkers are anything like mine they will look at your feet. We do the same thing for people that dont wash their hands. There are also those that courtesy flush every two seconds.

I hide my feet too.

rjmudlax13

I do all my pooping at work because ....FREE TP!!

SuperVixen2B

I just hate it when someone else in the bathroom is a Poop Ghost. That's when the person tries to pretend like they're not even there anytime someone else is in the bathroom. They get really quiet, don't move, and try to hold it in until you leave. The problem is that you totally know that they're there because they aren't invisible and no one can be that quiet. That means that the other person is just awkwardly trying to go about their potty business like they don't see your shoes there under the stall. Plus, sometimes you don't see the shoes and just hear a random noise that scares the poo out of you (literally?).

What if person number two also has to go number two? What then? Does the first person continue to Poop Ghost the whole time? That is so uncomfortable. How am I supposed to go with you going all Moaning Myrtle on me in the next stall? I mean, really.

Poop Ghost has dibs. If you have to pee, make it snappy, wash your hands and GTFO. If you've got to go #2, give up, GTFO and give 'em 30 before trying again. If it can't wait...break the ice.

capnrus789

Getting paid to drop a deuce? I try every damn day.

whovian67

We call this chick MaryJane at work.. she always blows up the bathroom... twice a day....it makes you want to hurl... I wan tto yell at her: "Can't you POOP at HOME.. EVER?????" PLUS she is very obese and smells like she doesnt wash the netherlands..... if you know what I mean...

I dont usually feel the need to poop at work.... I am a morning person... is that too much info????

cmcollins001

Poo-Pouri

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

Can't watch youtube at work - but I own poo-pouri. I bought it as a gag gift one year for all my sisters.

It really works, and strangely enough - it smells like fruit loops.

wgaue

When you gotta go, you gotta go. If I have a "pain" hit me, I have to find a bathroom, and fast. If anybody is in there, I do apoligize

EmilyJackCO

I do all my pooping at work because ....FREE TP!!

Seriously. You never know how much TP you go through til you work at home full time.

JenAndSome

We have our restrooms and then the public restrooms. You always know when a co-worker goes to the public restrooms what they are up to. To be fair, though, our restroom is just off the kitchen, and that would just be too much.

redheaddee

A co-worker shared with me yesterday (because I walked into her office and she had JUST farted) that there is a product called Just One Drop that, as she put it, will allow you to do "everything you need to do and walk away clean & fresh".

Apparently it is eucalyptus oil. You put a drop in the toilet pre-poop and it keeps the room fresh post-poop.

*Sigh* The *kitten* we talk about around here.

FitGal4ever42

I don't poop.. I am a girl... :noway:

But I also have a Barbara poo poo here at work.. but her 1st name is Cheryl... no shame.. no shame.. If I walk in and know she is in there.. I immediately walk out. I don't care if I am crossing my legs.. I wait til the coast is clear. It's loud .. stinky... ewwww.

AglaeaC

You gotta do what you gotta do.

In the words of my favorite author, Everyone Poops.

As for me, my weird bathroom pet peeve is when someone gets in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there are others open. How about if we don't do our business like 5 inches from each other?

This is particularly annoying at airports with a bazillion stalls in a row. You just HAD to pick the one next to mine? When I know for a fact that most other ones were empty... Thanks, made my day.

seltzermint555

At my current office we just have one HUGE, locked-door, disabled-accessible stall for each gender in the main office, so I share it with the only other female employee. It's always freezing in there with good ventilation and nice smelly soap. So even though I do prefer to go at home, I have no issues about pooping at work when I have to.

In the past though...holy moly...I worked in an office with just gigantic restrooms with 10-12 stalls in each one, and there was one coworker in particular who felt the need to monitor everyone's bathroom visits and come into the restroom and talk or gossip with other ladies while they did their business (she considered me her BFF so it was even worse for me). So strange. She would even say to me, "Are you pooping?" and cackle with laughter. So of course that made it so I COULD NOT poop at work for a very long time. I usually managed to go on my lunch break if necessary (at home or in a restaurant restroom) but more than a few times I would have the urge to go in the afternoon and actually get in my car and drive SEVERAL miles to a truck stop (!!) to do my business. We had an off-site storage unit located across from the truck stop so I pretended to need a file from the storage unit. I was actually paid mileage for my poop trips LOL, a few times I took the company car.

AglaeaC

Poo-Pouri

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY

This one's great.

fbmandy55

2 employees and 2 bathrooms in separate rooms, on separate sides of the building. :bigsmile:

This only sucks on days when we have a big meeting or class and we can't use the training room toilet. This also happens to be the only time I NEED to poo at work.

Joannah700

A co-worker shared with me yesterday (because I walked into her office and she had JUST farted) that there is a product called Just One Drop that, as she put it, will allow you to do "everything you need to do and walk away clean & fresh".

Apparently it is eucalyptus oil. You put a drop in the toilet pre-poop and it keeps the room fresh post-poop.

*Sigh* The *kitten* we talk about around here.

Poo-pouri is the same. It creates some oil 'shield' that is supposed to trap any stinkiness from escaping. I imagine you could create your own with some essential oils.

nilbogger

Eff anyone who's going to give me the side-eye for pooping at work. It's a TOILET. I have biological functions like everyone else. How can you expect me NOT to poop in there?

BlueBombers

Yup, make sure the bathroom is completely empty before I do my business.

BlueBombers

This morning, I was in there so long that the auto lights turned off. I was pooping at work...in the dark.

^ That is so awesome!

Mikkimeow

I work in Safety at an Asphalt company, so unfortunately poop is common. Many times a day I will hear the guys go, "I gotta take a *kitten*!" And come out ten minutes later, having destroyed the whole place. My office is only two rooms down from the bathroom, and I curse myself every day for getting into this industry.

I am a nervous poo-er, so I make myself wait until I can drive home on lunch and comfortably do my business or I will muscle through until the end of the day.

da_bears1008

I haz sadz if i don't poop at work.

RabbitLost

I used to measure the time by how many screens of Angry Birds I could clear. Then one time my legs went numb and I could barely walk out. Now I just read the forums on MFP.

srslybritt

You gotta do what you gotta do.

In the words of my favorite author, Everyone Poops.

As for me, my weird bathroom pet peeve is when someone gets in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there are others open. How about if we don't do our business like 5 inches from each other?

This is particularly annoying at airports with a bazillion stalls in a row. You just HAD to pick the one next to mine? When I know for a fact that most other ones were empty... Thanks, made my day.

Yep.

SunofaBeach14

Thanks for the reminder. Off to powder