Pooping at work

12346

Replies

  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I definitely feel awesome- thank you- it's a good friday afternoon for sure.

    Steak for dinner
    Sushi for lunch.

    so good.

    so very good.
  • starting weight 160
    ending weigh 158.5

    life is good.

    You didn't say if you changed pants size?
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I take my best selfies while pooping. Hard to get that certain care free expression any other way.

    I may have been doing that in one of my pictures. :bigsmile:
  • I'm sure everyone has names for you too...

    I take ****s all day at work, and before work and after work. I'm a well-oiled machine.
  • You should totally live it up. I enjoy it. Getting paid to poop is one of the best feelings a person can have. lol
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    starting weight 160
    ending weigh 158.5

    life is good.

    You didn't say if you changed pants size?

    Well I didn't- but I was kind of pushing these currently just because I had a fairly large sushi lunch- so the afternoon journey to the porcelain mecca mostly made room to fit back into these. ;) plus stretch pants- they kind of a size "ranges" rather than an exact- it's like yoga pants- for professionals.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    You gotta do what you gotta do.

    In the words of my favorite author, Everyone Poops.

    As for me, my weird bathroom pet peeve is when someone gets in the stall RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there are others open. How about if we don't do our business like 5 inches from each other?
    ^This. Just get it done. Why are you bothering? I mean it's one thing to have explosive diarrhea at work and other to do a sensible poop. No grunts or anything.

    Sheesh, I've had enough run ins with the poop standoff. It's completely insane there can be 3 women waiting to poop in one bathroom, waiting for the others to go, them, waiting for the rest to go... That's the best time to come it and just let 'er rip - let all those other women be jealous!
  • waltcote
    waltcote Posts: 372 Member
    I work in town driving from place to place for the water dept. Some times bathroom stops take careful planning and stealth peeing. Luckily i work in the same part of town so I designated poop stops that I know are fairly clean but sometimes the body has it's own mind and once in a while the nearest portalet on a construction site is the best option. Alos I keep a spare empty cup to pee in while hiding behind my passenger door at the roadside. :blushing:
  • waltcote
    waltcote Posts: 372 Member
    A union motto is don't sweat on their time or poop on your time! :bigsmile:
  • waltcote
    waltcote Posts: 372 Member
    Of course teh best place to poop is in the great outdoors! Just you and your shovel!! :huh:
  • Thewatcher_66
    Thewatcher_66 Posts: 1,643 Member
    Just go in, do it, take care of business and leave. No need to over analyze the situation.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    Just go in, do it, take care of business and leave. No need to over analyze the situation.

    But you don't understand, it'is pooping it is full of complexities!

    IDK why but there is nothing that people are more OCD about than pooping.
  • LizN63
    LizN63 Posts: 129 Member
    Speaking of pooping at work has anyone heard of the 'Caganer', the shepherd in a traditional Spanish nativity scene who curls one out as part of the scene?

    I didn't believe it at first, but it is really a thing. No poo pourri in those days.
  • Thewatcher_66
    Thewatcher_66 Posts: 1,643 Member
    Where I work, there's always that one guy who is pooping the stall that insists on talking on his cell phone. some guy was in there grunting and carrying on but still managed to complain to his mechanic about his car repairs. I mean, can't it wait! lol.
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
    After reading this thread I now feel I'm missing out on getting paid to poop at work. Being a clockwork morning pooper it rarely happens.
  • Joannah700
    Joannah700 Posts: 2,665 Member
    Re: work bathrooms there is one thing that bugs me more than phone conversations... toilet seat covers.

    I appreciate toilet seat covers, especially after traveling and going to places without them.

    But why are toilet seat covers only made to cover 70% of the toilet? I don't get it. Toilets are standard sized. It's not like they surprised the manufacturers and came up with an entirely new size.

    But still...you end up laying a toilet seat cover horizontally and vertically every time.
  • rayfu75
    rayfu75 Posts: 209 Member
    Just dropped a healthy duece at work after the restrooms were cleaned. Benefit of working night shift.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    All those lost productivity hours pooping on company time for shame
  • territhefrog
    territhefrog Posts: 1,134 Member
    I should not have been reading this while pooping at work. I'm sitting on the toilet at work laughing my butt off and my boss walks in and asked what's so funny. I couldn't think of anything to tell her so I said that I sneezed and farted at the same time. Thankfully, she laughed and called me a nut.
  • hajenkatt
    hajenkatt Posts: 331 Member
    Pooping at work is WAY better than pooping at home because of the awesome power flushing that goes on. Every place I have ever worked has the high-power, high-flow toilet that sucks it all down in one go. At home, with most places going to low-flow toilets, it's nerve-wracking watch the water level rise and rise. Then you start praying to the toilet gods please, please, please don't get backed up. Work toilet? WHOOSH it's gone.
  • abadvat
    abadvat Posts: 1,241 Member
    Rave party in the cubbicle for me and if someone is on his way in when i am on my way out I recomend not to most of the times :bigsmile:
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 846 Member
    I can't understand when someone only does it at home, what DO YOU DO when it starts popping it's head out?.

    I mean, when I's got to go, I's got to go, you know?

    If the toilets have other people around I just do a little landing pad of tissue in the bowl first & my offerings land softly & soundlessly onto that. If I'm alone, I just let it plop.
  • HunterKiller
    HunterKiller Posts: 361 Member
    I regularly chop off bungles fingers at work.
  • JeffInJax
    JeffInJax Posts: 232 Member
    I worried the first few days of working in an office long ago, then walked by the bathroom and heard world war 3...last time i ever cared.
  • territhefrog
    territhefrog Posts: 1,134 Member
    OMG!!! Heard World War 3! I'm dying over here!!!!
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    Sometimes I hear a guy working really hard, grunting, groaning and you know he's pushing so hard there's veins popping, I hear all kinds of anal explosions and the place reeks...I often have high hopes that he produced enough in the end to make it all worth while. Sometimes when they finally flush, I just want to stand up and applaud all the hard work.
  • DannehBoyy
    DannehBoyy Posts: 546 Member
    Sometimes I hear a guy working really hard, grunting, groaning and you know he's pushing so hard there's veins popping, I hear all kinds of anal explosions and the place reeks...I often have high hopes that he produced enough in the end to make it all worth while. Sometimes when they finally flush, I just want to stand up and applaud all the hard work.

    hahah :laugh: You should gather a group outside the cubicle to give him a round of applause :happy:
  • BlueBombers
    BlueBombers Posts: 4,064 Member
    Yes! This thread lives!
  • Sometimes I hear a guy working really hard, grunting, groaning and you know he's pushing so hard there's veins popping, I hear all kinds of anal explosions and the place reeks...I often have high hopes that he produced enough in the end to make it all worth while. Sometimes when they finally flush, I just want to stand up and applaud all the hard work.
    It sucks so badly when you are doing all that straining and pushing and when you clean up and look, there is like one or two little nothings hanging out in there and your all like, "WTF body? I did all that work for that?"

    The bathroom is there so you can poop whenever you need to. It doesn't bug me at all, unless it hits at a really bad time. My only concern is wanting to have some air freshener to spray around the room, but all that really does is make your poo smell like poo scented roses.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    Imagine if you will, a men's room that is connected to the men's locker room which is connected to the small workout area. Now imagine that the end stall, or handicap stall if you will, is the destination you have chosen to take care of your business. As you sit there, you occasionally glance down at your phone...twitter, facebook, MFP, games, or whatever, and occasionally glance up inadvertently because you hear a conversation or someone walking in.

    Now...imagine if you will, sitting there doing your business. You hear conversations going on, you glance up and notice that the space between the stall wall and the stall door looks as thought its a foot wide. This, of course is your imagination, but when you're doing your business behind closed doors, you really don't want people walking over to get a paper towel from the wall to be able to glance in on your moment of "openness".

    Now that I have set the scene, I would like to take you on a small little moment of my life, a horrifying moment if you will, a moment that is etched forever in my mind. I'm sitting there, minding my own business, playing a quick game of something or other on my phone when I hear voices. I causally look up and notice the space between the stall wall and stall door, through it I can see the door to the men's locker room. I don't really pay much attention, even if the door opens you can't see into that room. I halfway listen to the conversation to see if it's anything worth hearing, then I realize it's not, I go back to my game. Just as I start back into swiping this way and tapping that way, I hear the door to the locker room open, I don't look up immediately...at least not until I hear someone start removing paper towels from the dispenser right in front of me.

    What happens next, well, let's just say...was something I totally never expected. I hear someone taking a few paper towels from the dispenser, all the while, carrying on a conversation with other guys in the bathroom. I remember thinking, there is no talking in the men's room...it's a rule! I glance up from my game, and there he is, standing there in nothing but a towel, pulling out paper towel's from the dispenser for whatever reason, carrying on a conversation like he's out in the hallway or in a board room.

    He's in nothing but a towel. Nothing. but. a. towel.

    Now, you're thinking, "So? He's wearing a towel. What's the big deal?"

    The towel...

    was...

    on his head...drying his hair.

    ON. HIS. HEAD!!

    NOTHING. BUT. A. TOWEL. Not 2 towels. 1 towel. 1 towel that is currently being used on his head.

    Now...he's standing right there, at the paper towel dispenser which is RIGHT in front of what seems like a mile wide space.

    Keep in mind, I'm sitting down doing my business. He's standing up.

    Are ya catching on?