Why is MFP so mean??

PRMinx

Then why do it? Why keep opening and responding when it's so frustrating that you feel the need to be mean?

Many time these "mean" people are being honest, straight-forward, or just blunt. Not the same as being mean. Also having different opinions is often interpreted as being mean.

I disagree. I saw one poor person discuss her opinions about sugar this morning and bam 8 or 9 pages of personality disordered evil. A few nights ago someone posted they might have realized they are drinking too much, and page after page of "just work it into your calories. I still drink (burp)" People need fitness for a lot of different reasons: some people are sick, some were never taught a decent relationship with food, or sugar, or alcohol. The OP suggests that the reason we came on here was to learn the truth which she then immediately conflates with accepting abuse. I just wish people would understand that you may prefer your truth administered with a hammer, but others have a right to their path as well. Mean people suck. :flowerforyou:

So, you are saying that different people receive information differently? Kind of like different people give information differently?

Message forums are an outlet for different people with different backgrounds and different opinions to come together to discuss ideas. As you admit, people are here for a variety of different reasons. So, all this said, I don't know how you can generalize all responses to be abusive.

And, for the record, what's wrong with saying just fit alcohol into your macros? That's not mean. That's true. Unless there's a more serious problem, which is not really something anyone here should be addressing with authority.

rachelrb85

WTF is going on in here
????

1. Mean people support thread started
2. Couple people tried to argue against meanies
3. Arguments were de-bunked
4. Continue on with the gifs

Need2Exerc1se

Oh, I'm not saying their isn't a lot of arguing on these points. That's usually when it gets "mean". I'm just saying my limited exerience has been more "don't eat this" posts.

So then I think you would be grateful to the MFP-ers who join the discussion to debunk whatever the myth of the day is, no?

I really don't know how to respond to that because I'm not sure what you mean.

PRMinx

Oh, I'm not saying their isn't a lot of arguing on these points. That's usually when it gets "mean". I'm just saying my limited exerience has been more "don't eat this" posts.

So then I think you would be grateful to the MFP-ers who join the discussion to debunk whatever the myth of the day is, no?

I really don't know how to respond to that because I'm not sure what you mean.

You mentioned how all the posts you see are "don't eat" posts. From the way you presented that argument, I assume that you don't like the "don't eat" posts. Is this correct?

MissBMazes

Great information thank you!

_HeartsOnFire_

_HeartsOnFire_

sjaplo

Then why do it? Why keep opening and responding when it's so frustrating that you feel the need to be mean?

Many time these "mean" people are being honest, straight-forward, or just blunt. Not the same as being mean. Also having different opinions is often interpreted as being mean.

I disagree. I saw one poor person discuss her opinions about sugar this morning and bam 8 or 9 pages of personality disordered evil. A few nights ago someone posted they might have realized they are drinking too much, and page after page of "just work it into your calories. I still drink (burp)" People need fitness for a lot of different reasons: some people are sick, some were never taught a decent relationship with food, or sugar, or alcohol. The OP suggests that the reason we came on here was to learn the truth which she then immediately conflates with accepting abuse. I just wish people would understand that you may prefer your truth administered with a hammer, but others have a right to their path as well. Mean people suck. :flowerforyou:

This would be exactly the point. You saw a person post their factually incorrect opinion about sugar and the disordered evil arrived to disabuse her of that notion. Now the alternative is for the disordered evil to let chaos reign and allow everyone to post whatever crap Dr OZ and his evil minions are spouting that particualr day, at which point all the gullable people who run from fad diet to fad diet will glom on to the new saviour and all will crash and burn in their "diets" and come on wailing that their doing everything right and they are gaining weight.

As for the alcohol - it's true, you can drink alcohol, in my case beer, daily and "loose" weight. 19lbs and counting thank you very much.

Those who are sick should seek professional help, not advice from an internet forum.

For my money the "mean" ones are those who start their threads with the eqivalent of "don't answer unless you agree with me"

cheers all.:drinker:

_HeartsOnFire_

Then why do it? Why keep opening and responding when it's so frustrating that you feel the need to be mean?

Many time these "mean" people are being honest, straight-forward, or just blunt. Not the same as being mean. Also having different opinions is often interpreted as being mean.

I disagree. I saw one poor person discuss her opinions about sugar this morning and bam 8 or 9 pages of personality disordered evil. A few nights ago someone posted they might have realized they are drinking too much, and page after page of "just work it into your calories. I still drink (burp)" People need fitness for a lot of different reasons: some people are sick, some were never taught a decent relationship with food, or sugar, or alcohol. The OP suggests that the reason we came on here was to learn the truth which she then immediately conflates with accepting abuse. I just wish people would understand that you may prefer your truth administered with a hammer, but others have a right to their path as well. Mean people suck. :flowerforyou:

Raclex

^^This. Love this.

Mrs_Marvel

Because we're hungry...

disneygallagirl

Well, for one thing we're hungry and that makes us cranky.

For another many of the ladies here seem to hang with this shady dude named TOM. He seems to put them in a bad mood.

Thank you for that wonderful laugh!

Yup that cracked me up :laugh:

_HeartsOnFire_

Then why do it? Why keep opening and responding when it's so frustrating that you feel the need to be mean?

Many time these "mean" people are being honest, straight-forward, or just blunt. Not the same as being mean. Also having different opinions is often interpreted as being mean.

I disagree. I saw one poor person discuss her opinions about sugar this morning and bam 8 or 9 pages of personality disordered evil. A few nights ago someone posted they might have realized they are drinking too much, and page after page of "just work it into your calories. I still drink (burp)" People need fitness for a lot of different reasons: some people are sick, some were never taught a decent relationship with food, or sugar, or alcohol. The OP suggests that the reason we came on here was to learn the truth which she then immediately conflates with accepting abuse. I just wish people would understand that you may prefer your truth administered with a hammer, but others have a right to their path as well. Mean people suck. :flowerforyou:

This would be exactly the point. You saw a person post their factually incorrect opinion about sugar and the disordered evil arrived to disabuse her of that notion. Now the alternative is for the disordered evil to let chaos reign and allow everyone to post whatever crap Dr OZ and his evil minions are spouting that particualr day, at which point all the gullable people who run from fad diet to fad diet will glom on to the new saviour and all will crash and burn in their "diets" and come on wailing that their doing everything right and they are gaining weight.

As for the alcohol - it's true, you can drink alcohol, in my case beer, daily and "loose" weight. 19lbs and counting thank you very much.

Those who are sick should seek professional help, not advice from an internet forum.

For my money the "mean" ones are those who start their threads with the eqivalent of "don't answer unless you agree with me"

cheers all.:drinker:

Need2Exerc1se

Oh, I'm not saying their isn't a lot of arguing on these points. That's usually when it gets "mean". I'm just saying my limited exerience has been more "don't eat this" posts.

So then I think you would be grateful to the MFP-ers who join the discussion to debunk whatever the myth of the day is, no?

I really don't know how to respond to that because I'm not sure what you mean.

You mentioned how all the posts you see are "don't eat" posts. From the way you presented that argument, I assume that you don't like the "don't eat" posts. Is this correct?

I would like to say yes, but since I keep reading and responding to them I suppose I'd be lying.

angf0679

Marking so I can read more when I get home from work (and my run)

JoRocka

Then why do it? Why keep opening and responding when it's so frustrating that you feel the need to be mean?

Many time these "mean" people are being honest, straight-forward, or just blunt. Not the same as being mean. Also having different opinions is often interpreted as being mean.

I disagree. I saw one poor person discuss her opinions about sugar this morning and bam 8 or 9 pages of personality disordered evil. A few nights ago someone posted they might have realized they are drinking too much, and page after page of "just work it into your calories. I still drink (burp)" People need fitness for a lot of different reasons: some people are sick, some were never taught a decent relationship with food, or sugar, or alcohol. The OP suggests that the reason we came on here was to learn the truth which she then immediately conflates with accepting abuse. I just wish people would understand that you may prefer your truth administered with a hammer, but others have a right to their path as well. Mean people suck. :flowerforyou:

mehhhhh- mean people have their place- I qualify as "mean" but I'm just sarcastic and generally blatently honest.

They have their place. Plus they tend to be funnier people.



secondly -sugar girl's thread? really mean people thread over that? She was wrong. You can't just flat out saying something is BAD on a chemical/long term health level is kind of a big deal- and it needs to be addressed- that's not "just discussing an opinion"

her post was 100% sold as FACT. had she actually been wanting to discuss it- it might have turned out differently.

She should have taken her own advice

We must educate ourselves

but ACTUALLY educate- yourself rather than just grasping into hyperspace random things that are opinions and not facts or proven trend lines.

PrizePopple

In way too late to the party. Damn volunteering and my kids school. :grumble: :laugh:

AmyRhubarb

i think the bottom line is that a forum is a poor place to go to learn things, particularly on a subject like fitness where there typically isn't one clear cut answer on many aspects.

if people went into it understanding that all they really are going to get is opinions, maybe they would take those opinions less personally.

I disagree - the absolute best advice I've received has been right here on the MFP forums. And I have great success with the information I have chosen to follow, and I continue to pass along what I have learned when other people ask questions. Do I believe or try every little thing I've read here? Of course not. I read, consider, follow up with, compare to other info, and it pretty much came down to finding people here who have had the sort of success I was looking for, to find what they were doing, and to apply it to my own plan. The best advice usually had links to other sites for more information, or books to read, or workout programs to check out.

Whatever - I never felt insulted, mistreated, offended by any "mean" people. Love this place and have logged consistently for just over 3 years now because it's so awesome.

I do often see people misinterpret a straight answer as mean-spirited. Too many aren't really looking for good advice, but rather affirmation from others on whatever diet, cleanse, or plan they are bent on trying. Anyone who says it's not a good idea and offers an alternative is considered mean and rude.

socalkay

There's a way to have a discussion and present your point of view and/or information without being rude and unkind. The fact that this keeps coming up is an indication that there's a consistent pattern of behavior that hurts/alienates people, rather than helps them use the site in a healthy manner. When you drive some newbie from the site, you aren't helping them.

1Cor1510

In to read later after I count my wine for the evening into my calories for the day :drinker:

rachelrb85

In way too late to the party. Damn volunteering and my kids school. :grumble: :laugh:

Not too late... welcome to the party

_HeartsOnFire_

There's a way to have a discussion and present your point of view and/or information without being rude and unkind. The fact that this keeps coming up is an indication that there's a consistent pattern of behavior that hurts/alienates people, rather than helps them use the site in a healthy manner. When you drive some newbie from the site, you aren't helping them.

This isn't a mean people thread. Curious, did you read the OP?

RET68

I'm a newbie to the forums and most of the time when I've wanted to ask a question or even comment on something I'm discouraged because some of the forums I have read some people are mean and nasty.

I have no problem when someone posts a link or corrects someone but it seems most of those posts take a turn somewhere and just become personal attacks. Yep I'm a sensitive sally and no I don't like negativity. I think if someone posts something that isn't true then make a post pointing out why it's wrong and leave it at that. Does it really need to go on for 9 pages with people making fun of everyone else and putting people down. If the OP is looking for an argument then why keep responding if you have already made your point? Don't feed into the misinformation of the OP and don't turn everything into a personal attack when they don't agree with you. If they follow bad advice it only hinders their weight loss.

You are completely correct. I don't like negativity either, and I don't think you need to call yourself sensitive sally. Others on here just clearly get off putting people down. It's like schoolyard bullies: really disheartening. And, it doesn't need to be like this. :ohwell:

trogalicious

There's a way to have a discussion and present your point of view and/or information without being rude and unkind. The fact that this keeps coming up is an indication that there's a consistent pattern of behavior that hurts/alienates people, rather than helps them use the site in a healthy manner. When you drive some newbie from the site, you aren't helping them.

This isn't a mean people thread. Curious, did you read the OP?

_HeartsOnFire_

I'm a newbie to the forums and most of the time when I've wanted to ask a question or even comment on something I'm discouraged because some of the forums I have read some people are mean and nasty.

I have no problem when someone posts a link or corrects someone but it seems most of those posts take a turn somewhere and just become personal attacks. Yep I'm a sensitive sally and no I don't like negativity. I think if someone posts something that isn't true then make a post pointing out why it's wrong and leave it at that. Does it really need to go on for 9 pages with people making fun of everyone else and putting people down. If the OP is looking for an argument then why keep responding if you have already made your point? Don't feed into the misinformation of the OP and don't turn everything into a personal attack when they don't agree with you. If they follow bad advice it only hinders their weight loss.

You are completely correct. I don't like negativity either, and I don't think you need to call yourself sensitive sally. Others on here just clearly get off putting people down. It's like schoolyard bullies: really disheartening. And, it doesn't need to be like this. :ohwell:

The whole thing boils down to perception though...now yes there are some rude people and those people should be called out/addressed in the thread they are happening in...but I could write one sentence and each person could interpret it a different way. Some may think it's not delivered the way they would like it, some may like it, some may love it, and some may just look at it for what it is, one persons opinion/experience.

Monkey_Business

PRMinx

Oh, I'm not saying their isn't a lot of arguing on these points. That's usually when it gets "mean". I'm just saying my limited exerience has been more "don't eat this" posts.

So then I think you would be grateful to the MFP-ers who join the discussion to debunk whatever the myth of the day is, no?

I really don't know how to respond to that because I'm not sure what you mean.

You mentioned how all the posts you see are "don't eat" posts. From the way you presented that argument, I assume that you don't like the "don't eat" posts. Is this correct?

I would like to say yes, but since I keep reading and responding to them I suppose I'd be lying.

Well, the "mean" people generally go to those threads to dispel whatever kind of stupid diet myth is being touted as the next miracle fat melting cure. It's only when the OP gets defensive over the honesty that things go south (if you can even call it that).

I, for one, have learned a lot from the so-called "mean" people here. I'm also grateful that they jump into those threads to call out the stupidity.

diannethegeek

Then why do it? Why keep opening and responding when it's so frustrating that you feel the need to be mean?

Many time these "mean" people are being honest, straight-forward, or just blunt. Not the same as being mean. Also having different opinions is often interpreted as being mean.

I disagree. I saw one poor person discuss her opinions about sugar this morning and bam 8 or 9 pages of personality disordered evil. A few nights ago someone posted they might have realized they are drinking too much, and page after page of "just work it into your calories. I still drink (burp)" People need fitness for a lot of different reasons: some people are sick, some were never taught a decent relationship with food, or sugar, or alcohol. The OP suggests that the reason we came on here was to learn the truth which she then immediately conflates with accepting abuse. I just wish people would understand that you may prefer your truth administered with a hammer, but others have a right to their path as well. Mean people suck. :flowerforyou:

Are we talking about the one this morning who claimed that sugar is an addiction that causes cancer, who then went on to say that we shouldn't eat candy bars that don't grow on trees?

PRMinx

I'm a newbie to the forums and most of the time when I've wanted to ask a question or even comment on something I'm discouraged because some of the forums I have read some people are mean and nasty.

I have no problem when someone posts a link or corrects someone but it seems most of those posts take a turn somewhere and just become personal attacks. Yep I'm a sensitive sally and no I don't like negativity. I think if someone posts something that isn't true then make a post pointing out why it's wrong and leave it at that. Does it really need to go on for 9 pages with people making fun of everyone else and putting people down. If the OP is looking for an argument then why keep responding if you have already made your point? Don't feed into the misinformation of the OP and don't turn everything into a personal attack when they don't agree with you. If they follow bad advice it only hinders their weight loss.

You are completely correct. I don't like negativity either, and I don't think you need to call yourself sensitive sally. Others on here just clearly get off putting people down. It's like schoolyard bullies: really disheartening. And, it doesn't need to be like this. :ohwell:

I would love for you to share an example of someone here "putting someone down" without being provoked.

Or without it being just a little humor. For example, if someone asks for the 1,000 time if Freelee the banana girl is legit, there's going to be some jokes. It's at the expense of Freelee for the most part, not the OP.

daydreams_of_pretty

I don't like negativity either. When I first started coming to this forum, I wondered why people got cranky so fast. It only took me about 2 days to figure out why. Now I kind of look forward to it. I mean, not always. When people ask a serious question or clearly have some sort of issue going on, then it would be awful for people to be mean to them. I don't see that happening. When people come on here and make blanket statements, ask crazy questions, provoke people, argue with those who try to give them good advice, etc., I totally understand why people are "mean" to them. It gets frustrating. These boards can be really great for achieving goals and helping others achieve them. When someone is acting cray cray, it hits a nerve. I think the meanies have their place in patrolling the boards for people who are ruining it for everyone.