Sarcastic Heifer

_HeartsOnFire_

No, no, no...ok, here is the deal. You misunderstand completely. First of all, whoever made the hyberbole dig. I dig it. I dig it MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER DUG ANYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING. Really, it was hilarious.

I believe I made it clear right from the jump that I'm not a touchy feely kind of person. Like, didn't I say that immediately? Yeah, I did. But, allow me to explain since everyone wants to jump my ****.

1. When I said my kids trashed my body, I did not mean that my kids made me fat. I made me fat. Not that it is any of your business but apparently I need to explain because otherwise I'll be thrown to the MFP wolves up in this *****. I mean that my second child caused massive health issues. And then when I went to have the surgery to treat said health issues, I found out I was pregnant with my third. I spent my third pregnancy on complete bedrest. After my third was born, I had a very complicated and scary hysterectomy. By trashed my body, I meant that in the literal sense. So, suck it.

2. My friend who was prescribed adipex DOES have a leg up on me. She has an amphetamine coursing through her veins giving her energy everyday. Can I just go buy some meth? No, no I cannot. I don't care what you say. I openly admit, I have zero will power. I am a mother of three tiny energy thieves and I am tired ALL OF THE TIME. You can tell me that I just have to find the motivation myself. Well, no ****, Sherlock. Why do you think I'm on this site to begin with?

3. I didn't ask for people to give me reassuring lovey messages or advice, did I? I didn't ask for judgement, correct? All I said was, if any other people who just occasionally need a kick in the *kitten* wanna get in on this thing together, let me know. That was it.

*****es be crazy.

In regards to number 2, all I hear are excuses.

^Ditto this. Anybody can buy meth.

QFT!

OP, I wish you the best, but...welcome to the forums. If you come in with a notion that is wrong, you will hear about it. Multiple times.

So, I'm sure this will be seen as combative, but what the hell...who are any of you to decide which of my notions are wrong?

Also, most of the people giving me "advice" are on this site for the same reason I am...you're out of shape. Hey Pot, this is Kettle. You're black. Also, shut up.

Actually, not everyone is on this site for the same reason. I have plenty of friends who are in shape.

Everyone wants instant gratification, however, if you want to keep it off then you'll HAVE to put in the work. The eating less, moving more. Moderation not deprivation. I once took pills to lose weight...guess what a few years later I gained it all back and then some because pills didn't teach me what I needed to learn.

So please, take a breath and realize people are actually trying to just help you. Give you advice on how to lose weight, keep it off for LIFE, not just a couple years.

Also, I'm just gonna put this out there...but do you want to teach your kids that a pill solves everything?

_HeartsOnFire_

Oh no she di'int.

SkepticalOwl

wine and celery??? talk about getting in ur daily serving of fruits and vegetables. i myself prefer rum and diet coke but im not sure either of them fit into a food group. I like ur sarcasm Im sure laughing burns some calories - so thank u for helping me burn that extra 20 calories i needed.

What do you mean? Rum and Diet Coke *are* food groups!

jofjltncb6

No, no, no...ok, here is the deal. You misunderstand completely. First of all, whoever made the hyberbole dig. I dig it. I dig it MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER DUG ANYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING. Really, it was hilarious.

I believe I made it clear right from the jump that I'm not a touchy feely kind of person. Like, didn't I say that immediately? Yeah, I did. But, allow me to explain since everyone wants to jump my ****.

1. When I said my kids trashed my body, I did not mean that my kids made me fat. I made me fat. Not that it is any of your business but apparently I need to explain because otherwise I'll be thrown to the MFP wolves up in this *****. I mean that my second child caused massive health issues. And then when I went to have the surgery to treat said health issues, I found out I was pregnant with my third. I spent my third pregnancy on complete bedrest. After my third was born, I had a very complicated and scary hysterectomy. By trashed my body, I meant that in the literal sense. So, suck it.

2. My friend who was prescribed adipex DOES have a leg up on me. She has an amphetamine coursing through her veins giving her energy everyday. Can I just go buy some meth? No, no I cannot. I don't care what you say. I openly admit, I have zero will power. I am a mother of three tiny energy thieves and I am tired ALL OF THE TIME. You can tell me that I just have to find the motivation myself. Well, no ****, Sherlock. Why do you think I'm on this site to begin with?

3. I didn't ask for people to give me reassuring lovey messages or advice, did I? I didn't ask for judgement, correct? All I said was, if any other people who just occasionally need a kick in the *kitten* wanna get in on this thing together, let me know. That was it.

*****es be crazy.

In regards to number 2, all I hear are excuses.

^Ditto this. Anybody can buy meth.

QFT!

OP, I wish you the best, but...welcome to the forums. If you come in with a notion that is wrong, you will hear about it. Multiple times.

So, I'm sure this will be seen as combative, but what the hell...who are any of you to decide which of my notions are wrong?

Also, most of the people giving me "advice" are on this site for the same reason I am...you're out of shape. Hey Pot, this is Kettle. You're black. Also, shut up.

Have you looked at any of the profiles of the people giving you solid advice? Perhaps clicked through to see some of their before and after pics? Maybe read about the amazing things they're doing now that they couldn't do a few years ago? Their transformations that they accomplished by doing the very thing they're sharing in this thread (and others). If not, it might be worth some time clicking around to see where some of these people are coming from...and clicking through to read some of their past posts that they have made...

...but not me. I'm just a guy who knows a little bit about some stuff but has spent the entirety of his three+ years here just being mean to people for fun. Yeah, that's it...because why else would I, a relatively fit guy, possibly be here, right?

jofjltncb6

Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!

Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

*adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*

As long as we're making all of my childhood dreams come true...

...I want to be able to buy a box of just the marshmallows from Lucky Charms...

...and just the candy sticks from the Lik-m-aid.



Oh, and flying cars. We were all but promised flying cars by now...

...but if I have to choose, give me the marshmallows and candy sticks before the flying car.

Oh jof….

http://www.amazon.com/Discount-Herbals-DH-8-Cereal-Marshmallows/dp/B001PM0KRU

The so-called-just-like-lucky-charms-marshmallows marshmallows I've tried in the past just weren't...but I'm willing to get my hopes up for these...and at *only* $13, how could I pass this up?

Wait. Are these *actually* Lucky Charms marshmallows?!? "Multi Colored Name Brand Product"

Okay, now I'm just a little bit excited.

DanaLash

So, I'm sure this will be seen as combative, but what the hell...who are any of you to decide which of my notions are wrong?

Also, most of the people giving me "advice" are on this site for the same reason I am...you're out of shape. Hey Pot, this is Kettle. You're black. Also, shut up.

You win the internet.

trinatrina1984

Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!

Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

*adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

The 1st image to pop into my mind was someone snorting powdered Doritos- if you did this would it have to be logged?

opus649

This thread is like some kind of Rorschach test for people's insecurities.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

Wait.

Your three kids forced you to eat at a calorie surplus and then continue to eat at a higher maintenance level over an extended period of time? I'm pretty sure children don't actually have this ability.

Maybe OP has The Children of the Corn

_Terrapin_

Wow...are you guys serious with this ****? Here is the deal...I didn't come to YOU asking for advice or getting up in your business. I am perfectly accountable for my own actions. I am fat because I eat like **** and don't exercise. I happen to be snarky and sarcastic. You're super adorable with your trolling, really. Precious, even. Lol.

Is this the super sarcastic side? Checking. . . . .options. . . .gotta have options. . . . .

_HeartsOnFire_

I'm currently on terfamex which is pretty much adipex, only i got this across the border in Mexico without a prescription. I'm excited to try it out.
and of course working out and eating healthy :flowerforyou:

To the advice above....no. No. Nope. No. and no.

And you think it's safe? There's actually reasons things like this are banned in certain countries.

JoelleAnn78

LOL, feel free to send me FR. I dig it. As for the people who are making negative comments...why are you wasting your time? I don't get it. I don't go around reading these posts and thinking, "I disagree, I better let this person know how I feel!"

Weird.

trinatrina1984

I'm currently on terfamex which is pretty much adipex, only i got this across the border in Mexico without a prescription . I'm excited to try it out.
and of course working out and eating healthy :flowerforyou:

This sounds like a fantastic idea

_HeartsOnFire_

I'm currently on terfamex which is pretty much adipex, only i got this across the border in Mexico without a prescription . I'm excited to try it out.
and of course working out and eating healthy :flowerforyou:

This sounds like a fantastic idea

Stop being mean to me.

SonicDeathMonkey80

I'm currently on terfamex which is pretty much adipex, only i got this across the border in Mexico without a prescription. I'm excited to try it out.
and of course working out and eating healthy :flowerforyou:

Working out/eating healthy and Mexican drugs go together like peas and carrots

dbmata

Did anyone read the topic of this thread as Sarcastic Hitler?

I did.

trinatrina1984

I'm currently on terfamex which is pretty much adipex, only i got this across the border in Mexico without a prescription. I'm excited to try it out.
and of course working out and eating healthy :flowerforyou:

Working out/eating healthy and Mexican drugs go together like peas and carrots

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

jofjltncb6

I'm currently on terfamex which is pretty much adipex, only i got this across the border in Mexico without a prescription. I'm excited to try it out.
and of course working out and eating healthy :flowerforyou:

Ah, yes, phentermine hydrochloride.

Now where have I heard of this compound before? Phen...something. Phen...phen...dammit. It's just on the tip of my tongue. Anyhow, I've heard of it before, I'm sure of it.

jofjltncb6

Did anyone read the topic of this thread as Sarcastic Hitler?

I did.

You're the second person to mention this...

...and now I'm worried about both of you.

dbmata

Hah, hey man, my family left germany for a reason...