Sarcastic Heifer

jofjltncb6

Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!

Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

*adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

CupcakeCrusoe

No, no, no...ok, here is the deal. You misunderstand completely. First of all, whoever made the hyberbole dig. I dig it. I dig it MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER DUG ANYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING. Really, it was hilarious.

I believe I made it clear right from the jump that I'm not a touchy feely kind of person. Like, didn't I say that immediately? Yeah, I did. But, allow me to explain since everyone wants to jump my ****.

1. When I said my kids trashed my body, I did not mean that my kids made me fat. I made me fat. Not that it is any of your business but apparently I need to explain because otherwise I'll be thrown to the MFP wolves up in this *****. I mean that my second child caused massive health issues. And then when I went to have the surgery to treat said health issues, I found out I was pregnant with my third. I spent my third pregnancy on complete bedrest. After my third was born, I had a very complicated and scary hysterectomy. By trashed my body, I meant that in the literal sense. So, suck it.

2. My friend who was prescribed adipex DOES have a leg up on me. She has an amphetamine coursing through her veins giving her energy everyday. Can I just go buy some meth? No, no I cannot. I don't care what you say. I openly admit, I have zero will power. I am a mother of three tiny energy thieves and I am tired ALL OF THE TIME. You can tell me that I just have to find the motivation myself. Well, no ****, Sherlock. Why do you think I'm on this site to begin with?

3. I didn't ask for people to give me reassuring lovey messages or advice, did I? I didn't ask for judgement, correct? All I said was, if any other people who just occasionally need a kick in the *kitten* wanna get in on this thing together, let me know. That was it.

*****es be crazy.

In regards to number 2, all I hear are excuses.

^Ditto this. Anybody can buy meth.

QFT!

OP, I wish you the best, but...welcome to the forums. If you come in with a notion that is wrong, you will hear about it. Multiple times.

PRMinx

I think my issue is that I'm an instant gratification kind of person. Like, "Hey, I just ran a mile, I'm gonna go weigh myself...Wait...I didn't lose any weight running that mile?!?! What the hell?!?!"

That's why I'm jealous of the adipex. Because it expedites the process. I want immediate results with minimum work, ya' know?

But medications have side effects that can affect health in other ways. You should be happy you don't have an ailment that requires meds.

To your latter point, you are just going to have to get over it and learn how to enjoy the journey.

MyaPapaya75

If you need friends that can try to help you stay accountable...by maintaining that accountability themselves then feel free to add me....Im kind of a no excuses girl if you eat it then you pay the price and the consequence I really don't want to hear whining about it ...for heavens sake I want cake and crap too most days..lol....as far as the apidex goes let it go...jealousy ruins friendships you should be happy for your friend and her weight loss however she achieves it under a Physicians guidance...for every 10lbs she loses your 5lbs isn't anything to scoff at...people do things differently.....Food will always be around you...EAT what your body needs and treat yourself to what you crave once in a while...don't blame others or use it as a crutch....when you see those Dortioz in the pantry ..go for a 30min walk outside daily and treat yourself to one serving per week for meeting that goal..I wanted to edit to say pills are not an easy thing to be glued to daily I have to take several for medical issues....its not always as easy as crackin open a bottle and taking a pill.....don't wish it..be very happy you can just work out and lose weight

George_Baileys_Ghost

Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!

Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

*adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*

trm68

Hey now,, you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm 68 and do a lite tae bo, a 3 mile walk on you tube with Leslie sansone, and a 2 mile walk outside a few days a week,,and it really makes you feel good and its only 9 months to bathing suit season,,,now get out there and sweat....Tim

kimnsc

Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

I always hate it when people say their children trashed their body.......Ummmmm, no they didn't YOU did that with a bad diet and little to no exercise. Don't blame your children for YOUR choices!

Timelordlady85

Hey Ya'll,

Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

I hate it when women say this crap. Your kids didn't trash anything, you chose to get pregnant and have children.

:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: yup couldn't have said it better!

msf74

Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

Wait.

Your three kids forced you to eat at a calorie surplus and then continue to eat at a higher maintenance level over an extended period of time? I'm pretty sure children don't actually have this ability.

You've obviously never met my kids...

jofjltncb6

Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!

Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

*adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*

As long as we're making all of my childhood dreams come true...

...I want to be able to buy a box of just the marshmallows from Lucky Charms...

...and just the candy sticks from the Lik-m-aid.



Oh, and flying cars. We were all but promised flying cars by now...

...but if I have to choose, give me the marshmallows and candy sticks before the flying car.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I think my issue is that I'm an instant gratification kind of person. Like, "Hey, I just ran a mile, I'm gonna go weigh myself...Wait...I didn't lose any weight running that mile?!?! What the hell?!?!"

That's why I'm jealous of the adipex. Because it expedites the process. I want immediate results with minimum work, ya' know?

just get the gastric sleeve done?? But, you will have to work to keep the weight coming off after....

jofjltncb6

Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

Wait.

Your three kids forced you to eat at a calorie surplus and then continue to eat at a higher maintenance level over an extended period of time? I'm pretty sure children don't actually have this ability.

You've obviously never met my kids...

If they can make a grown adult consistently eat thousands of calories more than they want to, I don't think I want to meet them.

When I do this, it's because I've chosen to do it myself.

msf74

Anyway...I have three kids who I love more than life itself. But they TRASHED my body.

Wait.

Your three kids forced you to eat at a calorie surplus and then continue to eat at a higher maintenance level over an extended period of time? I'm pretty sure children don't actually have this ability.

You've obviously never met my kids...

If they can make a grown adult consistently eat thousands of calories more than they want to, I don't think I want to meet them.

When I do this, it's because I've chosen to do it myself.

My kids drove me to drink.

And I didn't even have the decency to thank them...

George_Baileys_Ghost

Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!

Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

*adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*

As long as we're making all of my childhood dreams come true...

...I want to be able to buy a box of just the marshmallows from Lucky Charms...

...and just the candy sticks from the Lik-m-aid.



Oh, and flying cars. We were all but promised flying cars by now...

...but if I have to choose, give me the marshmallows and candy sticks before the flying car.

AND A HOVERBOARD!

_sirenofthesea_

While I know it was not the OP intent - this thread has completely made me laugh out loud today - both her witty posts - and all of the snarky comments intermingled with people's opinions and now lucky charms marshmallows and doritos in a pixie stick....


Welcome to MFP

Nic

DanaLash

No, no, no...ok, here is the deal. You misunderstand completely. First of all, whoever made the hyberbole dig. I dig it. I dig it MORE THAN ANYONE HAS EVER DUG ANYTHING EVER IN THE HISTORY OF ANYTHING. Really, it was hilarious.

I believe I made it clear right from the jump that I'm not a touchy feely kind of person. Like, didn't I say that immediately? Yeah, I did. But, allow me to explain since everyone wants to jump my ****.

1. When I said my kids trashed my body, I did not mean that my kids made me fat. I made me fat. Not that it is any of your business but apparently I need to explain because otherwise I'll be thrown to the MFP wolves up in this *****. I mean that my second child caused massive health issues. And then when I went to have the surgery to treat said health issues, I found out I was pregnant with my third. I spent my third pregnancy on complete bedrest. After my third was born, I had a very complicated and scary hysterectomy. By trashed my body, I meant that in the literal sense. So, suck it.

2. My friend who was prescribed adipex DOES have a leg up on me. She has an amphetamine coursing through her veins giving her energy everyday. Can I just go buy some meth? No, no I cannot. I don't care what you say. I openly admit, I have zero will power. I am a mother of three tiny energy thieves and I am tired ALL OF THE TIME. You can tell me that I just have to find the motivation myself. Well, no ****, Sherlock. Why do you think I'm on this site to begin with?

3. I didn't ask for people to give me reassuring lovey messages or advice, did I? I didn't ask for judgement, correct? All I said was, if any other people who just occasionally need a kick in the *kitten* wanna get in on this thing together, let me know. That was it.

*****es be crazy.

In regards to number 2, all I hear are excuses.

^Ditto this. Anybody can buy meth.

QFT!

OP, I wish you the best, but...welcome to the forums. If you come in with a notion that is wrong, you will hear about it. Multiple times.

So, I'm sure this will be seen as combative, but what the hell...who are any of you to decide which of my notions are wrong?

Also, most of the people giving me "advice" are on this site for the same reason I am...you're out of shape. Hey Pot, this is Kettle. You're black. Also, shut up.

casmithis

Thanks for the laugh everyone. If only that burned more calories.

I get the "kicking the husband in the throat" part. My husband tries to put on weight. why can't we just ransfer wieght like an organ. Geesh, why do I have to come up with all the answers!!????

kgeyser

Sneak into the pantry and smash those Doritos before your husband opens the bag. "What? Your chips are all smashed? Sorry babe, I have no idea what happened..." Maybe he'll get tired of eating them with a spoon and stop bringing them into the house. Passive-aggressive as hell, but it sure makes you feel better... Plus, you'll probably burn a calorie or two smashing those Doritos!

Wrong....now he can stick a straw in the bag and eat them without the annoying need to wash his hands afterwards.

This may, in fact, be the best idea that these forums has ever produced.

*adds Doritos and crazy straws to the shopping list*

This kind of genius is why you're on my FL. Well, that and your rugged good looks.

I wonder what my vitamix would do with a bag of doritos...and if I could then load the powder into straws and eat them like pixie sticks. Mmm, pixie sticks...and doritos.

Seriously. Someone just stole this idea and sold it to a chip company. And if not......*goes off to do a patent search*

As long as we're making all of my childhood dreams come true...

...I want to be able to buy a box of just the marshmallows from Lucky Charms...

...and just the candy sticks from the Lik-m-aid.



Oh, and flying cars. We were all but promised flying cars by now...

...but if I have to choose, give me the marshmallows and candy sticks before the flying car.

Oh jof….

http://www.amazon.com/Discount-Herbals-DH-8-Cereal-Marshmallows/dp/B001PM0KRU

PRMinx

So, I'm sure this will be seen as combative, but what the hell...who are any of you to decide which of my notions are wrong?

Also, most of the people giving me "advice" are on this site for the same reason I am...you're out of shape. Hey Pot, this is Kettle. You're black. Also, shut up.

srslybritt

Oh no she di'int.