sabotagers... are real
Replies
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I'm the opposite of this. My mom, when I was losing weight, would be like, "I made these cupcakes but I know you're on diet so....."
I ate two. Don't tell me I can't have something just because I'm on a diet. Losing weight doesn't have to be deprivation and you COULD have indulged with your friend and it wouldn't have wrecked your diet.
I also don't see it as sabotage, as the only person with the control is you, ever. In everything in life, it comes down to personal responsibility for our actions. Why does it have to be some deviate motive for your friend to want to spend time with you and indulge in noms? Maybe you're thinking too far into it.0 -
It's only deliberate sabotage if she's lacing your food with lard while you're not looking!
This is my favorite answer to posts about a saboteur. :laugh:0 -
Okay, if they're real do they get to wear cool black spandex get ups? Because, if so, I want one. Here, have a cookie.0
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Shouldn't you retitle this 'Excuses are real' I'm pretty sure your friend didn't come out with the attention of making you fat. She was having a good time. Try it sometime. Either fit the ice creams into your daily calories or use the English language i find these two words really useful 'No Thankyou'Oh my goodness, I didn't really believe that people who care about you really did this... but diet sabotagers are actually out there.
I spent the day with a friend who doesn't usually eat much (if at all), I divulged to her I was on a serious mission to regain my former healthy weight... she spent the whole day trying to feed me junk food, unbelievable! The person who will sit in a restaurant and eat nothing was suddenly in and out of shops eating cr@p... she even ate two ice creams, all the while trying to persuade me to do the same. At one point she was begging me to eat rum and raisin, making me look at all the lovely flavours and willing me to break!
What is that all about??0 -
My friend is lovely, she is a kind and funny person. I just found this behaviour so odd and out of character normally she would never push like that if I said I didn't want something, it was almost as if I was being tested. I know that it is my choice, I didn't eat the ice cream... I am not saying 'oh no, I ruined my diet and its all somebody else's fault' I stuck to my diet, I made my choice, I am not thick or in denial, I am fully aware I am in control of me.
The op who said she is glad she is not my friend, I have read other posts you have made... I am pretty sure I wouldn't give you the time of day never mind be your friend...0 -
Honestly, it's probably not about your diet, and she's just being her normal kind self. Do you know for certain that she doesn't usually eat much or is this something that she hasn't done often in front of you? I'm a big eater, a huge eater, actually. I frequently eat the same meal as my husband, who is easily 70 pounds heavier. Your friend may be very active and may need those refeeds, which it sounds like she was doing. Some people do it intuitively, and some need the food scale. You're certainly within your right to say "no thanks," and I doubt she gave it much thought that she was doing something that might offend you.
I have a relatively high TDEE because I exercise all the time and rarely sit down. My husband has a desk job that forces him to sit down most of the time. He's cutting now and I find myself offering him all sorts of goodies without thinking. I don't mean it as sabotage. In fact, I weigh and measure everything we both eat at home, and I pack his lunches. But when I eat something particularly tasty, I offer him some. Am I actively trying to sabotage him? Of course not. When he tells me no, which is ALL THE TIME, I rarely give it a second thought other than "hummmm, guess he isn't hungry."
I'm sure that is all that was happening here. Just enjoy the company and keep saying no.
I think I just got called fat and lazy, but it's not my fault0 -
I have no excuses to make I stuck to my food choices, I was airing my shock.
Shouldn't you retitle this 'Excuses are real' I'm pretty sure your friend didn't come out with the attention of making you fat. She was having a good time. Try it sometime. Either fit the ice creams into your daily calories or use the English language i find these two words really useful 'No Thankyou'Oh my goodness, I didn't really believe that people who care about you really did this... but diet sabotagers are actually out there.
I spent the day with a friend who doesn't usually eat much (if at all), I divulged to her I was on a serious mission to regain my former healthy weight... she spent the whole day trying to feed me junk food, unbelievable! The person who will sit in a restaurant and eat nothing was suddenly in and out of shops eating cr@p... she even ate two ice creams, all the while trying to persuade me to do the same. At one point she was begging me to eat rum and raisin, making me look at all the lovely flavours and willing me to break!
What is that all about??0 -
I have no excuses to make I stuck to my food choices, I was airing my shock.
Shouldn't you retitle this 'Excuses are real' I'm pretty sure your friend didn't come out with the attention of making you fat. She was having a good time. Try it sometime. Either fit the ice creams into your daily calories or use the English language i find these two words really useful 'No Thankyou'Oh my goodness, I didn't really believe that people who care about you really did this... but diet sabotagers are actually out there.
I spent the day with a friend who doesn't usually eat much (if at all), I divulged to her I was on a serious mission to regain my former healthy weight... she spent the whole day trying to feed me junk food, unbelievable! The person who will sit in a restaurant and eat nothing was suddenly in and out of shops eating cr@p... she even ate two ice creams, all the while trying to persuade me to do the same. At one point she was begging me to eat rum and raisin, making me look at all the lovely flavours and willing me to break!
What is that all about??
I am shocked by people in some way every day. Mostly, I am shocked by what shocks people to the point of posting about their shock.0 -
If you wanted a place to air your shock without getting opinions and without the possibility of appearing that you're not wanting to take personal responsibility, perhaps a dear diary journal entry was in order?0
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My friend is lovely, she is a kind and funny person. I just found this behaviour so odd and out of character normally she would never push like that if I said I didn't want something, it was almost as if I was being tested. I know that it is my choice, I didn't eat the ice cream... I am not saying 'oh no, I ruined my diet and its all somebody else's fault' I stuck to my diet, I made my choice, I am not thick or in denial, I am fully aware I am in control of me.
The op who said she is glad she is not my friend, I have read other posts you have made... I am pretty sure I wouldn't give you the time of day never mind be your friend...
Maybe you should re read what I wrote. I said you would be glad not to be a friend of mine. Since I just sabotaged all of them with my plans for today: pumpkin spice bread pudding & cherry with chocolate chunk sorbet.. there will be pictures posted later.
Awww so my other posts were mean? Not even 8 and someone already doesn't like me what will I do0 -
Honestly, it's probably not about your diet, and she's just being her normal kind self. Do you know for certain that she doesn't usually eat much or is this something that she hasn't done often in front of you? I'm a big eater, a huge eater, actually. I frequently eat the same meal as my husband, who is easily 70 pounds heavier. Your friend may be very active and may need those refeeds, which it sounds like she was doing. Some people do it intuitively, and some need the food scale. You're certainly within your right to say "no thanks," and I doubt she gave it much thought that she was doing something that might offend you.
I have a relatively high TDEE because I exercise all the time and rarely sit down. My husband has a desk job that forces him to sit down most of the time. He's cutting now and I find myself offering him all sorts of goodies without thinking. I don't mean it as sabotage. In fact, I weigh and measure everything we both eat at home, and I pack his lunches. But when I eat something particularly tasty, I offer him some. Am I actively trying to sabotage him? Of course not. When he tells me no, which is ALL THE TIME, I rarely give it a second thought other than "hummmm, guess he isn't hungry."
I'm sure that is all that was happening here. Just enjoy the company and keep saying no.
I think I just got called fat and lazy, but it's not my fault
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I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
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A friend of mine once said "you are not an ammunition supply train in World War II. No one is trying to sabotage you."0
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I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
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My wife does this to me.
She'll fat shame me one evening and feed me chocolate and pretzels the next evening while I'm trying to go to sleep.
Sometimes I think she's scared of me being thinner.
EDIT; Lately I've been turning her down on the treats though, must be getting stronger.
Ya, my SO was too. Think it pissed him off when I still lost weight eating it though.0 -
I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
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I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
You and your fortresses must be why I'm not losing weight…oh wait…
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Honestly, it's probably not about your diet, and she's just being her normal kind self. Do you know for certain that she doesn't usually eat much or is this something that she hasn't done often in front of you? I'm a big eater, a huge eater, actually. I frequently eat the same meal as my husband, who is easily 70 pounds heavier. Your friend may be very active and may need those refeeds, which it sounds like she was doing. Some people do it intuitively, and some need the food scale. You're certainly within your right to say "no thanks," and I doubt she gave it much thought that she was doing something that might offend you.
I have a relatively high TDEE because I exercise all the time and rarely sit down. My husband has a desk job that forces him to sit down most of the time. He's cutting now and I find myself offering him all sorts of goodies without thinking. I don't mean it as sabotage. In fact, I weigh and measure everything we both eat at home, and I pack his lunches. But when I eat something particularly tasty, I offer him some. Am I actively trying to sabotage him? Of course not. When he tells me no, which is ALL THE TIME, I rarely give it a second thought other than "hummmm, guess he isn't hungry."
I'm sure that is all that was happening here. Just enjoy the company and keep saying no.
Why are the best, most reasonable answers always ignored?0 -
Sorry, u r right0
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OP, you say this is unusual behavior for her and that she eats very little. How do you know? Do you babysit her diet all day to know this? Perhaps she works out to help burn some extra calories to fit those 2 ice creams in. Unless you're with her 24/7, there's no way you know what her own diet is like. You said it was unusual behavior for her, but perhaps it's just that you never noticed it before because you weren't all "my diet, my diet, my diet!".
IMO, she was just trying to have a good time with her friend. She probably felt a little sad that you wouldn't participate in everything.
To be honest, days like that are usually far and few between. It's okay to partake in events and have some fun. Those few days out of the year are a drop in the bucket, and in terms of losing weight, have very little effect. It's about moderation. If it had been me, I would have gotten the ice cream and fit it into my calorie goal. If it didn't fit, I'd eat it anyway and maybe go for an extra walk in the evening.0 -
I want to literally lick the screen how many calories are in monitor dust bunnies?. SABOTAGE! Damn you0 -
Honestly, it's probably not about your diet, and she's just being her normal kind self. Do you know for certain that she doesn't usually eat much or is this something that she hasn't done often in front of you? I'm a big eater, a huge eater, actually. I frequently eat the same meal as my husband, who is easily 70 pounds heavier. Your friend may be very active and may need those refeeds, which it sounds like she was doing. Some people do it intuitively, and some need the food scale. You're certainly within your right to say "no thanks," and I doubt she gave it much thought that she was doing something that might offend you.
I have a relatively high TDEE because I exercise all the time and rarely sit down. My husband has a desk job that forces him to sit down most of the time. He's cutting now and I find myself offering him all sorts of goodies without thinking. I don't mean it as sabotage. In fact, I weigh and measure everything we both eat at home, and I pack his lunches. But when I eat something particularly tasty, I offer him some. Am I actively trying to sabotage him? Of course not. When he tells me no, which is ALL THE TIME, I rarely give it a second thought other than "hummmm, guess he isn't hungry."
I'm sure that is all that was happening here. Just enjoy the company and keep saying no.
I think I just got called fat and lazy, but it's not my fault
If I could figure out how to double bold the sentence, "I find myself offering him all sorts of goodies without thinking." I would point , first to a picture of your wife, and then point out that you're doing okay big fella.
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I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
You and your fortresses must be why I'm not losing weight…oh wait…
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I worked with this lady that as soon as I told her that I was working out and watching what I ate she started ordering pizza all the time, telling me "one slice won't hurt" Of course one slice won't hurt occasionally, but every day?? Rude!0
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I want to literally lick the screen how many calories are in monitor dust bunnies?. SABOTAGE! Damn you
Just so you know - I licked it first.
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I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
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I want to literally lick the screen how many calories are in monitor dust bunnies?. SABOTAGE! Damn you
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Perhaps, it's just your perception. It's like when you're pregnant, you see all the pregnant women that usually escape your notice. When you get a new car, the same type of car jumps out at you.
When we are dieting, we can see normal things as over the top. Maybe before you would have just gone along with her suggestions - not thinking a thing about it because it was who you were then. Now you think differently about your choices, your friend has probably not changed her thinking and now there is discordance.
If she's really your friend - talk to her about it. Then keep making your good decisions.0 -
I want to literally lick the screen how many calories are in monitor dust bunnies?. SABOTAGE! Damn you
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Perhaps, it's just your perception. It's like when you're pregnant, you see all the pregnant women that usually escape your notice. When you get a new car, the same type of car jumps out at you.
When we are dieting, we can see normal things as over the top. Maybe before you would have just gone along with her suggestions - not thinking a thing about it because it was who you were then. Now you think differently about your choices, your friend has probably not changed her thinking and now there is discordance.
If she's really your friend - talk to her about it. Then keep making your good decisions.
Also a big yes!0
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