sabotagers... are real
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Let me tell you. BE CAREFUL who you tell your dreams to. She may care for u but she has allowed her insecurities to mess with what you want in life .
You may never know if someone is truly jealous or does not want the same good things for u.
LISTEN to what people say and do. That's who they are. She may be a good person but she is hurting you and that's not cool.
If you love her as a friend talk to her if not limit your time with her. I've been there not for this kind of situation but still saw a friend not being a friend and it hurt . Not easy but needed it for me.0 -
Maybe not a sabotager or a feeder, honesty i think she's insecure. I have a friend who is very slim, always goes on about how people tell her how jealous they are of her being so slim, then when she notices i am eating healthy and offers me cake, or ice cream, or whatever, but you can still have ice cream and cakes and such like if you add it to your calories.
I have noticed she is happy if i stay fat, recently i had brown hair, and i am now blonde, and she hates the fact i have long blonde hair, keeps telling me its made me look older and women my age should cut it shorter, its like shes trying to make me feel inferior but i now i ignore her.
Losing weight i have got ridden the four *chins... And now i have one chin, she never comments on how good i look, only the negatives. So if your friend is like this, i would just smile at her and say not hungry at the moment, but you go ahead.
*Smile xx0 -
I don't know why people do that but they do and I don't think it's conscious. I always advice my dieting friends not to let anyone know they are on a diet and to act surprised if anyone mentions they look like they lost weight.0
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Ah, yes. In roll the she's jealous of you replies
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Perhaps, it's just your perception. It's like when you're pregnant, you see all the pregnant women that usually escape your notice. When you get a new car, the same type of car jumps out at you.
When we are dieting, we can see normal things as over the top. Maybe before you would have just gone along with her suggestions - not thinking a thing about it because it was who you were then. Now you think differently about your choices, your friend has probably not changed her thinking and now there is discordance.
If she's really your friend - talk to her about it. Then keep making your good decisions.
Also a big yes!
^QFT0 -
Don't tell anyone you're watching what you eat or exercising, just do it.0
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I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
Wait. Ben&Jerry's make cheesecake brownie ice cream!? AND I just had a look at their US website, they make so much more flavours than they sell in Europe. Why won't they sabotage us more!??0 -
I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
Wait. Ben&Jerry's make cheesecake brownie ice cream!? AND I just had a look at their US website, they make so much more flavours than they sell in Europe. Why won't they sabotage us more!??
More reason to come invade?
FOR DA ICE CREEEEEAM! 0 -
For all the people that are say this isnt sabotage. Please. Allow this woman the freedom to have her own emotions and interpret a situation that she experienced personally and we did not. That being said. I feel ya. And sadly I have been that person before. Trying to destabilize a friends success only to massage my own insecurity. Since I lost my weight, I actually deal with these people daily. "Seriously, it's one donut. You can eat A donut." or, "Oh you have to try this, I made it, it's a amazing...." and you have to taste then or its a personal insult. But they know what they are doing. And I know. Because I was that person before. So now I smile and feel bad for them, because I know their motivation and it stems from insecurity and pain. She is still your friend, you are just more aware now of how she feels about herself.0
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For all the people that are say this isnt sabotage. Please. Allow this woman the freedom to have her own emotions and interpret a situation that she experienced personally and we did not. That being said. I feel ya. And sadly I have been that person before. Trying to destabilize a friends success only to massage my own insecurity. Since I lost my weight, I actually deal with these people daily. "Seriously, it's one donut. You can eat A donut." or, "Oh you have to try this, I made it, it's a amazing...." and you have to taste then or its a personal insult. But they know what they are doing. And I know. Because I was that person before. So now I smile and feel bad for them, because I know their motivation and it stems from insecurity and pain. She is still your friend, you are just more aware now of how she feels about herself.
You do? You have your right to your opinion but look at you projecting there. How do you know what it stems from?
Would you....like a donut?0 -
Unless you saw them do this:
Then it's hard for me to sympathize. When will people realize that they have control of their situations in life?0 -
"Conceal, don't feel, don't let it shooooow. Make one wrong move and everyone will knooooow."0 -
I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
Wait. Ben&Jerry's make cheesecake brownie ice cream!? AND I just had a look at their US website, they make so much more flavours than they sell in Europe. Why won't they sabotage us more!??
More reason to come invade? FOR DA ICE CREEEEEAM!
I live pretty damn close to these *kitten*, with their BandJ's flags waving around, cows out dancing in the field. And what about their once a year "free cone" day. It's their fault I got back in line 3 times.......nom,nom.0 -
I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
So you're the one...
I bought Talenti Sea Salt Caramel ice cream pops dipped in dark chocolate at the grocery store this week because of you.
Saboteur!!
BTW, does anyone else have the Beastie Boys song stuck in their head now??0 -
I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
So you're the one...
I bought Talenti Sea Salt Caramel ice cream pops dipped in dark chocolate at the grocery store this week because of you.
Saboteur!!
BTW, does anyone else have the Beastie Boys song stuck in their head now??
Ahaha. I had no idea my fortress was so famous!
Those gelato pops are freaking incredible! I was skeptical because I mean...3 tiny dilly bars for the price of pint but oh man!
Only the best for the mother of dragons0 -
LOL you had no idea your fortress was so famous yet I've seen this picture in at least 3-4 threads
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It just really knocked me off balance, we had breakfast together so she knew I had eaten well... also she is slim so it's not that she wants me to stay fat with her... it really confused me
She may not want you to "stay fat with her," she may not want you to be smaller than her. Maybe she's the "skinny one," and that's her identity. Maybe she's jealous, b/c even though you are heavier...you're possibly more attractive. Just throwing out some ideas.0 -
LOL you had no idea your fortress was so famous yet I've seen this picture in at least 3-4 threads
Fact- I don't take count of when I use it.0 -
Oh my goodness, I didn't really believe that people who care about you really did this... but diet sabotagers are actually out there.
I spent the day with a friend who doesn't usually eat much (if at all), I divulged to her I was on a serious mission to regain my former healthy weight... she spent the whole day trying to feed me junk food, unbelievable! The person who will sit in a restaurant and eat nothing was suddenly in and out of shops eating cr@p... she even ate two ice creams, all the while trying to persuade me to do the same. At one point she was begging me to eat rum and raisin, making me look at all the lovely flavours and willing me to break!
What is that all about??
if you told her you were on a serious mission to regain your former weight, then she was trying to help you because "regain my former weight" means get heavier.... i.e. she thought you considered yourself to be underweight and to need to gain weight to get healthy....0 -
I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
So you're the one...
I bought Talenti Sea Salt Caramel ice cream pops dipped in dark chocolate at the grocery store this week because of you.
Saboteur!!
BTW, does anyone else have the Beastie Boys song stuck in their head now??
Ahaha. I had no idea my fortress was so famous!
Those gelato pops are freaking incredible! I was skeptical because I mean...3 tiny dilly bars for the price of pint but oh man!
Only the best for the mother of dragons
LOL No kidding!
And they're only 200 calories a piece. I have to say it was one of my better decisions...0 -
I often wonder how much of this is subconscious.
Not necessarily that friends are unwittingly trying to sabotage us...
...but that we are unwittingly looking for blame and/or excuses for why things are difficult, perhaps to have a reason for failure later.
This way it is "their" fault that we couldn't stick to it. Or perhaps that in addition to radically changing our diet, we must change friends too, that sort of thing.
But, this is just wondering is all.0 -
I wanted to add though for the OP. I have definitely encountered some weird friendship obstacles regarding weight. Your friend could be trying to sabotage you or you could be ultra sensitive right now.
I had this friend in hs; we were both the same size. She gained over 100lbs in the 10 years after hs. We lost touch, reconnected. I could tell there was something "not right" about her feelings toward me. We went out to lunch once- pizza buffet and ice cream. I ate a hella lotta food (I was 8 months pregnant). She was SO delighted that I had eaten a huge amount of food. She kept saying, "I'm SO impressed that you ate that much!" It was strange. After I had my baby and lost all of the baby weight, she would say things like, "Geez, how SKINNY do you want to be???" She brought up my weight. I never brought up my weight or her weight.
We aren't friends anymore, b/c well, things degraded from there.0 -
I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
Wait. Ben&Jerry's make cheesecake brownie ice cream!? AND I just had a look at their US website, they make so much more flavours than they sell in Europe. Why won't they sabotage us more!??
More reason to come invade? FOR DA ICE CREEEEEAM!
Yes! Send soldiers with ice cream -> world peace is coming!I live pretty damn close to these *kitten*, with their BandJ's flags waving around, cows out dancing in the field. And what about their once a year "free cone" day. It's their fault I got back in line 3 times.......nom,nom.
I can help! Just send it all here!!
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wow...there are so many unnecessarily rude *kitten* on here
Well aren't you pleasant0 -
Yeah I was thinking that. Regardless I'd be avoiding hanging around that "friend" personally.maybe she feels you would be a threat if you lost the weight! sounds ver insecure to me!0 -
:yawn: and?wow...there are so many unnecessarily rude *kitten* on here0 -
I would like to extend an invitation for you all to invade my fortress but I'm afraid I'd be a Saboteur
So you're the one...
I bought Talenti Sea Salt Caramel ice cream pops dipped in dark chocolate at the grocery store this week because of you.
Saboteur!!
BTW, does anyone else have the Beastie Boys song stuck in their head now??
Glad I'm not the only one with the earworm.
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Weird isn't it? Sabatogers are real. And they are typically people who care the most about you. They have grown accustomed to you being as you are. They don't know what a changed you will mean for them. Some of it is jealousy, some of it is just fear of the unknown, some of it is just them being an insecure mess and they want you to be that way as well. It's complicated. Ultimately, our goal is to bring them along on our journey and get them invested in our success:drinker: . OR-leave them behind.0
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Can someone tell me how to post these awesome little mini videos? I don't know how to do it and i LOVE them so much.:sad:0
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Can someone tell me how to post these awesome little mini videos? I don't know how to do it and i LOVE them so much.:sad:
You can go to websites like www.tinypic.com and upload them. Use the img code with all lower case letters to post in forums0
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