Off Topic and Inappropriate

245

Replies

  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Hey Lauren, I feel you pain...the rest of the year is fine....but during football season and especially during a Redskins game.......I could be standing naked with a rose in my teeth and a come hither stare and he would wave me away like a gnat!
  • sunbug501
    sunbug501 Posts: 180
    I happen to really love football season!!!...I'd probably be one that would be right next to my man watching the game! Does that make me weird???:bigsmile:
  • laurenk182004
    laurenk182004 Posts: 1,882 Member
    I'm a big football fan too...lol But I hear ya Tami...oh well! I sort of figured since we're pretty much newly weds there would still be some spontaneity, but I'm over it I guess. If I have to say "wanna have sex?" in the same tone as "wanna go to walmart?" (LOL) I suppose I will
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Hey Lauren, I feel you pain...the rest of the year is fine....but during football season and especially during a Redskins game.......I could be standing naked with a rose in my teeth and a come hither stare and he would wave me away like a gnat!


    Yeah, I can totally understand it being a Redskins or Patriots game.....:yawn:


    But if it were the Panthers, even lover boy J might have a hard time bringing himself back into service....

    *shrug*
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    I'm guilty of being a pretty big football fan myself- although I can be coaxed away

    :blushing:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    I gotta get into this football thing...........learn about the home runs and stuff...(KIDDING!!!) HEHEHE!

    I will do that! If we go to a football game, I will tease my husband and say "So, when do the free throws happen??"


    Oh that TAMI!!
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
    Jo Jo doesn't like planned hanky panky... so uncool!

    Thank goodness I have a "ready when you are" type of guy.

    ~Joanna:flowerforyou:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    I gotta get into this football thing...........learn about the home runs and stuff...(KIDDING!!!) HEHEHE!

    I will do that! If we go to a football game, I will tease my husband and say "So, when do the free throws happen??"


    Oh that TAMI!!

    OMG.. orange juice.. through the nose..

    ouch...

    lmao
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    I gotta get into this football thing...........learn about the home runs and stuff...(KIDDING!!!) HEHEHE!

    I will do that! If we go to a football game, I will tease my husband and say "So, when do the free throws happen??"


    Oh that TAMI!!


    ROFL.

    That is all.
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)

    Hmm, I would think your mind would have been going more of a "Plinko" route!! Not sure why, but it sounds kinky!
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
    I can hear you singing the litle song.

    Are you in the outfit too?... Trying to get the whole picture.
  • beautifulbay
    beautifulbay Posts: 159
    I'd have been ticked....but I don't let my hubby get away with stuff like that...
    What I'd do is turn off the tv .... hide the remote somewhere on ME ... and start doing a sexy little dance...when he comes over ,ask him "Do you still want the remote?? or something else?? " if he still goes for the remote..... he sleeps on the couch. ...permanently. :noway:

    oooorrr..... ooh lala
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
    I can hear you singing the litle song.

    Are you in the outfit too?... Trying to get the whole picture.

    Could happen. Whatever Lauren...errr the girl is into.....:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:



    Teehee.
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
    I can hear you singing the litle song.

    Are you in the outfit too?... Trying to get the whole picture.

    Could happen. Whatever Lauren...errr the girl is into.....:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:



    Teehee.
    and you guys thought I was the freaky one....

    *hands the title to J*
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
    I can hear you singing the litle song.

    Are you in the outfit too?... Trying to get the whole picture.

    Could happen. Whatever Lauren...errr the girl is into.....:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:



    Teehee.
    and you guys thought I was the freaky one....

    *hands the title to J*

    Laurens the one that made me dress up this way!!! :sad:
  • kerikitkat
    kerikitkat Posts: 352 Member
    The other night my husband head-butted me because he wanted to have sex. Numerous times. I was like, "What are you doing?"

    WEIRD! And not really sexy....

    omg!!!

    My husband does that, too. :noway: I agree with the whole, don't ask me, just take me, and if he acts more interested in the tv than my advances, I will probably be "too sleepy" by the time he is done channel surfing. I mean, come on. If he's really watching something, sure. If he's alternating between 6 different channels all containing movies we've seen a bazillion times or cooking shows? :laugh: Sorry, babe.
  • chiefiron
    chiefiron Posts: 305 Member
    *spelling? lol
    Anyways! So, I take a bath, put on some makeup and a slinky nighty (told u it was inappropriate) and I'm giving the husband little kisses and stuff and he tells me to wait until the price is right is over! are u friggin' kidding me?! We have a DVR recorder...I am so ticked off right now.

    WOW!!!!

    About all i can muster at the moment.

    :noway:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    *spelling? lol
    Anyways! So, I take a bath, put on some makeup and a slinky nighty (told u it was inappropriate) and I'm giving the husband little kisses and stuff and he tells me to wait until the price is right is over! are u friggin' kidding me?! We have a DVR recorder...I am so ticked off right now.

    WOW!!!!

    About all i can muster at the moment.

    :noway:

    That being my initial reaction as well Chief.
  • iluvsparkles
    iluvsparkles Posts: 1,730 Member
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
    I can hear you singing the litle song.

    Are you in the outfit too?... Trying to get the whole picture.

    Could happen. Whatever Lauren...errr the girl is into.....:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:



    Teehee.
    and you guys thought I was the freaky one....

    *hands the title to J*

    Laurens the one that made me dress up this way!!! :sad:

    lol this visual is hilarious! BUT sgt, did she make you do the yodel song that the alpine guy sings? Yodleedee do yodleedee do...
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
    I can hear you singing the litle song.

    Are you in the outfit too?... Trying to get the whole picture.

    Could happen. Whatever Lauren...errr the girl is into.....:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:



    Teehee.
    and you guys thought I was the freaky one....

    *hands the title to J*

    Laurens the one that made me dress up this way!!! :sad:

    lol this visual is hilarious! BUT sgt, did she make you do the yodel song that the alpine guy sings? Yodleedee do yodleedee do...


    I'm not at liberty to discuss the 'lovin'' habits of my clients. Sorry. *shrug*

    (lol, When Lauren comes back to this thread she's gonna be like :noway: 'What the crap!?!')
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
    I can hear you singing the litle song.

    Are you in the outfit too?... Trying to get the whole picture.

    Could happen. Whatever Lauren...errr the girl is into.....:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:



    Teehee.
    and you guys thought I was the freaky one....

    *hands the title to J*

    Laurens the one that made me dress up this way!!! :sad:

    lol this visual is hilarious! BUT sgt, did she make you do the yodel song that the alpine guy sings? Yodleedee do yodleedee do...

    I keep thnking of that too Em! LOL!

    I am just amazed I got nothing for my "Plinko" joke!! hahahaha
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    If a girl as cute as Lauren had come to me in that way during the Price is Right, I would have been like 'Come on down!'


    I would have been climbing her like that little Alpine climbing guy....


    :blushing: (Wow, that was inappropriate....yet.....true....*shrug*)
    I can hear you singing the litle song.

    Are you in the outfit too?... Trying to get the whole picture.

    Could happen. Whatever Lauren...errr the girl is into.....:blushing: :blushing: :blushing:



    Teehee.
    and you guys thought I was the freaky one....

    *hands the title to J*

    Laurens the one that made me dress up this way!!! :sad:

    lol this visual is hilarious! BUT sgt, did she make you do the yodel song that the alpine guy sings? Yodleedee do yodleedee do...

    I keep thnking of that too Em! LOL!

    I am just amazed I got nothing for my "Plinko" joke!! hahahaha


    I don't condone that kinda of veiled sexual innuendo, Tam. You Perve. :angry:




    (well....maybe....sometimes....:wink: )
  • jenbar
    jenbar Posts: 1,038 Member
    *spelling? lol
    Anyways! So, I take a bath, put on some makeup and a slinky nighty (told u it was inappropriate) and I'm giving the husband little kisses and stuff and he tells me to wait until the price is right is over! are u friggin' kidding me?! We have a DVR recorder...I am so ticked off right now.

    All I have to say is either way your husband is lucky.
    Because in my 10 years of marriage, I have NEVER approached him like that. Poor guy:laugh:
    If I ever did that I think he'd fall off the couch (with remote still in hand) I'm so out of practice, if I try to do something like that we both just start laughing! I know, sad marriage! He's lucky if he gets anything once a month!
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    *spelling? lol
    Anyways! So, I take a bath, put on some makeup and a slinky nighty (told u it was inappropriate) and I'm giving the husband little kisses and stuff and he tells me to wait until the price is right is over! are u friggin' kidding me?! We have a DVR recorder...I am so ticked off right now.

    All I have to say is either way your husband is lucky.
    Because in my 10 years of marriage, I have NEVER approached him like that. Poor guy:laugh:
    If I ever did that I think he'd fall off the couch (with remote still in hand) I'm so out of practice, if I try to do something like that we both just start laughing! I know, sad marriage! He's lucky if he gets anything once a month!

    All I can say is that I love it when my special someone approaches me with 'fervor'. It makes me feel loved and treasured, not to mention desired. Guess that's why it's so hard for me to figure out what the guys in this thread are thinking.....*shrug* Beats me.


    -J:heart:
  • 5KNohno
    5KNohno Posts: 503
    Okay so this is probably bordering on TMI, but since we are all adults, here goes. Though if my mom ends up getting on here like I've asked her to....well :blushing: :blushing: :blushing: :blushing:
    When we were first married and hubby worked second shift I would stay up almost every night, get dolled up and have the loving waiting for him when he walked through the door. I can't count the times he walked in, said "Hey, hon," and plopped on the couch or headed straight for the computer. I felt so rejected and went to bed with my feelings hurt.

    After fourteen years I can definitely say things have gotten better. He appreciates the invitation more - with five kids, spur of the moment is hard to come by. I have learned to give him some time to unwind from work or other stressful situations before approaching him. I've learned that it's not a personal rejection of me(Okay, actually stilll working on this one - being fat definitely has taken a toll on my self-confidence). I've learned to tell him how I feel instead of just getting upset(Okay still working on this too ). After a recent misunderstanding, he asked, "What's wrong with you?" When I explained, he was like "Ohhhh. I didn't know," which brings me to another thing I've learned - Men can be completely clueless. After talking with other ladies I've come to the conclusion that someone needs to write a book that is mandatory reading for all husbands. (I believe intimacy should be within marriage.) It should go something like this: When your wife takes a completely unnecessary shower, uses your favorite body wash, barely towels off, and presses her damp body up against you.... SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: When your wife puts on perfume and fixes her hair right before bed...SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: When your wife wears slinky red lingerie, or black lingerie, or hot pink lingerie, or any lingerie, or no lingerie...SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: When your wife leaves a package containing honey dust and almond oil in your chair...SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: When your wife asks you if you're hungry while holding strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate while standing in the bedroom door...SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: If your wife.... Okay, I think you've got the idea, but sometimes when you think, "How in the world could they NOT KNOW????" They just don't.
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Okay so this is probably bordering on TMI, but since we are all adults, here goes. Though if my mom ends up getting on here like I've asked her to....well :blushing: :blushing: :blushing: :blushing:
    When we were first married and hubby worked second shift I would stay up almost every night, get dolled up and have the loving waiting for him when he walked through the door. I can't count the times he walked in, said "Hey, hon," and plopped on the couch or headed straight for the computer. I felt so rejected and went to bed with my feelings hurt.

    After fourteen years I can definitely say things have gotten better. He appreciates the invitation more - with five kids, spur of the moment is hard to come by. I have learned to give him some time to unwind from work or other stressful situations before approaching him. I've learned that it's not a personal rejection of me(Okay, actually stilll working on this one - being fat definitely has taken a toll on my self-confidence). I've learned to tell him how I feel instead of just getting upset(Okay still working on this too ). After a recent misunderstanding, he asked, "What's wrong with you?" When I explained, he was like "Ohhhh. I didn't know," which brings me to another thing I've learned - Men can be completely clueless. After talking with other ladies I've come to the conclusion that someone needs to write a book that is mandatory reading for all husbands. (I believe intimacy should be within marriage.) It should go something like this: When your wife takes a completely unnecessary shower, uses your favorite body wash, barely towels off, and presses her damp body up against you.... SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: When your wife puts on perfume and fixes her hair right before bed...SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: When your wife wears slinky red lingerie, or black lingerie, or hot pink lingerie, or any lingerie, or no lingerie...SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: When your wife leaves a package containing honey dust and almond oil in your chair...SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: When your wife asks you if you're hungry while holding strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate while standing in the bedroom door...SHE WANTS SEX. :heart: If your wife.... Okay, I think you've got the idea, but sometimes when you think, "How in the world could they NOT KNOW????" They just don't.


    :noway:


    Well, I've always responded well to being straddled while she takes her shirt off...but that's about as subtle as I can get. :wink:


    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: (It's so true too)
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
    I went through the same thing but we weren't married yet.
    I got rejected almost every day. But now that he's home more, the roles have changed.
  • beautifulbay
    beautifulbay Posts: 159
    :laugh: :laugh: oh my god....that was funny...

    I've rules out being subtle...it always hurts my feelings...I tend to be more subtle when I want a romantic night...and he doesn't get it at all...but when I just want to go wild.... well..... hheehee

    who needs to be subtle? He always gets the picture :devil:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    I went through the same thing but we weren't married yet.
    I got rejected almost every day. But now that he's home more, the roles have changed.


    You...had relations....before you were....married? I thought that was only a myth!?! You mean....YOU CAN DO THAT NOW!?!?! :noway: :noway: :noway:



    Why doesn't anyone tell me these things!!! :sad:
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