Wife upset I am losing weight
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This thread is 10 days old and op has not been back to respond since the original day he posted, so why are people continuing to comment? It has already all been said.0
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I still check it lol I think we got it figured out though. Things have been improving. Turns out that coming off birth control implementation made her hormones go crazy. She has leveled out and things have improved. Implanon is not recommended lol after it comes out things get crazy for a good month. Thanks for all your support
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Plus it keeps wanting me to download app and it is driving me nuts. Everything I click on it takes me to the app store. Got enough bloatware from att update don't want more lol0
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Apparently, not get on the scale after her. Maybe they have one at your gym? Clearly this is a sore spot for her. Reassure her that you love her as she is and will love her no matter what changes she makes, or doesn't. Let her goals and motivations be her own. Steer clear of this kind of topic and remand your detailed descriptions of your awesomeness on the fitness front to this app and to gym chat with your gym friends. Limit your topics with your wife to how great her *kitten*/cooking/jokes/kindness/heart/soul/chest/face/etc. is and never talk about fitness in front of her. Yours or hers.I have always been in to fitness. She knew that when we married. She knows I will be at the gym a few hours 5-7 days a week depending on goals I am going to reach. For years I stayed around 300lbs. I am in to bodybuilding so 300lbs I was not round. I still would hang 90lbs and do wide grip pullups. I could incline bench 425. 20-30 minutes cardio a day. Diet was always on point for my goals. I decided to lean out and get my abs in. Started at 313 and down to 266 in a month and half. Still can lift almost same weight in upper body. Squats suffered a lot though. Seated military dumbbell presses got 120s for 8 yesterday. So overall happy with strength with cutting down. I am going to 240ish. I will be very very lean there no doubt. 266 I got sides of abs coming in. Also can clearly see the v shape on the bottom. I do 7 days a week. Core everyday, cardio everyday, regular routine 2 days on one day off then 3 days on. I am using Keto to cut down along with a small dose of t3, clen and prescribed test to speed up results. Anyway, wife has been trying to lose weight forever. She doesn't exercise hardly at all, eats junk food in small potions and takes phentermine or relies on it I should say. She has been so upset I am cutting down. I love her the way she is so I am not trying to force her to change. I see how upset she gets about her weight so I try to say lets go workout together or how about you try this. She gets mad at me. Today I got on the scale after her and now she won't even talk to me. I don't feel it's my fault she can't stick to a proper diet. I can go 6 months with no cheat meals and not caring about them. I eat for performance not pleasure. She is the opposite. What can I do to help her feel better and stop her frustration with me?
What if she had a big zit on her nose that you knew she was self conscious about? Would you stand in the mirror and say "Hot damn my skin is so perfect!"? No, I doubt that. Just because fitness is your wheelhouse no need to make her feel like a slouch.
Just reel it in a little and save it for your online and gym friends.
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..or blame it on her hormones. Whichever.I still check it lol I think we got it figured out though. Things have been improving. Turns out that coming off birth control implementation made her hormones go crazy. She has leveled out and things have improved. Implanon is not recommended lol after it comes out things get crazy for a good month. Thanks for all your support)
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i get mad my husband is super skinny always have been he has issues gaining weight but if I ate what he ate I would gain but what my hubby does to help me is h when I work he tells me im doing a good job he tells me he keeps me going pretty much and I feel like he's here to help me maybe try that and see if it helps some and what ever your eating offer her it too... hope I helped a bit0
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Don't know where that came from lol never talked about my mother lol it's not illegal what I use. Just depends which country your in
lmao 0 -
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Don't know where that came from lol never talked about my mother lol it's not illegal what I use. Just depends which country your in lmao
Maybe you should take a look at the person I quoted. Take a look.
Now, you have a quick response for everything to prove how great you are. It's sad.
Taking Clen is stupid, dumb, idiotic, pick whichever you prefer, in the end they all lead to the same place...........ignorance. It doesn't matter what country you're from. Thinking that your wife is the one with the problem only magnifies you lack of perception of reality.
To all those people thinking his wife is just jealous of his awesomeness, PED's are just a recipe for disaster. Everyone is overlooking that. Numbers aren't so impressive when you're juicing. And even less impressive when you add in the use of PED's and the fact that at his size, with the years of training those numbers are standard at best. No one should be jealous of anyone on PED's.
But you know what.. I look damn good doing it dropped off another few pounds in last few days. Abs will be here in about 4 weeks fully in. Please about the numbers lmfao I'm going for bodyfat percentage now not max . Yup just tan it up after and gtg. You can pick me apart but I am very good at what I do in my career and my hobbies. Peds lmfao that what the people who never get to where they want say as a cop out. Enjoy your pity party but seriously I have a great life and you could never bring me down. I'm better then that )))) how's that for arrogance lol -1 -
Don't know where that came from lol never talked about my mother lol it's not illegal what I use. Just depends which country your in lmao
Maybe you should take a look at the person I quoted. Take a look.
Now, you have a quick response for everything to prove how great you are. It's sad.
Taking Clen is stupid, dumb, idiotic, pick whichever you prefer, in the end they all lead to the same place...........ignorance. It doesn't matter what country you're from. Thinking that your wife is the one with the problem only magnifies you lack of perception of reality.
To all those people thinking his wife is just jealous of his awesomeness, PED's are just a recipe for disaster. Everyone is overlooking that. Numbers aren't so impressive when you're juicing. And even less impressive when you add in the use of PED's and the fact that at his size, with the years of training those numbers are standard at best. No one should be jealous of anyone on PED's.
But you know what.. I look damn good doing it dropped off another few pounds in last few days. Abs will be here in about 4 weeks fully in. Please about the numbers lmfao I'm going for bodyfat percentage now not max . Yup just tan it up after and gtg. You can pick me apart but I am very good at what I do in my career and my hobbies. Peds lmfao that what the people who never get to where they want say as a cop out. Enjoy your pity party but seriously I have a great life and you could never bring me down. I'm better then that )))) how's that for arrogance lol
Great life... except that your wife doesn't like you anymore.
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She doesn't exercise hardly at all
eats junk food in small potions
takes phentermine or relies on it I should say.
she can't stick to a proper diet.
I eat for performance not pleasure. She is the opposite.
I try to say lets go workout together or how about you try this.
I can go 6 months with no cheat meals and not caring about them.
Look at what you are saying about her and what you are saying about you. To summarise, you are saying that she does everything wrong and you do everything right and the only way for her to succeed is for her to do what you do.
Now, leaving aside who has the best diet and fitness regime, think about the emotional impact of constantly suggesting, implying or just believing that she cannot do this right. It is simply going to negatively affect her self-esteem, and low self-esteem never helps anyone get anything done. What's more, she is picking up on your judgmental and superior attitude, even when you don't say anything, and this is what is causing the friction. Every time she fails, she has to face you knowing that you see her failure and that you think you've got it all sorted. Remember that a good relationship is not about who is most right, it is about loving a real, flawed human being and supporting them with their efforts, even if those efforts seem futile or useless to you.
If you want to support your wife, you have to be her *friend* and not her trainer. Put aside every single thought you have about how she *should* do it, and simply listen to her. Listen to how she feels, give her a hug, give her positive self-image messages 'I know how hard you try' and recognise her efforts as *she sees them*, not as you see them *You did really well not to go back for that second slice of cake, I know how tasty it was!' Ask her what her plan is and then praise her when she sticks to it. If she sticks to her plan and it doesn't work, ask her what her opinion is. If she doesn't stick to it, don't point it out - you're not the policeman of her life - wait for her to volunteer that she didn't stick to it and then ask her why she thinks that is. Do not interject with your own opinions, it is not about her coming up with the answer you want, it is about giving her a space to discuss, think and explore her own ideas with someone she loves and trusts. It is not about convincing her that you are right because if that was going to work, it would have worked already. Ask her 'how is your plan going, sweetheart?' and celebrate what she sees as her successes 'that's awesome! Well done baby, I'm proud of you.' If she says she couldn't or didn't do something, reassure and remotivate her 'Never mind, you had a long day and we can't always get everything done. You can always go back to it tomorrow.' When you get into the habit of asking someone how their diet and fitness went, they'll usually ask you in return. Celebrate what you feel are your successes and admit what you feel you could have done better on, and enjoy getting her support in return. Remember that relationships are about emotional support, not cold, hard, indicators of success.
Ultimately, people are always more open minded when they feel supported, valued and free to choose their own options. I guarantee that supporting, praising and valuing her will increase her feelings of wanting to come to you for advice, because she knows that she is still free to choose whether or not she takes it. Valuing her hard work and praising it will make her turn the compliment around on you, and it may encourage her to try one or two things that you do. If she wants to eat a certain way, support her in this, help prepare her meals the way she likes them, tell her what you did and ask her if you got it right - you will be helping her with her eating plan and helping her stick to it and she will feel supported and loved. Pick one thing she does (or plans to do) that you think is a good idea and tell her you'd like to do that too and then do it with her - when she sees you being flexible and reasonable, she will be inspired to be more like that too.
Sorry for the long post, but you seem like you really love your wife and want to make it work and I just wanted to give you some advice. Good luck!0 -
That poor woman....Don't know where that came from lol never talked about my mother lol it's not illegal what I use. Just depends which country your in lmao
Maybe you should take a look at the person I quoted. Take a look.
Now, you have a quick response for everything to prove how great you are. It's sad.
And this whole thread should be required reading for any young person thinking of juicing roids.
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Don't you still have to work with steroids? You don't just inject and wake up hulking, right? Why discount his results? I never got that but admittedly I know little about both narcotics and bodybuilding.0
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I don't think there is anything wrong with focusing on yourself. The only one that can help your wife is your wife.0
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So instead of complaining you are self centered, cause that is between you and her, I will say this, I have been on phentermine and it sucks, sure it seems like a great pill, because it works on a persona mentally to make think they are not hungry. It also makes blood pressure higher (which I wish my DR would have shared that nugget with me before I started) I was on it for about three weeks and noticed my blood pressure getting higher each time. I said screw that done with this crap, took myself off it. What it did do though is it made me aware of my hunger cues, she needs to listen to her body. It is okay to have junk food if you can limit it to 1 serving and count those calories. But can't eat it all day. I realize you are into bodybuilding which is fine, but maybe take her out for a thirty minute walk everyday. Don't change your goals, but help her with hers. I think everyone goes to a point where they realize what there doing, isn't working and until each person has the idea to change it won't change. I know my opinion probably doesn't mean anything, but since you asked, maybe you both can work out a plan, on what food is in the house, and what exercise she is willing to do. Thirty minutes a day for walk is all she may really need, or workout some kind of plan for you to exercise together.
" If you always do, what you always did, you always get, what you always got" - author unknown.
So this is my two cents.
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Oh yeah, about the Phentermine, not good!! If she ever decides to stop, she will balloon up. It really messes with your metabolism. She should decrease it slowly and learn how to portion her foods. Not easy, I know but it can be done, she has to really want it.0
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Wait...I thought this thread died...0
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I could only read so much of the back and forth before I wanted to call BS.
Don't tell your wife you miss laying with her and being with her, but then say "She knew when we got married that I'd be spending large portions of my day outside of work in the gym." You make the choice as to how you spend your time, and the only thing stopping you from being with her and being there is YOU.
She doesn't want to be told she could go to the gym or change her diet. SHE KNOWS THAT. She doesn't want any sort of lecture from her spouse. She doesn't want a competition... If you knew she was sensitive about this, why would you even think it was an okay idea to weigh in right after she did.. when she was still in the room???
Maybe you should surprise her by bypassing the gym completely on a random day every week, and have that random day be all about connecting as a couple, during which you intently focus and love her body and person from head to toe. Not just apologies that land hollow because nothing changes. Not a random dinner you made, as whatever you make could feel like a slight. Take her out, make reservations at her favorite place, take her around with her proudly on your arm and help her feel as beautiful as you see her to be.
If she's crying or lamenting on weight, just listen. No solutions unless she ASKS. Her weight and her goals are the focus of her and her doctor, trainer, or whoever else she elects to bring in there. Many of us don't want to workout and diet with our partners because it is such a personal and sometimes humiliating experience, we don't want our partners to see us as weak or incapable... Especially when our partners are the polar opposite.0 -
Maybe print all of the responses, have her highlight the good, the bad, and the derp. So another way of saying this is: "Ask her what makes sense" then step 2 and this may be really difficult for you "LISTEN and IMPLEMENT"0
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She may be feeling insecure and unimportant because you're taking the time, getting into shape. Try to encourage her to do it with you and show her that you will be there every step of the way, to cheer her on! We tend to forget those around us, when we are having success with our weight loss journey. I sometimes think my husband feels the same way, since losing my weight. Good luck!0
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I'd say try giving her the same amount of attention you are giving yourself. It would work wonders, if you were up to it.0
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One suggest I would make is for you to reschedule your gym time early in the morning... before your wife wakes up.. so it does not effect your marriage...
while I know it is a b!tch waking up at 5:30.. but at least I'm home and with my wife when it really matters....0 -
Hay bro, good numbers, what are yur big 3?0
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If you work all day, then spend "a few hours" at the gym every day, it sounds like don't spend much time with your wife. Maybe that is what she's upset about. Plus, when you are at home, if you do a lot of talking about what you are accomplishing at the gym, I can see how it would feel to her that the gym is more important than she is. Maybe try to make sure you are spending enough time with her and that when you are together, you focus on things that don't involve weight loss or exercise.0
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Maybe you should take some time to ask her what you can do to make her feel better. Just sit down and talk and listen to everything she has to say and let her vent her frustrations and headaches to you and let her tell you everything that is on her mind and you simply just listen and when she is done ask her what she thinks would be best for you to do to help her in anyway that you can. Maybe then she will open up more to you.
I understand you offered to workout with her but when you keep losing weight like that and she isn't losing as much as you did it can be discouraging I know because my best friend and me used to work out and before I knew it he was ripped like hell and I was still struggling to get weight off. That never motivated me to want to go back out and workout with him so maybe your wife feels the same way.
I think listening to her and asking what you can do to make her feel better and supporting her other then just offering to workout with her will help the situation but that is just my thoughts. Good luck I hope it all works out for the best for you both in this situation.0 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Don't know where that came from lol never talked about my mother lol it's not illegal what I use. Just depends which country your in lmao
Maybe you should take a look at the person I quoted. Take a look.
Now, you have a quick response for everything to prove how great you are. It's sad.
Taking Clen is stupid, dumb, idiotic, pick whichever you prefer, in the end they all lead to the same place...........ignorance. It doesn't matter what country you're from. Thinking that your wife is the one with the problem only magnifies you lack of perception of reality.
To all those people thinking his wife is just jealous of his awesomeness, PED's are just a recipe for disaster. Everyone is overlooking that. Numbers aren't so impressive when you're juicing. And even less impressive when you add in the use of PED's and the fact that at his size, with the years of training those numbers are standard at best. No one should be jealous of anyone on PED's.
But you know what.. I look damn good doing it dropped off another few pounds in last few days. Abs will be here in about 4 weeks fully in. Please about the numbers lmfao I'm going for bodyfat percentage now not max . Yup just tan it up after and gtg. You can pick me apart but I am very good at what I do in my career and my hobbies. Peds lmfao that what the people who never get to where they want say as a cop out. Enjoy your pity party but seriously I have a great life and you could never bring me down. I'm better then that )))) how's that for arrogance lol
Great life... except that your wife doesn't like you anymore.
Really? Can you actually say his wife doesn't like him anymore..... it sounds to me that she is upset with him... When i get upset with my wife that doesn't mean I don't like her anymore.... it means i'm upset with her.....
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