The most common mistake women make!

taletreader

If you go offended then I am sorry, you took it personally and it was not intended as an attack it was intended to be an eye opener, which usually means that you are or have made these mistakes and are not ready to admit it.. I am not out to criticize or put anyone down I am out to educate people. What you should be offended by is society as a whole who through misinformation has done more harm to us as a whole.

Well, you can be right (which for the record I think you are) and still come across as a condescending, preachy, self-important and self-appointed, er, not-very-nice person. I don't know you from Adam, and your writing is all I have to go by for forming an opinion. If I feel the desire to educate a group I don't belong to and a fortiori don't know from the inside, I'll be a HELL of a lot more careful in my phrasing and open to the suggestion that, hey, I may be overlooking a few things here. Especially if no one appointed me to edumacate those poor benighted beings.

I recommend you take a hard look at yourself and examine your motives for not focussing on people, regardless of sex, who make these mistakes (plenty of women don't, plenty of men do -- and it doesn't matter which percentage is larger) but instead singling out women. Maybe a little bit of feeling that women, as a whole, are less capable of making good choices, huh?

123nikki123

This girl is not offended perhaps more enlightened! Thank you for sharing:flowerforyou:

katmmcd

If nothing else, your post definitely got people talking. I agree with the information in your original post. I used to find myself in the same "trap", eating as little as possible and working out, and either losing weight slowly, or feeling miserable all of the time. And eventually I would quit the program. Now I eat between 1500 - 1700 calories per day, and make sure I work out on most days, and I lose weight at a reasonable rate of 1-1.5 pounds per week.

I wasn't offended at all by your post.....I think much of it is true for my female friends. I don't recall my male friends that are dieting as having the same issue. I don't think your comments were sexist...but rather your observations based on your experiences with your female friends and family.

girlinahat

firstly, can I say that I thought what you said was an excellent summation of where a lot of the women who post on this site seem to be perhaps going wrong. My only criticism would be that you suggest that we 'choose' 1200 calories as a goal when in fact for the most part MFP has made that decision.

secondly - you're a newfie? Explains a lot...............odd bunch.......:flowerforyou:

Dawntodusk

You make good points. I'd just like to point that not all women make this mistake. I am a woman and have never done anything remotely resembling what you describe.

ajbeans

I recommend you take a hard look at yourself and examine your motives for not focussing on people, regardless of sex, who make these mistakes (plenty of women don't, plenty of men do -- and it doesn't matter which percentage is larger) but instead singling out women. Maybe a little bit of feeling that women, as a whole, are less capable of making good choices, huh?

Or maybe, just maybe, YOU are looking for reasons to be offended. That last sentence is completely absurd. NOWHERE in his post did he insinuate any such thing. He saw a trend among many women. He posted about it. BIG WHOOP. I'll ask it again: if I, as a woman, had posted this same thread, would you be all up in arms about how sexist I was being? Doubt it. You're only offended because he's a man, and Heaven forbid a man should ever notice anything about a woman that isn't all sunshine and lollipops. He was offering advice for a problem that he sees rampant in this community. Guess what? I see the same problem. And I see it a heck of a lot more with women than with guys.

Take a look in the mirror yourself. Maybe you'll be able to find that chip on your shoulder so you can brush it off.

littlemissanguissette

I only read the first page, but I do agree with the OP. I have to eat 1600 calories a day or my body will go into starvation mode, and then it's pointless to even try losing weight because I'm just screwing my body up.

I think those offended by this post are the ones who are defensive about it because they do this. And it may work for them, but it will not work long term - you'll completely screw up your metabolism.

Strength training and cardio, build those muscles so they can help you burn those calories and the fat.

taletreader

I think those offended by this post are the ones who are defensive about it because they do this.

This is not necessarily true, as the numerous reasoned and measured objections attest. If you had read them, you'd know this.

taletreader

Or maybe, just maybe, YOU are looking for reasons to be offended. That last sentence is completely absurd. NOWHERE in his post did he insinuate any such thing. He saw a trend among many women. He posted about it. BIG WHOOP. I'll ask it again: if I, as a woman, had posted this same thread, would you be all up in arms about how sexist I was being? Doubt it.

A woman who'd have posted the same would also have kinda overlooked the obvious -- it's about the behaviour, not the gender. But at least she wouldn't have been quite as condescending. Plus, there have been any number of men here who have overdone dieting and hit plateaus -- they tend to not quite suffer as much for it, male metabolism helping.

But it matters who says what. Sorry, mansplainers just make my skin crawl, and being a woman (who incidentally does not eat minimal calories, so isn't even in the targetted group), I am entitled to resent that.

Now it isn't a crime to offend me. Minimal harm done. No anger, no sound, no fury... this here is just electrons on a screen after all.

Newfiedan

it certainly got people talking which is good, how they take it good or bad is up to them.

bk2011

bump

Jenni268

I loved the post! What a way to get to the point and explain to people that it's more important to be healthy than just skinny. That is a mindset that I have struggled with all of my life. I want to get to that end result of looking good, no matter what my body has to go through to get there. While I already have been changing my paradigm about weight-loss and healthy living, it was a good affirmation to my lifestyle change.

To jump on the bandwagon about whether or not this was offensive to women: I was not offended. I guess I can see where a woman might look at this and get caught up in the fact that it says "women" in the title. However, if someone chooses to focus on that instead of the contained information, then that is their business. I read the post as someone who wanted to see if there were things I needed to change; as someone who realizes that I do not have all the answers for weight loss and who would like to learn more. I did not read it as a woman, but as a learner. I did not read it realizing a man wrote it. Once I found out that the author was a man, I didn't automatically discard the information.

If you are a man and you know more than me about a subject I do not consider it sexist or offensive if you give me information.

mageepilot

I guess I'm in the 10% of women on this site NOT offended.

im not offended

Ditto! Great post.

taletreader

I am an empathetic person by nature but a straight shooter and yes I fully admit that at times I type or think faster than my thoughts will allow me to correct things. I was a little frustrated when I wrote it after getting about 30 emails from women asking for advice and looking time and again and seeing the common pitfalls made. So i will apologize and admit that I could have worded it differently.

Thank you, that's gracious. And I believe you're fundamentally right, mind you -- I myself don't understand the drive to do this in extremes, and it's surely counterproductive. I've been losing very steadily with a goal set to 1500.

realme56

I'm not offended either. I actually agree that it is probably more prevalent in women then in men. The last time I lost weight (12 years ago ) I got discouraged because I was working out like crazy and eating salad and stir fry veggies and getting nowhere so I would then binge on some stupid food and finally fell back into my old eating patterns.
I hope that this time will stick better and give me the balance that I need.

kimber17

Not offended, in fact ...I could care less who wrote this post... it has helped me! I am def. one of those women have been not eating enough...around 900 calories and working out twice a day for the last 8 months... I have lost 50 pounds... however I have stalled for the last few months and I'm not seeing any changes... Upon research... I find I am not eating nearly enough... thanks for this post... it reassured me that I do need to fuel my body... I have to get my mind into the right place now and stop thinking eating is bad.... so hard...
Thanks so much for the information!

juliapurpletoes

Amen brother - I'm one of the ones who learned this leasson the hard way.....

kdouglas11

Oooh... a hot topic here. Actually, I only eat baout 900 calories a day... and come well below 1200. (ofcourse I did have a gastric sleeve surgery in December, so the thought of eating 1200 calories a day is like ludicrous, I'd be eating all day long!)

In fact though, this is why I do believe you are wrong. It isn't about the calories... true our bodies go into starvation mode if we don't get enough protein. Not only that, our hair falls out, our nails don't grow, and we get sunken, shallow cheeks as well as dark circles around our eyes. I know this, because even though I gagged on my protein initially after surgery, I took it. Thank goodness, I didn't want to lose any hair...as it's my best physical trait, imo.

Anyway, my point is... this is the basis of gastric sleeve surgery. There isn't any malabsorption in this surgery. All the surgeon does is remove most of your stomach, requiring you to eat drastically less, therefore your caloric intake is drastically cut... and ta-da you lose weight while feeling full, etc.

So... that being said... I started my journey in August 2010 with my blood pressure at 194/103 --- went to the doctor... she said... cut your sodium to under 2000 mg a day, exercise 30 minutes 5 days a week... see me in 2 weeks, if you still have high blood pressure, we'll put you on medication. Oh... and I had to cut out caffeine and carbonated beverages too.

I did what she said, my blood pressure was 120/80 and I lost 8 lbs in 2 weeks. I kept doing JUST That. By the time my surgery was scheduled, I'd lost 20+ lbs.

Now, I'm down a total of 62 lbs total. Breaking the 200 mark a few short weeks ago.

How? Sure you can say it was surgery, right? But essentially the only thing surgery has done is made me eat less... a LOT less... with my calorie intake ranging from 600 to 900 calories a day...

So if your theory is right... and it is ALL about calories... why am I down 62 lbs?

Newfiedan

in the extreme cases such as yours there are always exceptions to the rules, and in your case with so much to lose then you can do so safely, but the bulk of the women whom I have seen making this mistake have at most 30 or so to lose. When you are lowered to such an extreme I would be willing to bet that there is a pretty strict diet plan to adhere to ensuring that you are getting the nutrition required and if there is not then I fell sorry for you as you will not succeed long term. I personally believe in a strong work ethic coupled with the right knowledge to achieve maximum results. In extreme cases the rules need to be bent but with the direct supervision of a doc or a nutritionist. It takes a tremendous amount of energy for an overweight person to do daily activities and when you couple that with the right diet then weight loss is inevitable. I did not state that the rule applies to everyone. I have also seen some who have had that very same surgery and have went right back to square one as it addressed the symptom and not the base problem they had to being with.

DatEpicChick

my goal is 1200 calories? why is that a bad thing??