Fit For Future Families - April 2011

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  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    LOL - funny thing. When I have asthma attacks, I use lamaze breathing to get through it (I've been doing it since I was 10. My friend still laughs about walking me to the principal's office to get my rescue inhaler in elementary school and there I'm lamaze breathing). I'm very focused on breathing......mind is willing, flesh is weak :P but not as weak as it was!!!

    Day is gorgeous here! Hope everyone else has a lovely Thursday too.
  • pixieofdoom
    pixieofdoom Posts: 356 Member
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    I used to work in child protection, it's really hard to hear some of that stuff. Talk it through then leave it behind at work/school if you can. It doesn't and shouldn't get easier to hear but it does get easier to separate your home and work to protect yourself.

    Heather, that's so awful, obviously lots of people here love you and want to offer you support and virtual hugs though. At least you know where to come *g*
  • MrsHinds7
    MrsHinds7 Posts: 64
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    My baby fever is getting the best of me today. All of these young girls(high school age) I know keep complaining on facebook this morning about what a pain it is to be having a baby and I'm forcing myself to bite my tongue. I don't know whether I feel like yelling at one of them or crying. It's so frustrating to want something so badly and know that without about $15,000 and really great results, I can't have it, while so many people that absolutely don't want babies are having them. My hubby is coming for lunch so I'm venting now so I don't do it with him. He wants me to tell him how I'm feeling but I try not to express my frustration about this topic because I know he feels guilty and thinks its his fault (even though he most certainly should no!t). Anyways, I'm sure I'll be over it by the afternoon but its just getting to me that after having to fight so hard three times to beat cancer so my husband can be alive to actually have a family, that we can't have one. :( Ok, vent over. I just need to focus on saving money, losing weight and bettering myself so we can provide a healthy lifestyle for our baby(s) when it happens in God's timing. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
  • pixieofdoom
    pixieofdoom Posts: 356 Member
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    Love your positive attitude, despite all your frustration mrs h. A good vent is what gets us all through I guess
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    Vent away - it's what we're here for. I completely understand not wanting to vent to him because of the guilt factor - I'm starting to get the same way. Now that things have been picking up for me.......he's the sole reason (in his mind) and he feels really guilty. He's done way more than I have (I'm not even going to be able to complain about the IVF treatments being invasive since he had surgery to correct........He then feels guilty about feeling guilty and me not wanting to tell him....it's a nutso cycle....I tell you......We try to focus on what needs to get done to get to that next step rather than thinking about what isn't going to happen. It's helped us through a lot :)

    Have a great lunch with DH!!!
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    Heather!! We still gotcha girl! I'm so sorry to hear that your hubby will be away longer....booooo. You can post here anytime you want---we'll listen.

    Pam--breathe girl, breathe!!! You have to be able to breathe if you want to have a baby. Haha.

    Ashley-welcome!

    Luki-Stress go away! I agree--one day, one hour, one minute at at time, ok?

    AFM: Tomorrow I weigh in. We'll see what the scale says. Then, I go to work for a few hours, drop my son off at my parent's house, and start a mini-staycation with my hubby, where I will probably undo any good work that shows up tomorrow morning. I got a groupon deal for a local hotel, so we are going to stay there, and just spend tonight and tomorrow doing whatever we want,and probably not watching what I eat. Well, I'll be watching it, go right into my mouth!! I'm excited--it'll be the first time both of us have been away overnight (crazy, huh?) since Josh was born. In possibly related news, it is that time of the month for a possible "O". Hubby says we have to try our best this weekend...it's our last chance to do this before it starts costing a lot of money. Haha. I'm not getting my hopes up....but being at a hotel with champagne and strawberries can't hurt, right?

    In unrelated news, hubby told his parents last night about our baby saga. So, now both sets of parents know. I don't know if that will make it easier or harder, but at least it's out there now with all of them, so it's not like they all are going "what's going on with them". I'm taking Josh over there later today to make empenadas with a family friend who is coming over. My only hope is that we will have to leave before they are done...otherwise there is no way I'm going to be able to resist those. We'll see. Either way, it'll be a win. Haha!

    Happy Thursday Ladies!

    LOL We had a girls night out about a month ago and my sister was pretty trashed before we even went out. She offered me a glass of wine, but it was during my 2WW and I didn't want to risk it so I declined. In her "not quite clear" speech she stated very matter of factly that I shouldn't decline alcohol because we were trying to have babies...."don't you know, this (holding up the wine bottle) is how MOST babies are made?" Made my night........Toast up with the champagne!!! If the margaritas didn't work, maybe the champagne will....it certainly won't hurt!!!
  • kah78
    kah78 Posts: 391 Member
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    My baby fever is getting the best of me today. All of these young girls(high school age) I know keep complaining on facebook this morning about what a pain it is to be having a baby and I'm forcing myself to bite my tongue. I don't know whether I feel like yelling at one of them or crying. It's so frustrating to want something so badly and know that without about $15,000 and really great results, I can't have it, while so many people that absolutely don't want babies are having them. My hubby is coming for lunch so I'm venting now so I don't do it with him. He wants me to tell him how I'm feeling but I try not to express my frustration about this topic because I know he feels guilty and thinks its his fault (even though he most certainly should no!t). Anyways, I'm sure I'll be over it by the afternoon but its just getting to me that after having to fight so hard three times to beat cancer so my husband can be alive to actually have a family, that we can't have one. :( Ok, vent over. I just need to focus on saving money, losing weight and bettering myself so we can provide a healthy lifestyle for our baby(s) when it happens in God's timing. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

    It's so hard! Teenagers, friends, that person who already has more kids than they want and then whoops--I'm pregnant again--it's really hard when you are on the other side of that fence looking over. Sigh. Deep breath. You and your husband have already overcome so much adversity to get where you are--I have absolute faith that this trial too will resolve itself in time. It just sucks to be in the "in between" time...doesn't it?
  • DianaRaye155
    DianaRaye155 Posts: 2
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    Hi! I am new here. My fiance and I have been TTC for 2 months. We will be getting married June 4th and are ready to start a family. I thought it would be nice to talk to people who are on the same journey. I look forward to being part of the group! Baby dust to all!!
  • MrsHinds7
    MrsHinds7 Posts: 64
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    Kah, I think you really hit it on the head. It's that in-between time that gets me. But I also realize that there are many couples who have waited a VERY long time for their families so I am greatful that we are just starting the process. I feel like once we do have a child, we will appreciate it so much more and truly understand what a blessing it is to have a child.

    On a happy note, the hubby and I had a GREAT conversation last night! We really got to communicate our feelings about the whole process and it was really great to understand how each other feels. Until last night, we had all of our cards on the table to consider as far as options. Since we are still in "the process" of saving money we were still considering both IVF and adoption because they will be equally expensive. On one hand, with IVF we could have our own child but we could save all that money and have the embryo not take. On the other hand, we could adopt and be "guaranteed" (eventually) a child but it wouldn't be our biological child. So, we were exploring all of our options. We had chosen Lifetime Adoption Agency as our focus on that side of the choices in order to get more information and really figure out what we wanted to do. They had a teleconference last night about the 3 main things that you need to know before adopting through their agency, and after listening, the hubby and I had a great discussion about what we really wanted, and we BOTH realized that we aren't ready to consider adoption. We both like the idea of adopting, but when it comes down to it, we really want to exhaust our options trying for our own baby before going that route. For me it was really that I realized that I wouldn't be able to handle the jealousy of the birthmom getting to carry the baby and experience the pregnancy and the ultrasounds...for the hubby, I think he was afraid of taking responsibility of "someone else's" child withot "practicing" on our own, and he felt like he wanted adoption to be a final option, even in terms of having kids after having a biological child. We even took the conversation as far as when we would decide it was time to try adoption and what ages we would consider. Anyways, it was a great, honest conversation and for now, adoption is officially of the table so our official focus is IVF. I think it really always was, but it's OFFICIAL now :) Yay!!!
  • MrsHinds7
    MrsHinds7 Posts: 64
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    Ok so I know I just posted, but I am SO excited! My husband's aunt works for a company that does teacher training, creates helpful teaching products, does conferences, etc. So anyways, my hubby helps out with the conferences about once a year when they come to town and the ladies have really taken a liking to him (my husband is a "funny guy" and a big charmer). Anyways, one of the ladies just commented on the facebook page where I post updates on his cancer progress and said that they wanted to let us know that they are putting together a big silent auction when they come into town for the conference, and all the proceeds are going to go toward helping us afford a baby!!! I'm so excited that I dont know whether to jump up and down and cry. It's amazing how kind and generous people are :)
  • kah78
    kah78 Posts: 391 Member
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    Ok so I know I just posted, but I am SO excited! My husband's aunt works for a company that does teacher training, creates helpful teaching products, does conferences, etc. So anyways, my hubby helps out with the conferences about once a year when they come to town and the ladies have really taken a liking to him (my husband is a "funny guy" and a big charmer). Anyways, one of the ladies just commented on the facebook page where I post updates on his cancer progress and said that they wanted to let us know that they are putting together a big silent auction when they come into town for the conference, and all the proceeds are going to go toward helping us afford a baby!!! I'm so excited that I dont know whether to jump up and down and cry. It's amazing how kind and generous people are :)

    I've got tears! Thanks for sharing that with us! What a pick-me-up after a down time. Yay!!!!! I don't know what else to say. God's hands are our hands....I love it when people use them to help others. So.happy.for.you. Enjoy those happy endorphins!!!
  • jalara
    jalara Posts: 2,622 Member
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    Mrs H - Congrats on all the great news!!!! It's really wonderful that you and DH had a good, healthy talk, and it sounds like you really worked towards some answers! And the silent auction news is OUTSTANDING!

    AFM - I spent yesterday (and all this week) on studying, and now I'm off to write a Mental Health exam and I'm finally going to make it to the gym!! I'm all packed and ready to go :) It's been to long!

    Yesterday I dropped off all the paperwork for our formal adoption application, and I'm super happy, although as I understand this is when the first waiting period comes in - like a year or more of waiting! Ugh..... oh well. But as I was leaving a ran into my friend's sister, who has a really big mouth - she works in the same building. When she asked what I was doing there I just said "paperwork" and hurried the conversation along. Hopefully she won't speculate and will keep quiet.

    I'm also starting to feel like I'm "over" the enthusiasm of TTC... had anyone else felt like this? I'm done temping, done OPKs, done everything...I'm just taking the Clomid and having sex. I just feel OVER it - it's been so many months (started in June last year, took 2 months off for the wedding, restarted). I'm feeling pretty hopeless about it. I'm just not excited about it right now. Is that normal?
  • 80lbslost
    80lbslost Posts: 93 Member
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    Hi Everyone!

    I was hoping to join your forum. My name is Sylvia and I'll be 39 next month. I'm married with 2 boys ages 12 and soon to be 8. I'm having a tubal ligation reversal on May 4th so I'll be officially ttc the end of May. Has anyone else had a reversal? Initially, my main reason for the reversal was because I've had terrible physical and hormonal problems after the tubal ligation 6 years ago and I heard that a reversal will alleviate the symptoms. However, now my hubby and I are excited about the possibility of adding a little one to our family and then possibly adopting in a couple of years (I'm a former social worker so I've always had a heart for foster children). So here I am almost 40 and wanting more children and sometimes I think, "What am I getting myself into?" But I just keep reminding myself that I'm healthier than I was 20 years ago and have a wonderfully supportive husband, so I can do this! I'm looking forward to continuing down the path of health with my family and sharing my journey with others. :smile:
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    First off, welcome to HelloBeautiful & Sylvia. You'll see a very supportive group here. (Sylvia, we did have a lady that had the tubal ligation and was now doing IVF, but she hasn't posted for a while)

    Now onto updates:
    Mrs. H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO AMAZING. I'm sitting here at the office doing a little happy dance for you. It is amazing when the community recognizes a truly deserving couple and bands together to help them. I'm amazed daily at the graciousness and kindness of people around us :)

    Jalara - ALL THE TIME!!!! LOL People that haven't been TTC for a long time dont' understand how crazy it is to be so over it. I personally think that every 4 months of trying deserves a break.......it'll keep the romance alive. Have you tried SMEP? It might be less stressful than temping and all that jazz (just start on day 10 and go every other day until you are sure you've o'd - which could be Day 1 of next cycle). I've found that it has kept me sane....I certainly haven't temped every month since 2001.....LOL And then take a break every couple of months and get completely off schedule - you'll find that you have a renewed appreciation for not being on a schedule and just having fun :)
  • jalara
    jalara Posts: 2,622 Member
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    Thanks Pam, it's really good to know I'm not alone - really. I've been feeling like a bit of a bad wife since I'm not enthusiastic about it anymore. Like... "I'm not pregnant again? Meh - okay. So what's for dinner?" It's a bit rough, and I know I want to be a mommy and I'm ready to be a mommy but I'm just not feeling like it'll be happening for us anytime soon. I can't believe it's almost May and I'm not pregnant yet... seriously? How the he11? I should have HAD a baby by now!

    Home from the exam... passed and that class is o.v.e.r.. Had a good burn at the gym too (yay). DH and I have a date night tonight - dinner and a (high school) production of Grease. He laughed when I told him I got the tickets... it's from his old high school and he thought it was hilarious! I thought it would be fun.
  • MrsHinds7
    MrsHinds7 Posts: 64
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    Hi HelloBeautiful & Sylvia! Welcome to the group!!

    Jalara, have fun tonight! You deserve it!!

    And thanks for all the support and excitement from everyone!! :) Kah, you are so right! I spent a long time praying about our decision last night and then about moving forward and saving for IVF this morning and then when I read that message, I just knew that we were blessed and that God was truly working through the people who care for us!
  • lukimakamai
    lukimakamai Posts: 498 Member
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    So much exciting news to respond too and no time...
    Wanted to drop off a quick note before disappear from the board til Sunday afternoon...
    The Immigration meeting went awesome! The lady was very nice said my husband fully qualifies and should already been a citizen (which we knew but it was glad to hear she agreed with us.) We have to fill out one form (yes, only one form :bigsmile: ) and pay some money and from the time we submit it should onlu take two months. WHOO HOO so by the end of June we should have his certificate! So very excited!!!!
    I'm leaving ready when I finish this to go on the retreat with my college girl friends (we do it annual and should LOADS of fun)
    So I'll be back on Sunday!!!
    Again sorry I can't respond to everyone but VERY EXCITED FOR EVERYONE'S GOOD NEWS! and welcome newbies!!!
  • focusedfrances
    focusedfrances Posts: 42 Member
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    According to our fertility clinic, I have lost 4lbs officially!! I am so proud. I am praying 26 more will help the Menopur work on my body.
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,086 Member
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    YAY LUKI!!!! That's amazing news....Hopefully in two months you can put all of this behind you and move forward!!! One less stress!


    Syn - that is also amazing news - 4lbs is a great accomplishment!!! Sounds like you're definitely focused and ready to get 'er done!!!

    AFM - We bought a beautiful Cymbidiam (orchid) yesterday. It's about 3 feet tall so driving home, I had it between my feet int he passenger side. We stopped at another store and I tried to get out without having to move it - why don't I think these things through...Next thing you know, my herniated disc is sending fireworks both UP by back to my head and DOWN my leg........it took DH about 3 minutes to figure out I hadn't followed into the store and come back out and movee the orchid (I couldn't from my position) so I hobbled into the store, got my rebate (had bought some roses and they went on sale the next day.......LOL Only me). Anyways, I came home and realized I couldn't sit on the couch or any of the chairs in the house - I'd get halfway down and there'd be the fireworks......So I went upstairs to lie in bed and watch TV. Weird thing is, that was at 7pm and I'm pretty sure I crashed right then and there. I just woke up - so it was another 12 hour sleep and I didn't even think I was tired......I don't even know if my DH went to help a friend with her Wii Fit last night like he was supposed to. I haven't spoken with him since dinner last night.....LOL

    Plans today to help a friend do some shopping and then make her sister's bridal centrepieces. Tomorrow I have my 10K charity walk..then my sister is going to come with me to return my too big pants (yay!) and then she wants to go to the movies.....LOL So I hope my back is up for all this walking!!!!
  • 80lbslost
    80lbslost Posts: 93 Member
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    Thanks for the welcome! I have my pre-op appt. for my tubal ligation reversal this Tuesday. I'm praying everything goes well and that the doctor doesn't find any fibroids or cysts! Hope everyone enjoys the sun this weekend.

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