Pregnancy 2011 - April

LynnW52

I know I'm super new on here, and I don't really "know" you all that well yet, but I'm really stressing out and I don't have any "real life" friends to talk to. BF is making me crazy. He thinks I got pregnant on purpose. How do you even do that? He KNEW I wasn't on birth control, and he never wears a condom, not in almost the entire time we've been together. He told me today that I've been begging and begging for a baby for ever and congratulations, I got what I wanted. He's not ready for a baby. He's so scared and stressed out that he's being short and snippy and cold. I told him on Sunday, and intitially, he was fantastic. He took it so much better than I expected. But every day since Monday has been worse than the day before. I don't think I've had a single tear-free day all week.

Yesterday he even brought up abortion. He has always said he's against abortion and that a child is a person from conception and abortion is murder, but he definitely brought it up. I'm sorry, but I am NOT aborting my baby. What am I supposed to do? Will the psychosis go away? Did anyone else's significant other freak all the way out? I can't handle much more of this!

It sounds like it's time for a serious talk with him. I can understand the normal amount of stress, nerves, panic, etc. from Dad, but he is taking it way to far IMO.

It's not fair for him to accuse you of getting pregnant on purpose. It doesn't sound like he was doing anything to prevent pregnancy either. He knows how babies are made, right? So he has no excuse and certainly no reason at all to blame it on you.

Only you know every aspect of your situation, so my opinion really doesn't matter, and of course most things are easier said than done. But I feel like him stressing you out like this (blaming you, saying hurtful and resentful things, suggesting you have an abortion) is certainly not a healthy way to handle the situation. If he keeps it up, I would say this: "If you're not ready for a baby, then you're not ready to be with me, because I am having a baby, a baby that I love and can raise by myself if I have to" and leave it at that. That will certainly get him thinking and hopefully he will realize that his words are hurtful to you and he will start to settle down and be accepting of it.

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, and I truly hope that his attitude turns around.

dragonfly74

Hi everyone!

I need to get caught up on today's posts.

I had posted this a lot earlier and no idea why but it isn't showing up. I had another appointment today and I am 4cm dilated and still 50% effaced. Also, I lost 1.2 lbs over the past week!

He will induce me on Wednesday (hate the date of the 13th and his first birthday will be on Friday the 13th) if I don't go sooner. Oddly enough I am hoping to hold out until Wednesday and that way everything is "planned." Otherwise, I just go too quickly to feel any comfort with it hitting me by surprise. My doctor believes I will go before then though but who knows.

Now it is time to catch up.

Hopefully you all are having a great Friday.

sthorp1179

Ok my last post for a bit, but I have a random TMI type of question. So I know that hemorrhoids are common in pregnancy. My MIL and many friends have had them and warned me about them. They are the one thing I am absolutely dreading and hoping I don't get. It just creeps me out, I guess, since I've never had them before. I try to eat foods that keep me regular and drink lots of water. I try to sleep on my left side, though most of the night I sleep on my right. Anything to keep them from appearing. The other night I woke up and had been sleeping on my back for god knows how long. I get up to go pee and my butt hurts! It happened again last night too. I'm worried that they are getting ready to make their appearance. Anybody have to deal with them yet? Were there warning signs? I'm sure they're easy enough to treat and should go away shortly after giving birth, but one of my friends still has them a year later.

OK, I don't want to freak you out, but...I got them while pregnant with my daughter and 4 1/2 years later I still have them! Tbh I never really had any treatment for them apart from witch hazel gel which is very soothing. The only problem you MAY get is after the delivery where they may swell and make an appearance "externally" which is uncomfortable and kinda feels like you're sitting on a bunch of grapes - I know totally gross! They do go down with time and retreat but you will always have them unless you get them removed by your dr. They shouldn't cause you any problems unless you get constipated or you get pregnant again. I have been prescribed lactulose by my dr for the constipation (and it softens the stool as well as a mild laxative).


Kacylaine - Sorry you're having a hard time with your BF. It isn't always easy to accept the fact you're going to become a parent especially if a baby hasn't been discussed beforehand or planned. That said it takes two to tango and if he knew as well as you that you were having unprotected sex and a baby could happen anytime then its a joint responsibility.

I hope that things work out for you both once he has had a chance to calm down and accept he is going to be a daddy. I'm sure we are all here for you to talk to about any feelings you may have, theres a lot of wise women on here lol

dragonfly74

Ok my last post for a bit, but I have a random TMI type of question. So I know that hemorrhoids are common in pregnancy. My MIL and many friends have had them and warned me about them. They are the one thing I am absolutely dreading and hoping I don't get. It just creeps me out, I guess, since I've never had them before. I try to eat foods that keep me regular and drink lots of water. I try to sleep on my left side, though most of the night I sleep on my right. Anything to keep them from appearing. The other night I woke up and had been sleeping on my back for god knows how long. I get up to go pee and my butt hurts! It happened again last night too. I'm worried that they are getting ready to make their appearance. Anybody have to deal with them yet? Were there warning signs? I'm sure they're easy enough to treat and should go away shortly after giving birth, but one of my friends still has them a year later.

I never had them until the birth of my first daughter (not during the pregnancy though). Then got another with my second and who knows how many I have now. I have issues with them when pregnant and right after labor now. Seems like I have one for each child :blushing:

mwilson1018

Hi everyone!

I need to get caught up on today's posts.

I had posted this a lot earlier and no idea why but it isn't showing up. I had another appointment today and I am 4cm dilated and still 50% effaced. Also, I lost 1.2 lbs over the past week!

He will induce me on Wednesday (hate the date of the 13th and his first birthday will be on Friday the 13th) if I don't go sooner. Oddly enough I am hoping to hold out until Wednesday and that way everything is "planned." Otherwise, I just go too quickly to feel any comfort with it hitting me by surprise. My doctor believes I will go before then though but who knows.

Now it is time to catch up.

Hopefully you all are having a great Friday.

Woo hoo! The idea of the planned and knowing exactly when things are going to happen is very enticing to me, but considering I don't want epidural or other things I'm just going to wait it out. If Annabelle hasn't come by Wednesday (your induction day) then the doctor will schedule an induction for the following week. Hopefully she won't make us wait that long though. Great job on the weight loss!

mwilson1018

Thanks, Sheri for the encouraging words! :flowerforyou:

AnneElise

Danielle- finding out is SO exciting. I can’t wait for you!

Bethe- so soon! Next Wednesday could be your day. I am sure your LO will come at the perfect time… for LO of course ;D I am hoping that your dr. gave you some good advice for your anxiety.

Megan- You are going to do amazing at labor…. I know easier said than done! I can say that but I already have panic moments!

Heather- I am right with you lady on the weight gain. I feel huge lately.

Brittony- We did an FHA loan too! 3% down and a lot of places you can get the seller to pay for the closing costs on the home. You do have to get a more picky inspection with FHA and have pretty good credit. We were able to buy much sooner than we thought… we were renting a 1 bedroom apt. and now pay 100 dollars more a month to own our 3 bd home! Oh and congrats on being in the 3rd trimester!

Ron- I like maternity pants… I think you look better in them then stuffing into the old ones that don’t fit… haha at least that was true for me! I had to wear maternity pants at 12 weeks… shirts at like 17.

Amanda- You aren’t being crazy. I understand your emotions on what you are trying to say. It can be frustrating.

Sthorp- glad you are still feeling really good

Welcome Shawna!

Kacylaine- I am sorry you are going through this. I like the others think you need to tell him that he needs to be supportive of you and if he can’t be he should keep it to himself. This is not a time for you to be stressed out in this way. If he wasn’t ready for a baby he shouldn’t be have unprotected sex. Flat out. Sorry you are dealing with this :C

Sheri- LOVE your new picture. So cute!

Lynn- You are in the third trimester too! Congrats!

AFM: I had my dr. apt today… as I thought I gained 8 lbs this month. Yes 8. My dr. isn’t worried about it and told me I shouldn’t be either as I have now only gained about 10 lbs total. My stomach grew a lot this month in measurements and she said she thinks the weight gain was needed. She did tell me to try to focus on about 1 lb a week from now on. She confirmed that baby looked awesome at the last US though she did tell me that my placenta is the in front and that it would make it so I might feel baby a little less than others might. She said I can try medication for the puking if I want or I can just tough it out… I have tried all the meds before and they didn’t work so I am going to hold off. She said as long as I am gaining it’s fine. Basically a pretty good apt besides for how huge I feel.

Oh and non-pregnancy related but HUGE JOY as a teacher... I have been working with a girl who is AMAZING to get a scholarship (all her teachers have)... and we found out today she got it... it pays for all 4 years of college, any school or her choice that she gets accepted too, it pays room and board, extra spending money, books, and a computer! and this girl deserves it! I was SOOOO excited... one of those moments that make teaching so awesome.

hkystar

It's Friday, thank God! Tomorrow I really can hibernate!

I know I'm super new on here, and I don't really "know" you all that well yet, but I'm really stressing out and I don't have any "real life" friends to talk to. BF is making me crazy. He thinks I got pregnant on purpose. How do you even do that? He KNEW I wasn't on birth control, and he never wears a condom, not in almost the entire time we've been together. He told me today that I've been begging and begging for a baby for ever and congratulations, I got what I wanted. He's not ready for a baby. He's so scared and stressed out that he's being short and snippy and cold. I told him on Sunday, and intitially, he was fantastic. He took it so much better than I expected. But every day since Monday has been worse than the day before. I don't think I've had a single tear-free day all week.

Yesterday he even brought up abortion. He has always said he's against abortion and that a child is a person from conception and abortion is murder, but he definitely brought it up. I'm sorry, but I am NOT aborting my baby. What am I supposed to do? Will the psychosis go away? Did anyone else's significant other freak all the way out? I can't handle much more of this!

And why isn't my ticker working?! Aaagghh!

That really just sucks that he is talking like that. He might just need a little time to get used to the idea. Its kinda scary if you arent expecting it. I hope he comes around soon and can be a supportive partner.

dmdaigle17

Thanks everyone! It's so hard to wait in general but when you get so close to it it def. gets 10x worse with the anticipation! Once we know then we can reallllly start planning and everything *Swoon*

I found out today that my cousin (who is 3 weeks ahead of me) is going to be admitted to the hospital in 2 weeks. She found out just last week that she has an incompetent cervix, which typically they just give you a stitch and tell you to take it easy. But, I guess at this point they can not put the stitch in because there are membranes from the baby that are right at her cervix and where the cervix is only measuring 1centimeter there is too much of a risk of the stitch rupturing them. Could you imagine having to spend the SECOND HALF, 20 WEEKS, of your pregnancy in the hospital?! :noway:
So if you could please keep her and her baby girl in your thoughts/prayers. She had 2 miscarriages prior to so, this baby is a blessing and everyday that she stays in her Momma until she's at the hospital is a blessing as well.

kaymd

I was wondering if I could join this supportive group? I found out March 26th that I was pregnant with my 4th baby!! Kinda unexpected and I cried for three days straight but I keep telling my hubby he/she is a blessing in disguise. We have to put an addition on to our house to make room for the baby too...kinda financially scary! I think we will be okay just a little scared of having 4.

kacylaine

I was wondering if I could join this supportive group? I found out March 26th that I was pregnant with my 4th baby!! Kinda unexpected and I cried for three days straight but I keep telling my hubby he/she is a blessing in disguise. We have to put an addition on to our house to make room for the baby too...kinda financially scary! I think we will be okay just a little scared of having 4.

Welcome! And AMAZING weight loss!

MisdemeanorM

had my dr. apt today… as I thought I gained 8 lbs this month. Yes 8. My dr. isn’t worried about it and told me I shouldn’t be either as I have now only gained about 10 lbs total.

I gained about 8 lbs i the 6 weeks after my back surgery - so that was right about the same time as you now. Granted I didn't eat all that great and I was super inactive (other than moving), but I hadn't gained anything but maybe 3 lbs before 18 weeks either so it was rough to see that big jump! I'm up 20 currently. It's just about all been in the last 10 weeks or so. I'm hoping for no more than another 8 and now that I'm back in the gym I'm thinking I might see it dip a little bit then go back up. I'd be very happy ending just 5 more lbs up # wise. We'll see!

MisdemeanorM

We have to put an addition on to our house to make room for the baby too...kinda financially scary! I think we will be okay just a little scared of having 4.

You'd be surprised! We made it over a year in 350 sq feet with 2 adults, a dog, and a baby before financially we could move somewhere larger! Depending on how crowded the 5 of you already are though!

Mamatoabunch

We have to put an addition on to our house to make room for the baby too...kinda financially scary! I think we will be okay just a little scared of having 4.

You'd be surprised! We made it over a year in 350 sq feet with 2 adults, a dog, and a baby before financially we could move somewhere larger! Depending on how crowded the 5 of you already are though!

I agree! Baby will be in our room for quite a while.

AmyMooreOrLess

We have to put an addition on to our house to make room for the baby too...kinda financially scary! I think we will be okay just a little scared of having 4.

You'd be surprised! We made it over a year in 350 sq feet with 2 adults, a dog, and a baby before financially we could move somewhere larger! Depending on how crowded the 5 of you already are though!

I agree! Baby will be in our room for quite a while.

Yep, 11 month old is STILL with us in our room (in a Pack and Play). Luckily he sleeps hard. 7pm - 7am. Our two year renovations (100 year old house from a complete gut) are nearly done. We'll move upstairs in a couple of weeks where my one year old's nursey anxiously awaits...to be shared with this new baby coming in September! Haha!

Amazing what you can do in a small one-bedroom space with limited baby items! I thought we'd be out of this space shortly after we got married in time for Baby #1 to come along. Only one year behind schedule. :ohwell:

RFrick

I was wondering if I could join this supportive group? I found out March 26th that I was pregnant with my 4th baby!! Kinda unexpected and I cried for three days straight but I keep telling my hubby he/she is a blessing in disguise. We have to put an addition on to our house to make room for the baby too...kinda financially scary! I think we will be okay just a little scared of having 4.

Hey!!! So glad you made it to our group! This is an amazingly fun bunch of ladies and just let me warn you that becoming addicted to this board is quite possible. Just so everyone else knows - kaymd has been an inspiration to me ever since I found this site. She's wonderful and I know that she's going to do great with her pregnancy, too. :flowerforyou:

pmaria10

Warning emotional rant!

Today is not my day. First of all i had to fork over about 80% of my pay check to pay bills, There was so much stress at work today, It's a windy day AGAIN, and worst of all DH is out of town all weekend. I think i'm just really getting anxious on how we will make it financially after our LO arrives, we've been used to two incomes for as long as we've been married and I would really love to be a SAHM for a bit. I'm not sure if we could make it on one income it's just a scary thought. I teared up twice today but caught myself both times. Anyone else feel the same way? Or felt this way before your first but it all worked for the better? I'm sure it does i just need to be positive.

Plus side my LO is 26 weeks today.

AnneElise

I was wondering if I could join this supportive group? I found out March 26th that I was pregnant with my 4th baby!! Kinda unexpected and I cried for three days straight but I keep telling my hubby he/she is a blessing in disguise. We have to put an addition on to our house to make room for the baby too...kinda financially scary! I think we will be okay just a little scared of having 4.

Welcome! Glad you can join us!

Danielle- Prayers for your cousin and her LO.

Mel- I am hoping my weight gain looks like what you describe.

911girl- I love your new picture. SOOOO cute.

Pmaria- sorry you are feeling stressed, I get like that sometimes but sadly for me being a SAHM isn't an option. Congrats on 26 weeks, I am exactly 3 weeks behind you.

MisdemeanorM

Warning emotional rant!

Today is not my day. First of all i had to fork over about 80% of my pay check to pay bills,

I feel ya! Paying rent kills me! 90% of my one of 2 paychecks goes just to rent! The other one goes to everything else. It's always in my account for less than a day. SAHM is out of the question here, though i am "lucky" (I often use the term loosely as it's sort of a massive pain in the *kitten*!) to work from home.

kaymd

I was wondering if I could join this supportive group? I found out March 26th that I was pregnant with my 4th baby!! Kinda unexpected and I cried for three days straight but I keep telling my hubby he/she is a blessing in disguise. We have to put an addition on to our house to make room for the baby too...kinda financially scary! I think we will be okay just a little scared of having 4.

Hey!!! So glad you made it to our group! This is an amazingly fun bunch of ladies and just let me warn you that becoming addicted to this board is quite possible. Just so everyone else knows - kaymd has been an inspiration to me ever since I found this site. She's wonderful and I know that she's going to do great with her pregnancy, too. :flowerforyou:

Thank you so much! I love this site and all the amazing supportive people on here. You will have a fit and healthy pregnancy too! When is your due date?