Facts about Chuck Norris:

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Replies

  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
    When Bruce Banner becomes angry, he becomes the Hulk -- when the Hulk becomes angry, he becomes Chuck Norris....


    The Bogy man hides in the closet from Chuck Norris.
  • Emdicio
    Emdicio Posts: 270 Member
    Here's one for the OP....

    If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off

    Tag Team.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China
  • Emdicio
    Emdicio Posts: 270 Member
    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked her into a glacier.
  • amylynne26
    amylynne26 Posts: 195 Member
    The Lord said "let there be light". Chuck Norris said "Say Please"

    :noway: SOOOOOOO wrong..... but it was horrifically funny out of the mouth of my 13 year old....
  • Emdicio
    Emdicio Posts: 270 Member
    If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in a dream....you DIE!
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris's sweat.
  • Emdicio
    Emdicio Posts: 270 Member
    chucknorrisfacts_20070830110946.jpg
  • mholmes
    mholmes Posts: 949 Member
    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: You guys are killin' me!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
    when Chuck Norris goes to the DMV....they wait for him....


    sigh...its all I got...:grumble:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

    Gonna get me fired for :laugh: :laugh: out loud in my cubicle!
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    :laugh: :laugh:
    Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
    There is no theory of evoluton.

    Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.:noway:
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
    Chuck Norris does not sleep...He waits.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time?

    Answer: Chuck Norris.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a mountain and turned it into the Grand Canyon.
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
    Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris sometimes wears brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it.

    Ever.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep
  • Emdicio
    Emdicio Posts: 270 Member
    Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris sometimes wears brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it.

    Ever.

    I love that one! :laugh:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your butt, don’t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
  • greysweatshirt
    greysweatshirt Posts: 411
    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • vegasmellie
    vegasmellie Posts: 118 Member
    these are great! are you guys making them up? I'm impressed! :laugh:
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