girls who like bad boys.
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is there not a saying about "nice guys coming 2nd" ????
Their girlfriends probably appreciate that....
.... just sayin'
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is there not a saying about "nice guys coming 2nd" ????
Their girlfriends probably appreciate that....
.... just sayin'
FM !!!!!! hahahah0 -
When I was younger, I loved bad boys. I blame Han Solo.
I outgrew it, though.0 -
Why do we like bad boys? Do we like the sweet, cute boy down the street that would do anything for us? No. We like the boy that has the tattoos, a motocycle, and checks out other girls. He doesn’t call for a week, but then when he does… woah, that’s all we need, and we drop the nice, clean-cut boy who's waiting on you hand and foot. You know the one I’m talking about. The one that you have a hot, sexy 3 month, rendezvous with and then all of a sudden he’s dating his ex-girlfriend stripper? Maybe it’s all about attraction. Why cant we be attracted to the nice guy who’s good for us?
No, seriously I want an answer, not a rhetorical question.
This i actually know. I have done some vast studies on this exact topic in college and my brother actually wrote a psychological journal on this for Loyola University.
it's pretty easy. Men as well as women want what they cant have and want to change what is a challenge. It's the carnal instinct in all of us.
Best book to fully explain this topic is called "The Mating Mind" by Geoffrey Miller. I used to be a bad boy and never understood why. I tried to change myself to the "nice" guy as I felt like being the "bad boy" was not a good trait but ultimately if you are an alpha male it is instinctual to act as such.
I also own a bike and love my tats....weird0 -
is there not a saying about "nice guys coming 2nd" ????
Their girlfriends probably appreciate that....
.... just sayin'
FM !!!!!! hahahah
Yes we do appreciate that! The saying is "Nice guys finish last"!0 -
OK this is what I think. The "bad boy" types project an air of confidence and that can be pretty intoxicating. The irony is that sometimes they are deeply insecure and that's why they might mistreat women/seek to make themselves feel good by getting a lot of attention from a lot of women. That attention makes them seem more desirable, self assured, sexy etc.
A little bit of a viscous circle but something about that self assuredness is a big part of the sex appeal IMHO. Nothing like it.
This is also true. I will use this as an example. The richest men in the world you would assume are Alpha males but most of them are not. They have acted out in such a way to become the most successful they can be out of shear fear of being a failure. That also holds true for Bad Boys/Alpha Males, they act arrogant & cocky to cover up their own insecurities and some mask it well, VERY WELL.0 -
Cause it's the mystery of the unknown.... And I'm going to get in trouble for this but most girls like to be treated like crap. they like something to complain about they like the drama. Bottom line chicks are dumb sometimes.
What utter nonsense! :laugh:0 -
I used to like 'bad boys'... but it wasn't at all because I was attracted to the 'bad' aspect. 'Bad' boys typically are wonderful charmers. The kinds that say all the right things, do all the right things, pretend to be interested in everything you have to say until they have gotten all they want from you. Then you start to notice who they really are because they start to let their guard slip.
When it comes to picking men you know are bad, its probably because a lot of us women have the 'fix it' syndrome. We are convinced we can be the ones to change said man, when the truth is- They can only decide to change for themselves.
A lot of women grow out of it after being used or abused by some of these a-holes, some women are not as lucky. You need to pick a partner based on who they are right then, and not expect any major changes to happen. Its basically the same concept as if you are not attracted to brunettes, but you decide to date one hoping they will dye their hair blonde (although I don't know anyone who does this- because its STUPID-which is my point :P).
My boyfriend now is a total sweetheart. He would do anything for me and frankly is a complete dork. He loved me when I was thicker, he loves me now as I am getting thinner, and he would never stray. He appreciates and respects me, which is the most amazing quality in a man. I guess I just finally grew out of my 'need to fix' and found someone that was already pretty awesome
Basically, with a combination of maturity and some harsh life lessons, I think you will grow out of it. Men grow out of being jerks too, at least most of them. If I were you I would focus on YOURSELF right now. Don't worry about dating and allow yourself to mature and figure out what you want in a partner. Its hard not to acquire some baggage from 'bad boy-good girl' relationships, like trust issues etc, so if I were you stay away from men in general.
Also, a note to men- especially the nice guys:
NOT all women necessarily like 'bad' boys, but we also don't want you to be too introverted and awkward, either. Its truly difficult finding a balance where there is the right amount of bad (we like bad in areas such as the bedroom), and the right amount a good. We want someone who respects and appreciates us without losing qualities that make him manly. We don't want a push over and we crave the need to feel protected. Try to find your balance, because it is such a rare find... and biology usually wins us over when we pick the bad boy over the toooo good boy because the bad boy fills our biological needs- which history typically shows us biological needs win out almost all of the time over emotional needs. Try to be an emotional fulfiller and still be a man
Okay, enough said! 0 -
Not all guys who look like "bad boys" are bad boys. So it is always best to judge after you meet someone. I always like to keep a few around because they fit more my personality. But I have married a few good guys. So it looks like I just like Men!0
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is there not a saying about "nice guys coming 2nd" ????
Yes there is, it was created by bad boys who needed to pump themselves up. Being a nice guy, I finished first and always will. I know many nice guys that did so as well. However I know far more "bad guys" that have nothing to show for with either never being married or multiple marriages and/or a failed marriage. I deal with "bad boys" all of the time, guys with attitudes who think the world owes them something, that they are really tough. Trust me, these guys, they cry in cells more then any woman has.
A douche is a douche. A guy with confidence is not a bad guy, it is a guy confident. Cockiness however I find a little is good, too much is a douche ... and a douche is a douche.0 -
I used to like 'bad boys'... but it wasn't at all because I was attracted to the 'bad' aspect. 'Bad' boys typically are wonderful charmers. The kinds that say all the right things, do all the right things, pretend to be interested in everything you have to say until they have gotten all they want from you. Then you start to notice who they really are because they start to let their guard slip.
When it comes to picking men you know are bad, its probably because a lot of us women have the 'fix it' syndrome. We are convinced we can be the ones to change said man, when the truth is- They can only decide to change for themselves.
A lot of women grow out of it after being used or abused by some of these a-holes, some women are not as lucky. You need to pick a partner based on who they are right then, and not expect any major changes to happen. Its basically the same concept as if you are not attracted to brunettes, but you decide to date one hoping they will dye their hair blonde (although I don't know anyone who does this- because its STUPID-which is my point :P).
My boyfriend now is a total sweetheart. He would do anything for me and frankly is a complete dork. He loved me when I was thicker, he loves me now as I am getting thinner, and he would never stray. He appreciates and respects me, which is the most amazing quality in a man. I guess I just finally grew out of my 'need to fix' and found someone that was already pretty awesome Basically, with a combination of maturity and some harsh life lessons, I think you will grow out of it. Men grow out of being jerks too, at least most of them. If I were you I would focus on YOURSELF right now. Don't worry about dating and allow yourself to mature and figure out what you want in a partner. Its hard not to acquire some baggage from 'bad boy-good girl' relationships, like trust issues etc, so if I were you stay away from men in general.
Also, a note to men- especially the nice guys:
NOT all women necessarily like 'bad' boys, but we also don't want you to be too introverted and awkward, either. Its truly difficult finding a balance where there is the right amount of bad (we like bad in areas such as the bedroom), and the right amount a good. We want someone who respects and appreciates us without losing qualities that make him manly. We don't want a push over and we crave the need to feel protected. Try to find your balance, because it is such a rare find... and biology usually wins us over when we pick the bad boy over the toooo good boy because the bad boy fills our biological needs- which history typically shows us biological needs win out almost all of the time over emotional needs. Try to be an emotional fulfiller and still be a man Okay, enough said!
It pretty much has been proven that the womens subconcsious wants a Alpha male, a strong confident man, it has nothing really to do with changing the man as much as it does wanting a man that can be strong and protective, confident, a provider and a nurturer as well as a father that can provide you with children. Only in the last 30-40 years has the psychology shifted toward the idea of "changing or conquering the male and it's Alpha male ego or self worth"0 -
is there not a saying about "nice guys coming 2nd" ????
Yes there is, it was created by bad boys who needed to pump themselves up. Being a nice guy, I finished first and always will. I know many nice guys that did so as well. However I know far more "bad guys" that have nothing to show for with either never being married or multiple marriages and/or a failed marriage. I deal with "bad boys" all of the time, guys with attitudes who think the world owes them something, that they are really tough. Trust me, these guys, they cry in cells more then any woman has.
A douche is a douche. A guy with confidence is not a bad guy, it is a guy confident. Cockiness however I find a little is good, too much is a douche ... and a douche is a douche.
Couldnt have said it better myself. There is Cocky and there is Confident. Confident is the real Alpha male. Cocky is a show.0 -
is there not a saying about "nice guys coming 2nd" ????
Yes there is, it was created by bad boys who needed to pump themselves up. Being a nice guy, I finished first and always will. I know many nice guys that did so as well. However I know far more "bad guys" that have nothing to show for with either never being married or multiple marriages and/or a failed marriage. I deal with "bad boys" all of the time, guys with attitudes who think the world owes them something, that they are really tough. Trust me, these guys, they cry in cells more then any woman has.
A douche is a douche. A guy with confidence is not a bad guy, it is a guy confident. Cockiness however I find a little is good, too much is a douche ... and a douche is a douche.
Couldnt have said it better myself. There is Cocky and there is Confident. Confident is the real Alpha male. Cocky is a show.0 -
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Cause your stupid.
Women want to be that special woman that was able to tame the bad guy. That bad guy that would go from woman to woman and not feel a thing of for any of them but all of sudden can't keep their minds of you. Then when it doesn't work that way it frustrates you into what is wrong with you that he can't stop thinking of you when all you want to do is jump his bones as soon as he shows the slightest hint of interest. When it does work, that man is now broken and no longer out of your league.
Stupidity. :drinker:
I'm just talking out my rear. :drinker:0 -
the above hit the nail on the head exactly!0
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Interesting topic. I agree it's something almost instinctual that draws us to things which we can't have. I also agree that it's something about the confidence bad boys exude. I've dated nice guys and bad boys. Ironically enough, it was the last "nice guy" that I dated that cheated on me. I think the best thing is an edgy nice guy. Someone who has manners and isn't an *kitten*, but has a bit of a dark side...and hopefully a motorcycle.0
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Interesting topic. I agree it's something almost instinctual that draws us to things which we can't have. I also agree that it's something about the confidence bad boys exude. I've dated nice guys and bad boys. Ironically enough, it was the last "nice guy" that I dated that cheated on me. I think the best thing is an edgy nice guy. Someone who has manners and isn't an *kitten*, but has a bit of a dark side...and hopefully a motorcycle.
Pretty much what I like about women too not including the bike. I like nice edgy girls with a well hidden wild side that they are willing to share with me as I feel I am about the same but a little more wild and crazy.0 -
Need to learn to ride a motorcycle.0 -
We'll join the Black Widows Carl.
Sha na na na na na....
:laugh:0
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