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  • QueenofCups
    QueenofCups Posts: 365 Member
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    My husband doesn't believe in spending money on things like gifts and flowers.
    But - in our old house we were getting ready to repaint our laundry room and one day I came home from work and he had painted "I love you Trina" on one wall with the future color. I purposefully didn't paint that room for another 6 mos so I could see his message when I had a bad day.

    I really wish he would bring me flowers sometimes, but I know I have to give that up. He did buy me a rose bush for our 4th anniversary.
  • lbetancourt
    lbetancourt Posts: 522 Member
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    I would rather he bring me beer, sit down.. shut the $uck up, just listen to me talk about how fabulous I am & keep bringing me cold ones. AND... THIS IS WHY I AM SINGLE! :)
  • NoWeighJose74
    NoWeighJose74 Posts: 581 Member
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    I would rather he bring me beer, sit down.. shut the $uck up, just listen to me talk about how fabulous I am & keep bringing me a cold ones. AND... THIS IS WHY I AM SINGLE! :)

    LoL, win :drinker:
  • Rubie81
    Rubie81 Posts: 720 Member
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    What if my lady doesn't like getting flowers?

    That's funny because the other day, and by the other day I mean 3 months ago, my 4 year-old told my husband (we aren't together now but were then) that he should get me flowers. His reply, "Your mother doesn't like flowers." I think the last time I saw flowers was for our 1 year-anniversary. When I had our kids he never gave me flowers or balloons or anything. Now he's not even with me.
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I would rather he bring me beer, sit down.. shut the $uck up, just listen to me talk about how fabulous I am & keep bringing me a cold ones. AND... THIS IS WHY I AM SINGLE! :)

    O M G that's funny! You are my dream woman! If I knew that it was my job to shut up and listen, I could totally do that. Fabulous is positive. No whining right? I'm down.
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
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    What if my lady doesn't like getting flowers?

    That's funny because the other day, and by the other day I mean 3 months ago, my 4 year-old told my husband (we aren't together now but were then) that he should get me flowers. His reply, "Your mother doesn't like flowers." I think the last time I saw flowers was for our 1 year-anniversary. When I had our kids he never gave me flowers or balloons or anything. Now he's not even with me.

    So do you just not like them? Or was he just not thoughtful?
    I honestly have no problem buying them. But when I go through the trouble and expense (when you have delived etc.) and my response is "thank you, but why do this i don't care for flowers", well I just don't buy anymore lol
  • solpwr
    solpwr Posts: 1,039 Member
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    Honestly, here's my take on flowers. And by the way, now that I'm single, I have bought them for the house a couple of times, when I have a party or company or an occasion for them.

    Flowers are beautiful. A natural product of the earth (from God if you believe as I do). How could you not like them? I could never understand that. It's like not liking snow covered mountain tops or a beautiful sunset etc...

    A gift of flowers. Perfect. A Gift. Of beautiful Flowers. A match made in heaven.

    Now the problem comes in when you buy a gift of flowers and you don't have the money, the means, to pay for them. Spouses know and understand your finances (or should) and may not agree with your use of said funds.

    So guys... figure out a way to pay for them too. I go Costco, less than $20, I have a vase for them, one time purchase, and I give something up to make up the twenty bucks so it didn't have to come out of shared funds or worse yet funds dedicated to necessities.

    You do that, she can't say no, she appreciates the gift, and demonstrates her love and devotion to you. If she doesn't appreciate and demonstrate, you have a problem. You might want to figure that out before divorce court happens.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    My husband doesn't believe in spending money on things like gifts and flowers.
    But - in our old house we were getting ready to repaint our laundry room and one day I came home from work and he had painted "I love you Trina" on one wall with the future color. I purposefully didn't paint that room for another 6 mos so I could see his message when I had a bad day.

    I really wish he would bring me flowers sometimes, but I know I have to give that up. He did buy me a rose bush for our 4th anniversary.

    This was my ex and I painting our son's room a couple years ago:

    1HeartU.jpg

    And this is the kind of things I used to get in return:

    1ILoveYouSoMuch.jpg

    Unfortunately she has some pretty serious chemical imbalances...causing even more serious emotional issues, and since she absolutely refuses to do anything about it...things couldn't work out. Nothing much to be done about it.

    In a normal situation though, those things are ALL that matter to me. Gifts are...well, gifts. It's the stupid little expressions of affection and caring that matter. For some women I guess that might be flowers...and if so that's what I'd give (I did sometimes pick up a single rose while I was at the store for whatever reason...but she appreciated reeses cups FAR more =p).

    I don't know, it's those things (well, among other 'things' lol) I miss most about being in a relationship. Giving them and receiving them is a pretty incredible thing.

    Cris
  • aliciadjackson
    aliciadjackson Posts: 480 Member
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    OR you could send/bring her flowers, cook her dinner, appreciate her and do everything right and she'll just decide that a long distance relationship is just too difficult and already be sleeping with someone else...

    Eh... I'm a cynic. Love is for suckers.
    Dislike this! Try not too be too cynical =)
  • aliciadjackson
    aliciadjackson Posts: 480 Member
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    Flowers are nice and I definitely wouldn't turn them down, but I think what's best is the unexpectedness. My hope is that when I'm in a relationship we'll BOTH do nice, unexpected things for each other such as cooking dinner, flowers, a note on the mirror, running an errand so they won't have to, doing a chore they hate (such as washing the car or vacuuming the furniture). I know it's a bit over said sometimes, but to me it truly is the little things that let's someone know you're thinking of them. =)
  • bluemax87
    bluemax87 Posts: 71
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    I don't do flowers. Sorry, but I don't. They aren't a typical occurence for me, and I don't want to buy something that's going to die in a week. Is that how I want to symbolize our relationship? with something that died in a weeks (or less) time? I've bought flowers for our anniversary, but there's a special meening behind them... I buy a dozen roses, and for every year we've been married, I replace one of the roses with a white one... Haven't decided what I'm going to do once I hit 12! lol

    I also don't do Valentine's Day. The history behind it is morbid and I refuse to celebrate something that has been so over-commercialized that it's not even about the love you and your S.O. share anymore...

    What I used to do was cook for my girlfriend (when we were dating, before marriage). I'd invite her over and have dinner ready, or I'd take her out and put something easy in the oven to pull out in an hour (like meat loaf). I've had a buddy that worked for a catering company set up a dinner in my place after she had moved in; we went out to a movie and when we were done we came home to a candle-lit apartment and a romantic dinner for two at our crappy little folding table...

    I used to leave surprise gifts in her car.

    I'd take her car, when we went to school together, to the mechanic and get the oil changed, or I'd take it home and rotate the tires or replace the brakes for her. These things I did for a girlfriend who didn't have a dad.

    One of my oddities is that I've never been a kisser. When I was little I refused to kiss my mom, grandma, aunts, etc. I kiss my wife, don't get me wrong, but it's normally just the 'hello' 'nice to see you' 'good night' or 'good morning' kisses. One of the things that really gets her going is when she's doing the dishes (or anything really) and out of the blue I just stop her and make out with her... Then I'll stop in the middle of it and say 'I know I may not say it enough, but I do love you,' and walk away. It takes all of about .2 seconds for her to quit whatever she's doing and attack me and drag me to the bedroom...

    I really don't go out of my way to do something spectacular to show her I love her. I know what I've got and we are very good at keeping the communication lines open. We don't have many of the 'big' problems that couples have because we are able to work through them. This gives us more time to sit on the couch and watch movies holding hands or 'cuddling'....

    One of the things I tell my younger guy friends is that every woman is a sucker for chic flicks. If you're looking to have a friend, take her to an action or comedy movie. But, if you really want to romance her and, ultimately, get somewhere, have a movies night in the house and rent a chic-flick and just sit there and cuddle with her. Don't put a move on her or try to do stuff during the movie, just put your arm around her and let her lean on you. If it's not a tear-jerker but one of the ones where the woman gets her prince charming, who is your girl gonna look to to be her 'prince charming' that night? Don't ruin it, though, by being a dog and getting what you want and jetting, because I guarantee you all her friends will hear about your tactic and then you've blown it...
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I don't do flowers. Sorry, but I don't. They aren't a typical occurence for me, and I don't want to buy something that's going to die in a week. Is that how I want to symbolize our relationship? with something that died in a weeks (or less) time? I've bought flowers for our anniversary, but there's a special meening behind them... I buy a dozen roses, and for every year we've been married, I replace one of the roses with a white one... Haven't decided what I'm going to do once I hit 12! lol

    I also don't do Valentine's Day. The history behind it is morbid and I refuse to celebrate something that has been so over-commercialized that it's not even about the love you and your S.O. share anymore...

    What I used to do was cook for my girlfriend (when we were dating, before marriage). I'd invite her over and have dinner ready, or I'd take her out and put something easy in the oven to pull out in an hour (like meat loaf). I've had a buddy that worked for a catering company set up a dinner in my place after she had moved in; we went out to a movie and when we were done we came home to a candle-lit apartment and a romantic dinner for two at our crappy little folding table...

    I used to leave surprise gifts in her car.

    I'd take her car, when we went to school together, to the mechanic and get the oil changed, or I'd take it home and rotate the tires or replace the brakes for her. These things I did for a girlfriend who didn't have a dad.

    One of my oddities is that I've never been a kisser. When I was little I refused to kiss my mom, grandma, aunts, etc. I kiss my wife, don't get me wrong, but it's normally just the 'hello' 'nice to see you' 'good night' or 'good morning' kisses. One of the things that really gets her going is when she's doing the dishes (or anything really) and out of the blue I just stop her and make out with her... Then I'll stop in the middle of it and say 'I know I may not say it enough, but I do love you,' and walk away. It takes all of about .2 seconds for her to quit whatever she's doing and attack me and drag me to the bedroom...

    I really don't go out of my way to do something spectacular to show her I love her. I know what I've got and we are very good at keeping the communication lines open. We don't have many of the 'big' problems that couples have because we are able to work through them. This gives us more time to sit on the couch and watch movies holding hands or 'cuddling'....

    One of the things I tell my younger guy friends is that every woman is a sucker for chic flicks. If you're looking to have a friend, take her to an action or comedy movie. But, if you really want to romance her and, ultimately, get somewhere, have a movies night in the house and rent a chic-flick and just sit there and cuddle with her. Don't put a move on her or try to do stuff during the movie, just put your arm around her and let her lean on you. If it's not a tear-jerker but one of the ones where the woman gets her prince charming, who is your girl gonna look to to be her 'prince charming' that night? Don't ruin it, though, by being a dog and getting what you want and jetting, because I guarantee you all her friends will hear about your tactic and then you've blown it...

    You said it brother.

    These are the things that are important...every...single...one of them.

    Cris
  • angelworm
    angelworm Posts: 35
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    smiley-laughing017.gifHA HA HA!! You are SOOO funny!!! The last time I bought flowers for my wife, she chewed me out for spending the money! smiley-rolleyes009.gif

    I have women pretty much figured out. I call it Ted's Law in Dealing with the Opposite Sex.
    1. You (The male) can NOT win.
    2. You (The male) do have to play.
    3. The rules WILL change to suit the game.
    4. The reasons for this are still somewhat unclear, the most promising theory on causation of the order of relationship status is that the female has a microchip with mood altering programming embedded in her at some point in life. Conventional thought is that it coincides with adolescence, but this has not been definitively proven.
    5. When a precious metal; most commonly in conjunction with a precious stone, is applied to the 4th digit of the left hand, the microchip is then activated. Mood is from this point altered, often irrevocably.
    6. The female is free to behave in any manner she wishes, and exercises total control of access to the nuclear storehouse. smiley-rolleyes005.gif
    6a, All men are considered Third World Countries and women alone have coveted "Nuclear Technology"
    Any variances or questions regarding the application of this law will be referred to rule #1.


    That's pretty much where my science has taken me....

    Too funny
  • angelworm
    angelworm Posts: 35
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    Flowers are nice, yes.

    But I'm thankful that my husband and I *always* say I love you to each other when we part or go to bed. Even if I'm talking to him on the phone and pulling up into the driveway and he's standing outside the house so I can see him, I'll say "I love you" before I hang up the freakin' phone. Silly, yes, ... but it feels wrong if I don't.
  • natashaamee
    natashaamee Posts: 17 Member
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    Dear all men,

    You can be right, or you can be happy. Pick one.

    Sincerely,

    The women.
  • serendipity22
    serendipity22 Posts: 248 Member
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    Flowers are really fun to get. Extra points if he remembers my favorite flowers are daisies.
  • lisa35120
    lisa35120 Posts: 230 Member
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    I don't particularly like getting flowers.. I definitely do appreciate them here and there, but they just die after a couple of days! Plus they're so expensive!

    My husband will surprise me sometimes by cleaning the house while I'm at work, or making dinner, or giving me a back rub. :) And I occasionally get him a new video game or movie while I'm out.. he loves it!
  • lisa35120
    lisa35120 Posts: 230 Member
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    Flowers are nice, yes.

    But I'm thankful that my husband and I *always* say I love you to each other when we part or go to bed. Even if I'm talking to him on the phone and pulling up into the driveway and he's standing outside the house so I can see him, I'll say "I love you" before I hang up the freakin' phone. Silly, yes, ... but it feels wrong if I don't.

    My husband & I do this too! I can't leave him without saying I love you.. it doesn't even matter if we're mad at each other or anything.. we always say I love you!
  • pyro13g
    pyro13g Posts: 1,127 Member
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    Then bring us a bouquet of tools sometime!
  • angelworm
    angelworm Posts: 35
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    Then bring us a bouquet of tools sometime!

    haha! that's awesome.

    I went to Home Depot with my husband the other day. I said "Wow - this must be how you feel when you're in Hobby Lobby with me."

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