Too large for a seat, did the venue respond correctly?

Suedre

I went to a concert earlier this week. There was a woman about two rows in front of me that was very overweight. My heart broke for her when I saw her try to sit in the seat and come nowhere close to fitting. She tried several ways to make it work, leaning sideways, sitting on the arms of the chair putting all her weight on her legs, leaning on the railing in front of her, and doing a squiggle of sorts to try to get in there. I wanted to go over there and give her a hug and my name and tell her where to find me on MFP. Of course I didn’t, because when I was heavy I wouldn’t have wanted someone to do it me, even though their intentions were good. I can’t lie, thinking back to what my life was when I was heavy, I was proud of her. I would have just stayed home because I’d rather miss out on life than suffer not fitting in seat. I wondered why she didn’t just stand up. It is a concert after all and a completely appropriate thing to do. Then I thought she might get tired easily and need to sit down. The venue has general admission lawn seating, so she could have gone out had a seat and taken break then come back to her closer spot when she was rested.

Ultimately, this is what happened and where things go a bit gray for me. Her friend complained to one of the ushers. I couldn’t hear the conversation, but given the demeanor of the all the parties involved it was fairly obvious they were discussing the uncomfortable topic of the seat being too small. After several minutes back and forth, the usher got on a walkie talkie and they were joined by another employee of the venue. Within minutes they had retrieved two folding chairs (padded and all) and moved both of the women up about 20 rows into the VIP section, where tickets cost over $180 more than the section we were in. I really can’t decide how I feel about that. At first, I was releived that venue did something to make her comfortable. Then, I was kind annoyed. They put them in seats that would have cost anyone else in our section an extra $400. If they had paid the $400, I would just been thrilled for her; however, the free upgrade for being heavy seems a bit unfair to everyone else that fits in their seats. Do you think the venue responded in the best way? Would a refund for her tickets or a refund of the price difference between her seat and general admission lawn that does not have size restrictions been appropriate? Even further but somewhat related, should venues be required to list their seat dimensions before you buy tickets?

Just curious what other people think because I’m seeing all the sides of this pretty clearly and honestly don’t know what side I land on.

katie_on_a_mission

Wonderful question and beautifully worded discussion of the problems here. I will be very interested to see what others say. I would opine that the pair should have been offered general admissions seats and refunded the difference. And, yes, I do believe the venues should list the dimensions of their seats. Anyway, thanks for opening this discussion.

crazymama2two

im a total b*tch and woulda been pissed but not like i would say anything cause really, what the hell am i gonna do? im gonna be grateful i guess that i was at the concert and able to sit in the seat should i choose to and be glad i wasnt her - because, honestly, the embarrasment of the situation would be too much for me to bear - ALTHO i dont know if she's a person that even gets embarrased about things like that....which then would just piss me off in a whole 'nother way...but back to the topic at hand - id be pissed, not say anything cause what an asshat i would look like and just be grateful i only have 40 more pounds to lose...

i feel your pain girl

ruhimaach

I think it's great customer service! If I were in her shoes, I would have really appreciated their gesture. As an uninvolved 3rd party, would I have liked her getting insulted? Heck no. Would I have liked being told that I'm too fat and need to get out even though I bought a seat? No way!

I know people flying are usually asked to buy an extra seat...I don't think this would have happened if she were flying. The flight attendant would definitely have not bumped her up to Business Class...

Just_Bethy

I think its wonderful that she got fantastic seats...Every day of her life is crap ..she knows damn well she is judged by 90% of people around her...who see her weight and not her serious health problems...I think its FAB that for once...She WON!

Heather75

They couldn't downgrade their seats and probably had to put the folding chairs in an area where they would not violate fire safety codes.

The venue was probably more unhappy than anyone, but I suspect they had no choice.

Seat dimensions would be helpful, yes.

Melbel85

Honestly I think the employees did right. The woman had already been humiliated enough. You shouldn't be outraged that she ultimately was given better seats but feel sorry for her since she has such difficulties in life. (Just my opinion)

MizzCNyle

I would have been disapointed too because of their upgrade but in a world were anyone can sue anyone..... they had to do it.

kappyblu

The venue wouldn't have done that if there were no available seats up close. They would have put them somewhere else. As a "very overweight" woman whether or not I will fit into a chair is ALWAYS a concern of mine. I try to find out about the seating if at all possible ahead of time. Since I have lost some weight, however, I am finding theater seats and doctor's office seats easier to get into, thank goodness.

I am sure this is an isolated incident. I notice that your heart went out to the lady at first, but then you felt annoyed once you realized the price difference. Maybe it isn't really fair, but that's what happened and spending time and energy thinking about it is time and energy that could be better spent. Hopefully someday the lady will choose a healthier lifestyle. I know that I have seen many women that were the same as me and that I wanted to walk up to a perfect stranger and tell them all about MFP. But you just don't know a person's story just by looking at them. Maybe she was bigger than that and had already lost weight, or maybe just signed up that day. You never know. It's one of those things you have to just let go.

Congratulations on your weight loss, and I hope the concert was great!

MaryB2

I think they handled it correctly, although it may have felt like they were rewarding her for being unhealthy. I'm sure she was embarassed. It would have been different if the venue had listed the seat dimensions and she chose to buy the tickets anyway. It was a very nice thing for them to do and I am sure she appreciated it. That concert may have been the push she needed to get healthier.

Rhondast

im a total b*tch and woulda been pissed but not like i would say anything cause really, what the hell am i gonna do? im gonna be grateful i guess that i was at the concert and able to sit in the seat should i choose to and be glad i wasnt her - because, honestly, the embarrasment of the situation would be too much for me to bear - ALTHO i dont know if she's a person that even gets embarrased about things like that....which then would just piss me off in a whole 'nother way...but back to the topic at hand - id be pissed, not say anything cause what an asshat i would look like and just be grateful i only have 40 more pounds to lose...

i feel your pain girl

I go to alot of concerts, and I agree. They should've given her a different seat, same section, in a chair.

summerkissed

Now this is a really good descusion point!!
Hmmm I agree with you she should not have been 'rewarded' by moving to Vip!! My friend is in a wheel chair, so if we go to a show we state that there is a wheel chair and we need facilities to accomodate such! My daughter is still in a stroller so if we were to take her to a show again we wopiuld ask if there is a place for a stroller or do we leave it at home!.......If someone is 'that' overweight it stands to be said that this would be a regular occurance, so should they not ask at time of booking that they need a chair the fit such a person?????

htebaram

I for one feel the venue did exactly the right thing. They defused an embarrassing situation and removed the distraction.enabling the other attendees to enjoy the event. Having been in the entertainment/food/beverage business for many years I know how important it is to end a stressful situation asap!:flowerforyou:

kalelwifey

I think its wonderful that she got fantastic seats...Every day of her life is crap ..she knows damn well she is judged by 90% of people around her...who see her weight and not her serious health problems...I think its FAB that for once...She WON!

Hmmm..maybe i should stay fat for a Pity party and great seats...just sayin...We get judged..thats life..Deal with it..and i dont know her story..but i know the majorityy...like the fat person who has to buy a extra seat on the plane and doesnt think its right.......if ur big enough for 2 people..u pay for 2 people....for anyone with medical problems this aint for u...for others

Heather75

FIRE EVACUATION SAFETY. They can't just toss a freaking folding chair anywhere.

manny_bee

i, honestly, as the big mouthed mean person i am, would've gone straight up to management and complained about her getting an upgrade. she paid for the section she was in and if she was "that" big, then i'm sure this is not the first time she didnt fit into a seat. I'm sorry, but if there was seating available on the lawn, they shouldve refunded the difference. If i have to pay for a better seat, then she should too. Just like it was my own fault for getting as big as i have, it was her own fault for being her size and she shouldnt get special treatment for something like that. regardless of how embarrassing it was for her, the venue shouldnt have given her special treatment. Normally, if you require special seating (ie wheelchair/stroller) you ask the venue about it before hand. this is another type of instance you should call about. i feel her inconvenience was her own fault for not inquiring. the venue provided standard seating. if you cant use standard seating, you need to call, not complain and get a free upgrade.

k2d4p

According to your own logic, people should sit in the seat that they rightfully paid for. You did that. Her situation had nothing to do with you other than you having to watch it happen. You paid for your seat, you sat in it. You also got to watch a person probably be humiliated. And, even if she wasn't, again nothing to do with you.

If it were me in your shoes, honestly, I would have probably felt embarrassed for her because if I were her I would have been embarrassed myself. But, whether they moved her or not, heck, if they pitied her and gave her backstage passes, has nothing to do with me. I would have watched that situation and been so unbelievebly happy that I have lost over 100 pounds and don't have to deal with things like that anymore.

Just my opinion.

christine24t

I feel for her too, but it isn't fair that she got better seats because she was bigger. I don't know how I would feel about the situation if I was morbidly obese though. All I know is that I would call the venue and ask about the seat size if I was worried about it.

That_Girl

I don't think it's fair or right.

She bought the seat, she didn't fit. Places shouldn't keep making their seats bigger and bigger...it just enables people to stay large.

But, nothing you can do about it now. Lucky her for getting a good seat! Maybe it's one of the few perks she has received in her life.

htebaram

For a bunch of people with weight problems I don't find a lot of you very charitable. There, but for the grace of God, go I.:sick: :sad:

boomboom011

how did she not know the size of the seats? I know there are probably circumstances that we dont know but hypothetically speaking if this was just a regular situation where she bought the tickets in advance and knew she was gonna have to squeeze in a seat then she should have bought the lawn seats. Period.

This is just my opinion, Doesnt make it right nor do i intend to offend anyone. I just get sick and tired of everyone pu$$y footing around with their words. Just call it what it is. She knew she was big and there was going to be a seating issue. Its not rocket science. Bad prepping on her part.
There i said it.

However, the venue diffused the situation and good for them.

nataliarunes

I think it was good customer service but a great disservice to everyone else there, you shouldn't be rewarded because you are too big. They should have given her the ticket money back and escorted her off the premises, but with today's legal happy society that would be a guaranteed lawsuit, and negative press coverage which would have cost the company more so they just appeased her instead of fighting it morally. Still sucks.

Heather75

Maybe the tickets were a gift? A non-refundable gift?

This is a total **** show. Do you honestly think that being marched to the front in plain view of the entire audience so you can sit on a ****ING folding chair is a REWARD? Right, because that wouldn't be humiliating for any of you. She probably wanted to go home, but didn't want to ruin her friend's evening.

This lack of sympathy disgusts me. Shame on you.

OP, this is only partially directed at you, because I realise that you were just trying to see how others would feel. Well, now you know.

ladybarometer

In the shoes of the venue, I would have done something similar. They could have put her in a handicap section with folding chairs, but if that section was behind their current location, it wouldn't have been fair either. I understand that it's not fair to others, but it's the responsibility of the venue to accomidate all sorts of folks, and really, in those cases, where she paid for a service that wasn't accomidating to her size, if these people wanted to pursue it, I'm sure they could even sue the venue. Crazy, but some folks will go that far-heck, I would at least get my money back if I was in her position and they didn't accomidate me.

On a side note too, I unfortunatley work in customer service industry, and in general, you deal with awful people all the time, and anytime there is a guest issue, where the guest is a nice and reasonable person, we, where I work, personally go above and beyond for folks, but if their being ugly or irrational, we're not doing jack for anyone. In general, most rules can be bent in light of customer issues, but not for anyone who isn't nice. You catch more flies with honey, and that lady just may have the honey ^_^

jkestens63

I don't think it's fair or right.

She bought the seat, she didn't fit. Places shouldn't keep making their seats bigger and bigger...it just enables people to stay large.

But, nothing you can do about it now. Lucky her for getting a good seat! Maybe it's one of the few perks she has received in her life.

Seriously, I don't think people are going to stay fat because of comfy chairs. Maybe stores should get rid of scooters and force fatties to get some exercise. While they're at it, perhaps someone should review what's in the grocery carts to make sure they are not buying junk food. And by all means, I think clothing size should be limited to size 18 that way if people get too big they won't haveanything to wear, they'll be forced to stay home, and we won't have to be offended when we witness them getting a "perk" for being fat. They shouldn't be encouraged to make the effort to get out, maybe walking to the venue was all the exercise she could handlee. Maybe her friend had to beg her to get out of the house for once.

I hope none of you experience a disability of any sort that puts you in a position for special consideration.... it sucks and people hating on you doesn't help.

CynthiaS

They couldn't downgrade their seats and probably had to put the folding chairs in an area where they would not violate fire safety codes.

The venue was probably more unhappy than anyone, but I suspect they had no choice.

Seat dimensions would be helpful, yes.

I agree

ladybarometer

Yeah, and on a side note, for a bunch of folks trying to lose weight, some of you are being just plain mean and insensative.

sarah44254

Just curious what other people think because I’m seeing all the sides of this pretty clearly and honestly don’t know what side I land on.

I think the venue made a bad decision, the woman's friend (if not the woman herself) made a bad decision, and there are a few commenters here that don't seem to fully grasp the situation.

1) venue: of course putting a folding chair in the aisle could have very likely caused a fire hazard. Like another person mentioned, there is usually (if not always) a handicap area and she could have been placed there. They could have told her to stand. They could have told her to leave and refunded her money (or NOT! Some are non refundable). What they did (upped her seating to VIP) was not the best decision. While they diffused one situation they obviously made another worse. Any concert-goer who saw this happen is likely thinking the same thing as the OP, "Why does she get better seats simply because she is bigger?"

2) The woman should have known that she would have seat problems. Unless she is a total hermit and hasn't been in a public seat in a long time, she would have known prior that she is large and might not fit into a seat. From what I read in the OP - it doesn't seem the large woman had trouble with it, but instead, her friend. Why is her friend throwing a fit - people act strange. Sure, she was likely embarrassed. Anyone would be, of course. I would have tried to stand and clap and really get into the concert and just avoid the issue of not-fitting. She did not have the same reaction as I would have. Ok, that is fine, different people different results. But back to the base problem - any largely overweight person I know personally is very aware that they are largely overweight. It is no surprise that they cannot do all the same things that small people can do.

3) I am so upset to read some of the comments here. No person 'deserves' a free upgrade because they are overweight. No person gets my pity simply because they are embarrassed. Are healthy weight people never embarrassed? Are healthy weight people never mistreated (whether it be given a fancy seat for free or being treated poorly in public)? While her weight was the stem of the situation here - the cause of her weight is her own. It might be a hereditary issue, if so, she would definitely understand that she is big, and may not fit in a seat. It might be her own doing, just gaining weight over the years. Again, she would be totally aware of her size.

This is such a long response, but I needed to get it out. The OP made me think. Hmm hmm what would I do? Then reading responses that gave her pity for her embarrassment just made me confused and even a little angered. If this makes me cold-hearted, then I suppose that is just how I am. I like to see all sides before I play pity on someone. When I was a larger weight I expected no special treatment from anyone. If I couldn't keep up running, it was my fault - I'm out of the race. I don't expect the healthy runners to slow down. If I am too big to fit in a seat, my fault, I'm out of the concert. I should NOT expect folks to get me special seating.

boomboom011

Just curious what other people think because I’m seeing all the sides of this pretty clearly and honestly don’t know what side I land on.

I think the venue made a bad decision, the woman's friend (if not the woman herself) made a bad decision, and there are a few commenters here that don't seem to fully grasp the situation.

1) venue: of course putting a folding chair in the aisle could have very likely caused a fire hazard. Like another person mentioned, there is usually (if not always) a handicap area and she could have been placed there. They could have told her to stand. They could have told her to leave and refunded her money (or NOT! Some are non refundable). What they did (upped her seating to VIP) was not the best decision. While they diffused one situation they obviously made another worse. Any concert-goer who saw this happen is likely thinking the same thing as the OP, "Why does she get better seats simply because she is bigger?"

2) The woman should have known that she would have seat problems. Unless she is a total hermit and hasn't been in a public seat in a long time, she would have known prior that she is large and might not fit into a seat. From what I read in the OP - it doesn't seem the large woman had trouble with it, but instead, her friend. Why is her friend throwing a fit - people act strange. Sure, she was likely embarrassed. Anyone would be, of course. I would have tried to stand and clap and really get into the concert and just avoid the issue of not-fitting. She did not have the same reaction as I would have. Ok, that is fine, different people different results. But back to the base problem - any largely overweight person I know personally is very aware that they are largely overweight. It is no surprise that they cannot do all the same things that small people can do.

3) I am so upset to read some of the comments here. No person 'deserves' a free upgrade because they are overweight. No person gets my pity simply because they are embarrassed. Are healthy weight people never embarrassed? Are healthy weight people never mistreated (whether it be given a fancy seat for free or being treated poorly in public)? While her weight was the stem of the situation here - the cause of her weight is her own. It might be a hereditary issue, if so, she would definitely understand that she is big, and may not fit in a seat. It might be her own doing, just gaining weight over the years. Again, she would be totally aware of her size.

This is such a long response, but I needed to get it out. The OP made me think. Hmm hmm what would I do? Then reading responses that gave her pity for her embarrassment just made me confused and even a little angered. If this makes me cold-hearted, then I suppose that is just how I am. I like to see all sides before I play pity on someone. When I was a larger weight I expected no special treatment from anyone. If I couldn't keep up running, it was my fault - I'm out of the race. I don't expect the healthy runners to slow down. If I am too big to fit in a seat, my fault, I'm out of the concert. I should NOT expect folks to get me special seating.

I agree 100% Whatever happened to good old fashion personal responsibility. it is no one else fault that i am overweight. Just mine. I realize that there are people with health issues but I seriously think obesity can be helped. If the help is wanted. JUST MY OPINION.

electromg

Yes, this is a wonderful post and put in the most polite way possible.

I personally feel that these people need to know what kind of seats they are getting themselves into. From my experience, venues have about the same width of a seat as most other. From how it sounds, she wasn't even close to fitting into her seat. It wasn't a simple matter of an uncomfortable squeeze.

Now, I don't want to seem judgmental here, maybe I just don't understand. When you are getting bigger, noticing that the seats you sit in are getting tight and more uncomfortable (for both you and your neighbor) isn't this a huge red flag to lose weight? I know its easier said than done. My mom has been morbidly obese most of my life, and I know her struggle. But even if you're not going to venues, but comparing yourself to the generic fold out chair, you can gauge that if you are wider to that extent, clearly you wouldn't fit in those constricting seats. We may not all have healthcare to consult a doctor, or the family support but what about some simple research in the library? It's hard to not be overweight (or obese at times), but I have less understanding for their situation.

Now, what I think is that these venues should say somewhere the dimensions of the seat, so they can watch out for people trying to pull this maneuver.

rc630

I'm really torn about this.. what an interesting predicament.
While it may be the woman's fault she was too large for the seat, I think putting her in the box seats was the right choice is that was the only place the folding chairs could be placed. Not only would placing the chairs somewhere else have cause a fire hazard, moving her there might have also prevented her from blocking the view of those behind her. I have been at concerts behind very large people and if you're on a level that is above the stage, the persons width may have blocked others' views.

Whether or not the person deserved the upgrade, it didn't change the seats given to every other audience member..Nobody who paid for the expensive seats had their own seat taken away, and nobody who paid regular admission was downgraded. It's not totally fair that she got a nicer seat, but if you hadn't seen it happen, you would have never known or cared, so I would say since it doesn't negatively affect anyone, the venue made the right choice.