Too large for a seat, did the venue respond correctly?

mollymoo89

I think its wonderful that she got fantastic seats...Every day of her life is crap ..she knows damn well she is judged by 90% of people around her...who see her weight and not her serious health problems...I think its FAB that for once...She WON!

I have to disagree with you. While I can't say that I personally know and understand what it is like to be fat, but how did she win? What I get from your post, is that she won because she was fat. So is that to say that someone who is too large to be in a coach seat on an airplane automatically gets upgraded to first class for free just because they are fat?

While I think the venue did do the right thing in finding her another seat, I believe they should have found a way to accomodate her in the section she paid for. If not, then general admission and refund the difference.

zorbaru

whose to say that this lady didnt deliberatley buy cheap seats knowing that she wouldnt fit and knowing she would get a free ugrade. im not saying she did this but it is possible.

i think the correct thing to do would have been to offer her a refund, or the option to PURCHASE the upgrade.

there is too much political correctness and fear of offending someone in this day and age.

you mentioned that the friend got upgraded as well. i assume she fit in her seat fine so why was she given the same treatment. and what was the complaint? i would imagine that the chairs at the venue were standard size for majority of concert halls.

i dont mean offense to anyone, but im someone who beleives in equality. more and more i am seeing that people are trying to cater to a minority so much that people in the majority are actually the ones now being discriminated against.

skpresley20

So here's the thing. We have to look at profit v accommodation. It gets a little tricky. So, obviously all the seats at a concert or restaurant or doctors office are all cookie cutter. Let's just say that the venue says "hey, we know that a lot of people are bigger than what our seats accommodation so let's make our seats bigger by 3ins a piece." And that ends up cutting whole sections of the venue down which results in them losing lots of money, people wont pay for VIP seating because regular seating is much more comfier than it used to be. So all in all it's a pretty lose-lose situation. On the other hand, maybe the higher ups are counting on bigger people paying the big bucks for extra room and comfortability of the VIP section and they're banking on that to sell VIP seating? I wouldn't put it past them.

aubreywygralak

I for one feel the venue did exactly the right thing. They defused an embarrassing situation and removed the distraction.enabling the other attendees to enjoy the event. Having been in the entertainment/food/beverage business for many years I know how important it is to end a stressful situation asap!:flowerforyou:

I agree!

I also agree with another poster who said- good for that woman- an upgrade for the day! Who are we to hate on her for having a big booty and good luck??!!

svetlana_vs

Funny how different reactions are... I would just be happy that I do not have such an awful problem and feel sorry for her. Would not even think about fairness... now that I gained weight and started feeling uncomfortable in airplane chairs because I feel them, that situation would have pushed me to lose weight even more :-)

JellyJaks

For a bunch of people with weight problems I don't find a lot of you very charitable. There, but for the grace of God, go I.:sick: :sad:

It's not a matter of charity, it's a matter of personal accountability, which is sadly lacking in many people these days. I've worked very hard to never get more than 20 lbs over my ideal weight, and I'm working very hard to get back to it. Someone who chooses to overeat constantly and sit on their couch 24/7 doesn't deserve special perks. Nor do I deserve to have to deal with their rolls overflowing into my seat on a plane or at a concert. And rewarding them for letting themselves go to that exrtreme by upgrading their seats while all of us who work to maintain our weight within a reasonable rate get lesser seats for the same price is just wrong, besides being absolutely ridiculous. Maybe the venue was afraid of a lawsuit - does that mean I could threaten them with a lawsuit because I'm nearsighted and forgot to bring my glasses, so I couldn't see so well? I'll bet most of you wouldn't go for that, so why the pity and special treatment for someone who is obese? Obesity is a choice - I ran a diet program for years and I have yet to see anyone who can't lose weight if they follow a sensible eating program. They may never get stick thin because of genetics or a medical probelm, but they won't be morbidly obese. Enough of this mollycoddling people who make really poor lifestyle choices. Hold people accountable for their choices, and stop punishing people who actually work toward goals and follow the rules.

THIS!

onmywaytoskinny155

Imagine how the woman must have felt knowing that she was to large to sit in a seat and that she was moved up only to sit in a folding chair for everyone to look at. Far to often we worry about $180 difference instead of her feelings. You never know what type of trauma a person has had in their life to cause them to be overweight.

misscristie

I'm pretty sure the VIP section is the only place they could add a folding chair or 2 without breaking any codes. The only other option would have been to tell her to leave and refund her money.

abalicious

I didn't want to comment on this because I don't want people thinking I'm "mean." I've never been morbidly obese and don't plan to be. However, this situation reminds me of those larger people who want to ride rollercoasters. They stand in a huge then and then get rejected because they don't fit. Well, usually if people can tell that they cannot fit in the rollercoaster seat, they will not even step foot in the line. This woman knew she would be sitting in a chair, and if there was a possibility she couldn't fit, then why wouldn't she buy lawn seats? However, I don't think she did this intentionally in order to get an upgrade, judging by how her friend was visibly upset.

Edit: If I were in her position I would have just bought lawn seats. I wouldn't take the chance of being put in a chair if I knew I couldn't fit. But like a previous poster said, maybe they were nonrefundable seats or a gift. However, they could have put her in lawn seats and refunded the difference. But I'm sure they want to give her a better deal so that she doesn't complain to other customers about the venue, causing a lack of business.

rnprincess

I think it's great customer service! If I were in her shoes, I would have really appreciated their gesture. As an uninvolved 3rd party, would I have liked her getting insulted? Heck no. Would I have liked being told that I'm too fat and need to get out even though I bought a seat? No way!

Well said. I think the venue did great customer service in an area which could have been a total disaster. As fasr as putting dimensions on seating, I do not know how realistic that is, because most people do not know how wide their rear is, and going solely on weight, when people come in so many different sizes would be difficult as well. But an interesting topic nonetheless.

Losingitin2011

This is a very tricky situation. From a business standpoint, they did what was easiest for them. It was easier to move her and her friend than to risk her friend going completely off the handle about it.Their solution quickly diffused a potentially volatile situation, and that is the main job of customer service. They can't please everyone, but turning her away, or making her stand would be a discrimination lawsuit in the making.

I honestly think I would be a little jealous about it though. I hate thinking the worst of anyone, but it is a completely reality that she could have done it on purpose. There are a lot of people out there who do those types of things on purpose! It is not as though people who are overweight don't KNOW it. A lot of times they either don't know what to do to change it, or just don't care. There are a few, and I mean a few, who can't change it.

I often wonder about how society would react if we stopped treating obesity as a "disability" and something to tiptoe around to avoid offending someone or hurting someone's feelings?

Oh and before it can even be said. I'm a horrible person, catty and evil and blah blah blah. I don't care.

TinaS88

While I think what they did was "nice" of them, I don't think it was right to the other people who paid the prices to sit there.

Now while I don't know her personal details, I just don't think people should be rewarded for bad choices in life ( over eating to the point you can't fit in a chair). Not to sound cruel, but that is just my opinion.

That_Girl

I don't think it's fair or right.

She bought the seat, she didn't fit. Places shouldn't keep making their seats bigger and bigger...it just enables people to stay large.

But, nothing you can do about it now. Lucky her for getting a good seat! Maybe it's one of the few perks she has received in her life.

Seriously, I don't think people are going to stay fat because of comfy chairs. Maybe stores should get rid of scooters and force fatties to get some exercise. While they're at it, perhaps someone should review what's in the grocery carts to make sure they are not buying junk food. And by all means, I think clothing size should be limited to size 18 that way if people get too big they won't haveanything to wear, they'll be forced to stay home, and we won't have to be offended when we witness them getting a "perk" for being fat. They shouldn't be encouraged to make the effort to get out, maybe walking to the venue was all the exercise she could handlee. Maybe her friend had to beg her to get out of the house for once.

I hope none of you experience a disability of any sort that puts you in a position for special consideration.... it sucks and people hating on you doesn't help.

Well, the more we accommodate obesity and not really make people aware of themselves, the worse the problem is going to get.

A year ago, I couldn't fit into the seats at an old diner by our home. I still ate there, just pulled up a chair at the end of the table. The seats are SMALL! They barely fit my husband and he's not a big guy....again, the diner is from the 70s.

I fit into the seat now (just barely) and it feels good.

I have a disability that you can't see, should I get special treatment for that? I don't ask for it, nor want it.

You never know anyone's story, big or thin, I just stated that I don't think she should have been upgraded, but who cares that she was...nothing they can do about it now.

nalopez

I don't think it's fair or right.

She bought the seat, she didn't fit. Places shouldn't keep making their seats bigger and bigger...it just enables people to stay large.

But, nothing you can do about it now. Lucky her for getting a good seat! Maybe it's one of the few perks she has received in her life.

Seriously, I don't think people are going to stay fat because of comfy chairs. Maybe stores should get rid of scooters and force fatties to get some exercise. While they're at it, perhaps someone should review what's in the grocery carts to make sure they are not buying junk food. And by all means, I think clothing size should be limited to size 18 that way if people get too big they won't haveanything to wear, they'll be forced to stay home, and we won't have to be offended when we witness them getting a "perk" for being fat. They shouldn't be encouraged to make the effort to get out, maybe walking to the venue was all the exercise she could handlee. Maybe her friend had to beg her to get out of the house for once.

I hope none of you experience a disability of any sort that puts you in a position for special consideration.... it sucks and people hating on you doesn't help.

EXACTLY!

mialsya

All concert tickets are way overpriced so that shouldn't be a consideration. Think of it this way - maybe the fact that she couldn't sit in a normal seat will be a wake up call to her and she will start researching ways to make herself healthier. A woman like that is at risk for so many preventible diseases that it's a waste of a life not to do something. I think all of us here have had that "a-ha" moment where we just knew we couldn't go another day living like we were. That's why we are all here. For me, it was my step-dad. He was diagnosed with cancer, then had to undergo a quad-bypass, then was diagnosed with COPD, and THEN had two heart attacks back to back - all within a year. Seeing how much my mom is suffering over his poor life choices made me realize that I could never make my husband suffer like that. Diabetes is very prevalent in my family and I am already at a higher risk with having insulin resistant PCOS. Everyone needs a wake up call. I just hope this was it for her.

And good for her friend to stand up for her and complain! I'm sure the alternative would have been miserable for them. When/if she decides to make a life change, she will need a cheerleader like that in her corner.

Lauriee2014

It sounds like you got the seat for which you paid. It didn't take anything away from you and she got a bonus. They were probably unprepared for such a situation and did the best they could on the fly. I wonder if they will add some type of clause for future events......I don't think I'd resent her for the upgrade, bc, I got what I paid for. And her change in seating had no direct effect on me.

At my office, we have a nurse [kind of ironic] who is a very large woman [I wanna say 300-ish on a 5-3 or 5-4 frame]. She has "bad knees" and a "bad back". I'm not sure if she had them before the weight, but the weight certainly can't be helping the situation. Due to her situation, she receives preferential treatment such as, though the company needs to keep files locked and wanted to have them on the 2nd floor in the very back of the building, they have to put hers in her office in a separate locking file cabinet. [We have no elevator.. just two sets of stairs.] So if you are gathering a number of charts.. or charts are being reviewed..other employees have to go to her office to view them. Also, we have 4-5 parking spots directly beside our building.. then a large lot across the street. The spots by the building are generally given to managers and supervisors [all spots are paid for by employees] but she is given a spot bc of her condition.

I am part time at that office and don't buy a parking spot for that reason. So it doesn't affect me personally, HOWEVER, I do feel that the company is enabling her. She works more hours in that office than I do, but she is not full time. Neither is she management. YET, she gets preferential parking. Unlike the concert venue, this is a place this woman frequents. If you cannot get into the building you work at, should that not be a wake up call? It's the entitled attitude she has that bothers me..not the parking space. In fact, if you walk down the hall by her [it's a house building converted into offices.. our "main" hallway fits approx. 1.5 people across..and most are tiny women.. when you walk by her, YOU have to move, or she will barrel you over.

Ok..this is turning into a vent..which was not my intent, so I will now end. I do suspect the concert venue had to make a quick decision.. had to work with what was available..and probably didn't want to cause a scene.

Losingitin2011

I don't think it's fair or right.

She bought the seat, she didn't fit. Places shouldn't keep making their seats bigger and bigger...it just enables people to stay large.

But, nothing you can do about it now. Lucky her for getting a good seat! Maybe it's one of the few perks she has received in her life.

Seriously, I don't think people are going to stay fat because of comfy chairs. Maybe stores should get rid of scooters and force fatties to get some exercise. While they're at it, perhaps someone should review what's in the grocery carts to make sure they are not buying junk food. And by all means, I think clothing size should be limited to size 18 that way if people get too big they won't haveanything to wear, they'll be forced to stay home, and we won't have to be offended when we witness them getting a "perk" for being fat. They shouldn't be encouraged to make the effort to get out, maybe walking to the venue was all the exercise she could handlee. Maybe her friend had to beg her to get out of the house for once.

I hope none of you experience a disability of any sort that puts you in a position for special consideration.... it sucks and people hating on you doesn't help.

Well, the more we accommodate obesity and not really make people aware of themselves, the worse the problem is going to get.

THIS.

Lauriee2014

I don't think it's fair or right.

She bought the seat, she didn't fit. Places shouldn't keep making their seats bigger and bigger...it just enables people to stay large.

But, nothing you can do about it now. Lucky her for getting a good seat! Maybe it's one of the few perks she has received in her life.

Seriously, I don't think people are going to stay fat because of comfy chairs. Maybe stores should get rid of scooters and force fatties to get some exercise. While they're at it, perhaps someone should review what's in the grocery carts to make sure they are not buying junk food. And by all means, I think clothing size should be limited to size 18 that way if people get too big they won't haveanything to wear, they'll be forced to stay home, and we won't have to be offended when we witness them getting a "perk" for being fat. They shouldn't be encouraged to make the effort to get out, maybe walking to the venue was all the exercise she could handlee. Maybe her friend had to beg her to get out of the house for once.

I hope none of you experience a disability of any sort that puts you in a position for special consideration.... it sucks and people hating on you doesn't help.

EXACTLY!
[/quote


-- I understand most of this train of thought. I have worked with adults with cognitive and physical disabilities for many years. However, I take issue with the term "disability" when it's something someone has control over to change. Being born with a developmental delay is a disability, having club feet is a disability, eating yourself to the place where you cannot sit in a concert seat is not a disability. I would never be rude to someone using a motot cart in Wal*Mart bc they cannot stand long enough to shop, but it would bother me if there was not one available for a 95 year old frail woman or someone with COPD, etc.

Losingitin2011

I don't think it's fair or right.

She bought the seat, she didn't fit. Places shouldn't keep making their seats bigger and bigger...it just enables people to stay large.

But, nothing you can do about it now. Lucky her for getting a good seat! Maybe it's one of the few perks she has received in her life.

Seriously, I don't think people are going to stay fat because of comfy chairs. Maybe stores should get rid of scooters and force fatties to get some exercise. While they're at it, perhaps someone should review what's in the grocery carts to make sure they are not buying junk food. And by all means, I think clothing size should be limited to size 18 that way if people get too big they won't haveanything to wear, they'll be forced to stay home, and we won't have to be offended when we witness them getting a "perk" for being fat. They shouldn't be encouraged to make the effort to get out, maybe walking to the venue was all the exercise she could handlee. Maybe her friend had to beg her to get out of the house for once.

I hope none of you experience a disability of any sort that puts you in a position for special consideration.... it sucks and people hating on you doesn't help.

EXACTLY!
[/quote


-- I understand most of this train of thought. I have worked with adults with cognitive and physical disabilities for many years. However, I take issue with the term "disability" when it's something someone has control over to change. Being born with a developmental delay is a disability, having club feet is a disability, eating yourself to the place where you cannot sit in a concert seat is not a disability. I would never be rude to someone using a motot cart in Wal*Mart bc they cannot stand long enough to shop, but it would bother me if there was not one available for a 95 year old frail woman or someone with COPD, etc.

Being someone with a disability it does bother me when something within ones control is considered a disability. The broad definition of the term 'disability' is most likely the culprit of this.

"The Americans with Disabilities Act ( ADA) has a three-part definition of disability. Under ADA, an individual with a disability is a person who: (1) has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities; OR (2) has a record of such an impairment; OR (3) is regarded as having such an impairment."

It is very frustrating to have such a broad definition, but also beneficial for those "invisible" illnesses.

Lauriee2014

This is a very tricky situation. From a business standpoint, they did what was easiest for them. It was easier to move her and her friend than to risk her friend going completely off the handle about it.Their solution quickly diffused a potentially volatile situation, and that is the main job of customer service. They can't please everyone, but turning her away, or making her stand would be a discrimination lawsuit in the making.

I honestly think I would be a little jealous about it though. I hate thinking the worst of anyone, but it is a completely reality that she could have done it on purpose. There are a lot of people out there who do those types of things on purpose! It is not as though people who are overweight don't KNOW it. A lot of times they either don't know what to do to change it, or just don't care. There are a few, and I mean a few, who can't change it.

I often wonder about how society would react if we stopped treating obesity as a "disability" and something to tiptoe around to avoid offending someone or hurting someone's feelings?

Oh and before it can even be said. I'm a horrible person, catty and evil and blah blah blah. I don't care.

---

You are not a horrible person, catty, etc. Fortunately we are discussing ideas and not creating law here on mfp.

It has taken a long, LONG time for people with [what I would consider "valid] disabilities to find their place in this world. And it's not nearly enough yet. We see teens "acting out" in public..not even considering he might have autism; we see adults with apparent cognitive delays, and wonder "how" they can be working in a supermarket [when they might be capable of lots more than that.. but it's the only place someone would give him a "chance"]. These disabilities are not things someone can make a mental decision to change. They can not go on a "diet" and no longer have Down's Syndrome. My concern is that if obesity is seen as a disability, the positive attitudes JUST BEGINNING regarding folks with disabilities, could be sabotaged.

Ok..getting off my soapbox now.