Too large for a seat, did the venue respond correctly?
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Why do you care? It doesn't effect you in any way. All you did was succeed in ruining your own evening by getting yourself ticked off.0
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Or… maybe these two ladies are scammers and the woman, who we assume is morbidly obese, is really a thin person wearing a fat suit and they pull this scheme to save lots of cash and for the thrill of getting away with something.
There is so much speculation about this woman (she has a disability, mental issues, is lazy, and eats 24/7) when in reality we know nothing about her or about what actually went down. What we do know is that she and her companion got moved to the VIP section.
They may have paid the difference (which in my opinion would have been the proper solution) or the venue took the most PC solution which it made it a better view for the ladies.
The OP was questioning whether the venue responded correctly to which my answer would be “it depends who you talk to.”
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Let me start by saying that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am not judging what other people say here. Although, I must say that the wording of some of these posts almost brought me to tears, but that is just my own reaction, and I must be responsible for it right? I am one of those people, that barely barely fits in a seat, or I was 41 pounds ago. I don't know if you all have any idea what it is like to realize that you are actually sooo big you can't buckle your seatbelt on an airplane, it is mortifying. It makes you feel like the ugliest most disgusting thing in the world. I am not sure that I am entirely responsible for the size I got to. I suffer from depression, binge-eating that is definitely a result of sexual abuse as a child and physical abuse as an adult. The list can go on but this is not my major point. I am absolutely responsible for the changes I am making and getting my weight under control, but it took not fitting in a seat to get me there.
I just want to say that being super obese, morbidly obese, is in fact a recognized disability by the united states government. Those who are unable to perform common everyday tasks, like walking, or standing, are in fact disabled. The Americans with Disabilities act states that reasonable accomodations must be made for persons with disabilities, it doesn't state that they must have a specific type of disability. It is important to be aware that these accomodations are not "special treatment" but merely designed to create a situation where everyone has equal access to venues and buildings et cetera. As someone who worked with disabled adults as my job for eight years, part of which included making sure the building was accessible for all disabled students, I can tell you that this woman did not recieve special treatment. She was accomodated as the law says she should be.
Something else for consideration. My boyfriends mother, who is a full time hospice nurse, is morbidly obese or super obese, and she has a disabled sticker due to the fact . She is also wheelchair bound on bad days. She has to use the scooter in grocery stores. When i had very first started dating my bf we decided that he and I and his mom and dad would go see the Rolling Stones in concert. I bought the tickets, they were at the top of the stadium. I had only met his mom once on a good day and was unaware that she was disabled by her wieght becuase he never told me. I was so embarrassed because I didn't know. Then I had to go find a customer service rep and explain the situation and tell them I didn't know she was disabled. They said too bad. So she had to climb the stairs to our seats on the 80 th row. It took her and hour and a half she had to stop several times. It was my fault. Now consider the fact that the OP does not have the foggiest idea who purchased those tickets. IT could have been the friend and she was explaining the situation and got accomodated like she should have been. She got lucky and this "special treatment" does not always happen and it should because otherwise laws are being broken.
My point is that mistakes can be made and the venue definitely did the right thing and even the nice thing. Trust me when I say this was definitely embarassing for the woman involved and being obese is embarrasing to most people that are that way. It doesn't matter whether or not they accept responsibility and lose the weight, I certainly hope they do. All that matters is that if they are in fact disabled, which being super obese is often a disability, it is case by case, then they are disabled and should be accomodated. Please don't say that it is not a disability because it most certainly is.0 -
Life is too short to care so much about someone getting a "perk" you didn't.
Before I express my opinion, I have to give a little background. While I'm very overweight, I've never had a problem paying for the extra seat on a plane, or standing for a concert because I wouldn't be comfortable in the seat. I've done a very physical job the last 18yrs working with violent developmentally disabled adults. About a year ago an altercation at work left me with broken cartilage in my knee, and 4 blown up discs in my back. So far I can only walk a couple hundred feet at a time, & can't stand longer than 20 min. before my back, hip & leg force me to take more pills & sit down.
That said, I cant even begin to express how disgusted I am by the attitude & comments of so many of the posters here. I agree with the posters who've pointed out that this didn't affect anyone else. Maybe the venue should have put her in a wheelchair area in the section she paid for, but for F***s sake, it didn't negatively impact anyone else. There's no reason to care. My wife has tried to get me to go to some places with her in a wheelchair, or shopping where I can use a motorized cart. But because of my size there's no way in the world that I would, because I know the way so many people would judge me. And while I'm sure my weight didn't help my injury, it was certainly not the primary cause. But until I'm healed, it's the couch for me, because I'll be damned if I'll put myself in a position to be judged (more than I already am for my size) by a bunch of people who don't know the whole story. I know I shouldn't care what conclusion others come to, but I don't think I could get passed that.
I find it hard to fathom the attitude of so many here who are better than someone else because they aren't as fat as them. Life is too short to spend it being a judgmental a**hole. I realize I may be one myself for saying this, but when people write the things they do, it's hard not to.0 -
Thank you! If you care about this and go on and on about fairness, not "rewarding" people for being fat (wtf?) and making assumptions about her because of her looks this topic has certainly touched a nerve in you that you would greatly benefit in exploring...for your own self-growth.but for F***s sake, it didn't negatively impact anyone else. There's no reason to care.
The insensitivity of certain responses gives me a whole new look of this community. How sad that we can't even be sensitive to those going through the same struggles we are.0 -
Question #1. Did you get what you paid for? Did you get to enjoy the show from the seats you paid for? If yes, don't worry about others, or what they might have. We could go all existential and have a grand discussion on why my neighbour drives a Cadillac and I have a Chevy, or why the guy in the desk next to me makes more money than I do, or why the line in the grocery store always moves faster when I'm not in it.
None of those things change my life, so I don't worry about it.
I hope you, and the lady that was moved, both enjoyed the show.0 -
According to some, she didn't deserve the "perk" because it was her choice to be fat.
It seems no one would have an issue if the person was truly handicapped because they didn't choose to be handicapped.
Well what about the 20 year old I know who got drunk, got in his car, hit someone head-on (killed them), was burned so badly his feet had to be amputated and he's in a wheelchair for the rest of his life? Do you not believe he deserves "perks" like handicapped parking because he did that to himself?
Or my uncle who is an alcoholic and has liver disease. He gets many "perks" too, but his condition was completely preventable.
Can you tell just by looking at someone whether they deserve special treatment or not?
The judgement, the assumptions, the lack of compasion are disheartening.0 -
Just curious what other people think because I’m seeing all the sides of this pretty clearly and honestly don’t know what side I land on.
I think the venue made a bad decision, the woman's friend (if not the woman herself) made a bad decision, and there are a few commenters here that don't seem to fully grasp the situation.
1) venue: of course putting a folding chair in the aisle could have very likely caused a fire hazard. Like another person mentioned, there is usually (if not always) a handicap area and she could have been placed there. They could have told her to stand. They could have told her to leave and refunded her money (or NOT! Some are non refundable). What they did (upped her seating to VIP) was not the best decision. While they diffused one situation they obviously made another worse. Any concert-goer who saw this happen is likely thinking the same thing as the OP, "Why does she get better seats simply because she is bigger?"
2) The woman should have known that she would have seat problems. Unless she is a total hermit and hasn't been in a public seat in a long time, she would have known prior that she is large and might not fit into a seat. From what I read in the OP - it doesn't seem the large woman had trouble with it, but instead, her friend. Why is her friend throwing a fit - people act strange. Sure, she was likely embarrassed. Anyone would be, of course. I would have tried to stand and clap and really get into the concert and just avoid the issue of not-fitting. She did not have the same reaction as I would have. Ok, that is fine, different people different results. But back to the base problem - any largely overweight person I know personally is very aware that they are largely overweight. It is no surprise that they cannot do all the same things that small people can do.
3) I am so upset to read some of the comments here. No person 'deserves' a free upgrade because they are overweight. No person gets my pity simply because they are embarrassed. Are healthy weight people never embarrassed? Are healthy weight people never mistreated (whether it be given a fancy seat for free or being treated poorly in public)? While her weight was the stem of the situation here - the cause of her weight is her own. It might be a hereditary issue, if so, she would definitely understand that she is big, and may not fit in a seat. It might be her own doing, just gaining weight over the years. Again, she would be totally aware of her size.
This is such a long response, but I needed to get it out. The OP made me think. Hmm hmm what would I do? Then reading responses that gave her pity for her embarrassment just made me confused and even a little angered. If this makes me cold-hearted, then I suppose that is just how I am. I like to see all sides before I play pity on someone. When I was a larger weight I expected no special treatment from anyone. If I couldn't keep up running, it was my fault - I'm out of the race. I don't expect the healthy runners to slow down. If I am too big to fit in a seat, my fault, I'm out of the concert. I should NOT expect folks to get me special seating.
I think they did the right thing. And some people say that someone that is skinny or attractive sometimes gets perks for being "good looking". She very well may not have known what size the seats were. I am not a hermit by any means but I have never been to big venue like that for a concert. I would definitely not have any idea what to expect as far as seating is concerned. I'm guessing maybe her friend said something because she was too embarassed.0 -
I havent read the prior responses, but I can imagine they run a broad spectrum with some folsk applauding the venue and others disagreeing with the way they handled it.
In my opinion, and from what the original posts seems to state, the venue essentially gave this woman and her friend a free upgrade because their seats didnt fit her body. Im not sure who'd "fault" it is...or even if fault should be applied. Is her butt too big? Or is their seat too small? Either way, I dont think her seat should have been upgraded, expecially given the price difference. I would certainly have been thrilled that the venue was so willing to accomodate this person, but I would hope they could get her a seat of equal value. No need to send her out to the lawn seats, but no real reason to give her a "reward' either.
I just thought about the Taylor Swift concert I went to earlier this month. There were a lot of young girls there with their parents. Many around me couldnt see the stage because they are young and short. Should the venue have moved allllll those litle girls up to the front since its not their "fault" they arent tall enough to see their venue's stage? Who's "fault" is it? The short little girls who's legs arent long enough for the venue's seats to provide a good experience? Or the venue, for not providing booster seats/better/closer seats or a higher stage?0 -
You can't tell me she didn't know the seats were going to be small. Now I'm a big guy I'm 5 7 and started my new life style at 320, and I never expected anyone do anything for me. We live (especially in America) where god forbid you hurt some one feelings. Could she have some medical reson for her weight? Maybe, but that don't give anyone the right to say complain at a venue that the seats are to small. If you don't like it get a refund.
Since nobody heard the conversation it is hard to say what happened. Maybe they did ask for a refund but the venue chose to upgrade their seats. That way they wouldn't lose the money from refunding her and her friend. They didn't lose anything from upgrading their seats to a seat that hadn't been sold anyway. They would have lost the cost of two seats for a refund.0 -
Replying to the many posters who have tried to insist that being morbidly obese is not a choice - that is an absolute cop out. YOU have a choice over what you put in your mouth. YOU are responsible for your life, whether you like it or not. Stop blaming all of these outside causes and accept the fact that you are responsible and that where you are at in life is the result of CHOICES you have made along the way. Yes, there are conditions that may make it easier to gain weight, but you CHOOSE whether or not to counteract those conditions. Sorry if I'm not willing to throw you a pity party, but I've gone through hard times in my own life, and I've overcome a lot of things through hard work and committed effort and good choices so I really don't have a lot of sympathy for people who spend the better part of their lives coming up with excuses. I've had to pass up the instant gratification for long term rewards countless times, so again, I don't have a lot of sympathy for people who choose not to and then want everyone to be all politically correct and tiptoe around them because they haven't.
BTW, I have the utmost respect for people with genuine disabilities - someone with MS, or a paraplegic, or an amputee, etc... doesn't have a choice about their condition - compare those conditions to obesity and take note of the difference.
...and you have a choice to go to a concert and sit in a seat you probably won't fit in. I honestly see both sides of this though. I feel people with disabilities need accommodations, someone with a temporary or unforeseen disability could use and appreciate accommodations. I also agree that her getting moved did not affect the OP at all, she still had her paid for seat. But the other side is , am I going to pay for tickets to Disney and ask for my money back because I don't fit on any of the rides? No, that would be ridiculous. We watch "Supersize Me" after our nutrition unit in school. Someone there makes the same statement about how telling someone to "put the fork down" would be considered offensive, while telling someone that they are killing themselves by smoking is not. Again, I really can agree with just about everyone on here- probably except that really rude person on the first page.0 -
Most obesity cases are hardly due to genetics.
Citation needed.
http://wellnessword.com/blog/health-wellness/childhood-obesity-not-just-genetic-but-learned/
http://www.tjclarkinc.com/d_genetic_obesity.htm
Just because one may be genetically more likely to become obese does not mean they should just give up and not try to live healthy. Genetics play a role in how your body stores fat, they don't determine how many servings of food you're eating. Ever wonder why obese parents often have obese children at fast food restaurants? Probably not just genetics there.
Those were blogs, not an actual medical study.
C'mon! I know you can try harder!
For the record, I am neither obese nor considered over-weight.
There are indeed examples of genetic diseases that cause one to be overweight or obese,
such as Prader Willi syndrome.
Wherein a person LITERALLY can not stop eating and will never feel full. That is what I'm referring to.
I'm not talking about the mother who thinks it a healthy choice to feed their kids soda and fries when they're only toddlers.0 -
According to some, she didn't deserve the "perk" because it was her choice to be fat.
It seems no one would have an issue if the person was truly handicapped because they didn't choose to be handicapped.
Well what about the 20 year old I know who got drunk, got in his car, hit someone head-on (killed them), was burned so badly his feet had to be amputated and he's in a wheelchair for the rest of his life? Do you not believe he deserves "perks" like handicapped parking because he did that to himself?
Or my uncle who is an alcoholic and has liver disease. He gets many "perks" too, but his condition was completely preventable.
Can you tell just by looking at someone whether they deserve special treatment or not?
The judgement, the assumptions, the lack of compasion are disheartening.
I don't think ANYONE deserves special treatment. Period. Most people that are living with a real handicap, don't want to be treated special. I am not going to cite every personal involvement with people in my life that suffer a form of physical handicap.
On the other hand, if that is the way the venue chose to handle the situation, it's nobody else's business.
I'm pretty tired of singling out those who are different for special consideration. If you're too fat to ride on a plane, don't expect the airlines to design you a special seat. If you don't like the selection of clothes at the local "Fat Person" clothing store, lose some weight or do something proactive like design plus-sized clothing.
Put the Sundae down, step away from the table and go for a walk.0 -
I'd also like to add, to all of the commenters who posted that the lady had a CHOICE and insisted that her being obese was due to her own negligence.
What if she has Prader Willi syndrome?
There are more than 120 diagnosed in Houston, Texas. It's not exceedingly rare.
It IS a disability, it IS incredibly life-threatening, and if she is affected SHE DID NOT CHOOSE it.
Yes, it's a shot in the dark whether she has it or not, but none of us know that she doesn't.
Every one is only judging based on the stereotype that an over-weight person simply chose to be over-weight, by not "putting the fork down", as you guys have put in an ever-so lovely colloquial term.0 -
I went to a concert earlier this week. There was a woman about two rows in front of me that was very overweight. My heart broke for her when I saw her try to sit in the seat and come nowhere close to fitting. She tried several ways to make it work, leaning sideways, sitting on the arms of the chair putting all her weight on her legs, leaning on the railing in front of her, and doing a squiggle of sorts to try to get in there. I wanted to go over there and give her a hug and my name and tell her where to find me on MFP. Of course I didn’t, because when I was heavy I wouldn’t have wanted someone to do it me, even though their intentions were good. I can’t lie, thinking back to what my life was when I was heavy, I was proud of her. I would have just stayed home because I’d rather miss out on life than suffer not fitting in seat. I wondered why she didn’t just stand up. It is a concert after all and a completely appropriate thing to do. Then I thought she might get tired easily and need to sit down. The venue has general admission lawn seating, so she could have gone out had a seat and taken break then come back to her closer spot when she was rested.
Ultimately, this is what happened and where things go a bit gray for me. Her friend complained to one of the ushers. I couldn’t hear the conversation, but given the demeanor of the all the parties involved it was fairly obvious they were discussing the uncomfortable topic of the seat being too small. After several minutes back and forth, the usher got on a walkie talkie and they were joined by another employee of the venue. Within minutes they had retrieved two folding chairs (padded and all) and moved both of the women up about 20 rows into the VIP section, where tickets cost over $180 more than the section we were in. I really can’t decide how I feel about that. At first, I was releived that venue did something to make her comfortable. Then, I was kind annoyed. They put them in seats that would have cost anyone else in our section an extra $400. If they had paid the $400, I would just been thrilled for her; however, the free upgrade for being heavy seems a bit unfair to everyone else that fits in their seats. Do you think the venue responded in the best way? Would a refund for her tickets or a refund of the price difference between her seat and general admission lawn that does not have size restrictions been appropriate? Even further but somewhat related, should venues be required to list their seat dimensions before you buy tickets?
Just curious what other people think because I’m seeing all the sides of this pretty clearly and honestly don’t know what side I land on.
Interesting that your "heart broke for her"----until she got something that you didn't.
This topic is so -small- that there is only one thing I have to say.
I hope, with all my heart, that something wonderful/beautiful/joyful happens to every single one of you here on this post. It does not matter to me if you are fat, thin, ugly, pretty, alcoholic, recovering, what ever. I hope something good, no, something GREAT happens to all of you today. And that stands without any "take backs" if something good does not happen to me today.0 -
I read through most of the 6 pages today.
I agree the venue had great customer service and took care of the lady who was obese. Keep a customer happy.
How many other people saw her trying to squeeze into her chair. how many giggled? how many pointed? Yes we know it happened, and i'm sure she was embarrassed. Nobody knows her circumstance so to speculate is just wrong.
2 small problems that would bother me.
The person in question got the upgrade. THAT SHOULD BE IT.
Why should her friend have gotten the upgrade?
What if there were 6 friends attending the concert. What would have happened then?
Seat dimensions. - So on the ticket, they should state, we have 18" width chairs? 20" chairs? or 20" between arm rests?
Anybody bigger, you need to....................go to the handicap area? you have to sit on the lawn, or you have to upgrade?
Then you get someone who thinks they CAN fit in those chairs.. What happens when they arrive and they can't?0 -
Responses like some of those in this thread are reasons that I avoided gyms, any health related classes, or walking (exercising at all) in public for a long time.
When I first started walking I was out one day and car of teens moo'd at me as they drove by - I stopped walking on public sidewalks and walked in (unsafe) areas that were hidden so I wouldn't be ridiculed.
When I first started working out at the gym, I couldn't get the hang of the stair stepper. A cruel lady laughed and told me I was probably too fat for it and I should try something else. That time I stopped going to the gym.
You have no idea about this ladies situation. How do you know she ISN'T working out? Perhaps she thought that 'by now' she'd fit in a theatre seat. Compassion is a wonderful thing. Just because you don't 'condone' her weight, doesn't mean you can't have sympathy for her feelings.
Thank God there are more supportive and understanding people on this site than displayed in this thread.0 -
Life is too short to care so much about someone getting a "perk" you didn't.
Before I express my opinion, I have to give a little background. While I'm very overweight, I've never had a problem paying for the extra seat on a plane, or standing for a concert because I wouldn't be comfortable in the seat. I've done a very physical job the last 18yrs working with violent developmentally disabled adults. About a year ago an altercation at work left me with broken cartilage in my knee, and 4 blown up discs in my back. So far I can only walk a couple hundred feet at a time, & can't stand longer than 20 min. before my back, hip & leg force me to take more pills & sit down.
That said, I cant even begin to express how disgusted I am by the attitude & comments of so many of the posters here. I agree with the posters who've pointed out that this didn't affect anyone else. Maybe the venue should have put her in a wheelchair area in the section she paid for, but for F***s sake, it didn't negatively impact anyone else. There's no reason to care. My wife has tried to get me to go to some places with her in a wheelchair, or shopping where I can use a motorized cart. But because of my size there's no way in the world that I would, because I know the way so many people would judge me. And while I'm sure my weight didn't help my injury, it was certainly not the primary cause. But until I'm healed, it's the couch for me, because I'll be damned if I'll put myself in a position to be judged (more than I already am for my size) by a bunch of people who don't know the whole story. I know I shouldn't care what conclusion others come to, but I don't think I could get passed that.
I find it hard to fathom the attitude of so many here who are better than someone else because they aren't as fat as them. Life is too short to spend it being a judgmental a**hole. I realize I may be one myself for saying this, but when people write the things they do, it's hard not to.
I agree with this. What happened happened...
It was cause for discrimination, however, and if this happens in the future you can complain and either get your seat upgraded as well, or you can sue.
I would have felt the same way you did OP, and I think a lot of people are becoming too enraged over this topic.
I'm not sure what kind of concert it was...but just think of it this way...I like concerts featuring hot, half naked guys :indifferent: Chances are although she got to be closer to them, she would still be judged by everyone as "never having a chance with such a hot guy" simply due to her weight. While, of course this isn't always true, most people will see it that way...0 -
What reason would she have to sue them?? That doesn't make sense. The last comment you made is just tacky. A lot of those guys would probably prefer someone that is overweight than someone skinny with sh*#tty personalityLife is too short to care so much about someone getting a "perk" you didn't.
Before I express my opinion, I have to give a little background. While I'm very overweight, I've never had a problem paying for the extra seat on a plane, or standing for a concert because I wouldn't be comfortable in the seat. I've done a very physical job the last 18yrs working with violent developmentally disabled adults. About a year ago an altercation at work left me with broken cartilage in my knee, and 4 blown up discs in my back. So far I can only walk a couple hundred feet at a time, & can't stand longer than 20 min. before my back, hip & leg force me to take more pills & sit down.
That said, I cant even begin to express how disgusted I am by the attitude & comments of so many of the posters here. I agree with the posters who've pointed out that this didn't affect anyone else. Maybe the venue should have put her in a wheelchair area in the section she paid for, but for F***s sake, it didn't negatively impact anyone else. There's no reason to care. My wife has tried to get me to go to some places with her in a wheelchair, or shopping where I can use a motorized cart. But because of my size there's no way in the world that I would, because I know the way so many people would judge me. And while I'm sure my weight didn't help my injury, it was certainly not the primary cause. But until I'm healed, it's the couch for me, because I'll be damned if I'll put myself in a position to be judged (more than I already am for my size) by a bunch of people who don't know the whole story. I know I shouldn't care what conclusion others come to, but I don't think I could get passed that.
I find it hard to fathom the attitude of so many here who are better than someone else because they aren't as fat as them. Life is too short to spend it being a judgmental a**hole. I realize I may be one myself for saying this, but when people write the things they do, it's hard not to.
I agree with this. What happened happened...
It was cause for discrimination, however, and if this happens in the future you can complain and either get your seat upgraded as well, or you can sue.
I would have felt the same way you did OP, and I think a lot of people are becoming too enraged over this topic.
I'm not sure what kind of concert it was...but just think of it this way...I like concerts featuring hot, half naked guys :indifferent: Chances are although she got to be closer to them, she would still be judged by everyone as "never having a chance with such a hot guy" simply due to her weight. While, of course this isn't always true, most people will see it that way...0 -
Life is too short to care so much about someone getting a "perk" you didn't.
Before I express my opinion, I have to give a little background. While I'm very overweight, I've never had a problem paying for the extra seat on a plane, or standing for a concert because I wouldn't be comfortable in the seat. I've done a very physical job the last 18yrs working with violent developmentally disabled adults. About a year ago an altercation at work left me with broken cartilage in my knee, and 4 blown up discs in my back. So far I can only walk a couple hundred feet at a time, & can't stand longer than 20 min. before my back, hip & leg force me to take more pills & sit down.
That said, I cant even begin to express how disgusted I am by the attitude & comments of so many of the posters here. I agree with the posters who've pointed out that this didn't affect anyone else. Maybe the venue should have put her in a wheelchair area in the section she paid for, but for F***s sake, it didn't negatively impact anyone else. There's no reason to care. My wife has tried to get me to go to some places with her in a wheelchair, or shopping where I can use a motorized cart. But because of my size there's no way in the world that I would, because I know the way so many people would judge me. And while I'm sure my weight didn't help my injury, it was certainly not the primary cause. But until I'm healed, it's the couch for me, because I'll be damned if I'll put myself in a position to be judged (more than I already am for my size) by a bunch of people who don't know the whole story. I know I shouldn't care what conclusion others come to, but I don't think I could get passed that.
I find it hard to fathom the attitude of so many here who are better than someone else because they aren't as fat as them. Life is too short to spend it being a judgmental a**hole. I realize I may be one myself for saying this, but when people write the things they do, it's hard not to.
I agree with this. What happened happened...
It was cause for discrimination, however, and if this happens in the future you can complain and either get your seat upgraded as well, or you can sue.
I would have felt the same way you did OP, and I think a lot of people are becoming too enraged over this topic.
I'm not sure what kind of concert it was...but just think of it this way...I like concerts featuring hot, half naked guys :indifferent: Chances are although she got to be closer to them, she would still be judged by everyone as "never having a chance with such a hot guy" simply due to her weight. While, of course this isn't always true, most people will see it that way...
Please tell me your last comment was meant to be funny.0 -
I will only say that I love people no matter how big or small, but just because you are too big for the seat doesn't mean you should be upgraded to a spot that costs more than the ticket you paid for. It is not the venues fault that you are overweight and it isn't fair to the people who are not overweight and had to pay for the better seats.0
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I went to a concert earlier this week. There was a woman about two rows in front of me that was very overweight. My heart broke for her when I saw her try to sit in the seat and come nowhere close to fitting. She tried several ways to make it work, leaning sideways, sitting on the arms of the chair putting all her weight on her legs, leaning on the railing in front of her, and doing a squiggle of sorts to try to get in there. I wanted to go over there and give her a hug and my name and tell her where to find me on MFP. Of course I didn’t, because when I was heavy I wouldn’t have wanted someone to do it me, even though their intentions were good. I can’t lie, thinking back to what my life was when I was heavy, I was proud of her. I would have just stayed home because I’d rather miss out on life than suffer not fitting in seat. I wondered why she didn’t just stand up. It is a concert after all and a completely appropriate thing to do. Then I thought she might get tired easily and need to sit down. The venue has general admission lawn seating, so she could have gone out had a seat and taken break then come back to her closer spot when she was rested.
Ultimately, this is what happened and where things go a bit gray for me. Her friend complained to one of the ushers. I couldn’t hear the conversation, but given the demeanor of the all the parties involved it was fairly obvious they were discussing the uncomfortable topic of the seat being too small. After several minutes back and forth, the usher got on a walkie talkie and they were joined by another employee of the venue. Within minutes they had retrieved two folding chairs (padded and all) and moved both of the women up about 20 rows into the VIP section, where tickets cost over $180 more than the section we were in. I really can’t decide how I feel about that. At first, I was releived that venue did something to make her comfortable. Then, I was kind annoyed. They put them in seats that would have cost anyone else in our section an extra $400. If they had paid the $400, I would just been thrilled for her; however, the free upgrade for being heavy seems a bit unfair to everyone else that fits in their seats. Do you think the venue responded in the best way? Would a refund for her tickets or a refund of the price difference between her seat and general admission lawn that does not have size restrictions been appropriate? Even further but somewhat related, should venues be required to list their seat dimensions before you buy tickets?
Just curious what other people think because I’m seeing all the sides of this pretty clearly and honestly don’t know what side I land on.
Interesting that your "heart broke for her"----until she got something that you didn't.
This topic is so -small- that there is only one thing I have to say.
I hope, with all my heart, that something wonderful/beautiful/joyful happens to every single one of you here on this post. It does not matter to me if you are fat, thin, ugly, pretty, alcoholic, recovering, what ever. I hope something good, no, something GREAT happens to all of you today. And that stands without any "take backs" if something good does not happen to me today.
I hope something good happens to you today!0 -
WOW! This thread is more entertaining than The Real Housewives!0
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Many overweight people don't "choose" to be. Medical conditions, prescriptions, and psychological issues can cause someone to gain weight out of their control.
is there seiously any kind of medical condition that would cause someone to become morbidly obese without making some poor choices alond the way. i would doubt it but if someone can prove me wrong then i will be happy to accept it.
sure, some people maybe more predisposed for storing fat etc etc but im sure it would take more than just a genetic or medical condition to become so large that you cant fit in to a seat.
Hypothyroidism
Prader-Willi Syndrome
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
Cushing Syndrome
Cardiac and Kidney problems can cause water retention
Urinary problems
Repiratory problems
Antidepressants
Corticosteriods - my friend gained almost 100 pounds after being on them for a lengthy period of time due to her medical issue
Lithium
Tranquilizers
Phenothiazines
All of the above can make you gain weight.
And that's off the top of my head.
They CAN make you lose weight, but none of them will make you morbidly obese and there is nothing you can do about it. if you have a condition, then you need to do what you need to do to be able to live with that condition.0 -
I hope that the people that say that the venue handled things inappropriately BECAUSE it was her fault that she couldn't fit into the seat, or because she was having a difficulty, never have to feel the ridicule, or the nasty attitudes they themselves or others, demonstrate. While I don't agree that a folding chair should have been moved closer to the stage, I am glad to see that people are realizing that right or wrong, people are overweight, and need to be accomodated for comfort if they're going to be sold tickets to events. And to make a general statement that someone that you don't know, is at fault for their obesity, is totally judgmental and unfair. No one knows what this woman's issue was, if she has a medical condition that hasn't been treated due to lack of insurance, or overeating, or whatever. So until we've walked a mile in someone else's shoes, we all need to show the respect and compassion that we expect others to show us.
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Many overweight people don't "choose" to be. Medical conditions, prescriptions, and psychological issues can cause someone to gain weight out of their control.
is there seiously any kind of medical condition that would cause someone to become morbidly obese without making some poor choices alond the way. i would doubt it but if someone can prove me wrong then i will be happy to accept it.
sure, some people maybe more predisposed for storing fat etc etc but im sure it would take more than just a genetic or medical condition to become so large that you cant fit in to a seat.
Hypothyroidism
Prader-Willi Syndrome
Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
Cushing Syndrome
Cardiac and Kidney problems can cause water retention
Urinary problems
Repiratory problems
Antidepressants
Corticosteriods - my friend gained almost 100 pounds after being on them for a lengthy period of time due to her medical issue
Lithium
Tranquilizers
Phenothiazines
All of the above can make you gain weight.
And that's off the top of my head.
They CAN make you lose weight, but none of them will make you morbidly obese and there is nothing you can do about it. if you have a condition, then you need to do what you need to do to be able to live with that condition.
So fat folks should stay away from any and all public situations where their weight might be an issue (for them or for others)? We (yeah, WE--I don' t know about YOU, but I'm here because I'm FAT) should just sit at home and do whatever we need to do to meet some societal standard, and if we can't/won't do that, we should just stay away?
Here's how I got fat--when I was in 2nd grade, my weight DOUBLED in one year. Doubled. I went from 45 lbs to 90 in a year. My parents could have taken me to a doctor (who would have told them, as, 20 years later, my neurologist told me, that my pineal gland was completely calcified and my thyroid function was only a hair above "hypothyroid"), but instead they ridiculed me viciously and called me awful names, as did the kids at school. I went from being "Kris" to being "garbage gut," and "fatty-fatty-two-by-four." By age 15, I had attempted suicide twice. I made a deal with myself--the weight comes off or I eat my mother's gun. I stopped eating. Period. I was hospitalized repeatedly for passing out, found myself anemic. My periods stopped. My gums began bleeding and my teeth loosened. My hair thinned. But I lost 135 lbs in 6 months, and I KEPT it off for 8 years, even learning to eat pretty normally the last few. Amazing what a car accident, fractured vertebrae, and herniated and ruptured disks do to your ability to move and exercise. I went from having hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and back in one day (North Rim) to being almost in tears from the agony of "hiking" from the front door to the car. In order to keep from gaining, I would have had to limit my calories to around 1200 a day forever. But I didn't. I ate like I had been before the accident, I ate like an active person. And yeah, it put a major, major amount of weight on me over the years. The devastating depression helped, I'm sure.
So what? So I'm fat. That means I don't get to enjoy social outings or public places? I choose to be fat? My choices earned me my place in fattydom? I have a kid next door whose choices landed him in a wheelchair for life. Should we not accomodate him, either, or is it just the fatties we hate?
This thread has been wrenchingly disappointing in so many ways. Even if I didn't have a *good* excuse for my weight, what on earth does that matter to anyone? I understand hating people who represent what you no longer want to be. I get demonizing your old peer group in order to keep from "backsliding." But I really don't feel this is the place for a bunch of "you're fat because you're lazy and your choices got you where you are, so don't expect society to blah, blah, blah!" Save it for some hate boards somewhere--this place is supposed to be about support, not cold, judgmental condemnations and mean finger-pointing.
And so you know, I've been the fat chick who couldn't fit in the chair (and chairs are NOT uniformly sized, some are good fits and others aren't, and there's NO predicting it). I've been the fat chick who has been so traumatized and brutalized by people's ridicule that I dropped out of life years ago. I stopped going to movies, I stopped going to restaurants, I even passed up some vacations because I was afraid of being too big for the airplane seat. I have never had a family portrait done with my husband and son. And what's got me on track now was a lucky accident--I discovered recumbent stationary bikes, which finally made it possible for me to exercise for long periods without crippling pain. Well, that and diabetes. I am inspired. But reading some of these comments? They're crushing--of all the places to find that sort of thing, I thought we were safe here. I thought we were among friends.
Oh, in case you were wondering? The car accident that destroyed my back? I was a passenger, and I weighed 138 at the time. But hey, if I had been the driver and the accident had been the result of some mistake I'd made, would that make a difference? How about if I'd been overweight at the time?
Kris0 -
Maybe the tickets were a gift? A non-refundable gift?
This is a total **** show. Do you honestly think that being marched to the front in plain view of the entire audience so you can sit on a ****ING folding chair is a REWARD? Right, because that wouldn't be humiliating for any of you. She probably wanted to go home, but didn't want to ruin her friend's evening.
This lack of sympathy disgusts me. Shame on you.
OP, this is only partially directed at you, because I realise that you were just trying to see how others would feel. Well, now you know.
I totally agree with this. For a site full of overweight or formerly overweight people, it really surprizes me the total lack of compassion shown. If she'd been in a wheelchair would the lot of you have been pissed if she got upgraded to a better section to accomodate the chair?
I was on a plane with my disabled mother once. She was unable to bend her knees without severe pain. We were both upgraded to first class to accomodate her needs. I believe the airline did the right thing, as I believe the concert venue did.0 -
Well said, it seems to be all about her being fat! If she had been cute as a button and charmed the usher who moved her and her friend up to "better" seats there wouldn't have been a discussion....
Prejudice is when we generalize, all fat people are bad, lazy, ugly and deserve to stay home.0 -
Kris,
At no point have i said that larger people should not go out in public, nor have i said that they shouldnt attend functions etc etc.
the point of the thread, and of my posts is that some who is larger should not receive things that the rest of us dont, in this case a free upgrade at a concert.
your ticker also says that you have lost 66lbs. this tells me that your are able to and are doing something about it. not to mention that your case would be in the minority of those that are morbidly obese.
all i am saying is that there is no-one that absolutely 100% has to be morbidly obese. And what i am asking for is equality for EVERYONE.
There are a lot of things out there (clubs, scholarships, competitions etc) out there that are for specific groups of people. But i know of none that are only for white males. where is the equality of that?
if i went to a concert and couldnt sit in a chair for whatever reason (cos i was too fat, because i have heameroids and the chairs arent padded) heres what i would do. i would ask if there was somewhere i could stand that was out of the way, if not i would leave. i probably wouldnt ask for a refund as i wouldnt think that i was entitled to one as i wasnt sold something that was misrepresented or faulty in anyway. however, if the seat was broken or not able to be used by anyone, then yes i would expect another seat and an upgrade would be a nice bonus, but unnecesary.0 -
Well said, it seems to be all about her being fat! If she had been cute as a button and charmed the usher who moved her and her friend up to "better" seats there wouldn't have been a discussion....
Prejudice is when we generalize, all fat people are bad, lazy, ugly and deserve to stay home.
i call bulls*** on this also. i dont care who you are or what you look like, if you paid for a seat then that is where you should sit. an upgrade should only be given if the VENUE is at fault for something.0
This discussion has been closed.
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