Stranger or Spouse?

NikkisNewStart
NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
edited September 29 in Chit-Chat
Random question & I want the truth! No PC answers allowed. Does it make you feel better to be desired by your spouse/partner or by a stranger... i.e. If your husband whistles at you, you're like 'yeah whatever' but if a stranger does it, you're like a giddy schoolgirl/boy. I have no specific examples to share & nothing happened that prompted me to ask... just curious! And however you answer, why do you feel that way?
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Replies

  • thenewkarisa
    thenewkarisa Posts: 207
    I think something from a stranger works better.... cause your BF/spouse says you look good cause he/she's used to you... I think... so if a stranger gave me a compliment, I might think wow, I don't have to rely on my personality anymore LOL
  • poopoomonkey1978
    poopoomonkey1978 Posts: 108 Member
    I feel better knowing that I am desired by my partner. Why be with someone if they can't even really stand to look at or touch you. That being said it also makes me feel good to know that someone that I am not with would want me based on looks only. When it comes down to it though there is so much more then looks that hopefully made your partner desire you and continue to desire you
  • keb80
    keb80 Posts: 394
    Being totally honest... strangers. Your spouse kinda 'has' to find you attractive, don't they? When a stranger takes notice, it makes you feel good and lets you know you still got "it".
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
    stranger... and i think that's because a stranger has no obligation to be nice or to be careful to not hurt my feelings.
    i have no expectations that a stranger might/should find me attractive... whereas hubby (one would think) would be the one person to tell you you look great even if he really does not think you do.

    edited to add:
    mind you i might be biased in this answer.. as hubby never ever mentions finding me attractive...and when i actually have to ask, his answer is.. you look fine, you know me... i don't notice that kind of stuff
    *sighs*

    yup... strangers for sure
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    I feel better when desired by a stranger, but even at my biggest, strangers would hit on me because of my personality. Which, you know is good, but I can't wait to hear how good I look in a tank top or my skinny jeans. All of my friends and family and husband are skinny and I can't wait til I can trade clothes (with the women) and feel I can hold my own without being a clown around them.
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    I will go with strangers as well. My wife "has" to say those things, but a stranger doesn't.
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
    BOTH!
    seriously, if a stranger finds me attractive, that would be a big ego boost, it gives me the feeling of accomplishment..... i think its human nature to feel desired by the opposite sex...... if my wife finds me more attractive, that keeps the fire burning at home. It may sound PC but its how I see it. But it goes without saying that we need our spouses to find us attractive, and to let us know it! If not, we may gravitate towards the stranger....... I didnt make that up, that *kitten* was on Oprah!! lol
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
    I like them both.
  • loriannmartin
    loriannmartin Posts: 209 Member
    well i would like both... honestly my hubby hasnt noticed the 27 pounds i lost :-( i dont ever feel attractive so it is kinda exciting if a stranger or my husband would say something...
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    Love these honest answers! I have no desire to be with anyone else and it makes me feel great when my husband compliments me... but when I get a stare from another I'm like "yeah, mama's still got it" even though I have no interest in entertaining any offers... does that make sense? lol
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    BOTH!
    seriously, if a stranger finds me attractive, that would be a big ego boost, it gives me the feeling of accomplishment..... i think its human nature to feel desired by the opposite sex...... if my wife finds me more attractive, that keeps the fire burning at home. It may sound PC but its how I see it. But it goes without saying that we need our spouses to find us attractive, and to let us know it! If not, we may gravitate towards the stranger....... I didnt make that up, that *kitten* was on Oprah!! lol

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
    Love these honest answers! I have no desire to be with anyone else and it makes me feel great when my husband compliments me... but when I get a stare from another I'm like "yeah, mama's still got it" even though I have no interest in entertaining any offers... does that make sense? lol
    Perfectly good sense!
  • fourmenandalady
    fourmenandalady Posts: 22
    From a stranger definitely, because our spouses sometimes will tell a white lie just to spare our feelings wherein a stranger is painfully honest!!!!!
  • faithgin
    faithgin Posts: 32
    stranger, if its the spouse i know why and i have a headache!
  • keb80
    keb80 Posts: 394
    stranger, if its the spouse i know why and i have a headache!

    OMG!!! Thats so true!!! They are most affectionate/complimentary when they want something!!
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
    I think something from a stranger works better.... cause your BF/spouse says you look good cause he/she's used to you... I think... so if a stranger gave me a compliment, I might think wow, I don't have to rely on my personality anymore LOL

    I love this
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    Depends on the stranger....Clive Owen = Husband who? Fat guy at beach in speedo = vomit in mouth while running to husband for comfort.
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
    My spouse because it would take alot for him to notice me in the sense he sees me everyday. Although it feels good to also hear compliments from strangers.
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    My hubby loves me thin or fat - he's blinded by love.

    When someone else notices or flirts, it means someone's looking. I'll take it!
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Another person flirting with me might give me a momentary thrill, but my husband is quite the accomplished flirt. He has a look that makes me melt and blush at the same time. So, I'll go with my husband's flirtations...

    EDIT: He has liked my body regardless, but he has noticed my efforts and change in body shape and he likes it.

    And he, unlike the random stranger, has the opportunity to take the flirtation to the next level. ;)

    Someone who is still attracted to me after years of seeing me daily... now that is awesome.

    Change the outfit, the makeup or whatever, and that same stranger might not look at me twice.
  • PaulaDDN
    PaulaDDN Posts: 162 Member
    stranger, if its the spouse i know why and i have a headache!

    OMG!!! Thats so true!!! They are most affectionate/complimentary when they want something!!

    Totally agree
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    Depends on the stranger....Clive Owen = Husband who? Fat guy at beach in speedo = vomit in mouth while running to husband for comfort.

    OMG this is hilarious!!! So true!
  • PaulaDDN
    PaulaDDN Posts: 162 Member
    My husband
  • StLouisTim
    StLouisTim Posts: 22
    My husband

    Nice Recovery
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    My husband

    Nice Recovery

    :laugh: :laugh: This turned into a funny and enlightening thread. Thanks y'all for playing along! You know once, when I was heavier, I told my husband that a guy checked me out on the Interstate. He said... "he must have been old or fat."

    You know... that really hurt my feelings... but now when I tell him someone was checking me out he starts giving me 20 questions b/c he knows the ones looking were neither old or fat! :laugh: :laugh:
  • joehempel
    joehempel Posts: 1,543 Member
    I will say stranger...there is just something about it that makes you feel like "you still got it" or are "getting it".
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    I always feel better about myself when it comes from strangers. And I am not just comparing this to my fiance, but everyone I know! Cause my mom will tell me and my friends will tell me that I look nice and blah blah...but when someone who you don't really know says it, you seem to believe it more.

    I think this is true because people you know are already attached to you, and if they say something "bad" then there are consequences and sometimes they feel obligated to be all nice all the time. Of course they mean it (I would hope)...but strangers have nothing to gain or lose by giving someone else a compliment or put down. So if they compliment you, they definitely mean it cause it's not like they are saying it "just to say it" cause they know you.

    Gosh it's hard to express in words what I mean...lol!
  • Adynata
    Adynata Posts: 128 Member
    Pfft I only get hit on by ugly strangers in the real world. Compliments from my boyfriend, however, are like parrots that crap diamonds: valuable, elusive, and overall awkwardly forced out.
  • MistyMtnMan
    MistyMtnMan Posts: 527 Member
    Pfft I only get hit on by ugly strangers in the real world. Compliments from my boyfriend, however, are like parrots that crap diamonds: valuable, elusive, and overall awkwardly forced out.
    Haha hilarious!
  • Atlantique
    Atlantique Posts: 2,484 Member
    Spouse/partner. Who cares what anyone else thinks?
This discussion has been closed.

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