Stranger or Spouse?

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NikkisNewStart
NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
in Chit-Chat
Random question & I want the truth! No PC answers allowed. Does it make you feel better to be desired by your spouse/partner or by a stranger... i.e. If your husband whistles at you, you're like 'yeah whatever' but if a stranger does it, you're like a giddy schoolgirl/boy. I have no specific examples to share & nothing happened that prompted me to ask... just curious! And however you answer, why do you feel that way?
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  • thenewkarisa
    thenewkarisa Posts: 207
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    I think something from a stranger works better.... cause your BF/spouse says you look good cause he/she's used to you... I think... so if a stranger gave me a compliment, I might think wow, I don't have to rely on my personality anymore LOL
  • poopoomonkey1978
    poopoomonkey1978 Posts: 108 Member
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    I feel better knowing that I am desired by my partner. Why be with someone if they can't even really stand to look at or touch you. That being said it also makes me feel good to know that someone that I am not with would want me based on looks only. When it comes down to it though there is so much more then looks that hopefully made your partner desire you and continue to desire you
  • keb80
    keb80 Posts: 394
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    Being totally honest... strangers. Your spouse kinda 'has' to find you attractive, don't they? When a stranger takes notice, it makes you feel good and lets you know you still got "it".
  • ShellyMacchi
    ShellyMacchi Posts: 975 Member
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    stranger... and i think that's because a stranger has no obligation to be nice or to be careful to not hurt my feelings.
    i have no expectations that a stranger might/should find me attractive... whereas hubby (one would think) would be the one person to tell you you look great even if he really does not think you do.

    edited to add:
    mind you i might be biased in this answer.. as hubby never ever mentions finding me attractive...and when i actually have to ask, his answer is.. you look fine, you know me... i don't notice that kind of stuff
    *sighs*

    yup... strangers for sure
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
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    I feel better when desired by a stranger, but even at my biggest, strangers would hit on me because of my personality. Which, you know is good, but I can't wait to hear how good I look in a tank top or my skinny jeans. All of my friends and family and husband are skinny and I can't wait til I can trade clothes (with the women) and feel I can hold my own without being a clown around them.
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
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    I will go with strangers as well. My wife "has" to say those things, but a stranger doesn't.
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    BOTH!
    seriously, if a stranger finds me attractive, that would be a big ego boost, it gives me the feeling of accomplishment..... i think its human nature to feel desired by the opposite sex...... if my wife finds me more attractive, that keeps the fire burning at home. It may sound PC but its how I see it. But it goes without saying that we need our spouses to find us attractive, and to let us know it! If not, we may gravitate towards the stranger....... I didnt make that up, that *kitten* was on Oprah!! lol
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
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    I like them both.
  • loriannmartin
    loriannmartin Posts: 209 Member
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    well i would like both... honestly my hubby hasnt noticed the 27 pounds i lost :-( i dont ever feel attractive so it is kinda exciting if a stranger or my husband would say something...
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Love these honest answers! I have no desire to be with anyone else and it makes me feel great when my husband compliments me... but when I get a stare from another I'm like "yeah, mama's still got it" even though I have no interest in entertaining any offers... does that make sense? lol
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
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    BOTH!
    seriously, if a stranger finds me attractive, that would be a big ego boost, it gives me the feeling of accomplishment..... i think its human nature to feel desired by the opposite sex...... if my wife finds me more attractive, that keeps the fire burning at home. It may sound PC but its how I see it. But it goes without saying that we need our spouses to find us attractive, and to let us know it! If not, we may gravitate towards the stranger....... I didnt make that up, that *kitten* was on Oprah!! lol

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    Love these honest answers! I have no desire to be with anyone else and it makes me feel great when my husband compliments me... but when I get a stare from another I'm like "yeah, mama's still got it" even though I have no interest in entertaining any offers... does that make sense? lol
    Perfectly good sense!
  • fourmenandalady
    fourmenandalady Posts: 22
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    From a stranger definitely, because our spouses sometimes will tell a white lie just to spare our feelings wherein a stranger is painfully honest!!!!!
  • faithgin
    faithgin Posts: 32
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    stranger, if its the spouse i know why and i have a headache!
  • keb80
    keb80 Posts: 394
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    stranger, if its the spouse i know why and i have a headache!

    OMG!!! Thats so true!!! They are most affectionate/complimentary when they want something!!
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
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    I think something from a stranger works better.... cause your BF/spouse says you look good cause he/she's used to you... I think... so if a stranger gave me a compliment, I might think wow, I don't have to rely on my personality anymore LOL

    I love this
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    Depends on the stranger....Clive Owen = Husband who? Fat guy at beach in speedo = vomit in mouth while running to husband for comfort.
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
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    My spouse because it would take alot for him to notice me in the sense he sees me everyday. Although it feels good to also hear compliments from strangers.
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
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    My hubby loves me thin or fat - he's blinded by love.

    When someone else notices or flirts, it means someone's looking. I'll take it!
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
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    Another person flirting with me might give me a momentary thrill, but my husband is quite the accomplished flirt. He has a look that makes me melt and blush at the same time. So, I'll go with my husband's flirtations...

    EDIT: He has liked my body regardless, but he has noticed my efforts and change in body shape and he likes it.

    And he, unlike the random stranger, has the opportunity to take the flirtation to the next level. ;)

    Someone who is still attracted to me after years of seeing me daily... now that is awesome.

    Change the outfit, the makeup or whatever, and that same stranger might not look at me twice.

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