Stranger or Spouse?
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My husband is a BIG guy. He outweighs me by over 100 pounds. And he's hairy. Not quite "wearing a sweater" hair, but he's a wooly mammoth. And he gets bacne.
And I think he's absolutely gorgeous. He has amazing green eyes with long thick lashes. A fantastic smile. Great bone structure. Incredible, muscular legs. A wide, strong back. An adorable cleft in his chin, even though it's covered with a goatee at the moment. He's a beautiful person, and whether he's overweight or not, I don't care. I don't look at him and think, "Ew. Fat hairy guy with pimples on his back." I see... my honey.
If I'm biased, it's because he's an amazing man who holds my heart. I can't see that as a negative!
And I know he feels the same way about me. He adored me when I was skinny. He adored me when I was fat. He adores me now that I'm fit, and is proud as hell because he knows how hard I work to be this way.0 -
And, I'm not trying to tell anyone to not like getting flirted with by a stranger. I'm just sayin' don't discredit what your husband says because he has to... because, really, he doesn't.
Its hard to understand how they can say the same thing to you that they did 100 lbs heavier and have it truly mean something.
edited to add
Its difficult mentally and emotionally to accept both of them. do you understand?
This would imply that it must have been a complete lie when they said it at 100 lbs heavier, so of course none of it is true until they get some outside validation.
But then at that point, the spouse has proven to be an unreliable source, and the relationship becomes threaded with issues of mistrust coming from two directions.0 -
From there, the woman starts to see out that outside gratification and attention in ever increasing amounts. She starts to dress different, clothing that accentuates the body she worked hard for. She begins thinking to herself, 'Can I land him? What about him?' it becomes a challenge to feed her own issues of self worth. But soon, even that isn't enough to fill the hole that is inside her. Getting looks, guys flirting, and all that comes with that sort of thing isn't enough any more and she starts compensating with elicit sex, she needs to be wanted, truly desired, and to have that fulfilled. But in the end it's empty, and she keeps having to go further and further just to get that same level of fleeting satisfaction and sense of self worth.
Soon she starts a career in porn. Oh, it started out innocently enough, and it was a thrill. $200 bucks for a 10 min scene under hot lights, and of course nobody would recognize her under all the makeup and hair. But the thrill didn't last, she had to do more, and why not, the money is good, what's wrong with getting paid for something you enjoy?
Initially it's all great, but then things start to slow down, and just when she was getting used to the quick money and the power it afforded her. But then things start to slow down, and it's no longer about desire, but maintaining the easy lifestyle she has gotten involved in, not to mention the cocaine habit she has acquired,( besides, she hates men now). She turns to escort services, and a few websites that specialize in discreet encounters. She even flies to Europe at some point and does a few films with a very narrow nich market.
Now she starts to feel a little dirty even though all the other girls in the industry tell her this is all normal. She even parrots the same phrases they do, helps out the new girls, the flavor of the month. But she is not happy, so she begins using more cocaine till she is cut off. She then turns to craigslist and posts her services disguised at massage ads. She is so empty inside.... Then one night, in a drunken fit and a last cry for attention, she calls everyone she knows and tells them she is done, she doesn't want to live anymore, then she cuts her wrists...
Then Lifetime buys the movie rights, and several women cry while watching the movie and blame it all on men.0 -
My husband is a BIG guy. He outweighs me by over 100 pounds. And he's hairy. Not quite "wearing a sweater" hair, but he's a wooly mammoth. And he gets bacne.
And I think he's absolutely gorgeous. He has amazing green eyes with long thick lashes. A fantastic smile. Great bone structure. Incredible, muscular legs. A wide, strong back. An adorable cleft in his chin, even though it's covered with a goatee at the moment. He's a beautiful person, and whether he's overweight or not, I don't care. I don't look at him and think, "Ew. Fat hairy guy with pimples on his back." I see... my honey.
If I'm biased, it's because he's an amazing man who holds my heart. I can't see that as a negative!
And I know he feels the same way about me. He adored me when I was skinny. He adored me when I was fat. He adores me now that I'm fit, and is proud as hell because he knows how hard I work to be this way.
LOVE this post..
That is the way it should be.0 -
It can be nice if a stranger says "Hey you look really pretty tonight...you have a great smile....would i be able to buy you a drink or do you have a boyfriend?"
Very nice and sweet.
Unfortunately i tend to get a hell of a lot more of *random guy grabs my *kitten** "You're well fit. So are you coming back to mine?"
Also had the creepy weirdo that grabbed hold of my free hand while i was holding hands with my bf and just stared at me...wtf?
I really don't like people i don't know grabbing me as a way of showing how i meet their approval Lol.
Whereas if my bf grabs my *kitten* and says "You're so hot, i can't keep my hands off you" I feel damn good
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My husband is a BIG guy. He outweighs me by over 100 pounds. And he's hairy. Not quite "wearing a sweater" hair, but he's a wooly mammoth. And he gets bacne.
And I think he's absolutely gorgeous. He has amazing green eyes with long thick lashes. A fantastic smile. Great bone structure. Incredible, muscular legs. A wide, strong back. An adorable cleft in his chin, even though it's covered with a goatee at the moment. He's a beautiful person, and whether he's overweight or not, I don't care. I don't look at him and think, "Ew. Fat hairy guy with pimples on his back." I see... my honey.
If I'm biased, it's because he's an amazing man who holds my heart. I can't see that as a negative!
And I know he feels the same way about me. He adored me when I was skinny. He adored me when I was fat. He adores me now that I'm fit, and is proud as hell because he knows how hard I work to be this way.
This makes me cry, I love this..how wonderful, you put a huge smile on my face..thank you!0 -
Some people are really, really weird.0
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I don't plan on sleeping with anyone else, so I would say my husband.0
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It does make you feel good about yourself when other guys stare and think you look hot, but when my husband says it I know that he means it and that he isnt just saying it because he has to! He just told me over the 4th of July weekend that I looked so hot all weekend!! This made me feel amazing and I am so glad that he still feels this way about me and hope that this never changes!! When another guy thinks I am hot I think to myself "Ya I am a MILF and go ahead and stare but I am taken and my husband is the only man for me" 0
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Some people are really, really weird.
Are you hitting on me??? o.O
Off topic: My moon crabs are named Bubbles and Sergeant Meowenstein.0 -
Some people are really, really weird.
Are you hitting on me??? o.O
Off topic: My moon crabs are named Bubbles and Sergeant Meowenstein.
I don't know what moon crabs are, but they must be AWESOME0 -
Some people are really, really weird.
Are you hitting on me??? o.O
Off topic: My moon crabs are named Bubbles and Sergeant Meowenstein.
I don't know what moon crabs are, but they must be AWESOME
Are they crabs FROM THE MOON?0 -
Some people are really, really weird.
Are you hitting on me??? o.O
Um. Yes. :blushing:0 -
Some people are really, really weird.
Are you hitting on me??? o.O
Off topic: My moon crabs are named Bubbles and Sergeant Meowenstein.
I don't know what moon crabs are, but they must be AWESOME
Are they crabs FROM THE MOON?
They are both awesome AND from the moon! Or Costa Rica; I can't quite remember.0 -
from my spouse. Only because it doesnt happen very often and sometimes we get comfy in our relationships and i want to know he still has the hots for me.
When others do it its nice too but more meaningful when its your SO!0 -
Random question & I want the truth! No PC answers allowed. Does it make you feel better to be desired by your spouse/partner or by a stranger... i.e. If your husband whistles at you, you're like 'yeah whatever' but if a stranger does it, you're like a giddy schoolgirl/boy. I have no specific examples to share & nothing happened that prompted me to ask... just curious! And however you answer, why do you feel that way?
I find catcalls from strangers a little icky.. and threatening actually... someone winked at me on the tube the other day and although i think that is quite funny i got off the other side of the carriage to avoid him.
i love it when my boyfriend ogles me, makes me feel unbelievably horny, and sexy, because he's very sexy and i love our chemistry together so I feel good knowing that the one person i think is DIVINE thinks the same of me...0 -
Really good question!!
I'm going to have to say stranger, but with some explanation/qualifications, LOL.
First of all, I've never been hit on by a stranger in a dirty way, it has always been sweet and kind. And I've NEVER been touched- I would FREAK if someone randomly came up and touched me in ANY way.
Secondly, my husband is completely honest with me about everything. He never says things just to say it or because he has to. And I love that about him. So when he says random things that he actually notices (because usually, he doesn't), it totally makes my day. The other day, he was putting cream on my legs after I got out of the shower, and he commented about how my legs are so skinny. I couldn't stop smiling. :happy:
And lastly, I never "look my best." I don't do anything with my hair- half the time, I don't even brush it. I never wear makeup. I never dress "sexy." So when a stranger goes out of his (or her) way to tell me that I'm cute/gorgeous/etc., something that NEVER happened before I lost weight, I get all flushed and embarrassed and flattered by it. It tells me that what I'm doing is working, and I love that. On top of it, my husband loves it when that happens, because it just makes him even more proud of me and it gives HIM an ego boost too, because he's lucky enough to have me!
:laugh: 0 -
i think everyone likes the attention off others, be it a smile from a good looking guy or a chat up line, it makes us feel good about ourselves. I love it when my husband compliments me, but he compliments everyday and it doesnt matter that much really as its something he does. But a stranger, thats different, its nice to know that somebody other than a partner finds you attractive, its a bit of a boost aswel as flattery0
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I wouldn't know, I never get either
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you are kidding...stranger...of course...
My husband is often telling me how great I look
(I don't believe him) but when a stranger tell you...
that's a different story...0 -
Both.
It's nice to be noticed by strangers because then I know I must be looking good for some guys to take a double look! I also love it when my boyfriend tells me how good I look because it's nice to have that affection from him. 0 -
My husband is a BIG guy. He outweighs me by over 100 pounds. And he's hairy. Not quite "wearing a sweater" hair, but he's a wooly mammoth. And he gets bacne.
And I think he's absolutely gorgeous. He has amazing green eyes with long thick lashes. A fantastic smile. Great bone structure. Incredible, muscular legs. A wide, strong back. An adorable cleft in his chin, even though it's covered with a goatee at the moment. He's a beautiful person, and whether he's overweight or not, I don't care. I don't look at him and think, "Ew. Fat hairy guy with pimples on his back." I see... my honey.
If I'm biased, it's because he's an amazing man who holds my heart. I can't see that as a negative!
And I know he feels the same way about me. He adored me when I was skinny. He adored me when I was fat. He adores me now that I'm fit, and is proud as hell because he knows how hard I work to be this way.
LOVE this post..
That is the way it should be.
^ Agreed!0 -
My spouse any day. Why? Because he has seen me without makeup, cleaned up the puke when I was pregnant, held my hand while I was in the ER (more than once), massage my temples when I have a headache, held me when I cried, brought me breakfast in bed when I was feeling blue and the list goes on. When he gets that look it's coming from someone who has seen me at my worse and quite honestly, that look, happens even when I'm not looking my best. Some random person who only looks at me because I'm all fixed up for the day? Who cares.
To paraphrase Marilyn Monroe "If you don't desire me at my worst you don't get me at my best."0 -
Depends on the stranger....Clive Owen = Husband who? Fat guy at beach in speedo = vomit in mouth while running to husband for comfort.
That is funny!!0 -
But a stranger does cause a special, unique feeling... you are always sure your being told truth by an absolute stranger.
Not really. 99% of men who check out and/or whistle at random women are NOT thinking "She's beautiful." They're thinking "She's bangable." To me, that's gross. It doesn't make me feel attractive at all; it makes me feel cheap.
Hey! Hang on a moment. We don't all drag our knuckles in the dirt!0 -
I'm sorry, I still can't get over the number of people who openly admit that a stranger's opinion of them means more to them than that of their spouse.
"My husband tells me I'm beautiful all the time, and I don't believe it. If a stranger whistles at me, that means something." Excuse me, but WTF? A man who loves you and tells you you're beautiful every day deserves much better than that. Maybe he'll wise up and stop telling you how beautiful you are since it clearly doesn't matter to you at all what he thinks.0 -
But a stranger does cause a special, unique feeling... you are always sure your being told truth by an absolute stranger.
Not really. 99% of men who check out and/or whistle at random women are NOT thinking "She's beautiful." They're thinking "She's bangable." To me, that's gross. It doesn't make me feel attractive at all; it makes me feel cheap.
Hey! Hang on a moment. We don't all drag our knuckles in the dirt!
Well, I did leave room for 1%.0 -
Why do.you women always have a headache? When you're dating you give it up like nothing, then once you say "I do", it's all of a sudden some prize to be won...0
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I want some attention and get nothing from anyone besides my son telling me i have bid muscles here and small muscles there. So I guess, if I notice someone checking out the goods. it makes me feel motivated. that is what i use MFP for now. hah. kind of kidding. lol 0
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Why do.you women always have a headache? When you're dating you give it up like nothing, then once you say "I do", it's all of a sudden some prize to be won...
I can't speak for everyone, however...
Before I got married, I was taking care of 1 person... me.
After I got married, I was taking care of 2 on a regular basis and 4 on a semi-regular basis. I'm not complaining, but it does make me tired sometimes.
It's not a prize to be won, though, understanding needs to come from both sides.0
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