Stranger or Spouse?

Jennjenn1974

My BF. Don't get me wrong...some random guy hitting on me is flattering (not that it happens often LOL), but, it means so much more hearing it from my partner.

sdckc6528

I have a cute story that gave me both at the same time! So a couple weeks ago I had to run up to my husbands work to get something out of his vehicle. I pulled in grabbed what I needed and left thinking nobody saw me (he works with all men and they work outside) So my hubby came home for his dinner break and said so the guys at work think your hott! I was a little floored and of course asked the details! He said he walked into the breakroom and a bunch of the guys were talking and said "There he is, so Steve I am hearing your wife is HOTT!" so my hubby responded with "Yeah she is HOTT!" So I got a compliment from a stranger at the same time I received reassurance that my hubby still thinks I am hott and will admit it to other guys!

ganesha303

Definitely my wife. Being attractive to her is much more important than turning the eye of a stranger.

LorinaLynn

My husband.

I actually get a bit squicked out when someone who doesn't know me finds me sexually attractive. Before I became a boring old married person, I was always thin and confident in my sex appeal, and even then, guys who were only interested me in how I looked were a turn off. I was always more flattered when someone appreciated my personality, sense of humor, determination, creativity, etc.

AlwaysWanderer

Being totally honest... strangers. Your spouse kinda 'has' to find you attractive, don't they? When a stranger takes notice, it makes you feel good and lets you know you still got "it".

QFT

bunchesonothing

I'm kind of floored by the number of people who discount what their significant others say because "they have to" say nice things, or they're blinded. It's kind of like, calling them liars. IMO, not cool. My husband doesn't HAVE to say nice things to me because there are no repercussions for his honesty. Set up a situation where they feel like they have to, and you'll never be able to appreciate a genuine compliment you're given.

We have to be honest here, people also stop being attracted to their significant others all of the time. This is not something we can, or should take for granted. Loving someone is one thing. Inciting physical, visual arousal is another sometimes.

I also don't understand how so many people can simultaneously take their significant other's attentions for granted, and then, not feel appreciated enough, feel sexy enough or feel romanced enough. You won't ever be fulfilled by anyone but a stranger if you set up this situation. And that is just asking for a world of trouble.

I'm not saying anyone specific here is doing this. I just see it from people all of the time.

shelbyfrootcake

I'm kind of floored by the number of people who discount what their significant others say because "they have to" say nice things, or they're blinded. It's kind of like, calling them liars. IMO, not cool. My husband doesn't HAVE to say nice things to me because there are no repercussions for his honesty. Set up a situation where they feel like they have to, and you'll never be able to appreciate a genuine compliment you're given.

We have to be honest here, people also stop being attracted to their significant others all of the time. This is not something we can, or should take for granted. Loving someone is one thing. Inciting physical, visual arousal is another sometimes.

I also don't understand how so many people can simultaneously take their significant other's attentions for granted, and then, not feel appreciated enough, feel sexy enough or feel romanced enough. You won't ever be fulfilled by anyone but a stranger if you set up this situation. And that is just asking for a world of trouble.

I'm not saying anyone specific here is doing this. I just see it from people all of the time.

Love blinds people, which is why so many people get fat when they are in contented relationships. You're partner loves you and finds you attractive regardless. He/she has seen you sleeping, dog-rough in the morning, drunk, hungover, with your kid's snot/vomit/blood of you, they've seen you at your best and worst and love you all the same. They're opinion is valid and important but strangers give an unexpected ego boost buzz that partners don't really.

Maybe if my partner rarely complimented me it would be more of a big deal but I'm lucky enough to have my partner compliment me frequently enough that I know he thinks I'm beautiful even when I look like hell.

ItsCasey

What I don't understand, though, is how you can be more flattered by someone who only thinks you're attractive when you look your absolute best (i.e. a stranger) than by someone who thinks you're beautiful when you look your worst.

This is a big part of the reason so many marriages fail; people seek affirmation outside of their marriages from people who don't love, understand, or even know them. And I realize that not everyone on this thread falls into that category. I know that if your husband makes you feel sexy and beautiful, you carry yourself differently, other men notice, and that makes you feel even better.

But the comments like "Oh, my husband HAS to find me attractive ..." Um, no. He doesn't.

lilac01

Strangers.

LeeKetty1176

stranger...................

SunLovin1

Since I have no spouse anymore, I'd have to say stranger. There's just that little thrill of excitement when somebody new makes you feel attractive. You can carry that feeling back home to your S.O., imho...

tauny78

Stranger: like many others have said, your spouse sees you all the time, and loves you for who you are. I know when my husband actually gives me a compliment w/out me asking "how do I look?", it's because he wants something, lol. On the very few occasions I do get hit on, it just gives me a huge ego boost for a while, and a funny story to tell the hubby.

On the other hand, when he does pay attention to how I look, and he's truly into me, I melt. He doesn't realize how he can affect me, or he'd do it all the time! LOL

yummy♥

nothing would make my heartbeat flutter like a compliment from my husband. one day ....

Cherilea

stranger... and i think that's because a stranger has no obligation to be nice or to be careful to not hurt my feelings.
i have no expectations that a stranger might/should find me attractive.

This.

brattyworm

my husband. as you know he is the one who is way more important. its nice to be admired by others, but for me its been so long since he's found me truly attractive in the whistle at you kind a way it would mean much more from him then anyone else.

GrampsWooha

i just really want a compliment from you Nikki. Anything will do

brattyworm

stranger, if its the spouse i know why and i have a headache!

OMG!!! Thats so true!!! They are most affectionate/complimentary when they want something!!

Totally agree

um...... really? so strangers don't compliment people because they want something too? hmmm....... ever been to a bar?

Tiff_09

BOTH actually!!!

MinnieInMaine

I have to go with spouse. My hubby's another one who's not easy with the compliments, he's a smarta$$ and he's also very honest so if he thinks I'm wearing a weird shirt or something, he'll tell me. (I have to say though, even at my heaviest (260 lbs), he still would always say "you're not FAT, your just chubby".) So, when he gives me a compliment, I take it! Too much attention from strangers actually makes me a bit uncomfortable...

Hubby recently started calling me his trophy wife. At first, I though, yeah whatever, wisea$$ but he kept calling me that and has said other nice things about how small I'm getting. I think he's also noticing that I'm getting more attention from other guys so he knows he needs to step up his game a bit. LOL!