Stranger or Spouse?

135

Replies

  • sparrows7
    sparrows7 Posts: 59
    Either, I'll take it when I can get it. :D
  • peripah
    peripah Posts: 120 Member
    I live near a cfb so I get hit on by strangers all the time so it's nothing special to me. Sure, my husband tells me I look good if I ask, but I really relish the times when I come downstairs and his eyes get a little wide and he says "Wow. You look good". Then I know I really DO look good.
  • casirdms
    casirdms Posts: 145 Member
    Stranger. I like to feel hot/wanted by other people and flirted with.

    My husband really doesn't even look at me I feel like .. much less a compliment
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    Being totally honest... strangers. Your spouse kinda 'has' to find you attractive, don't they? When a stranger takes notice, it makes you feel good and lets you know you still got "it".

    This.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    I live near a cfb so I get hit on by strangers all the time so it's nothing special to me. Sure, my husband tells me I look good if I ask, but I really relish the times when I come downstairs and his eyes get a little wide and he says "Wow. You look good". Then I know I really DO look good.

    haha this too! :tongue:
  • Buddie616
    Buddie616 Posts: 167 Member
    i would rather be noticed by my husband! He is the one that has to look at me everyday!
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
    Definitely my mate. I get hit on all the time so it's not really a big deal to me. Don't get me wrong, I like when strangers flirt with me, but I don't care about it as much as I would someone I'm dating. I make an effort to look as attractive and feminine as possible so the guy I'm dating can be turned on by me aesthetically and stay turned on by me. If you get past the honeymoon stage of a new relationship and *still* have your guy talk about how hot and sexy you are, that's the best feeling in the world. I love knowing that he's still that passionate about me on a physical level.

    Now when I'm single, obviously strangers who notice me are a good ego boost, but not when I'm taken.
  • Tiff_09
    Tiff_09 Posts: 5,627 Member
    I live near a cfb so I get hit on by strangers all the time so it's nothing special to me. Sure, my husband tells me I look good if I ask, but I really relish the times when I come downstairs and his eyes get a little wide and he says "Wow. You look good". Then I know I really DO look good.

    haha this too! :tongue:

    I'll second that.
  • millermichellelea
    millermichellelea Posts: 226
    Always the one I am with because he sees me at my worst and can still find me so beautiful he stops and tells me I took his breath away. [Not that it happens a lot....lol]

    A stranger is a passing person and it makes you feel good, but they are only looking at the outside of you for a fleeting second :happy:
  • Tiff_09
    Tiff_09 Posts: 5,627 Member
    Always the one I am with because he sees me at my worst and can still find me so beautiful he stops and tells me I took his breath away. [Not that it happens a lot....lol]

    A stranger is a passing person and it makes you feel good, but they are only looking at the outside of you for a fleeting second :happy:

    Well said.. so true
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    my husband because really he can be quite fussy and brutally honest!
  • Foofyknickers
    Foofyknickers Posts: 37 Member
    I like a compliment, or to find a stranger checking me out (like that happens anymore!) but for me I prefer when my Mr gives me a compliment. Because he knows I'm a sure thing anyway, so he can't be after anything! :wink:
    Seriously though, he has seen me look like hell, first thing in the morning, hungover, just after having our babies, and at my fattest... and after nearly 15 years together he still looks at me like I'm a godess. Way better than some creepy lech at the pub on a night out. Shall I pass the sickbucket round now? :laugh:
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Maybe if my partner rarely complimented me it would be more of a big deal but I'm lucky enough to have my partner compliment me frequently enough that I know he thinks I'm beautiful even when I look like hell.

    Maybe you are beautiful when you look like hell. Maybe you looking like hell, is all in your head.

    I don't think love blinds anyone.

    *EDIT: I'm more likely to believe our self-perceptions are poop.*

    My husband is fully willing to acknowledge when I don't look my best. But me not looking my best doesn't mean I've suddenly become ugly or unattractive.

    And my husband compliments me all the time too... It doesn't mean I believe him any less.

    We discredit the opinions of the ones who are supposed to mean the most to us...
  • totustuusmaria
    totustuusmaria Posts: 182 Member
    For me it would be both, but in different ways and how its said. I would feel giddy and smiley if a stranger found me attractive. i would feel sexy and genuinely happy if my spouse let me know he thought i was looking really good. It also depends on how the spouse says it... if it just flippant or i have to prod it like, "look, i lost another lb." ... "yeah, you are looking really great baby *whistle*" uhhh... no. But if he initiated it and it wasn't just some little comment then it could probably make me feel things that a stranger couldn't.

    But a stranger does cause a special, unique feeling... you are always sure your being told truth by an absolute stranger.
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    And, I'm not trying to tell anyone to not like getting flirted with by a stranger. I'm just sayin' don't discredit what your husband says because he has to... because, really, he doesn't.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    But a stranger does cause a special, unique feeling... you are always sure your being told truth by an absolute stranger.

    Not really. 99% of men who check out and/or whistle at random women are NOT thinking "She's beautiful." They're thinking "She's bangable." To me, that's gross. It doesn't make me feel attractive at all; it makes me feel cheap.
  • KMcBandit
    KMcBandit Posts: 65
    Well since my husband loves me no matter what I would have to say spouse because if you get the eyeballs from a stranger you know mamma still got it :D
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    But a stranger does cause a special, unique feeling... you are always sure your being told truth by an absolute stranger.

    Not really. 99% of men who check out and/or whistle at random women are NOT thinking "She's beautiful." They're thinking "She's bangable." To me, that's gross. It doesn't make me feel attractive at all; it makes me feel cheap.

    Ya that's right. I used to get all giddy about random men whistling at me or whatever but then it dawned on me that they do that to EVERY OTHER woman they think they could get. So nothing special and now it iritates me.

    I for some reason do appreciate when female acquaintances/strangers compliment me because that like NEVER happens and its just based on how I look and not whether they are attracted to me or not. The oppisite sex though I could care less as I know its just something easy to say.

    So I really appreciate my spouse's compliments as he compliments me often and geniunely! He's the only person I care about impressing (save for family lol, they are fun to prove wrong about weight loss) as that's who I come home to every night and also love!
  • Tiff_09
    Tiff_09 Posts: 5,627 Member
    And, I'm not trying to tell anyone to not like getting flirted with by a stranger. I'm just sayin' don't discredit what your husband says because he has to... because, really, he doesn't.

    Indeed
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    Can I answer differently? I like it when my husband notices a stranger checking me out and gets jealous! :D
  • Tiff_09
    Tiff_09 Posts: 5,627 Member
    Can I answer differently? I like it when my husband notices a stranger checking me out and gets jealous! :D

    Yep!! haha Bonus :laugh:
  • jtsmou
    jtsmou Posts: 503 Member
    And, I'm not trying to tell anyone to not like getting flirted with by a stranger. I'm just sayin' don't discredit what your husband says because he has to... because, really, he doesn't.

    I would have to agree with you. How many of these same people who would say "stranger" come on the boards whining because their husband/wife (mostly husband though) is jealous? (note that I am not singling anyone out here, because honestly I don't care lol) They watch how you react to the flirting of others, and wonder why they never get that same kind of reaction when they say the same thing.

    Just being honest here, you can talk about all the shoulds, and supposed, and justifications and whatnot, but this is how those situations end up getting aggravated.
  • jtsmou
    jtsmou Posts: 503 Member
    Can I answer differently? I like it when my husband notices a stranger checking me out and gets jealous! :D

    Why?
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Women see "jealousy" as a sign that men care about us.

    For the record, though, I don't think that sort of thing qualifies as jealousy. I think it's turf protection, and I'm okay with that (to a certain degree). It's what men do.

    Jealousy, to me, is distrust (i.e. assuming that if he isn't watching me like a hawk, I'm going to end up in bed with someone else), and I do not want the man in my life to feel like he can't trust me. Thus, I would never do anything to make him feel that way, such as acting all giddy and excited because some random *kitten* was checking me out.
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    Women see "jealousy" as a sign that men care about us.

    For the record, though, I don't think that sort of thing qualifies as jealousy. I think it's turf protection, and I'm okay with that (to a certain degree). It's what men do.

    Jealousy, to me, is distrust (i.e. assuming that if he isn't watching me like a hawk, I'm going to end up in bed with someone else), and I do not want the man in my life to feel like he can't trust me. Thus, I would never do anything to make him feel that way, such as acting all giddy and excited because some random *kitten* was checking me out.

    I'd never act like that either and didn't want to argue semantics. I just like my husband and him acting territorial is adorable. I don't purposely try to make him feel like that. In fact, usually he's noticed it and I'm clueless. There have been instances where the situation is reversed and I've gotten all riled up over someone checking him out but he had no idea. We'll be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this year and have never been more in love with each other. But we are both rather "toddler" like: MINE! lol
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    And, I'm not trying to tell anyone to not like getting flirted with by a stranger. I'm just sayin' don't discredit what your husband says because he has to... because, really, he doesn't.

    Its hard to understand how they can say the same thing to you that they did 100 lbs heavier and have it truly mean something.

    edited to add
    Its difficult mentally and emotionally to accept both of them. do you understand?
  • kristarablue
    kristarablue Posts: 702 Member
    Well it has been a while, but nothing is better than having the person you married find you so frikkin hot after years together. I mean really, nothing like it. They know you inside and out, they have seen all of your flaws and yet still think you are hot and desirable..NOTHING BETTER!!!! I pray if I am blessed enough to be married again it will be with someone that finds me hot on my worst days as well as my best even after years of looking. I was married to someone that never told me I was hot, beautiful or looked good (not even on our wedding day), it would have been wonderful if he had expressed if he had felt that……but to answer again…spouse totally!!!
  • bunchesonothing
    bunchesonothing Posts: 1,015 Member
    Its hard to understand how they can say the same thing to you that they did 100 lbs heavier and have it truly mean something.

    edited to add
    Its difficult mentally and emotionally to accept both of them. do you understand?

    Then perhaps their definition of beauty is different than yours. Maybe yours is based on weight and maybe his/hers, is not.

    EDIT: And, IMO, there are some drop dead gorgeous plus sized people out there.

    Still, that is no reason to deny that HE/SHE FINDS YOU BEAUTIFUL.

    I get it, but sometimes, people are so stuck in their own perceptions of themselves, they choose not to believe others.

    Whatever reasoning the person chooses to not believe their spouse over, the answer is just the same. And it stands to be a detriment to the relationship.

    My husband tells me I'm beautiful. I often tell him, "I don't feel beautiful right now." He says, "Let me do the feeling."

    Sometimes, we just gotta trust them and be damned with our own negative perceptions of ourselves.
  • peripah
    peripah Posts: 120 Member
    Edited because: I kind of suck at posting.
  • peripah
    peripah Posts: 120 Member
    Well it has been a while, but nothing is better than having the person you married find you so frikkin hot after years together. I mean really, nothing like it. They know you inside and out, they have seen all of your flaws and yet still think you are hot and desirable..NOTHING BETTER!!!! I pray if I am blessed enough to be married again it will be with someone that finds me hot on my worst days as well as my best even after years of looking. I was married to someone that never told me I was hot, beautiful or looked good (not even on our wedding day), it would have been wonderful if he had expressed if he had felt that……but to answer again…spouse totally!!!

    I totally agree with you. The idea that my husband finds me as sexy at 30 as he did when we were 17 makes me happy.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories