Stressed and Getting Healthy! new group

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  • fiercekindness
    fiercekindness Posts: 31 Member
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    My stress today was that I was off from work. Which shouldn't be a stressor, but it is for me since I don't have much of social life. Being alone, lonely, and intensely sad, makes me want to eat. So I did my usual breakfast, as I would do if I was working. But then I started getting restless and uncomfortable and text a friend to go out to breakfast. When I already had eaten to begin with. I really just wanted her company but I knew that she wouldn't probably just want to be with me. So I threw in the idea of breakfast. So you know what ends up happening, I end up ordering food...that I really don't need. Really high in calorie, wasteful calories at that. I didn't really enjoy it but yet I ate it in anyway. I really am mad at myself for doing that. I should of just invited her over to watch a movie or tea, and if that wasn't good enough, then so be it. But I ate really terribly and then add 3 chocolate chip cookies to the deal. Then I went an appointment, which after it was over it left me restless and anxious. I walked home from te appointment so that was a plus. But I am someone who needs the push of a treadmill, so I don't walk really fast without the extra structure of a machine. But anyway, that took sometime. And then soon as I get home, I have a lunch date and guess what, I eat something again. Nothing big, it was much healthier than my previous wasteful choice. I was fighting with myself to just say no. But then I thought, its a lunch date, it would be rude to just let the other person eat and not join them. I feel so pathetic. And after being with that person, I felt even more anxious and restless so I came home and had a bowl of cereal. I just felt completely out of control and defeated. I watched a movie to try to distract myself. Then I did some dishes. And then I said that's it! I need to get out of the house. So I grabbed my ipod and went on a very brisk walk that lasted about an hour. But even with that said, I still feel horrible. I need to learn skills to keep myself from mindless/emotionally eating. I need to structure out my days out, so that eliminates the need or desire to over eat. I also need to learn how to just be alone with myself, and just relax. Instead, I find myself always trying to get away from myself because, I just can't stand me. And that's pretty sad. Longing for the day, when I am comfortable and satisified with just being me! Because I am enough. But I am not there yet, and I feel pretty darn crappy!!!
  • catherine4211
    catherine4211 Posts: 944 Member
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    Thank you! She came through the surgery just fine. They plan on getting her up tomorrow. It's a little scary because she's 94, almost 95. She's been living alone up til now......the doctor said that will most likely have to change. She's NOT going to like that one bit!

    So sorry! :(
    My stress for today - I got a call last night that my Grandma fell and broke her hip. I was with her til 2 a.m. and am headed back now. It's only me and her and this is scary as hell. Please send me well wishes!!! Her surgery will be later this afternoon.
  • januadiaboli
    januadiaboli Posts: 117 Member
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    Glad to hear she's come through okay. Sending positive thoughts your direction!

    Thank you! She came through the surgery just fine. They plan on getting her up tomorrow. It's a little scary because she's 94, almost 95. She's been living alone up til now......the doctor said that will most likely have to change. She's NOT going to like that one bit!

    So sorry! :(
    My stress for today - I got a call last night that my Grandma fell and broke her hip. I was with her til 2 a.m. and am headed back now. It's only me and her and this is scary as hell. Please send me well wishes!!! Her surgery will be later this afternoon.
  • januadiaboli
    januadiaboli Posts: 117 Member
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    Ugh ... it's been one of *those* weeks, but at least I'm seeing some progress. I managed to gain 5 pounds last week (travel for cousin's wedding, stress, work-related problems, etc. all led to little exercise and too much eating). On the plus side, I've lost all but 0.6 pounds of that, which is a good thing.

    I've completely re-jigged my family's schedule this week and am planning on trying this new version for a few weeks to see if it works any better. I don't think I'm going to get as much freelance work done as I'd hoped, but being home at noon, rather than 5:30 has meant I've definitely got time to get my workouts in!
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    nice job clearing most of those 5 lbs, januadiaboli :)
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Great job!
  • saeverman
    saeverman Posts: 88
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    Where is everyone?

    Stephanie E
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    Thanks for bumping this back up, it had disappeared from my topics (wish I could track what I wanted instead of just what I comment on)

    I have started meditation in hopes to calm some stress. Bills are starting to get to me again, it's the last quarter of the year and this always happens. I tried to plan for it, and I did, but we moved and the expenses there (plus my car had some unexpected stuff) has really dipped into my funds. I still have a very good baseline going, but instead of buying gifts, I'd rather build back up my savings. This is a horrible thought circle and I am trying to figure out how to solve it.

    In the meantime, getting very VERY excited for my new gym to open. It is an Anytime Fitness about 3 miles from me. It is open 24/7 and will offer classes as well as cardio equipment and WEIGHTS. I am so thrilled. They are not finished building it yet, so I have to wait until "sometime in October" which isn't too far off I hope!
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Sorry I haven't been around in the past few days really. I have been logging on my cell but haven't been on the boards. I had to go to the doctors for a checkup and this morning had to get a ct scan on my head because of the anxiety and anxiety attacks. I am guessing no news is good news since I haven't heard anything yet. I was so anxious and scared to get the actual ct scan. I ate too much fat today which upsets me also ugh, but I did lose 2 more lbs and now a total of 20lbs.
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Bills are starting to get to me again, it's the last quarter of the year and this always happens.
    Sorry to hear that, I know how you feel. I hope the situation gets better for you.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    20 lbs, yay!! :)

    here's hoping they find a direct cause of your anxiety and have a simple solution for you :bigsmile:
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Thanks : )
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Hey everyone, I hope everyone is having a great week. I weighed in today and lost 1.5 more pounds, making a total of 21.5. Today is my 100th day logging on MFP which I can't believe it has already been that long.
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    100 days is awesome :D i've been here about 10 months. feels like longer than that :)

    this past week has been so strange for me. I am glad to say that my guy is no longer ill with the flu so we are both much more cheerful at home (we get kinda grumpy when sick): but work sucks butt. and the anxiety of working in a sh!tty environment as well as trying to apply for new jobs is just so close to overwhelming. I am trying very hard to keep my cool and just go with the flow.
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Sorry to hear about your work, hopefully it'll get better. 10 months is such a long time! Congrats to you on that
  • cmconniew
    cmconniew Posts: 16 Member
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    Hello. I know you all have been at this for a few months but I was hoping I could join in. STRESS is my middle name! Most days I feel like I am drowning! So support would be awesome!
    Please feel free to friend me and I hope I can join in! Thanks so much!

    Oh my name is Connie!! :)
  • Zombella
    Zombella Posts: 490 Member
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    Welcome Connie!
  • Butterfly3081
    Butterfly3081 Posts: 67 Member
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    Today I just want to crawl in a hole. My boyfriend of 1 year and I are just not doing well at all lately. Talk about stress. I just want him to pay attention to me..like the same amount of attention he would give his family..seeing as how he wants me to be a part of his family you'd think he'd want to show me this attention. I hate it when he gets upset with me and breaks up with me just to turn around and say he didn't mean it. It makes me feel so anxious and mixed up inside. We hardly ever get to see eachother which sucks and it's really taking its toll on our relationship. I wish things were easier. To make things worse all this stress from him and me is making me eat really bad and I'm starting to gain weight again and that's got me anxious too. I hate gaining weight..ugh..just don't know what to to!
  • sarah44254
    sarah44254 Posts: 3,078 Member
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    Wow butterfly, that sounds very stressful indeed. I have had quite a few 'rather bad' boyfriends but never, not once, did they break up and not mean it. That must hurt so much, I cannot imagine trying to patch up after hearing that more than once.

    It is always possible that he is not the right guy for you. Take some time alone in a nice, quiet, warm place and think about it. Maybe even list pros and cons of the relationship. Really try to talk to him and ask him what he wants for you two in the future. It might be time to detach from him and spend some time with yourself.
  • Becky1971
    Becky1971 Posts: 979 Member
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    Sarah is right, you should really think about if he is the right guy for you. Whether he is just playing with your feelings, or the kind of guy to break up, do what he wants with another then come back. Or if he's just mad, you don't deserve that, and don't have to have it in your life.

    I had a boyfriend, and it was such a roller coaster, he always broke up and came back. (We have a daughter together too, now she's 16 he does the same thing with her) I finally took myself out to the wildnerness, stayed at a retreat center, and just spent some time thinking (and praying) and realized that it just wasn't okay, and I needed to put a stop to it. I needed to stop allowing him to "play" with my heart and head like that. And that was the end, I dumped him and never got back with him.

    Sometimes it's not easy to do what we need to do for ourselves, but in the long run, we will be okay, and we will be better for it.
    Wow butterfly, that sounds very stressful indeed. I have had quite a few 'rather bad' boyfriends but never, not once, did they break up and not mean it. That must hurt so much, I cannot imagine trying to patch up after hearing that more than once.

    It is always possible that he is not the right guy for you. Take some time alone in a nice, quiet, warm place and think about it. Maybe even list pros and cons of the relationship. Really try to talk to him and ask him what he wants for you two in the future. It might be time to detach from him and spend some time with yourself.

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