What Kinda Guys do you Like?
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I should add that my opinions on this have changed as I've grown up. When I was a teenager, I was all about how smart and capable and awesome I was, and I couldn't fathom the idea of being with a man who wanted (even NEEDED) to make decisions that would affect me. I couldn't imagine allowing a man to "provide" for me. That was always something I wanted to do for myself (and I have done it and still do it for myself). I thought the whole idea was pretty chauvinistic and that it was all about men wanting to be in control.
But as I came to understand more about men and relationships in general, I get that it's not a selfish desire at all. In fact, it's the opposite. True alpha males put their families first. They make a lot of sacrifices for the good of the people they care about. If they don't have the freedom to do that, it's like an open insinuation that they aren't capable of it or trustworthy. So they don't really feel like men. I understand that now, and even as a well-educated, successful woman, I am not at all threatened by it. It's actually a pretty liberating feeling for me to know that my future husband is not a man I will have to second-guess, nor will I ever have to question his judgment or his motivation. As long as I know I can trust him to give full resepct and consideration to my opinions, then I can let go and let him take on that responsibility.0 -
In my experience, and feel free to ridicule me, but I've tended to date frat boys. Cocky, athletic, dresses well, drinks way more than his liver should handle, kind of a tool 87% of the time but still willing to walk you home safely at 3 o'clock in the morning despite having to work at 8. I like boys who work hard and play harder.
On another note, it's always fascinating how popular these threads are.0 -
Ok...I've got to say something.
All of you girls...that say you want 'a man's man'...or 'alpha male'...or 'a natural leader'....are you really, truly serious? Because in my past experience...lots of women say they want this...but when they get it, it's apparently never quite what they expected it to be. And I'm not saying the guy is an *kitten*, that negates the 'man' thing. Assume he's sensitive, compassionate, generous, smiles (mostly that's reserved for you though...), protects his family, opens doors, is possessive...but not jealous, takes care of things around the house...including some of the housework if you work as well and it needs maintained...etc.
But he's...a...MAN.
Anyway...I really am curious how many of you really meant it. I mean, I know you've said it...and it's not that you weren't being honest...but how many of you have really thought of all that entails? The pro's and the cons as well?
I've met one woman that truly feels this way, in my entire 36 years lol.
So what do you consider the pros and cons?
Well...that would be for you to decide. Jq really covered my point though. Women consider this type of man 'controlling' in the end...because his limits are his limits. What he will not allow, he will not allow. He will give you the world...but he expects your world in return.
The funny thing is...women do the same thing constantly, and that's ok...because they're the women. It's s catch 22, and they rarely like that shoe being on the other foot.
My girlfriend has so much control over so many aspects of my life its not funny. But guess what?...I'm ok with that. I gave her the control, can take it away if I choose, and at no point does it make me any less a man to give that up. I trust HER to not put me in a position with that control, that would compromise my morals, integrity, or, manliness. Her appreciation for that gift is the sole reason for giving it.
I fully expect the same in return...and get it...too.
Like I said, one woman...in 36yrs.0 -
A guy that
-doesnt mind looking like a complete idiot in public with me
-Is laid back, and doesnt stress over little things
-Can hold a conversation
-Is sweet and respectful
-Smart, and funny
-Isn't an *kitten*
-Who i love, and he loves me0 -
I should add that my opinions on this have changed as I've grown up. When I was a teenager, I was all about how smart and capable and awesome I was, and I couldn't fathom the idea of being with a man who wanted (even NEEDED) to make decisions that would affect me. I couldn't imagine allowing a man to "provide" for me. That was always something I wanted to do for myself (and I have done it and still do it for myself). I thought the whole idea was pretty chauvinistic and that it was all about men wanting to be in control.
But as I came to understand more about men and relationships in general, I get that it's not a selfish desire at all. In fact, it's the opposite. True alpha males put their families first. They make a lot of sacrifices for the good of the people they care about. If they don't have the freedom to do that, it's like an open insinuation that they aren't capable of it or trustworthy. So they don't really feel like men. I understand that now, and even as a well-educated, successful woman, I am not at all threatened by it. It's actually a pretty liberating feeling for me to know that my future husband is not a man I will have to second-guess, nor will I ever have to question his judgment or his motivation. As long as I know I can trust him to give full resepct and consideration to my opinions, then I can let go and let him take on that responsibility.
Amen
. 0 -
In my experience, and feel free to ridicule me, but I've tended to date frat boys. Cocky, athletic, dresses well, drinks way more than his liver should handle, kind of a tool 87% of the time but still willing to walk you home safely at 3 o'clock in the morning despite having to work at 8. I like boys who work hard and play harder.
On another note, it's always fascinating how popular these threads are.
That's not ridcule. I once was seeing a guy who was kinda cocky, but he always had my back in some way. One time we were hanging out and I got mad at him and left without saying anything. I walked home and 5 minutes later he called asking where i was and i said almost home. He then told me to not do that again and i asked why. He said because from the moment I pick you up to the moment i get you home you're my responsiblity. Then he goes on to say could you imagine how I would feel if I got a call from your family and friends asking where you were, being that I was the last one to see you and I couldn't give them an answer. Never really understood that nor do I. But it just shows that even cocky guys can care.0 -
I like guys who are funny, a bit geeky, approachable hot (as in he's smoking but doesn't know it), has a personality, taller than me, has a backbone (as I can be a bit feisty sometimes) and is not too skinny.0
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I may come across as a little hypocritical, jq, but I do agree with what you say...
A lot my recent problems with my partner were because he works long hours and wants the best for a family unit, that in the process of that he can be a little demanding or want something done within a second of asking.... This has caused problems...he gets so dreaded that if something didn't go the way he would have liked, he would regard it a failure ( even me) for not having something done or on time such as phonecall or letting the house get messy during busy times at work.
We are dealing with these issues and he's a lot better... Problem was partly me but only as a result of his behaviour...
I like a guy to respect me and love me for who I am, no matter if I have flaws - we all do, it's just how you deal with them together.
I still love my partner even through the horrid times but our issues are being worked on now together in a much calmer, healthier way....love and mutual respect have to be the main basis for a relationship.
My partner will always come first, he puts our family first....he just needs to learn to loosen up and tell me how he's feeling etc as well as listen to me and not shoot me down before I even open my mouth....so far do good the last fortnight...time will tell tho if we can get through this...
Jq - btw, I admire a lot of your comments / advice throughout numerous threads. You have your head screwed on and were brought up well, I'm 35 and could do with taking a leaf out of your book occasionally. I generally have the same views as yourself over different subjects - just sometimes find it hard to admit I'm wrong about something's or don't listen to advice when it's most needed.... I'm still learning...:-) I admire the way you see some things in life.0 -
i like guys who are a man's man.
very rugged and strong.. know how to fix a tire, grill, etc.
something about being a man's man is sexy!0 -
Ones that know how to clean up after himself. Knows how to put the toilet seat down and one that doesn't eat pizza and drink beer and lets one rip that could peel paint off the wall!
I'll put the seat down...if you put it up.
More seriously...I just close the damn thing...because if I don't...the dog drinks out of it...which is no fun for anyone lol.
I'm also a sucker for guys who have nice eyes, nice smile, wears baseball hats and good smelling cologne. Always have been a sucker for those and always will be.0 -
Ok...I've got to say something.
All of you girls...that say you want 'a man's man'...or 'alpha male'...or 'a natural leader'....are you really, truly serious? Because in my past experience...lots of women say they want this...but when they get it, it's apparently never quite what they expected it to be. And I'm not saying the guy is an *kitten*, that negates the 'man' thing. Assume he's sensitive, compassionate, generous, smiles (mostly that's reserved for you though...), protects his family, opens doors, is possessive...but not jealous, takes care of things around the house...including some of the housework if you work as well and it needs maintained...etc.
But he's...a...MAN.
Anyway...I really am curious how many of you really meant it. I mean, I know you've said it...and it's not that you weren't being honest...but how many of you have really thought of all that entails? The pro's and the cons as well?
I've met one woman that truly feels this way, in my entire 36 years lol.
I wondered if a lot of those responses were kind of trying to put the best face on that "bad boy" thing that so many ladies go for.
Fast and exciting so lots of fun to hang with but in the end a complete a**hole that will treat them like crap.0 -
Ok...I've got to say something.
All of you girls...that say you want 'a man's man'...or 'alpha male'...or 'a natural leader'....are you really, truly serious? Because in my past experience...lots of women say they want this...but when they get it, it's apparently never quite what they expected it to be. And I'm not saying the guy is an *kitten*, that negates the 'man' thing. Assume he's sensitive, compassionate, generous, smiles (mostly that's reserved for you though...), protects his family, opens doors, is possessive...but not jealous, takes care of things around the house...including some of the housework if you work as well and it needs maintained...etc.
But he's...a...MAN.
Anyway...I really am curious how many of you really meant it. I mean, I know you've said it...and it's not that you weren't being honest...but how many of you have really thought of all that entails? The pro's and the cons as well?
I've met one woman that truly feels this way, in my entire 36 years lol.
Being the first on this thread to give the "Man's man" description; I'm pretty sure you know enough about my personality to know that it is EXACTLY what I want/need/& am fortunate enough to have had in my life for going on 9 years now. It takes A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT OF TESTOSTERONE to qualify a man as "masculine" enough that he is not intimidated by me and despite my strong personality and interesting background that it makes me still feel feminine in comparison. My exes & current social circle consist of all types I listed. The few females I get along well with IRL also are/were military, work in male-dominated professions, or are lesbians of the far less delicate variety (though we think very similar, they love women while most women in general annoy the crap out of me to the point of violence).
There's a world of difference between a true "Alpha-male" and a Napoleon-complex; it is vital to be able to recognize the difference. The pitfalls you imagine would be more associated with the latter... I am fully treated as an equal in my relationship, though it did take awhile for my husband to not see me as a Michelle Trachtenberg's Eurotrip character "with benefits"
I get flowers for holidays, whenever his unit sends him away, just because & after misunderstandings. He shells out for jewelry & plastic surgery. He can clean the house like nobody's business (8 years of barracks living & inspections can make one very anal-retentive with cleanliness) and I've watched him develop into a wonderful father.
Natural leaders >in general< both imply charisma and intelligence. My husband can walk through a total sh!+storm clusterf#ck smelling like roses every time due to his personality and ability to network like no other. He has the quick-wit and timing of a professional stand-up comic. I laugh til my sides ache and my face hurts from smiling so much at least once a day. When we were dating, I told him I expected him to teach me something new every day or I'd "fire" him. He still teaches me new things all the time, though on paper, I'm a bit more educated. He owns up to his mistakes and I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him cry. He is confident without being cocky. As for "possessiveness", this may sound silly at first but will soon make sense: he treats me like a fistful of sand, if he grips too tight he'll force me out of his grasp, if he grips too loose I'll slip right through his fingers.
We compliment each other well, but we're far from opposites attract. It's more in the little things that balance out.0 -
Ok...I've got to say something.
All of you girls...that say you want 'a man's man'...or 'alpha male'...or 'a natural leader'....are you really, truly serious? Because in my past experience...lots of women say they want this...but when they get it, it's apparently never quite what they expected it to be. And I'm not saying the guy is an *kitten*, that negates the 'man' thing. Assume he's sensitive, compassionate, generous, smiles (mostly that's reserved for you though...), protects his family, opens doors, is possessive...but not jealous, takes care of things around the house...including some of the housework if you work as well and it needs maintained...etc.
But he's...a...MAN.
Anyway...I really am curious how many of you really meant it. I mean, I know you've said it...and it's not that you weren't being honest...but how many of you have really thought of all that entails? The pro's and the cons as well?
I've met one woman that truly feels this way, in my entire 36 years lol.
Being the first on this thread to give the "Man's man" description; I'm pretty sure you know enough about my personality to know that it is EXACTLY what I want/need/& am fortunate enough to have had in my life for going on 9 years now. It takes A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT OF TESTOSTERONE to qualify a man as "masculine" enough that he is not intimidated by me and despite my strong personality and interesting background that it makes me still feel feminine in comparison. My exes & current social circle consist of all types I listed. The few females I get along well with IRL also are/were military, work in male-dominated professions, or are lesbians of the far less delicate variety (though we think very similar, they love women while most women in general annoy the crap out of me to the point of violence).
There's a world of difference between a true "Alpha-male" and a Napoleon-complex; it is vital to be able to recognize the difference. The pitfalls you imagine would be more associated with the latter... I am fully treated as an equal in my relationship, though it did take awhile for my husband to not see me as a Michelle Trachtenberg's Eurotrip character "with benefits" I get flowers for holidays, whenever his unit sends him away, just because & after misunderstandings. He shells out for jewelry & plastic surgery. He can clean the house like nobody's business (8 years of barracks living & inspections can make one very anal-retentive with cleanliness) and I've watched him develop into a wonderful father.
Natural leaders >in general< both imply charisma and intelligence. My husband can walk through a total sh!+storm clusterf#ck smelling like roses every time due to his personality and ability to network like no other. He has the quick-wit and timing of a professional stand-up comic. I laugh til my sides ache and my face hurts from smiling so much at least once a day. When we were dating, I told him I expected him to teach me something new every day or I'd "fire" him. He still teaches me new things all the time, though on paper, I'm a bit more educated. He owns up to his mistakes and I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen him cry. He is confident without being cocky. As for "possessiveness", this may sound silly at first but will soon make sense: he treats me like a fistful of sand, if he grips too tight he'll force me out of his grasp, if he grips too loose I'll slip right through his fingers.
We compliment each other well, but we're far from opposites attract. It's more in the little things that balance out.
You know...I think your husband and I would get along wonderfully.
There's not many men I can honestly say that about.
There's a player type on this forum that has the profile title 'Go hard or go home, son!'. I try to live that every day, and your description captures it perfectly...with the unspoken understanding that 'hard'...doesn't mean be an *kitten*. It means do everything you do to the best of your ability, whether it be working, playing, living, or loving.
That...is being an alpha-male...a natural leader...a man's man.0 -
Rugged and strong, like someone else said. And sexy. Definitely sexy...0
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lmao!*thinks to self... so far a few mentions of having a penis, but NO mention about size of said penis. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!!!*0 -
Ok...I've got to say something.
All of you girls...that say you want 'a man's man'...or 'alpha male'...or 'a natural leader'....are you really, truly serious? Because in my past experience...lots of women say they want this...but when they get it, it's apparently never quite what they expected it to be. And I'm not saying the guy is an *kitten*, that negates the 'man' thing. Assume he's sensitive, compassionate, generous, smiles (mostly that's reserved for you though...), protects his family, opens doors, is possessive...but not jealous, takes care of things around the house...including some of the housework if you work as well and it needs maintained...etc.
But he's...a...MAN.
Anyway...I really am curious how many of you really meant it. I mean, I know you've said it...and it's not that you weren't being honest...but how many of you have really thought of all that entails? The pro's and the cons as well?
I've met one woman that truly feels this way, in my entire 36 years lol.
I think it depends totally on why a woman believes she wants this kind of man.
If it's because she likes the idea of being treated like a princess (i.e. having every door opened and every chair pulled out) and having a knight in shining armor to take care of all her problems, I think she will eventually get sick of it. If it's only about the way she THINKS it will make her feel, then she will likely find that the feeling fades and it becomes a bit of a nuisance. This is where the whole idea of a man smothering a woman comes in.
If she has the stereotypical submissive streak, then there are times she'll love feeling like her man is "the boss," but the rest of the time, she'll hate it, and she'll eventually come to resent him for it.
But if she's embracing the gender role aspect of it, then I think there's more potential that it will be something she wants permanently because she has accepted the biological truth that men and women are meant to complement each other, not to serve exactly the same roles in relationships. Thus, she is not threatened by his role as the provider and protector because she knows he values her role as nurturer, supporter, advice-giver, etc. The biological understanding is key ... that's something that is never going to change, regardless of how society changes, and if she believes that's how it should be, then she's not going to wake up one day, wanting something different.
Another key aspect is how the MAN goes about serving this role. If he's over-bearing and domineering, everything is a competition, it's all about his need and his wants, of course the woman is going to say "This is not what I had in mind." But if he makes decisions knowing that her needs are every bit as important as his, if he seeks her advice, if gives her the same level of trust she gives him, etc., then I can't imagine any woman in her right mind suddenly deciding she doesn't want that.
That's exactly it. I enjoy and embrace traditional gender roles, especially in my relationships so when I say I prefer an alpha male, I 100 percent mean it. I'm aware of the "cons" and those are things I can deal with.0 -
That...is being an alpha-male...a natural leader...a man's man.
(Oh, yeah... it's kinda hot that when my man speaks, everyone around him shuts-up & listens... including those who are in higher standing.)
as for you, you're definitely in a male-dominated profession, HUGE plus 0 -
The married kind. They're less needy and clingy, ya know? So much easier. They whine less, they don't just "hang around", and they're not looking for something long term. All of the fun and none of the pain.
True, that! .... It's the perfect relationship, just like when you finally have grandchildren.... You enjoy them a little and take them out for icecream... then when they get cranky, you hand them back to their parents .... or in this case, his wife.
Serious bonus
Exactly!
(LMAO) Bides her time patiently for the following crowd to show:
congrats you two on probably killing the thread, quite ballsy... props.
I don't think people believed me, which is kind of sad...0 -
Hoping a few like the plain,responsible,work through life during the day type who will rock your world at night while loving you every waking moment.
Add on similar values, I'm taken. Where can I get one of those? They seem in short supply.0 -
This is such interesting reading...lol.
Carry on!
Wherehave you been? I hardly see you on. :frown:0
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