It's amazing how many of you that don't pay attention.

RachelSRoach1

This is part of a rant... so if you're thin skinned then stop reading.

But seriously? If the point of this website were to just give mindless praise without really paying attention... then most of you are doing great. When I complete my food diary at only about 850 calories.. don't say "great job" or "Way to go" to that.. if you had actually looked I'm sure most of you would say "That's dangerous" because it is. I have another friend who is trying to gain weight and having a VERY hard time. She lost more weight last week and a whole group of people congratulated her.. which is just further incidence of not paying attention.

I'm not saying that as a friend you need to read into every situation and know what every diary says or whatever.. but I am saying that sometimes it would be beneficial to actually know what you are saying. There are only like 10 of my friends who will put a detailed comment or actually have something to say.

Praise is a terrific confidence booster.. but when you realize how empty it is then suddenly it means nothing.

Think about it.

Also.. if you're the kind of person into a "snappy" comeback or whatever, the person inclined to defend themselves to me.. don't waste your time. You don't have to read this.. and it doesn't matter what I say if you don't consider what you're doing in the end.

ingeh

I sometimes think its silly to say well done when someone ahs netted like 700cals in a day. Its not good for you, you should have at least 1200 a day so any less isnt healthy so not good job really is it?

coatsie79

If you don't want empty praise then you may want to think about not completing your entry. Or is it a slapped wrist you are looking for?

RachelSRoach1

I sometimes think its silly to say well done when someone ahs netted like 700cals in a day. Its not good for you, you should have at least 1200 a day so any less isnt healthy so not good job really is it?

You're absolutely right. The only reason my diet is so weak at 850 is because I make sure I get that done in the morning and add snacks later.

JeSuisPrest

We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

brittanyjeanxo

Totally agree. I keep my friends list limited to 100, and even that is starting to seem a little high, because I like to know what every person's goals are. I never give empty praise, and I also never praise someone for being under their goal. Not to say that sometimes it isn't a good thing, but for all I know they could be over 1000 under it, which is dangerous. All the friends on here that praise me for doing a good job are ones I talk to often and know my goals, so I don't tend to worry about it being empty. All you can really do is just give honest praise or criticism and hope people would do the same for you, ya know?

smbakke77

I actually look at people's diaries before I make comments like that typically. Most of my friends I know their situation so I feel comfortable commenting the way I do. But you do bring up a valid point.

PhilipByrne

Ahhh Rachel, that comment is so right that I could have written it myself.

I have posted on this before and have said as much to my on-line friend. If all you get every day is a 'well done' it is a bit pointless.

brittanyjeanxo

We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.

MHackrott

I agree with you completely! It irks me to death to read about someone whinning and complaining about not being able to loose you start following their diary and well duh you eat crap and or not enough then you tell them and they take offense...

ItsTerriC

I stopped commenting on diary completion because I don't have the time to look at everyone's diary before commenting. If I look, I give positive feedback for the positives that I see. I always try to be specific, so my friends know I actually do pay attention. I take my MFP friendships seriously and won't give idle praise. It is also why I never finish logging my food until the next day. The diary completion doesn't show up, so I don't feel like I'm "forcing" anyone to blindly give out atta-boys when I may not have done so great.

courtneylwatson

I do not leave comments on a "under his/her calorie goal" if the diary is closed but see others that do and I wonder, How do they even know that it was a "good job." They could have logged 1 slice of chocolate cake and nothing else and would never even know it.

bry_all01

I've said the same thing before. I will not put something if A) I cannot view the diary if I don't have time to look it over, C) if it looks bad, unless I was asked to kick some behind. I try to get to know my mfp friends names and their individual situation, so I am not congratulating someone for losing when they are trying to gain and vice versa or encouraging someone with an ED, etc. I want to be helpful and supportive per friend, not a just overall.

Great read - thanks for posting!

Asil76

This is part of a rant... so if you're thin skinned then stop reading.

But seriously? If the point of this website were to just give mindless praise without really paying attention... then most of you are doing great. When I complete my food diary at only about 850 calories.. don't say "great job" or "Way to go" to that.. if you had actually looked I'm sure most of you would say "That's dangerous" because it is. I have another friend who is trying to gain weight and having a VERY hard time. She lost more weight last week and a whole group of people congratulated her.. which is just further incidence of not paying attention.

I'm not saying that as a friend you need to read into every situation and know what every diary says or whatever.. but I am saying that sometimes it would be beneficial to actually know what you are saying. There are only like 10 of my friends who will put a detailed comment or actually have something to say.

Praise is a terrific confidence booster.. but when you realize how empty it is then suddenly it means nothing.

Think about it.

'
Very well said! I haven't experienced that this time around on MFP but I did last time. I recall being very ill and was consuming about 300 calories a day for 2 or 3 days and I was amazed to see how many positive comments I received for being under my calorie goal. As far as I am concerned if you are going to comment on a completed diary just take a little time to look at it...I could have a total crap day food wise and be under my goal but I don't want someome praising me for it.:laugh:

sophjakesmom

Maybe I need to be more specific in my praise, but when I say good job for an end of day post, it is really to say, "way to keep track of what you eat," because for me, the mindless eating and not paying attention is how I got to be 80 lbs too heavy. There are some days I net 1000 and some days I net 2000, but I focus on keeping my weekly average at 1400. So I am not going to pass judgement on whether someone has eaten too much or too little. but I will congratulate them for being AWARE. That is truly half the battle.

But I do understand your point.

satterlm

Sometimes people are only suppose to get 800 cals per day. My diet from doctor recommends that i get 800-1000 cals per day. So you never know what someones specific situation is. There are many different reasons why and individual may need less. While it is not recommended, i think its different if you are under a doctors supervision.

hroush

I'm with you on that. That is a good portion of why I removed my ticker from my signature as i am now attempting to gain muscle and have been gaining weight. I quickly got tired of people writing me saying that's it's great that I'm so close to my goal. I possibly lost a friend or two because they thought I was failing at losing weight, but that's their loss.

JulieBoBoo

Every time I write a good blog I get 10-15 friend requests. It clearly states in my profile that I have neither the time nor the inclination to read other people's diary on a daily basis and yet I still get flooded with requests. If you want personalized attention, focus your requests on people who have less than 30-50 friends. If you're friending people with 200+ friends you're just not going to get the attention you want. Sorry.

ETA: And I don't feel I'm here to babysit anyone. Unless you specifically ask for advice on your food diary, I will not try not to offer it. You're a big boy/girl and I'm not your Mommy.

Kelly_Wilson1990

Well, I praise people for the act of logging. If you want my opinion on your diary, then ask me. I am not here to criticize others diaries because I do not know their entire story. For one, I have had gastric bypass. I can only eat so much per day: about 800-1000 calories. I was getting so many people telling me I was not eating enough. I had to write each one and explain. Unless someone asks for my help with their eating, I will praise them for the act and effort to log and get healthy.

CorinthiaB

Hmmm. Maybe people are just trying to be supportive and not make judgement. Maybe it would be a great idea to limit the amount of friends you have to only those who have detailed information and know your situation. It is really "my" call to say oh you are not eating enough or that is not good for you. This is a personal journey and only you know what is best for you. Also, maybe that person should not have completed his/her dairy for that day and had it posted. IMHO

RachelSRoach1

Maybe I need to be more specific in my praise, but when I say good job for an end of day post, it is really to say, "way to keep track of what you eat," because for me, the mindless eating and not paying attention is how I got to be 80 lbs too heavy. There are some days I net 1000 and some days I net 2000, but I focus on keeping my weekly average at 1400. So I am not going to pass judgement on whether someone has eaten too much or too little. but I will congratulate them for being AWARE. That is truly half the battle.

But I do understand your point.

That is a terrific point too.