It's amazing how many of you that don't pay attention.

serenelake

You know, I guess I never thought about that. Everyone is always so nice to me on here I just really want to be nice back.

odusgolp

I have no idea wtf happened here...

taso42_DELETED

agreed

shellyrulz

We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

Same here

anubis609

This is part of a rant... so if you're thin skinned then stop reading.

But seriously? If the point of this website were to just give mindless praise without really paying attention... then most of you are doing great. When I complete my food diary at only about 850 calories.. don't say "great job" or "Way to go" to that.. if you had actually looked I'm sure most of you would say "That's dangerous" because it is. I have another friend who is trying to gain weight and having a VERY hard time. She lost more weight last week and a whole group of people congratulated her.. which is just further incidence of not paying attention.

I'm not saying that as a friend you need to read into every situation and know what every diary says or whatever.. but I am saying that sometimes it would be beneficial to actually know what you are saying. There are only like 10 of my friends who will put a detailed comment or actually have something to say.

Praise is a terrific confidence booster.. but when you realize how empty it is then suddenly it means nothing.

Think about it.

Also.. if you're the kind of person into a "snappy" comeback or whatever, the person inclined to defend themselves to me.. don't waste your time. You don't have to read this.. and it doesn't matter what I say if you don't consider what you're doing in the end.

Meh. I throw out "woot" too.

erickirb

I so agree, I'm kinda getting tired of people saying you have to eat 1200 and not any less. My Doc said for my size 800 to 1000 is what I should have, so people need to stop telling people they are in starve mode because we are not !!

I would get a new doctor or at least an opinion of a nutritionist if your doc is pushing 800 cals/day, that is would not even be enough if you were 5'" and 100lbs.
FYI: Most doctors have very limited training in nutrition

pavanneh

You have a good point. I have limited my friends and have gotten to know them and their situation over time. I do look at the diaries if open for viewing and praise them when they have eaten well and are within their goals. I rarely praise a diary I have not looked at. I tend to praise for others just on the fact that I know logging their food has been a problem for them and they are trying to keep track. Whether they are under or over it is the point that they are actually trying to keep track. It has been one of the hardest things for me to do is honestly put down what I eat and look at what I am eating and how much. It was horrible at first and it took alot of starts and stops to just keep going whether I am in my goals or not. So, that is what I praise people for. Just the attempt to complete something that can be very difficult.

sunkisses

We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.

Simple solution is make your diary private then. If you are eating under 1200, unless under a doctors order, is eating poorly and not caring for yourself. It's rude to call people mindless especially for your own mistakes. It's shifting the blame, plain and simple.

No, not really. She actually made it a point to say that she knows what she did was no good, and found it strange that people were congratulating her WITHOUT looking at her diary. That was the point of her complaint, she felt that people were just congratulating her without even taking a look at what she ate. I think a better solution would be to delete the friends that give mindless praise, personally, rather than feeling like you have to hide your diary. Some people keep it open because they like the criticism, not the praise that was obviously hollowed. And so she generalized, and probably misworded. You can't honestly say that you've never generalized something when you were upset, and if you can, you're lying to yourself. It's basic human nature.

Exactly. These sorts of responses are, in my opinion, just being willfully obtuse.

starwhisperer

I would get a new doctor or at least an opinion of a nutritionist if your doc is pushing 800 cals/day, that is would not even be enough if you were 5'" and 100lbs.
FYI: Most doctors have very limited training in nutrition
[/quote]


no joke, I was just at the doc today and was asking him a question about resting metabolic rate... and he said, "what is that?" LMAO I ended up giving him some site information on where to look it up. Other than that he is a fantastic doctor though. Nutrition is one of those things like skin, or allergies, or bones, where you might need to go to a specialist if you want the right info.

macpatti

If you find your friends aren't being appropriatey supportive, unfriend them. I think you're wasting time and energy on something you could have easily handled by one click of a button instead of a long rant that you know would get mixed responses. I keep my friend list very small. If I'm wanting public advice, I'll use the forum. In my opinion, you can't ask for others' advice, then complain when you don't like it. I realize you didn't specifically ask each one of your friends for advice on your diary, but if your diary is open and MFP has a tab for "comments", then you're saying you're open to recieving them. You also comment that you don't like seeing it on others' pages either. You must have way more time on your hands than I do if you're reading your friends' comments from others. Worry about your own page, and unfriend anyone who is not giving you the answers you want. I wasn't offended by your rant, and I hope you're not offended by my reply to it. Just offering you some advice based on what I would do.

Buffy2point0

Point taken. I only have a few friends and I know their goals, but I will definitely put more thought in commenting on completed diary entries.

Thanks

SixCatFaerie

Awhile back I read a similar post as yours & it truly put it into perspective for me. Now I only comment if I did actually look at the person's diary for the day. :flowerforyou:

lucky1ns

So if I say way to go becauwe somebody has logged on for 5 days in a row or burned some calories or had a loss I am not paying attention?

It's all I have time for. I dont have time to read anyones diary so I dont comment on them. I have never even seen that before.

maria25428

Who the f.... cares ? ... get off your high horse.
Appreciate people were taking the time out of there day to acknowledge it and wish you well.

tkirkes

I'm not one to generally post on things like this but... You seem to like to eat and have drinks from Mickey D's alot... That don't seem to be to healthy on your part!!! You might want to cut that out or maybe just take a few less trips. Anyhow thats just my opinion. I hope it gets better... Good luck on your journey!!!

ilookthetype

We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.

Simple solution is make your diary private then. If you are eating under 1200, unless under a doctors order, is eating poorly and not caring for yourself. It's rude to call people mindless especially for your own mistakes. It's shifting the blame, plain and simple.

You are just heinous aren't you. I disagree. I struggle with an ED, having people call me out on what I eat is vital, I can't "just do it" on my own. It's not a "mistake" often it is a sort of intentional lack of eating. I don't think it's shifting the blame, I think its more like...picking friends who are helpful, and not friend who aren't.

cobarlo14

I understand where your coming from.... However:

My take is that if you logged in your diary for the day - good or bad!!! I'll give them a WTG/Nice Job

We have to learn from our errors good or bad...

With that said there are people on her doing different things....

>Losing weight
>Gaining weight
> Maintance/Muscle
>Healthier lifesyles

So Maybe MFP could create a tag for each of us to check what we are doing here and label us... So people can comment more clearly.

As far as I am concerned Good for you for completing your diary and not giving up...

Wishing you all the best!!! - Joey

blynnblair

I actually look at people's diaries before I make comments like that typically. Most of my friends I know their situation so I feel comfortable commenting the way I do. But you do bring up a valid point.

this is what i do as well, OP does bring up a valid point

maria25428

lol

chevy88grl

So when I see someone post up that they ate only 850 cals or something my response is typically "Good job- just dont make this a regular thing". Personally I am getting tired of the people who think that an occasional sub-1200 post is some sort of earth shattering event that will cause the individual to keel over and die.

Ugh, SO with you on that! It's kind of ridiculous. I have had so many messages out of the blue from non-friends who were looking at my diary and telling me I'm not eating enough. I keep it public still though, because I am open to criticism.

See. I closed my diary because I was getting the complete opposite messages. People telling me that there's NO WAY someone who weighs 143-145lbs can eat as much as I do in a day and maintain my weight. I was accused of photoshopping my pictures, lying about my weight, etc.

Really? Who the hell has time for that nonsense? So. The diary is private and will remain private. Really - it is only for me anyway.

I don't look at nor comment on people's food diaries as a rule (unless they have specifically asked me to).

killagb

So when I see someone post up that they ate only 850 cals or something my response is typically "Good job- just dont make this a regular thing". Personally I am getting tired of the people who think that an occasional sub-1200 post is some sort of earth shattering event that will cause the individual to keel over and die.

Ugh, SO with you on that! It's kind of ridiculous. I have had so many messages out of the blue from non-friends who were looking at my diary and telling me I'm not eating enough. I keep it public still though, because I am open to criticism.

See. I closed my diary because I was getting the complete opposite messages. People telling me that there's NO WAY someone who weighs 143-145lbs can eat as much as I do in a day and maintain my weight. I was accused of photoshopping my pictures, lying about my weight, etc.

Really? Who the hell has time for that nonsense? So. The diary is private and will remain private. Really - it is only for me anyway.

I don't look at nor comment on people's food diaries as a rule (unless they have specifically asked me to).

I have a little free time for some of that nonsense. Any takers? :bigsmile:

lloydmel

I totally agree and get it. I know some people are just trying to be nice, but it's not the REAL nice, it's the fake - quick response- and I don't really care enough to look response.
I actually go in people's diaries that are my friends... if I see what they ate and don't think it's a great job, I don't say anything. I don't just look for caloric intake but I want to see if they have a great variety of foods... or if they are just eating mcD's about 3 times a day and somehow are under calories. I see people eating barely anything, but because of what they eat, the calories are so high per serving or less that they can't eat hardly anything. It makes me wonder if they can keep that up for a long period of time.
I mean, yeah... I have my off days... but some people eat that way every single day, and it's one of those pet peeves of mine... especially since it's very hard for me to lose weight and I eat pretty well every day... I eat a lot on my good days and am still under calories because I choose better foods.... but I guess it's what works for everyone...
Wow... didn't mean to make your rant into my rant... lol

Bankman1989

You have the wrong "attitude" toward this. If you are below your goals for the day or exercise, then it's an awesome feeling to have well wishers. It's for encouragement. We don't have time to go into everyone's daily diets.

If it was more specific it would say "hey she is destroying her body by starving it. Don't applaud but get on her case". People STILL wouldn't because it's not our job to get down on people who aren't taking care of their OWN business.

I only responded to this because it was one of the first "negative" posts that I've seen on this site. Others have people who may be sad or depressed because of their situation, but this is the first one I've seen that's actually malicious.

I fall under goal everyday. One day I was 3,650 calories under. I burned 3500 calories one day and didn't eat enough to maintain it. I had people saying good job and I took that time to explain my challenges. I suggest you do this instead of criticizing people who are only trying to encourage and uplift you.

Good luck to you. You're gonna need it. But change your attitude and you'll go a lot farther.

JeSuisPrest

We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.

Simple solution is make your diary private then. If you are eating under 1200, unless under a doctors order, is eating poorly and not caring for yourself. It's rude to call people mindless especially for your own mistakes. It's shifting the blame, plain and simple.

You are just heinous aren't you. I disagree. I struggle with an ED, having people call me out on what I eat is vital, I can't "just do it" on my own. It's not a "mistake" often it is a sort of intentional lack of eating. I don't think it's shifting the blame, I think its more like...picking friends who are helpful, and not friend who aren't.

Heinous??? LOL Because I feel people are responsible for their own actions? Really??? Of course friends can be encouraging, but they aren't responsible to keep you going. That is your job. And the name-calling is just plain childish.

***Edited to add, just in case you didn't know...
hei·nous   [hey-nuhs] Show IPA
adjective
hateful; odious; abominable; totally reprehensible: a heinous offense.
Origin:
1325–75; Middle English heynous < Middle French haineus, equivalent to haine hatred (derivative of haïr to hate < Germanic ) + -eus -ous

Related forms
hei·nous·ly, adverb
hei·nous·ness, noun
non·hei·nous, adjective
non·hei·nous·ly, adverb
non·hei·nous·ness, noun

Synonyms
wicked, infamous, flagrant, flagitious, atrocious, villainous, nefarious.

Antonyms
admirable.

JeSuisPrest

You have the wrong "attitude" toward this. If you are below your goals for the day or exercise, then it's an awesome feeling to have well wishers. It's for encouragement. We don't have time to go into everyone's daily diets.

If it was more specific it would say "hey she is destroying her body by starving it. Don't applaud but get on her case". People STILL wouldn't because it's not our job to get down on people who aren't taking care of their OWN business.

I only responded to this because it was one of the first "negative" posts that I've seen on this site. Others have people who may be sad or depressed because of their situation, but this is the first one I've seen that's actually malicious.

I fall under goal everyday. One day I was 3,650 calories under. I burned 3500 calories one day and didn't eat enough to maintain it. I had people saying good job and I took that time to explain my challenges. I suggest you do this instead of criticizing people who are only trying to encourage and uplift you.

Good luck to you. You're gonna need it. But change your attitude and you'll go a lot farther.

Very well said!

maria25428

You have the wrong "attitude" toward this. If you are below your goals for the day or exercise, then it's an awesome feeling to have well wishers. It's for encouragement. We don't have time to go into everyone's daily diets.

If it was more specific it would say "hey she is destroying her body by starving it. Don't applaud but get on her case". People STILL wouldn't because it's not our job to get down on people who aren't taking care of their OWN business.

I only responded to this because it was one of the first "negative" posts that I've seen on this site. Others have people who may be sad or depressed because of their situation, but this is the first one I've seen that's actually malicious.

I fall under goal everyday. One day I was 3,650 calories under. I burned 3500 calories one day and didn't eat enough to maintain it. I had people saying good job and I took that time to explain my challenges. I suggest you do this instead of criticizing people who are only trying to encourage and uplift you.

Good luck to you. You're gonna need it. But change your attitude and you'll go a lot farther.

agree 100% sometimes we are the ones that hold ourselves back becuase of our outlook on life is negative. stop blaming others and get over yourself!!!

kingtekrin

I do not leave comments on a "under his/her calorie goal" if the diary is closed but see others that do and I wonder, How do they even know that it was a "good job." They could have logged 1 slice of chocolate cake and nothing else and would never even know it.

I love this quote...I started laughing LOUDLY in a very quiet place full of people... which made it even funnier.

I had never thought about that...so true...

kingtekrin

You have the wrong "attitude" toward this. If you are below your goals for the day or exercise, then it's an awesome feeling to have well wishers. It's for encouragement. We don't have time to go into everyone's daily diets.

If it was more specific it would say "hey she is destroying her body by starving it. Don't applaud but get on her case". People STILL wouldn't because it's not our job to get down on people who aren't taking care of their OWN business.

I only responded to this because it was one of the first "negative" posts that I've seen on this site. Others have people who may be sad or depressed because of their situation, but this is the first one I've seen that's actually malicious.

I fall under goal everyday. One day I was 3,650 calories under. I burned 3500 calories one day and didn't eat enough to maintain it. I had people saying good job and I took that time to explain my challenges. I suggest you do this instead of criticizing people who are only trying to encourage and uplift you.

Good luck to you. You're gonna need it. But change your attitude and you'll go a lot farther.

agree 100% sometimes we are the ones that hold ourselves back becuase of our outlook on life is negative. stop blaming others and get over yourself!!!

BeeElMarvin

Huh? What? ...sorry, I wasn't paying attention...

voluptas63

*sigh* I wish I had so much free time to commit to policing other peoples' food diaries more so than my own.


Maybe I should quit my job?