It's amazing how many of you that don't pay attention.

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  • serenelake
    serenelake Posts: 13
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    You know, I guess I never thought about that. Everyone is always so nice to me on here I just really want to be nice back.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I have no idea wtf happened here...
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
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    agreed
  • shellyrulz
    shellyrulz Posts: 148 Member
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    We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

    Same here
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
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    This is part of a rant... so if you're thin skinned then stop reading.

    But seriously? If the point of this website were to just give mindless praise without really paying attention... then most of you are doing great. When I complete my food diary at only about 850 calories.. don't say "great job" or "Way to go" to that.. if you had actually looked I'm sure most of you would say "That's dangerous" because it is. I have another friend who is trying to gain weight and having a VERY hard time. She lost more weight last week and a whole group of people congratulated her.. which is just further incidence of not paying attention.

    I'm not saying that as a friend you need to read into every situation and know what every diary says or whatever.. but I am saying that sometimes it would be beneficial to actually know what you are saying. There are only like 10 of my friends who will put a detailed comment or actually have something to say.

    Praise is a terrific confidence booster.. but when you realize how empty it is then suddenly it means nothing.

    Think about it.

    Also.. if you're the kind of person into a "snappy" comeback or whatever, the person inclined to defend themselves to me.. don't waste your time. You don't have to read this.. and it doesn't matter what I say if you don't consider what you're doing in the end.

    Meh. I throw out "woot" too.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    I so agree, I'm kinda getting tired of people saying you have to eat 1200 and not any less. My Doc said for my size 800 to 1000 is what I should have, so people need to stop telling people they are in starve mode because we are not !!

    I would get a new doctor or at least an opinion of a nutritionist if your doc is pushing 800 cals/day, that is would not even be enough if you were 5'" and 100lbs.
    FYI: Most doctors have very limited training in nutrition
  • pavanneh
    pavanneh Posts: 65 Member
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    You have a good point. I have limited my friends and have gotten to know them and their situation over time. I do look at the diaries if open for viewing and praise them when they have eaten well and are within their goals. I rarely praise a diary I have not looked at. I tend to praise for others just on the fact that I know logging their food has been a problem for them and they are trying to keep track. Whether they are under or over it is the point that they are actually trying to keep track. It has been one of the hardest things for me to do is honestly put down what I eat and look at what I am eating and how much. It was horrible at first and it took alot of starts and stops to just keep going whether I am in my goals or not. So, that is what I praise people for. Just the attempt to complete something that can be very difficult.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

    I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.

    Simple solution is make your diary private then. If you are eating under 1200, unless under a doctors order, is eating poorly and not caring for yourself. It's rude to call people mindless especially for your own mistakes. It's shifting the blame, plain and simple.

    No, not really. She actually made it a point to say that she knows what she did was no good, and found it strange that people were congratulating her WITHOUT looking at her diary. That was the point of her complaint, she felt that people were just congratulating her without even taking a look at what she ate. I think a better solution would be to delete the friends that give mindless praise, personally, rather than feeling like you have to hide your diary. Some people keep it open because they like the criticism, not the praise that was obviously hollowed. And so she generalized, and probably misworded. You can't honestly say that you've never generalized something when you were upset, and if you can, you're lying to yourself. It's basic human nature.
    Exactly. These sorts of responses are, in my opinion, just being willfully obtuse.
  • starwhisperer
    starwhisperer Posts: 367
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    I would get a new doctor or at least an opinion of a nutritionist if your doc is pushing 800 cals/day, that is would not even be enough if you were 5'" and 100lbs.
    FYI: Most doctors have very limited training in nutrition
    [/quote]


    no joke, I was just at the doc today and was asking him a question about resting metabolic rate... and he said, "what is that?" LMAO I ended up giving him some site information on where to look it up. Other than that he is a fantastic doctor though. Nutrition is one of those things like skin, or allergies, or bones, where you might need to go to a specialist if you want the right info.
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
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    If you find your friends aren't being appropriatey supportive, unfriend them. I think you're wasting time and energy on something you could have easily handled by one click of a button instead of a long rant that you know would get mixed responses. I keep my friend list very small. If I'm wanting public advice, I'll use the forum. In my opinion, you can't ask for others' advice, then complain when you don't like it. I realize you didn't specifically ask each one of your friends for advice on your diary, but if your diary is open and MFP has a tab for "comments", then you're saying you're open to recieving them. You also comment that you don't like seeing it on others' pages either. You must have way more time on your hands than I do if you're reading your friends' comments from others. Worry about your own page, and unfriend anyone who is not giving you the answers you want. I wasn't offended by your rant, and I hope you're not offended by my reply to it. Just offering you some advice based on what I would do.
  • Buffy2point0
    Buffy2point0 Posts: 31 Member
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    Point taken. I only have a few friends and I know their goals, but I will definitely put more thought in commenting on completed diary entries.

    Thanks
  • SixCatFaerie
    SixCatFaerie Posts: 690 Member
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    Awhile back I read a similar post as yours & it truly put it into perspective for me. Now I only comment if I did actually look at the person's diary for the day. :flowerforyou:
  • lucky1ns
    lucky1ns Posts: 358 Member
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    So if I say way to go becauwe somebody has logged on for 5 days in a row or burned some calories or had a loss I am not paying attention?

    It's all I have time for. I dont have time to read anyones diary so I dont comment on them. I have never even seen that before.
  • maria25428
    maria25428 Posts: 70
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    Who the f.... cares ? ... get off your high horse.
    Appreciate people were taking the time out of there day to acknowledge it and wish you well.
  • tkirkes
    tkirkes Posts: 121
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    I'm not one to generally post on things like this but... You seem to like to eat and have drinks from Mickey D's alot... That don't seem to be to healthy on your part!!! You might want to cut that out or maybe just take a few less trips. Anyhow thats just my opinion. I hope it gets better... Good luck on your journey!!!
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    We are not responsible for you eating poorly. I don't look anyone's diary but my own. I am responsible for me and only me. Good luck to you.

    I don't really think it's fair of you to imply that she was blaming others for her eating poorly. She just said that it seems people don't even bother to look at how she's done before they offer empty praise.

    Simple solution is make your diary private then. If you are eating under 1200, unless under a doctors order, is eating poorly and not caring for yourself. It's rude to call people mindless especially for your own mistakes. It's shifting the blame, plain and simple.

    You are just heinous aren't you. I disagree. I struggle with an ED, having people call me out on what I eat is vital, I can't "just do it" on my own. It's not a "mistake" often it is a sort of intentional lack of eating. I don't think it's shifting the blame, I think its more like...picking friends who are helpful, and not friend who aren't.
  • cobarlo14
    cobarlo14 Posts: 582 Member
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    I understand where your coming from.... However:

    My take is that if you logged in your diary for the day - good or bad!!! I'll give them a WTG/Nice Job

    We have to learn from our errors good or bad...

    With that said there are people on her doing different things....

    >Losing weight
    >Gaining weight
    > Maintance/Muscle
    >Healthier lifesyles

    So Maybe MFP could create a tag for each of us to check what we are doing here and label us... So people can comment more clearly.

    As far as I am concerned Good for you for completing your diary and not giving up...

    Wishing you all the best!!! - Joey
  • blynnblair
    blynnblair Posts: 274 Member
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    I actually look at people's diaries before I make comments like that typically. Most of my friends I know their situation so I feel comfortable commenting the way I do. But you do bring up a valid point.

    this is what i do as well, OP does bring up a valid point
  • maria25428
    maria25428 Posts: 70
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    lol
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    So when I see someone post up that they ate only 850 cals or something my response is typically "Good job- just dont make this a regular thing". Personally I am getting tired of the people who think that an occasional sub-1200 post is some sort of earth shattering event that will cause the individual to keel over and die.

    Ugh, SO with you on that! It's kind of ridiculous. I have had so many messages out of the blue from non-friends who were looking at my diary and telling me I'm not eating enough. I keep it public still though, because I am open to criticism.

    See. I closed my diary because I was getting the complete opposite messages. People telling me that there's NO WAY someone who weighs 143-145lbs can eat as much as I do in a day and maintain my weight. I was accused of photoshopping my pictures, lying about my weight, etc.

    Really? Who the hell has time for that nonsense? So. The diary is private and will remain private. Really - it is only for me anyway.

    I don't look at nor comment on people's food diaries as a rule (unless they have specifically asked me to).

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