When a man cheats, is it the woman's fault?

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  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    First, don't ever say I'm wrong. I will kick you in the shins sooo damn hard and then run away squealing.

    LMAO!!! I like you.


    :blushing: Why thank you :blushing:
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,311 Member
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    Leave & file for a divorce...

    Then, have copious amounts of sex with other people.

    In that order.

    just copious amounts?
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,311 Member
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    It depends,...did she cook and clean around the house for him prior to it happening?

    No, HE did everything! Cooked, took care of the kids, did the laundry...he catered to her every need. He gave her whatever she wanted.

    Well, I think we found the problem! :smokin:

    And in the end he gave her what she deserved.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Leave & file for a divorce...

    Then, have copious amounts of sex with other people.

    In that order.

    just copious amounts?

    Don't want anyone getting hurt and missing their P90x!
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    On another note, a big part of relationships, is sex.

    There is a lot of important parts in a relationship, sex is one of them....but if you use the logic that it's justified to cheat if a persons needs are not met sexually...then it should also be justified for people to cheat if their needs are not met in other areas. Using this logic, since no relationship is perfect, everyone would be justified to cheat.

    *edited to make sense. I apparently cannot write a coherent thought today.
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    On another note, a big part of relationships, is sex.

    And sammiches... don't forget the sammiches.

    ...and back rubs.
  • lakersfan4life
    lakersfan4life Posts: 322 Member
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    yes
  • neva4saken
    neva4saken Posts: 300 Member
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    marriage is ministry all by itself .. when it comes to the topic of cheating people tend to have a wallpaper size list of reasons why they did it bottom line it comes down to self control .. but if the foundation was not strong in the beginning then the result is going to end rough ... there is never a good reason to be unfaithful you should be man or woman enough to just say "this is not working and i think we should discuss a separation" however you also can not blame her for how she treated him he stood for it .. we teach others how to treat us .. i say it takes too much energy to be unfaithful and dishonest i always live my life by truth and understanding what love means and know that no one is perfect ..
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
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    On another note, a big part of relationships, is sex.

    And sammiches... don't forget the sammiches.

    LOL - I tell you what, you make sure you do the sex thing right, and I'll be more than happy to make you as many sammiches as you want! :laugh:
  • TakeOne
    TakeOne Posts: 345 Member
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    No... it's never the other person's fault. You can try to justify it, but take ownership of your actions.

    Period.


    ^^This^^

    Seriously!?!!?! Nobody has control over anyone but THEMSELVES! People need to man up (for lack of a better expression) and stop trying to blame other people for their OWN actions!! YOU make your OWN decisions..not anyone else. If anyone ever tells your friend (or anyone for that matter) something different, she needs to turn right around and walk away from them, b/c they are plain crazy!!! Just plain crazy.
  • JaydeSkye
    JaydeSkye Posts: 282 Member
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    I'm just saying you can't blame a guy because he married a hott girl and she grew into a fat old hag. Same thing for women, they marry an athlete and he turns into a couch potato, can't blame her for checking out other guys. Its natural. Don't like it? Take better care of yourself - one less thing you'll have to worry about ;)
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I think if you get repeatedly abused by someone then it wouldnt take much to drop into someone elses lap before you've done the decent thing and ended the relationship. You know how it goes, you dont just get treated badly and then wake up the next day and say 'I'm leaving' you give it one more chance, hell, LOADS of chances, and hope things will change. You get into a rut of hoping and wishing that things would go back to how they were...... blah blah....

    I dont think it's the wife's fault. She is who she is. He is probably weak and likes to be dominated, otherwise he wouldnt have put up with it. But as the opportunity came along, he probably did it to spite her. Thinking in some kind of hurt and vengeful way that she deserves it for treating him so bad? I dunno, just sayin.......

    Relationships are complex, for sure. :ohwell:
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    I'm just saying you can't blame a guy because he married a hott girl and she grew into a fat old hag. Same thing for women, they marry an athlete and he turns into a couch potato, can't blame her for checking out other guys. Its natural. Don't like it? Take better care of yourself - one less thing you'll have to worry about ;)

    Bit harsh and superficial. It's not 'natural' to check out other guys if you're in love with someone at all!!! True love is much deeper than physical lust.........we all grow 'old', and fatter, that is what is 'natural'........not saying that you cant grow old in a healthy way, just sayin that looks fade, and so does the horn!!........... :bigsmile:
  • xMissAprilx
    xMissAprilx Posts: 143 Member
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    No, cheating is cheating. Plain and simple. If you are unhappy with your relationship than get out of it. Cheating is never justified. The people who try to say it is are more than likely looking for excuses. If your significant other is a complete *kitten* (be it man or woman) than leave them if it isn't working for you. The only way cheating is someone else's fault would be is he/she literally made you do it, as in held you down, tied you up, held a gun to your head. Then again that would also be classified as rape, assault, etc.
  • SMarie10
    SMarie10 Posts: 953 Member
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    It depends,...did she cook and clean around the house for him prior to it happening?

    No, HE did everything! Cooked, took care of the kids, did the laundry...he catered to her every need. He gave her whatever she wanted.
    Really - I hope you read this original comment. Come on - cook and clean... Hope she was also barefoot and pregnant. LMAO
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
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    If he was that unhappy in the marriage, he should have left, not cheated.
    This!!

    Also wonder why she was always so mean to him? Just cause she thought she could? Maybe he decided he had enough and cheated on her as a way to get out. Its a lame way to do it, but apparently a lot of people do. my ex roomie did it to get out of her crappy marriage, but her actions were hers, not her ex's. She tried the blame game, but no one bought it.
  • juliesummers
    juliesummers Posts: 738 Member
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    NO. Cheating is NEVER the other person's fault. EVER.
    It's our disgusting misogynistic society that asserts that men are weak-minded sexual beings, and that women are somehow responsible for keeping them satiated otherwise they're "just asking" to be cheated on (just like society tells us that women are"asking" to be raped and objectified if they're wearing certain things or acting a certain way).
    It's disgusting, and we are all (men and women alike) responsible for our own actions. At any given point we are in control of our decisions, and if the guy didn't want to stay faithful he could have left. Infidelity s is NEVER the fault of anyone else.
  • Slimithy
    Slimithy Posts: 348 Member
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    Ok since we're all so dead set on our opinions...

    A man marries the girl of his dreams. They love each other deeply but sadly one day she's in a terrible car accident. She survives but loses most of her body function. The man loves her, stays with her, cares for her in the most intimate of ways. When he's not working he's tending to her and trying to keep her happy. She'll never be able to have sex again.

    Is he a pig and a *kitten* if he quietly meets some woman and keeps it from his wife, only to spare her further pain?

    Or should the man leave her, like many of you are saying? Or should he never have sex again in his life as well? Or should he be honest and tell his wife that since she's handicapped he's going to be out banging other women from time to time?

    Few things are black and white in this life.
    No. He should excuse himself to the bathroom every night. And some mornings.

    Just because it's not an easy choice or a choice you want to make doesn't mean it's not a choice.

    Exactly. The vow is sickness and in health. I don't want my wife banging strange C%^k if I'm injured anymore than she wants me to have strange Pu$%y. We've been married for 12 years, how disrespectful would that be to her and my kids? Remember, in your example she's not able to experience sex either. Also, knowing the freak my wife is, she'd find a way to have some level of intimacy. Either way, I didn't marry her for the warm spot between her legs, I married her for her and that's what I promised to honor.

    There have been times she wasn't the best wife and there were times I wasn't the best husband; be neither of us strayed, we sure aren't going to start now.
  • mamashatzie
    mamashatzie Posts: 238 Member
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    My sister cheated on her husband. When he confronted her, she told him it was his fault because he has anger management issues, and she refused to apologize. Yes...her husband does have anger management issues. But he has never abused her in any way, and he is overall a good guy. We all have our flaws, and you cannot justify your wrongdoing by pointing out someone else's flaws. I think my sister was 100% wrong in this issue, and it makes me sick. She chose to cheat. If she was that happy, she should have left him and then been free to bang whomever she wanted.

    Cheating is 100% preventable. It's not an accident, a mishap, or something that just happens. It is a conscious decision. And if you cheat when you are drunk, you are still 100% at fault because you chose to be drunk and in a position where you could cheat.

    Life is made up of our choices. You, and you alone, are responsible for the choices you amke.
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
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    If you are being treated poorly break it off or get help, but that is not a free pass to break a vow. It's always the cheaters fault, no excuses.