Tell me if this is creepy, or if I am just overreacting....

Options
135678

Replies

  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    A little background: Her mom and I split before she was 1. She was with this guy before the ink hit the divorce papers. I do not speak to her mom unless absolutely necessary. I have never spoken to him. I know he runs his mouth about me to my daughter all the time. Sometimes she stands up for me. Sometimes her mom runs her mouth about me too. I hear about that second hand as she has someone she will talk to about it that she knows will talk to me, as it is very hard on her of course. I never, ever talk about them to her in a bad light. She's getting old enough now to see that on her own.

    I think if this persists, you really should have a talk with her mother about it. It's important for you to know have a good sense of well-being and for you to know that your daughter is safe in that home. What I don't understand is why your daughter's friends would accept his friend request in the first place.
  • Scoobies87
    Scoobies87 Posts: 379
    Options
    I had a blackberry and all my facebook notifications came through automatically. HOWEVER, My friends status's and wall posts did not notify me. You would have to be sat there on your phone/computer watching the homepage constantly.

    I find this really weird. Facebook makes it so easy for people to watch others, perv on their pics and want to know where they are all the time. It's scary. That's not to say that he is doing this for sure, however it doesn't seem right.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    Options
    Go with your gut Dad! You are her father, if you are watching out for her, checking in from time to time, he doesn't need to. YOU are the dad not him. Unless your daughter has a history of making poor decisions that put her at risk she is allowed to have a few boundries. I am a vigilant mom. When my four kids were young I wanted to know where they were going, who they would be with, what they would be doing, and when they would be home, If I didn't have that info they didn't go. So I am not a push over as a parent. Safety is one thing, control and hovering are another, especially from an opposite gender step-parent. Since it bothers her and she has spoken to him about it and it has not changed it is time for you to step up. As her parent you can tell her it is ok for her to block him. Then tell him she has your permission to do so.

    this!!!!
  • Neliel
    Neliel Posts: 507 Member
    Options
    I would be royally creeped out. ROYALLY. I'm 23 and just the thought of my dad doing that creeps me the hell out.
  • LycosNyctereutes
    LycosNyctereutes Posts: 61
    Options
    A little background: Her mom and I split before she was 1. She was with this guy before the ink hit the divorce papers. I do not speak to her mom unless absolutely necessary. I have never spoken to him. I know he runs his mouth about me to my daughter all the time. Sometimes she stands up for me. Sometimes her mom runs her mouth about me too. I hear about that second hand as she has someone she will talk to about it that she knows will talk to me, as it is very hard on her of course. I never, ever talk about them to her in a bad light. She's getting old enough now to see that on her own.

    The thing that concerns me about this post, is that you seem to have heard about this second or third hand. Have you actually talke to your daughter about it? What does she say about it?
  • KevDaniel
    KevDaniel Posts: 449 Member
    Options
    It is a dangerous line to walk.. The quick response could just be because he has mobile alerts, but he would have had to manually set it up to notify him when she post. The constant page stalking certainly would send some alarms my way. There is no reason to be chatting up young girls that much.. As a father myself I would have to call foul and put a stop to it. I don't think your overreacting at all. You would would rather be over protective than wait until something weird happens and say I should have stopped it.
  • fishboat
    fishboat Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    Smart to worry, keep on top of all that is going on. Bad things could being going on. Yes it is creepy and you are not overracting.
  • 3ball
    3ball Posts: 338
    Options
    Thanks everyone. Honestly, this scares the hell out of me. It probably really isn't anything. But what if it is? There has always just been something off with him. Of course from the circumstances he never really had a chance, but still. Now that my little girl isn't a little girl anymore, I don't know.

    I know her mom won't do anything about it. They have a child together and that kid gets everything. Every trip they take is for him. They are always too busy to take her to do anything because of that kid. It's really weird, but it seems like the only time her mom really gives a damn about her is when she is at my house. That's when she all of a sudden has time to take her school shopping, etc... This is a lot of frustration boiling over at once, I know. But damn.
  • 3ball
    3ball Posts: 338
    Options
    BTW, this didn't just start happening. It's been going on for a couple of years or so.
  • mlh612
    mlh612 Posts: 311 Member
    Options
    Kind of creepy! I can understand checking on FB to see what is being posted and make sure nothing is out of line, but for him to post on her updates constantly and on updates of her friends is just a little too weird for me! Has your daughter mentioned anything about this?
  • 3ball
    3ball Posts: 338
    Options
    A little background: Her mom and I split before she was 1. She was with this guy before the ink hit the divorce papers. I do not speak to her mom unless absolutely necessary. I have never spoken to him. I know he runs his mouth about me to my daughter all the time. Sometimes she stands up for me. Sometimes her mom runs her mouth about me too. I hear about that second hand as she has someone she will talk to about it that she knows will talk to me, as it is very hard on her of course. I never, ever talk about them to her in a bad light. She's getting old enough now to see that on her own.

    The thing that concerns me about this post, is that you seem to have heard about this second or third hand. Have you actually talke to your daughter about it? What does she say about it?
    She doesn't really talk to me much about the deep stuff. She will talk to her step-mom though, and that's how I hear about it. I would prefer she talked to me of course, but as long as she has someone that she can open up to, I'm glad for that.
  • ncgatorfan
    ncgatorfan Posts: 517
    Options
    I don't think she will block him just for the drama it will create in her house. I don't want to block him so I can see when he posts on her page all the time.

    I've thought about saying something on her page after he does as I feel he's pretty much a stalker at this point, but I worry about what that will do to her at home.


    Hate to say it, but I'm worried about her with him at home too. He is a bonafied creep and I wouldn't trust him. Who friends teenagers like that??

    I would pull him aside and tell him you're watching him. Hopefully that will scare the crap out of him and he'll stop. Being with her at home, though, is another thing. I'd talk to her and reassure her that she can come to you if anything happens. Better be safe than sorry. Good luck, sweetie!
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    Options
    If your gut is telling you it doesn't seem right then it probably isn't. I think its a little on the creepy side. She is 15 yr old, as I assume most of my friends are. This guy could have some sick fantasy or it could be he just wants to be the "cool hot dad" of the girls. Either way, he should not be friends with her friends on Facebook. I understand being her friend so he can keep tabs on her (like every parent needs to do). Some people tend to forget that social graces and rules apply on Facebook. Its like this alter world where people forget what is appropriate and what isn't. If he isn't calling her friends and texting them in "real" life then he has no business being friends with them on Facebook.
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    Probably because they think he is "cool" and don't want to be left out of the loop. Also its more about popularity and having a ton of friends on FB, not mattering who said friends actually are. I work with a bunch of teenage girls. Trust me the reasoning for most of the crap they do isn't sound, haha....as I am sure many parents of teenage girls can attest too!
  • CrimsonHellkite
    CrimsonHellkite Posts: 114
    Options
    well honestly its facebook its for creeps...
  • 3ball
    3ball Posts: 338
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    That was from when they were younger yet. 10-12 range maybe? Far more innocent then for them and how were they to know? As far as I know though, he doesn't post on their pages anymore. But really, is that something you should need to be told to stop doing?
  • Neliel
    Neliel Posts: 507 Member
    Options
    All it boils down to is that she's your daughter and she's obviously feeling very uncomfortable with this situation. You need to protect her from it.
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    Probably because they think he is "cool" and don't want to be left out of the loop. Also its more about popularity and having a ton of friends on FB, not mattering who said friends actually are. I work with a bunch of teenage girls. Trust me the reasoning for most of the crap they do isn't sound, haha....as I am sure many parents of teenage girls can attest too!

    I'm a teenager myself, and I don't add anyone I don't know. I really wish this generation would realize that popularity isn't everything life should be about.
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    That was from when they were younger yet. 10-12 range maybe? Far more innocent then for them and how were they to know? As far as I know though, he doesn't post on their pages anymore. But really, is that something you should need to be told to stop doing?

    Oh, I see. Well, if he starts to write on their pages again, I really think you should say something to your daughter's mom. I'm sure nothing is going on, but it will put a stop to your anxiety. :)

Categories