Tell me if this is creepy, or if I am just overreacting....

Options
124678

Replies

  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Options
    I don't think it's creepy...but I do see how it could come off that way. There's a way to set facebook so it sends a message to your phone is someone posts something so thats probably what he has... he's probably not sitting at a computer waiting for her to post. He might just want to make sure she isn't posting something she shouldn't be and thats why the messages are sent to his phone in the first place. My mom has a facebook and is ALWAYS commenting or liking my stuff. If it ends up being a real issue, ask her to change her privacy settings. There's a way to make it so specific people can't post. She can still be friends with him and he can still see things, but he can't comment on anything.

    I don't know the situation either, obviously, but I wouldn't be too worried about it :) some people just like to know what their children, or in this case step-children, are doing. My mom used to add all my friends and i was 18! I think the fact that she's so young is a big part of it too. He might just be trying to look out for her :)

    I'm with this. I would certainly investigate - talk to your daughter and find out if he does anything else that's bothering her. But many of my "friends" on FB are teenagers because *they* befriended me. I have friends who are my ex-boyfriend's (we didn't even live together) kids and *their* friends. I don't go onto their pages often & "like" things, but they even text message me from time to time. Granted, I'm a woman, and pretty much everyone who meets me thinks I'm fun and crazy. But with that said, consider the nature of his personality in that way as well and the nature of his friendships IRL. Your daughter should set some filters so that all of her posts don't include him.
  • flutterqueen04
    flutterqueen04 Posts: 278
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    Probably because they think he is "cool" and don't want to be left out of the loop. Also its more about popularity and having a ton of friends on FB, not mattering who said friends actually are. I work with a bunch of teenage girls. Trust me the reasoning for most of the crap they do isn't sound, haha....as I am sure many parents of teenage girls can attest too!

    I'm a teenager myself, and I don't add anyone I don't know. I really wish this generation would realize that popularity isn't everything life should be about.

    Amen!!!! But, sadly your attitude is rare and for a lot of teens its all about popularity and social networking sites just add fuel to the fire.
  • RocketsGirl75
    RocketsGirl75 Posts: 648
    Options
    ICK! yes that is very very Creepy! I def think you should do something!
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    Probably because they think he is "cool" and don't want to be left out of the loop. Also its more about popularity and having a ton of friends on FB, not mattering who said friends actually are. I work with a bunch of teenage girls. Trust me the reasoning for most of the crap they do isn't sound, haha....as I am sure many parents of teenage girls can attest too!

    I'm a teenager myself, and I don't add anyone I don't know. I really wish this generation would realize that popularity isn't everything life should be about.

    Amen!!!! But, sadly your attitude is rare and for a lot of teens its all about popularity and social networking sites just add fuel to the fire.

    Thank you. <3 I enjoy being different. As long as I have my fiance and my close friends, I'm fine. I don't need a bunch of teenage drama queen brats in my life.
  • 3ball
    3ball Posts: 338
    Options


    I'm a teenager myself, and I don't add anyone I don't know. I really wish this generation would realize that popularity isn't everything life should be about.

    Very well said.
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
    Options
    I would find that creepy as a parent. I'm friends with my mom & dad and step mom along with various other relatives...HOWEVER I'm 25...I have a kid...I'm an adult. My mom comments on my stuff and vice versa but not like how you're describing.

    True Story
    One of my younger brother's friend's Dad friend requested me once on facebook and I've babysat for him and his wife before and taken their daughter shopping with my younger step sister (I'm 6yrs older than my brother and 10yrs older than my step sister). I thought it was a little odd that he friend requested but I accepted the request....now mind you this was last year, so I was 24. Then I started noticing him liking a bunch of my pictures and posts ALL the time. I started getting emails about my posts and THEN he crossed a line. This married man who I've known him and his wife for like 10yrs informed me that his wife works nights and that he could figure out a way to make sure the kids were out of the house and I was welcome to come over for some safe, no strings attached fun....WTF?!?! I was horrified! I promptly deleted him....after ripping into him about how that's disgusting and he should work on his marriage & blah blah blah
  • avautier
    avautier Posts: 1 Member
    Options
    CREEPYYYYYYYYY
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Options
    It seems creepy to me. It obviously bothers your daughter. Have you talked to her mom about it? If so, what does she have to say about it? Or, maybe as others have suggested, talk to him directly, or maybe to be really smart about it, sit down and talk to her mom and the stepdad together.

    Bry for the win. Def creepy.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,708 Member
    Options
    If it was my daughter, I'd be concerned. I work with teenagers daily, but don't get involved with posting on their facebook. Creepy.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    Options
    You need to talk to him. It seems creepy on the surface, but maybe his intentions are good. In his mind he could be trying to be the cool parental figure or something.
  • abazooday727
    abazooday727 Posts: 150
    Options
    Go with the daddy gut feeling. Talk to your daughter. Gotta keep the creeps from creepin. Make them wise to it.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Options
    There are so many reasons why he could be posting on her FB - I think most of them have been covered: wanting acceptance, making his presence known, keeping tabs, he's a socially awkward internet geek, or maybe he's a total creep. Also, please weigh your daughter's level of uncomfortableness with the knowledge that teens are uncomfortable acknowledging they have parents at all, let alone parents that hang out on FB.

    First thing first, I'd talk to your daughter and see what kind of reading you can get off of her level of discomfort when at her mom's house. How she REALLY feels about this guy, etc. If he's been in her life since she was a year old, then he's kind of like a father, even though he's legally only step... so I mean, it's not like the guy just showed up a few years ago and is making everything all weird ... if he's always been kinda creepy, see how she feels about him and then start panicking if you get any bad vibes.

    Just be careful with accusations, okay? It's important to protect your daughter if something bad is going down, but if this man is wrongly accused it could ruin his life.

    And I'm not talking out of my *kitten* here, I have a 15 year old daughter myself. Two and a half years ago things got real crazy and she moved 500 miles away to live with her dad, whom she had never lived with before. It was a tough decision and I had a lot of worry, but in the end it worked out that we are all better for it. It's still hard to go a day or more without hearing from her, knowing she's so far away that I couldn't help immediately if something sh!tty went down.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    That was from when they were younger yet. 10-12 range maybe? Far more innocent then for them and how were they to know? As far as I know though, he doesn't post on their pages anymore. But really, is that something you should need to be told to stop doing?

    WHY were these kids on FB at that age? My daughter wasn't allowed on until she was 15 and she still had to give me her password. And I was reluctant then.
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
    Options
    I understand that he may want to act like the protective step father however, that's a lil too extreme! And second with all the child molestation you hear of I'd be questioning that situation bc people are sick! I don't like the sounds of that. Sounds kinda like he wants to be friends with teenagers instead of being a father figure to one! Kinda odd to me.
  • meggers123
    meggers123 Posts: 711 Member
    Options
    it definitely depends on what he is saying. I'm now an adult, but I've always had a laid-back relationship with my mom's husband, and he was a friend during the crazy teenage years. Ok, so Facebook didn't exist back then, but I felt I could talk to him about things if my mom (or dad) wasn't around.

    Granted that was me, if your daughter is uncomfortable, then it should stop. Otherwise, like other people said, he may just be trying to build a relationship with his step-daughter, in a non-creepy but maybe "uncool, grown-up" kind of way.

    My Advice? Talk to your daughter.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Options
    I agree with everyone telling you to talk to your daughter and get her feelings on the subject. Also, he does seem to come off as creepy, but again I agree that the Facebook stalking could be his clumsy way of trying to relate to her...maybe you need to have a heart to heart with him as well. Just let him know that you are watching over your daughter and all. He should get the message and back off.
  • HollyTsiaussis
    HollyTsiaussis Posts: 415 Member
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    That was from when they were younger yet. 10-12 range maybe? Far more innocent then for them and how were they to know? As far as I know though, he doesn't post on their pages anymore. But really, is that something you should need to be told to stop doing?

    WHY were these kids on FB at that age? My daughter wasn't allowed on until she was 15 and she still had to give me her password. And I was reluctant then.

    Everyone's parenting style is different.
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    Options
    I'd think a comment on her page occasionally is no big deal. But all the time is creepy, plus his interactions with her friends. If it were my daughter, I'd step in right now as the father and make it known to this guy you're watching him.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Options
    Why would her friends accept his requests though? That's something I don't understand.

    That was from when they were younger yet. 10-12 range maybe? Far more innocent then for them and how were they to know? As far as I know though, he doesn't post on their pages anymore. But really, is that something you should need to be told to stop doing?

    WHY were these kids on FB at that age? My daughter wasn't allowed on until she was 15 and she still had to give me her password. And I was reluctant then.

    Everyone's parenting style is different.

    Correct. Some parents believe a forum for older teenagers and adults that's full of inappropriate for children content is not a place for 10-year-olds.
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
    Options
    I would feel that this is creepy. Being on your kid's facebook as friends to periodically check in on them and what not is one thing.. to be constantly "liking" everything and making comments to her and her friends is another. Even if they arent sexual in nature.

    A Parent is a parent.. a friend is a friend. The two shouldnt mix.

    If this isn't something normal, and she didn't want him doing it. Then yes it would bother me.

    All the kids in my family are friends with their parents, and grandparents and aunts and uncles on facebook. So seeing my brother post a biz-zillion times on my nieces facebook page isn't really out of the norm. for my family.

    If he is giving you the creeps I would ask your daughter about it. Like ask her about HIM not just the facebook thing. You never know, he could be a good guy...just annoying. Or he might be trying to hard to be her "friend" because he is a step-parent. A lot of times step parents feel like they have to go above and beyond to try and bond with their spouses kids.

Categories