OK, let's talk

Learning2LoveMe

I must not spend enough time in the forums... but I don't see any drama, arguments, hatefulness, etc. I used to see a little heatedness in some HCG topics but that was the extent of it.

And now for a request.... can we get a 'like' button?? I know its been asked a billion times but it would be must easier to "like" peoples auto-posts when they are finished with their diary than going through and commenting on everyone. Even better yet (and I know this has been requested too) is a notification for 'wall posts', so if someone comments on your status or you ask a question on theirs and they reply you would know about it.

Thanks for everything you do Mike (and the mods)... I love this site and I'm always telling anyone who wants to get healthy to join here. Ok, back to my corner now. hehe

FearAnLoathing

I think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.

You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.

^^^ OMG this this this

Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikini
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups

Mike

Thanks for all you do! I have been very successful with my wightloss since finding MFP. First I just used it as an app on my phone and then I found the online forums.......and made friends, and I don't think that I would be as successful without the support network I have formed.

That being said...yes, I have seen some things on the boards that have been in bad taste - I have seen some stuff that has broken the rules and tested the rules - you know what I do???? I leave the topic.

In the chit/chat and fun forum, I know there is usually going to be something considered to some as "bad taste" I enter at my own risk.

I just think that there are some people that need to grow up around here and quit clicking "report post" to make them feel like they have power or something.

If you don't like it, move on.

You know, I hear a lot about this - if you don't like it, don't click on it. But I absolutely don't agree with that statement, and I think that's an unfair request to make of someone. We all have topics we are uncomfortable with. You have your boundaries too. And if more and more topics started becoming topics you didn't like, it wouldn't be enough to just not click on them - you'd leave.

We don't want to be a site where majority rules. We want everyone to feel comfortable, not just the majority.

Now groups will definitely help, as you can find like-minded people to group with and chat about virtually whatever you'd like. But on the main forums, we're not going to tell people that if they don't like it, don't click on it. The focus of MyFitnessPal is to help people be healthy, and we want to make sure that the forums assist in that however possible.

starracer23

Just want to say THANKS for all your hard work and for creating this site!!

A few thoughts:

-Instead of the clickable "rules page" how about a PM that is sent to all the new Pals as soon as they are a member. In that PM will be the rules, also it can discuss the search function and where it is and how it works, and I guess anything else you think should be there since this is your site.

-Perhaps a FAQ page that is also in the PM

**I do love the thought of an ignore button, would also need to be reversible.**

That is all that I can think of for right now...again THANKS for all your hard work!!

zorbaru

ok, im not saying i agree with all the harrassment and abuse and etc (not that i have seen any of it personally), but lets be honest peolpe. it is an internet forum and with that there will people that have a different point of view to you, and some people will just be pricks.

i think the moderation is fine, the groups are a great idea, but i think it is also up to the people that are reading the posts to only pay attention to those posts that are valid, constructive and non abusive. just ignore all the other crap.

it is fine to disagree, its fine to argue your point, so long as you do it in a logical, non abusive way.

im on a martial arts forum, and with martial arts is probably second only to religion when it comes to the fanatacism and devisiveness. but i have no problem with people disagreeing with what i say as long as they can provide a valid argument for their opinion. if they dont, then i just move on to the next post.

so lets just chill.

NeuroticVirgo

I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served

^^that^^

This is a good point... It just sucks that the moderators end up being the people who have to break up the bar fight...so they are just trying to stop it before it starts... (if you keep going with the bar analogy)

MassiveDelta

Bump ...so I can come back to voice my moderated opinion.

kaitimae

First off, thank you so much for posting this explanation.

I think groups are a great idea. Personally, I would LOVE to be able to connect with other Christians and not feel like I was going against forum rules. My faith has a lot to do with every single part of my life, including weight loss and trying to live a healthier life. I think it is hurtful, and I don't think it is fair that we can't post about that in the main forum, especially if we are doing it in a respectful manner. It wouldn't bother me at all if people of other faiths, atheists, agnostics, etc. were to start threads regarding their own faiths or lack therof - I simply wouldn't read them! (Please extrapolate this to politics, sexual orientation, other supposedly "hot button topics.") Just because I don't agree with someone does not mean they are wrong, though perhaps some other users are not able to make this distinction.

For me though, I feel the forum rules are, in general, way too strict, and you are alienating a lot of - really great - users. When things get to be as drama-filled as today was, and it causes you lose one of the most knowledgeable, helpful people on this website - that really is a shame.

I love MFP. The calorie and exercise trackers are superb. And I take FULL advantage of the forums, (yes, mostly simply for the social aspect) despite knowing that I am currently "not allowed" to post things regarding one of the most important aspects of my life. I really appreciate all that you and the MFP team do, Mike. Thank you for working hard to improve the site and make it even better for all of us.

macpatti

Thanks for all you do! I have been very successful with my wightloss since finding MFP. First I just used it as an app on my phone and then I found the online forums.......and made friends, and I don't think that I would be as successful without the support network I have formed.

That being said...yes, I have seen some things on the boards that have been in bad taste - I have seen some stuff that has broken the rules and tested the rules - you know what I do???? I leave the topic.

In the chit/chat and fun forum, I know there is usually going to be something considered to some as "bad taste" I enter at my own risk.

I just think that there are some people that need to grow up around here and quit clicking "report post" to make them feel like they have power or something.

If you don't like it, move on.

You know, I hear a lot about this - if you don't like it, don't click on it. But I absolutely don't agree with that statement, and I think that's an unfair request to make of someone. We all have topics we are uncomfortable with. You have your boundaries too. And if more and more topics started becoming topics you didn't like, it wouldn't be enough to just not click on them - you'd leave.

We don't want to be a site where majority rules. We want everyone to feel comfortable, not just the majority.

Now groups will definitely help, as you can find like-minded people to group with and chat about virtually whatever you'd like. But on the main forums, we're not going to tell people that if they don't like it, don't click on it. The focus of MyFitnessPal is to help people be healthy, and we want to make sure that the forums assist in that however possible.

THIS!!!! Thank you.

mikeyml

First of all, thank you for providing this site for all of us to use and for opening up a dialogue between the members and the leadership. This site is really unlike any other that I've been a member of and I know it's had a tremendously positive impact on a lot of people.

Second, I think that the fault does not fall on you 100%. A lot of the people here know about the rules and choose to ignore them purposely because it's exciting to do things you're not supposed to do. Unfortunately, I don't think that's something that can be negotiated because those people will always try to get away with as much as they can. When these actions get out of hand, as they have over the past few weeks, It leaves you with two choices: 1. Do not moderate at all; or 2. Moderate rigorously as was done today. It's true that some people left today, but they left on their own accord. No one forced them to leave, they choose not to follow the rules here.

My only suggestions are to keep up the dialogue that you've opened today and perhaps make people wait 48-72 hours before their posting privileges become active after making a new account. A lot of sites use that strategy to encourage new members to read the rules, research commonly asked questions, and get a feel for the community.

Whatever your team decides in the end, I will support. Thanks again for the great site!

Ireshgurl

Eventually when y'all ain't so busy wrangling us in, I would love it when you quote someone, it shows WHO you are quoting, not just what they are saying. Also maybe a way to see if you have the same friends with someone you're thinking about adding? It would make the decision a lot easier (for me atleast) if I knew we could possibly be of like minds in certain areas, because not everyone fills out their profile. Oh, and last (I promise!!!).... how do I explain this.... When I'm reading a thread and I read a response from someone and like their response and want to friend them, I go to their page, request them, then have to navigate my way BACK to said thread to finish reading. Maybe we can find an easier way to get back to said thread?? Thanks for alllll the hard work you and all the other mods do for us!!! It IS greatly appreciated.

cm2two

I'm the creator of MyFitnessPal. I'm the one that has been moderating a lot of the topics today. I think there have been a lot of misperceptions

"misperceptions"? Is that a word?

yes.

Mike

Moderating cannot be an easy task. Thank you and to the others who volunteer their time to do this. Groups for like minded people will be good, if you are able to achieve that. I think it's honorable that you've taken some blame, but don't take all of the blame. There are people intentionally sabotaging discussions. I suspect that the trolls will always try to "take over" topics; that's the part they enjoy most. I also think it's great that you've refrained from banning anyone. However, that may be what needs to happen if all of your attempts to keep this site positive supportive fail because of a few. Thank you for the site and for all you do. I realize it's free, but I would pay to stay on here for all of the positive features of it.

I agree that trolling has been a problem lately. We're planning on making a rule that will specifically disallow people from hijacking topics and taking them off-topic if we think it's intentional or malicious.

PJilly

Hey Mike,

First, thankyou for the site, and thankyou mods for giving up their time. This site is an incredible tool that's helping to change many people's lives.

I appreciate that you try to keep non-controversial topics off the agenda, such as politics, because of the flaming that comes from it, and I appreciate that the groups option will be coming soon so that a wider range of topics can be discussed by those who wish to.
The thing that I do still take issue with, however, is:

In the main forums, the rules are designed to try to keep content and posts in a range where we think almost everyone will be comfortable. This way, the forums can help the most people possible

^ with regards to the blanket ban on talk of sexuality. By banning talk of LGBTQ people so that others can feel 'comfortable' is, purposefully or not, active discrimination. I do appreciate your reasoning behind the rule, honestly I do - no one likes to be bullied because of their sexual identity, and I know it makes the mods' lives easier. However, by banning open talk of LGBTQ in order to make some people feel more 'comfortable' is bowing down to homophobia and punishing the wrong group of people.

As I said, I understand your reasoning, but I really think that this rule is the wrong way to go about things.

(Sorry I'm sounding like a broken record lately, it just gets my goat)

Anywho, keep up the rest of the good work.

So I just want to be clear on this - we 100% want to ensure that LGBTQ members can find ALL of the support they need on MFP.

Also to be clear - we 100% want to ensure that Christians and other religions can find ALL of the support they need on MFP.

We actually very much want to eliminate this rule entirely. In fact, we used to not have this rule at all. But when we didn't have the rule in place, unfortunately, these types of topics would ALWAYS attract a troll who would start posting absolutely horrible remarks. We'd do our best to moderate them, but because we didn't have a lot of resources available, there would be a lot of times where we wouldn't be able to moderate the topic until it was too late. Feelings would already be hurt, and viscious insults would be thrown. By the time we were notified of the topic, we'd just have to delete it because it had become so full of inappropriate posts. We simply didnt have enough mods so that someone could step in early enough to prevent this from happening.

Now, Groups will definitely help. They will be specifically designed to accomodate groups like an LGBTQ support group, and our hope is that because they will be self-moderated, the groups will have enough resources to ensure that any bad behavior is dealt with promptly. But after Groups are available, we'd also like to be able to eliminate this rule on the main forums. We're trying to find ways to do that so that we can allow those topics to be discussed while still ensuring that members won't be harassed and that mods won't be overworked.

I don't have all the answers yet, but that's definitely our goal and what we're working towards. After groups are available, feel free to PM me and let me know if they meet your needs.

I am so glad to read your response to this issue, Mike, because I very much agree with the above quote "However, by banning open talk of LGBTQ in order to make some people feel more 'comfortable' is bowing down to homophobia and punishing the wrong group of people." Thank you.

kapeluza

You know, I requested something but while I'm feeling a little needy, I've worked the urge to ask!

Can you please make an advanced search button?

I would like to request that there be an "advance search" feature to the search button. Maybe something that allows a user to search for specific topics or keywords within a range of dates.

Sometimes when I am searching for something and I input the keyword I get 10+ pages of threads and threads and takes me forever to look for a specific topic or thread I am looking for!

Charice

I'm so impressed with your explanation and your forthrightness. I wasn't aware there were issues going on, I just haven't come across this, which leads me to think that the "problems" you are talking about are probably a small minority of the users on this site. By and large, I have seen the best support network ever. Thank you for your work, your vision, and your generosity in sharing with all of us. I have found more motivation and success with MFP than anything else I have tried in 20 years! You deserve credit and respect from all of us that use your service. THANK YOU!

bry_all01

Thanks for all you do! I have been very successful with my wightloss since finding MFP. First I just used it as an app on my phone and then I found the online forums.......and made friends, and I don't think that I would be as successful without the support network I have formed.

That being said...yes, I have seen some things on the boards that have been in bad taste - I have seen some stuff that has broken the rules and tested the rules - you know what I do???? I leave the topic.

In the chit/chat and fun forum, I know there is usually going to be something considered to some as "bad taste" I enter at my own risk.

I just think that there are some people that need to grow up around here and quit clicking "report post" to make them feel like they have power or something.

If you don't like it, move on.

You know, I hear a lot about this - if you don't like it, don't click on it. But I absolutely don't agree with that statement, and I think that's an unfair request to make of someone. We all have topics we are uncomfortable with. You have your boundaries too. And if more and more topics started becoming topics you didn't like, it wouldn't be enough to just not click on them - you'd leave.

We don't want to be a site where majority rules. We want everyone to feel comfortable, not just the majority.

Now groups will definitely help, as you can find like-minded people to group with and chat about virtually whatever you'd like. But on the main forums, we're not going to tell people that if they don't like it, don't click on it. The focus of MyFitnessPal is to help people be healthy, and we want to make sure that the forums assist in that however possible.

but what about the people who purposefully "follow" us into posts just to get our goat and then report?

supertracylynn

Hey, just an idea. How about making one of those pages that you have to read with the rules and then CLICK that you agree? Most sites do this and then you can be more assured folks KNOW there are rules.

Definitely agree that the rules have to be more visible. Your suggestion is a good one. I'm not sure yet exactly what we'll do, but we'll definitely keep your idea in mind.

No matter what, though, the rules definitely need to be more obvious, and we need to better explain why the rules exist and what their purpose is. We'll work on that.

Perhaps make the rules less long, after all, rules don't get read because they're too lengthy. In fact, I think I read 3 paragraphs of what you wrote up there then skipped around in the rest,
Something simple like "no forms of cyber sex on the forums, not everyone is comfortable with that.". or "no creepy stalker-like antics, there are laws against stalking for a reason".

Also, I adore the idea of groups!!

1Prettypain

you Mike, i do love this site, and i think you have a good thing here, i dont blame you or the mederators...i just feel we should all be respectful adults and realize that we all have different opinions on things and except people for who they are, or what are we teaching our kids??

THANK YOU for this great site and the greater friends i have made and who i support, and in return get support from in my fitness adventure......

killagb

Moderating cannot be an easy task. Thank you and to the others who volunteer their time to do this. Groups for like minded people will be good, if you are able to achieve that. I think it's honorable that you've taken some blame, but don't take all of the blame. There are people intentionally sabotaging discussions. I suspect that the trolls will always try to "take over" topics; that's the part they enjoy most. I also think it's great that you've refrained from banning anyone. However, that may be what needs to happen if all of your attempts to keep this site positive supportive fail because of a few. Thank you for the site and for all you do. I realize it's free, but I would pay to stay on here for all of the positive features of it.

I agree that trolling has been a problem lately. We're planning on making a rule that will specifically disallow people from hijacking topics and taking them off-topic if we think it's intentional or malicious.

Sort of like...

I like the Wizard of Oz.