OK, let's talk

CeejayGee

I'd love a better "find members" function. Maybe the ability to narrow it down to a 5 mile radius? Or to search by keyword (i.e. find others who identify as a certain religion or sexuality)

Christina269

I see a lot of people gettin' bullied on the boards. I generally stay away from them - most of the time.
I'd like to see groups added.... A group(s) for serious questions looking for serious answers would be great )
I use the Search function frequently... I'm sure that'll stay, right??

TDGee

OK folks, I have to step out for a bit. But I will try to be back on later tonight to answer any additional questions that arise.

While I am away, please try to be respectful to one another. I've already seen some posts on here where temperatures started to rise. If you feel yourself getting angry, step back from the keyboard and walk away for a bit. I'm trying as hard as I can to leave this discussion as open as possible, so please help me out by making sure to be respectful to one another, even if you disagree. Be polite, and try to calm things down, not stir them up. I'll be happy to answer or respond to anything as long as it's expressed in civil and productive manner.

Be back soon...

You might want to make some coffee or take some Nuvigil Mike, I believe this will take awhile.
Great job on everything you guys are doing, I really appreciate your hard work and efforts. It's been life changing for me as well as others. Also, thanks for opening the lines of communication, I suggest you make an effort to make this an ongoing feature. It will help keep things moving smoothly.

42hockeymom

If I'm being redundant on some of this, I'm sorry. I didn't take time to read everyones post and usually I do. However, I'm trying to get about 20 quarts of spaghetti sauce so that a) we can have some supper tonight, and b) I can start canning tomorrow. So, I'm playing the busy mommy card.


I'd come to this site regardless of the forums. I am finding the best success ever, and trust me I've done a lot of other stuff. This just seems to be the easiest.

Yeah, I'm an adult and yeah I have an adult child. I know for a fact that I have people on my friends list that are almost the same age as my daughter as well as younger. No biggy.

I like coming to chit-chat. It's a place to get a little goofy, and let off a little steam, and trust me, I've had a lot of stress going this past couple of weeks. It may be that I have a really dark and sick sense of humor that I just see adults being goofy, but if I had ever seen something that offended me, first I'd MAKE SURE that it wasn't something that was illegal, and if it wasn't I'd move on, if it was, well then, I'd do something about it. I'm a firm believer of free speech my father did not almost dye escaping from a Communist Country so he could live in the US and raise a family American just for someone to decide what I as AN ADULT should see and not see. Now if this was something that my child was involved in, that'd be a totally different story, but we're talking about me, not my children. And yes, I do monitor what my child does and sees on the internet, on tv, reads, and listens too. I do so with an open mind and not that my youngest child is 14 we discuss why some of the stuff she seems to like might not be appropriate for other people. I do have veto power and she respects that. BUT SHE IS A CHILD. I don't need someone deciding these things for me.

I'm getting tired of the US vs. THEM. I've seen some pretty stupid stuff said here, I've seen very knowlegable people leave who made this site interesting. And I've seen a particular person try to instigate when really, there didn't need to be any instigation. I got a creepy PM from someone who I've never met or spoken to. No, I didn't report that person, there was no threatening going on, it was just creepy in MY OPINION, so I blocked that particular person. I truly get along with just about everyone. I won't stand for bashing of religions, races, or sexual preferences. But I also don't have to be your best friend. Heck I don't have to like you. But I will be civil towards you. There's the whole treat others as you'd like to be treated.

I like being silly, I like joking around. I like letting off a little steam. Hell if you want to call this my little fantasy land then so be it. I'm gonna be queen though! (No offenses to Queen_Christine) And I'd be willing to bet money I do not have that there are people here who are doing the same as me. Sometimes being silly in a forum literally takes my mind off of being hungry and wanting to snack. And that's a good thing for me! So let's just all step back, take a deep breath and remember we're grown ups, some of us are just acting like kids!

godblessourhome

Just for the record, for 95% of the deletions that occurred recently, there was no "tattle-tale". I think people assume that if a topic gets deleted, it was reported. Sometimes, that's true, and if you see something inappropriate happening on the site, you DEFINITELY should file a report so you can call it to our attention. But at least recently, almost all of the actions taken were done by me, without any reports being filed. I simply read the forums often and deleted the topics I felt were inappropriate or otherwise violated our rules.

And I don't like the notion that if someone reports a topic, they are a "tattle-tale". We need people to help us ensure the site retains the environment we want. It's impossible for us to read every post on the site, so we rely on people to help us. No one should be ashamed for doing that. By reporting posts, you're helping MyFitnessPal, and you're helping your other members by keeping the site the way it should be.

One last note: if you report a post, that doesn't mean we'll automatically do something about it. We read the report and make sure it actually violates a rule before we take any action. So even if there were someone who reported too many things, that doesn't mean there would actually be any impact to the site. We'd just dismiss the reports as invalid.

i wish this could be stickied somewhere.

kennethmgreen

Mike wrote in a reply post:

We definitely would like to notify people as much as possible. But as you probably know, the boards are incredibly busy. Sometimes, there is only one moderator online, and there are 50 abuse reports to look at. That's fairly common.

We need to get more moderators on board, and we're working on that.
...

I'm concerned that the problem-solving described here may be a little myopic, and is potentially supporting another problem that isn't always looked at carefully. What if there were 500 abuse reports in your example? At some point you have to consider the possibility that the abuse reports are themselves getting abused.

Do you guys track users who are the reporters? If you have one or two users who represent a disproportionate amount of the reporting, could it be that maybe they are too sensitive for the Internet? Is it possible they have an agenda? Could they be targeting specific people? Do you issue warnings to users who report N# of threads but those threads *don't* warrant deletion? If not, why not?

I know it's easy to blame the "trolls" for being "mean" and disruptive. But we have to take responsibility for being adults. I'm not condoning overt sexual comments or clearly political agendas or personally attacking someone. Those are against the rules. It's pretty clear. But I've seen people get offended at things that wouldn't make an elementary schoolteacher raise an eyebrow. And though it's been said many times before, it bears repeating: disagreement does not equal harassment or abuse or even being rude. Not everyone understands this.

I won't pretend what you and the mods are doing is an easy job. But I hope that you remember it cuts both ways. Just as constant rule-breakers and rule-testers can negatively impact the well-being of the community, overzealous rule/agenda crusaders can negatively impact a community as well.

Thanks for keeping the discussion open.

corpus_validum

1st, luv the site Mike. Mad props to you.

Suggestion: since most of the drama is centered around the "Chit-chat, fun and games" forum, why not just exclude such threads when someone clicks on "recent posts"?

If someone would like to stay current on the community message board topics without entering a potentially "hot" topic, where they might get offended, or worse, become offensive, they don't have to if such topics didn't automatically list under "recent posts." That way, someone would have to go directly into that forum and see the varying "Chit-chat" topics purposely.

123456654321

If you have one or two users who represent a disproportionate amount of the reporting, could it be that maybe they are too sensitive for the Internet?

^ ^

gandydancer

I also agree, am so glad their are moderators as people always push the envelope and I believe the majority of people are concerned with their weight and trying to eat healthier and help each other...there are always bored people looking for things that aren't in everyones best interest, keep up the good work, thank you for allowing us on here at all.

rebecky27

Thank you, Mike! This truly is a fantastic resource and tool for making the lifestyle Change I and so many others need. You have obviously put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into this site and continue to do so.

Groups - fantastic idea! I have seen this work successfully on another forum I'm on.

Ignore/block - another tool that works well on other forums I use.

Someone mentioned a live chat box...think that will be a huge drain on your server and slow the whole site down....but if you could find a way around that, it could be cool.

Is there a way that single posts in a thread can be removed? Rather than shutting down a whole thread....maybe a "remove post" bottom that only mods/admins can see. Part of the removing post process could have a drop down or dialog box for an explaination to why it's being removed. This may be labor intensive tho....but when you get more mods, it wouldn't be so bad.

Maybe have mods be in charge of certain sections?

Anywhoo, thanks again for all you and your staff do!

NancyAnne1960

I use the site for its intended purpose tracking calories and exercise. It's absolutely great for that.

The forums, unfortunately, become a gray area between variant forms of internet communication. The use of personal groups may ease the tension between those who want to post serious questions and responses, and those who like the entertainment aspect of said internet communication.


Like this!

jetscreaminagain

Mike its not going on a limb to say you lost one of your best members today. In your place I might email him what you started this thread with and ask him to come back. He did good for this site and then started getting attacks.

Then in the past couple days people are getting their posts deleted wily nily. Literally a friend replied to my topic with smiley faces. Just that. And it was deleted. Really?

That wears people out. Especially when others' fan clubs go after you for suggesting using some reason and safety or another is so Stepford-wife about everyone getting along and being friends but she can suggest to people who disagree with her that "stop drop and roll doesn't work in hell'

Really? The hypocrasy is pretty hard to take. And its worse when you see your friends, who have been patient and kind and informative get tired and leave. Worse is when people suggest they left because they didn't want to follow the rules rather than the truth of disproportionate application of the rules in a rigid censoring and nonsensical manner.

I'm hoping it will settle down and get back to normal, but normal will be lesser because of what you've lost.

curvygirl512

Hey, just an idea. How about making one of those pages that you have to read with the rules and then CLICK that you agree? Most sites do this and then you can be more assured folks KNOW there are rules.

It's a good idea. Most people still won't read them, but at least then they won't have an excuse.

Totally Agree. And thanks for helping me to find a support group for my weight loss goals.

Jade_Butterfly

I just want to point out that forum craziness always happens during a full moon.

Seriously. I've been running my dating forum for 12 years, and every full moon, there's a bongwater spill on aisle 12. :laugh:

"You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself" is the best line from any song ever. You'll never make everyone happy. Set guidelines that you're comfortable with, and let the pieces fall into place. You'll lose just as many people who get offended by what's said as you'll lose those who are offended by what can't be said.

The majority of folks are able to get along, despite differing opinions and beliefs. Those who can't or won't get long really need to step away from the computer a bit more. I've met a lot of fantastic people on MFP, and had fantastic results from using the site. I'm sure as heck not going to let some uptight [insert word of choice here] ruin MY enjoyment of the site, and storm off in a princess foot-stomping fit.

I saw a lot of folks throw around "freedom of speech." That applies to government, not to privately owned websites. The government can't stop you from telling someone on the pregnant pee diet they're an idiot, but Mike can. And since it's his site, he gets to make the rules.

I like to compare my forum to a party at my house. Everyone is welcome, and I hope they all have a great time. The mods are the really good friends who bring some booze or a side dish, or stay late to help me clean up. Mingle, flirt, become friends, whatever. I've even had several folks meet on my site and get married! But sometimes you get someone who tries to get the dog drunk, or pees in my potted plants, or insults the other party guests... and that's not cool.

So we're all guests here at Mike's house. He's doing a LOT for us, and all he asks is we respect a few simple guidelines. No biggie.

If you don't like it, you can get your money back.

This is an exellent analogy and so right at the heart of the matter. . . Thanks for your contribution to this discussion!

rbryntes

I'm wondering if, when looking at ideas of running the forums/fora, you might want to look at similar topical social networking types of sites? The one that comes to mine is Ravelry - I use it a LOT as someone who knits and crochets. There were growing pains there and the 2008 US presidential election was...interesting, but they worked out arrangements that suited everyone. You may want to talk to Casey about how he handled things there.

Just a thought.

Jade_Butterfly

I'm wondering if, when looking at ideas of running the forums/fora, you might want to look at similar topical social networking types of sites? The one that comes to mine is Ravelry - I use it a LOT as someone who knits and crochets. There were growing pains there and the 2008 US presidential election was...interesting, but they worked out arrangements that suited everyone. You may want to talk to Casey about how he handled things there.

Just a thought.

Ravelry is amazing. . As a jeweler, knitter, crocheter, I use such sites as well. . I love the etsy community as well. . .

ThePhoenixRose

I feel like, in addition to the topics like chit-chat, weight loss, motivation, etc., you should add "Dear Mike, ..." This way, people who would like to get in touch with you can easily do so.

Just a thought!

sarah44254

Mike said:

With Groups, MFP members will be able to invite members to form a Group, and each group will have it's own message board.

Hi Mike & friends, thank you for this website. It has made learning about and practicing proper nutrition and healthy habits such an easy and fun part of my life. I have been using this site for nearly a year, and have fallen in love with not only the easy to use features, but the plethora of friends I have made here. I have even visited a couple in 'real life' that I would not have met if not for the forums here.

I am quite interested in the Groups function. I am wondering though, how it will work as invitation only. Many of the best forum threads I have found here simply because I was clicking around and wanted to read about a title I saw pop up. If I do not see the title, I do not get intrigued and go see what it is. If I don't see the title, how will I know to ask for an invite to their discussion?

While the Groups function sounds like it will solve a large problem, it will create a small one for me (or other users like me). It will be hard for me to find new support and new ideas if I need to be invited to each new thought. I do not have a way to improve your idea of Groups, I have only identified a small problem for me. Perhaps there is a way to view the titles, then request an invitation? That way, you don't have to read them if you prefer not to, but you can still come in and see what's new by requesting to.

Thanks again for a great and easy to use site. I still remember in the first month after using, my boyfriend asked me 'You've lost 15 lbs, what do you think about the whole weight loss process?' and my reply was "I never thought it would be this easy" :happy:

(P.S. for some reason I can't add my new address, therefore cannot use the member search function to see if there are any members close to my new home. I get an error claiming my zip code does not exist. Rest assured, it does exist. Just wanted to add that in while you all were reading. Feel free to stuff it to the bottom of your to-do list!)

MelissaE27

Thank you for posting this.. I think so many forget what this site is actually about fitness, weight loss and SUPPORT>.. I tend to stay to myself and I don't post to much on the forums because its true I have seen so many people attacked for silly things.. everyone has a opinion and yes you are entitled to it but why stir up trouble??

The thing that got me the most is someone very close to me has a learning disability and came here to lose weight and get support she goes to the forum and sees someone jumping all over someone for their misspellings. actually making fun of that person.... well then she was terrified to post anything and she never comes on here anymore... so what if people don't post to your standards have you ever thought about maybe they have a disability ??




.. stop judging and START SUPPORTING! and have fun doing it :flowerforyou:

Becca_007

back to read later..:flowerforyou:

raevynn

bookmarked for later...

muth3rluvx2

I have to bump this anyway - my apologies if this a repeat suggestion, Mike - alot to get through to find out.

Alot of forums I've moderated on, owned, originated had monthly reminders of the rules. They worked best if they were brief, but there were auto-generated reminders on x-day of every month to every participant. I don't know if technically, that's an option for you - perhaps look at google group and yahoo groups for ideas?

And maybe, have a section of 21+ groups; as some people do like to get a little more 'vulger' with their language and insinuations - but all in fun. This way, there's less risk of "accidental encounters" by those that might not want it. From there, sub-groups could be created. Let's say there was going to be a group that chose to do Frisky Friday (I'm making things up) where they wanted to post maybe some racey photos - yet still within the confines of progress - something like that would go in the 21+ or "Adult" venue and the group would actually BE "Frisky Friday Friends" or what have you?

I think your initiation of this post will help move things along nicely and if there's already all the primary groups set up, would it be difficult to go ahead and just add an "adults only" forum until the sub-group idea can actually be implemented? I think that would REALLY help in keeping some of the silliness down and keep like-minded folks in places where each subset is most comfortable.

Just some thoughts. I've generally stopped posting in the forums for all the same reasons you've mentioned. I believe adults should have the freedom to RESPECTFULLY state their thoughts and opinions and others should have the right to RESPECTFULLY disagree and that should be allowed (IMHO) - but when topics hit emotional nerves, that can be difficult so.. I've been avoiding it and have gotten to the point of having only a handful of folks on my friends list and only just barely touch base these days. I miss alot of people but some of the meanness just got to be too much to even bother; and that has to do with emotional reactions.

SabrinaJL

I'm wondering if, when looking at ideas of running the forums/fora, you might want to look at similar topical social networking types of sites? The one that comes to mine is Ravelry - I use it a LOT as someone who knits and crochets. There were growing pains there and the 2008 US presidential election was...interesting, but they worked out arrangements that suited everyone. You may want to talk to Casey about how he handled things there.

Just a thought.

lol I can't tell you how many times I've wished this place was more like the Ravelry boards. Have you joined the My Fitness Pal Ravelry group?

_beachgirl_

Mike-
Like everyone else, thank you for this site!
I really appreciate this thread and the opportunity for everyone to discuss the issues.

I think groups are a great idea but until then maybe we can add sub-topics under the chit-chat section like sex, religion, gay/lesbian, etc. This way the more controversial subjects would be out of the main forum and members would have a better idea of what type of thread they are clicking on. If a thread is posted in the main forum and a mod feels it is inappropriate it can be moved into a more specific sub-topic.

Then if a member does not want to read about sexual or religious threads they don't have to click on that topic. If they do and are offended by the subject matter...too bad!

Iamfit4life

I feel like, in addition to the topics like chit-chat, weight loss, motivation, etc., you should add "Dear Mike, ..." This way, people who would like to get in touch with you can easily do so.

Just a thought!

This is a really great idea I think

jellyfishjen

And there you were just trying to help people get healthy. Thank you Mike.

This site has been my strength, no longer on meds for diabeties, Still obese but oh so close to having a "I'm overweight Party." Until today I was not aware of any problems on the site/forums. I must be lucky with the friends/support I have on this site.
Have not read all the replys,whoa way too many, and maybe mine may not be read, but it is good for the soul to express my gratitude to you for having developed this site.
The few replys I have read I agree with, eg. if you can't say anything nice say nothing at all. And if we could all just respect each other. Probably the ones I don't agree with I just ignore and move on. As in life.

I am here to get healthy and to offer my friendship and support to others on the same journey.

Iceskatefanrn

Mike and the Mods - no new suggestions here, I did take the time to read through this entire thread and I have nothing to add. But I wanted to take a second to just give you a moment of gratitude. I'm a 17 Day Diet follower and on our "thread" we've developed quite a little family of Losers! We've become a nice group of friends who help support each other on our chosen plan for Weight Loss - I'd hate to lose that!

Take care, Mike & the Mods - Drink some water or green tea, and get some rest tonight, we'll all still be here in the morning!

:drinker:

Ice

nerdyandilikeit

I think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.

You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.

Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikini
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups

I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served

^^^I agree with all of that.

Thanks so much for the site, Mike, and for doing your best to moderate. This place has become very important to me over the last 7 months or so. I love how it has helped me and all of the great people in my friends list. However, I think you and your mods have taken a very heavy hand in censoring things as of late. In your efforts to keep the site from changing, it is changing drastically in a different direction. I've lost great supportive and successful friends. People who meant a lot to me in my journey here. The fact of the matter is that we are all supposed to be adults here. Yes, sometimes adults are flirty and vulgar, but as long as that is kept in the chit-chat forum I don't see how anyone should be complaining about it. We have a choice to click or not click on a topic. We even have a choice to avoid the forums all together. No one is being forced to read offensive material. I think some people miss their days as high school hall monitor and want the other "kids" to stop having fun. As long as no one is being personally harassed abused, or stalked I think things should just be left alone. If someone does something that truly deserves moderating, warn them and delete that particular post. Unless the entire thread is just a train-wreck of truly offensive material, there is no need to delete the entire thread. You had said something earlier about how you want to make this a place where everyone can be comfortable all of the time. Well, it's just not possible to please everyone. Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's a rough place, people. Put on your helmet and buckle up or turn off your computer and go watch Jay Leno.

I completely disagree! DON'T watch Jay Leno ;P

Cherilea

I just want to thank you for this amazing site!!! It has been beneficial to my weight loss and I hope MFP is around for a long time to come! Thanks for all you, and the volunteers, do!!

aegira

Just wanted to say a huge, big, massive thank you to yourself and all the moderators :drinker:
This site is awesome and friendly and best of all I've lost 32kg (71lbs) since starting here, which I did originally from curiosity.
I know some people just have to spoil other peoples fun and that is their choice, karma will bite them eventually.

Keep doing what your doing Mike because we appreciate it so much and truly enjoy being here :flowerforyou: