OK, let's talk
Replies
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Well, I don't know why I am posting here, I love MFP, I do, it and the many FRIENDS I have made here have helped me lose the 60 lbs I have lost. I do hate the drama. I know I should refrain from commenting on here, cause I know I have stirred up my fair share of controversey in the forumns, as Mike and I have had conversations through PM on what the rules state.
However, I do disagree about some things. This just isn't a weightloss sight, it is a SOCIAL weightloss NETWORKING site. Why are those words capitalized, because that is how I feel. People flock to this site (Btw Mike, thanks for making it free, I may have never used it and had my sucesses had it cost money) to find LIKE-MINDED people struggling with the same problems they are suffering with, so it does become social and a network. I live in TX but I think I have friends all over the US, and across the pond too! Ones that are going through the same issues with weightloss. Sure, some of the threads can get out of hand.
But those threads aren't usually posted in the serious sections, they are in the Chit-chat and fun. However, I am not going to stir the pot and whatever.
Mike--I do agree the groups is a great idea, you discussed this with me months ago via PM, when I became a rules "offender", so I hope that they do become a reality, that would be awesome. Until then, most likely this will be my last thread post.
Thanks for a great Free site.0 -
Just want to say THANKS for all your hard work and for creating this site!!
A few thoughts:
-Perhaps a FAQ page that is also in the PM
I highly endorse a FAQ page. I feel that answers to common questions for new members would cut back on redundant threads that are so often the target for derailment (e.g. HCG, TOM, exercise calories, 30DS etc)
I benefit from the site and appreciate it. I do wish you had handled this problem this way from the start though. These last few days I have lost valuable members of my support system. Keep up the good work and thanks for keeping it Free :flowerforyou:0 -
I use the site for its intended purpose tracking calories and exercise. It's absolutely great for that.
The forums, unfortunately, become a gray area between variant forms of internet communication. The use of personal groups may ease the tension between those who want to post serious questions and responses, and those who like the entertainment aspect of said internet communication. I also feel that it may be helpful to provide a list of current [official] moderators for those who wish to contact them, with forum concerns or questions, and/or personal offenses without the possibility of resolution, that should be made available.0 -
Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikiniI think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.
You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups
^^^I agree with all of that.I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served
Thanks so much for the site, Mike, and for doing your best to moderate. This place has become very important to me over the last 7 months or so. I love how it has helped me and all of the great people in my friends list. However, I think you and your mods have taken a very heavy hand in censoring things as of late. In your efforts to keep the site from changing, it is changing drastically in a different direction. I've lost great supportive and successful friends. People who meant a lot to me in my journey here. The fact of the matter is that we are all supposed to be adults here. Yes, sometimes adults are flirty and vulgar, but as long as that is kept in the chit-chat forum I don't see how anyone should be complaining about it. We have a choice to click or not click on a topic. We even have a choice to avoid the forums all together. No one is being forced to read offensive material. I think some people miss their days as high school hall monitor and want the other "kids" to stop having fun. As long as no one is being personally harassed abused, or stalked I think things should just be left alone. If someone does something that truly deserves moderating, warn them and delete that particular post. Unless the entire thread is just a train-wreck of truly offensive material, there is no need to delete the entire thread. You had said something earlier about how you want to make this a place where everyone can be comfortable all of the time. Well, it's just not possible to please everyone. Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's a rough place, people. Put on your helmet and buckle up or turn off your computer and go watch Jay Leno.
In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.0 -
That's a great theory. Unfortunately, life isn't a Disney movie. I don't think people should be unnecessarily cruel to one another, but let's keep it real.I think some of us Adults need to be reminded of things we should have learned as a child... lets start with Thumper shall we?
Just saying... drama can usually be avoided by being respectful to one another, it doesn't mean you can't have an opinion.0 -
Thanks for all you do! I have been very successful with my wightloss since finding MFP. First I just used it as an app on my phone and then I found the online forums.......and made friends, and I don't think that I would be as successful without the support network I have formed.
That being said...yes, I have seen some things on the boards that have been in bad taste - I have seen some stuff that has broken the rules and tested the rules - you know what I do???? I leave the topic.
In the chit/chat and fun forum, I know there is usually going to be something considered to some as "bad taste" I enter at my own risk.
I just think that there are some people that need to grow up around here and quit clicking "report post" to make them feel like they have power or something.
If you don't like it, move on.
You know, I hear a lot about this - if you don't like it, don't click on it. But I absolutely don't agree with that statement, and I think that's an unfair request to make of someone. We all have topics we are uncomfortable with. You have your boundaries too. And if more and more topics started becoming topics you didn't like, it wouldn't be enough to just not click on them - you'd leave.
We don't want to be a site where majority rules. We want everyone to feel comfortable, not just the majority.
Now groups will definitely help, as you can find like-minded people to group with and chat about virtually whatever you'd like. But on the main forums, we're not going to tell people that if they don't like it, don't click on it. The focus of MyFitnessPal is to help people be healthy, and we want to make sure that the forums assist in that however possible.
I guess we can just disagree there......no biggie. What I was trying to say - more or less is that there are some people around here that follow others around trying to get them in trouble. I'm pretty quiet on the boards, not meaning that I don't read them - but I either don't like the topic (leave) or I have nothing to contribute.....when someone jumps into the middle of a fun/lighthearted thread - calling people sinners....or PM'ing them calling them sluts - or jumps on a thread where everyone is having fun and calls them all teenager 16 year olds - because they don't like the subject. Just seems they have the choice to click on the topic or not - instead of getting involved.
Either way, I love the site and I thank you for all your hard work.0 -
Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikiniI think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.
You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups
^^^I agree with all of that.I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served
Thanks so much for the site, Mike, and for doing your best to moderate. This place has become very important to me over the last 7 months or so. I love how it has helped me and all of the great people in my friends list. However, I think you and your mods have taken a very heavy hand in censoring things as of late. In your efforts to keep the site from changing, it is changing drastically in a different direction. I've lost great supportive and successful friends. People who meant a lot to me in my journey here. The fact of the matter is that we are all supposed to be adults here. Yes, sometimes adults are flirty and vulgar, but as long as that is kept in the chit-chat forum I don't see how anyone should be complaining about it. We have a choice to click or not click on a topic. We even have a choice to avoid the forums all together. No one is being forced to read offensive material. I think some people miss their days as high school hall monitor and want the other "kids" to stop having fun. As long as no one is being personally harassed abused, or stalked I think things should just be left alone. If someone does something that truly deserves moderating, warn them and delete that particular post. Unless the entire thread is just a train-wreck of truly offensive material, there is no need to delete the entire thread. You had said something earlier about how you want to make this a place where everyone can be comfortable all of the time. Well, it's just not possible to please everyone. Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's a rough place, people. Put on your helmet and buckle up or turn off your computer and go watch Jay Leno.
In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.
I am not going to derail this but perhaps part of the problems arise by this very thing,you have said you want a positive post but laced it with judgmental innuendo with frequent references to "kids" as if there are those here beneath you.
I only bring this up because maybe you are not actually realizing you might be a part of the problem and a thoughtful look inside could be helpful.
Will leave it there,no desire for a flame war on this thread. :flowerforyou:0 -
I, too, would like to say thank you for this site, as well as your sentiments regarding the recent happenings on the Forums. I look forward to the implementation of Groups.0
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Well, I don't know why I am posting here, I love MFP, I do, it and the many FRIENDS I have made here have helped me lose the 60 lbs I have lost. I do hate the drama. I know I should refrain from commenting on here, cause I know I have stirred up my fair share of controversey in the forumns, as Mike and I have had conversations through PM on what the rules state.
However, I do disagree about some things. This just isn't a weightloss sight, it is a SOCIAL weightloss NETWORKING site. Why are those words capitalized, because that is how I feel. People flock to this site (Btw Mike, thanks for making it free, I may have never used it and had my sucesses had it cost money) to find LIKE-MINDED people struggling with the same problems they are suffering with, so it does become social and a network. I live in TX but I think I have friends all over the US, and across the pond too! Ones that are going through the same issues with weightloss. Sure, some of the threads can get out of hand.
But those threads aren't usually posted in the serious sections, they are in the Chit-chat and fun. However, I am not going to stir the pot and whatever.
Mike--I do agree the groups is a great idea, you discussed this with me months ago via PM, when I became a rules "offender", so I hope that they do become a reality, that would be awesome. Until then, most likely this will be my last thread post.
Thanks for a great Free site.
Oops- I forgot to add my thoughts!
I think the above is a very good post.
I also think I just need to follow my own advice and stay off the threads and message boards completely. As far as wisdom, advice and knowledge, I have a library card and I use it. I buy bodybuilding magazines. Books offer a plethora of knowledge, and I know how to read.
I agree that I also thought of this as a social fitness site. There are some very knowledgeable people on the boards who have actually done the work and perfected their bodies. (Which I wouldn't know without those scantily clad pictures.)
I'll use this site for logging. It is wonderful for that. But really, the threads are just a bunch of BS anyway, and to be restricted to the nth degree on what you say and how you say it, well, pfft. If I have any TOM questions, I'm sure there is a book about that also. I think I read it in fourth grade.0 -
In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.
I am not going to derail this but perhaps part of the problems arise by this very thing,you have said you want a positive post but laced it with judgmental innuendo with frequent references to "kids" as if there are those here beneath you.
I only bring this up because maybe you are not actually realizing you might be a part of the problem and a thoughtful look inside could be helpful.
Will leave it there,no desire for a flame war on this thread. :flowerforyou:
Well said, Carl.0 -
Hey Mike,
I first and foremost want to thank you for creating this site. It is a wonderful tool and is helping so many people. In the 3 months I've been using it I've already lost 25 pounds and learned so much amazing stuff to improve my health and therefore my life. The fact that you provide such a valuable service for free is wonderful and I can't tell you enough how much I appriciate it.
I think some modest changes like the groups is a great idea and will help with some of the issues. Like and Ignore buttons would be great too. I know there are so many of us that would be lost with out the great source of help you are providing.
Hopefully people will realize this is a source to help people and not hurt others. Unfortunetly to many people lose any sort of conscience or respect for others when they can simply hide behind a computer screen. There are a lot of people on here that joke and play and maybe press the limits a little in fun and that is one things but the deliberate bashing or following people on threads is ridiculous and spiteful. I hope you and your staff can decrease the issues so we can all get back to enjoying this wonderful site again.
Keep up the great work!!!0 -
Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikiniI think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.
You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups
^^^I agree with all of that.I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served
Thanks so much for the site, Mike, and for doing your best to moderate. This place has become very important to me over the last 7 months or so. I love how it has helped me and all of the great people in my friends list. However, I think you and your mods have taken a very heavy hand in censoring things as of late. In your efforts to keep the site from changing, it is changing drastically in a different direction. I've lost great supportive and successful friends. People who meant a lot to me in my journey here. The fact of the matter is that we are all supposed to be adults here. Yes, sometimes adults are flirty and vulgar, but as long as that is kept in the chit-chat forum I don't see how anyone should be complaining about it. We have a choice to click or not click on a topic. We even have a choice to avoid the forums all together. No one is being forced to read offensive material. I think some people miss their days as high school hall monitor and want the other "kids" to stop having fun. As long as no one is being personally harassed abused, or stalked I think things should just be left alone. If someone does something that truly deserves moderating, warn them and delete that particular post. Unless the entire thread is just a train-wreck of truly offensive material, there is no need to delete the entire thread. You had said something earlier about how you want to make this a place where everyone can be comfortable all of the time. Well, it's just not possible to please everyone. Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's a rough place, people. Put on your helmet and buckle up or turn off your computer and go watch Jay Leno.
In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.
I am not going to derail this but perhaps part of the problems arise by this very thing,you have said you want a positive post but laced it with judgmental innuendo with frequent references to "kids" as if there are those here beneath you.
I only bring this up because maybe you are not actually realizing you might be a part of the problem and a thoughtful look inside could be helpful.
Will leave it there,no desire for a flame war on this thread. :flowerforyou:
No, you misunderstood me. I was quoting "kids" because that's how the person above me referred to them. I wasn't referring to them as younger than myself or beneath me. I was merely using the term in the quote I was responding to.. Again, sorry if it came across that way.0 -
Thanks for clearing this up Mike.
I think I speak for a lot of members here that MFP and the friends we've made on this site has literally saved my life.
More power to you and MFP - keep up the good work.0 -
I have one suggestions.
when quoting others in a thread can the original poster of the quoted text be listed with the quote.
this would clear up a lot of misunderstanding of who said what.0 -
In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.
Now see, this is a perfect example of someone who will start a flame war. Your obvious use of disrespecful language by calling grown adults "kids" and putting it in quotes if very confrontational, regardless of who used it prior. You come off sounding condescending. This is the internet where millions of people interact, if not billions. Note that the tones you used in your post is one of the problems, not a solution.0 -
I love this site and totally appreciate what is done to keep it at no cost to us. I don't think making it paid would reduce anything - I think it would make it worse!! (I PAY to be here so I can say whatever the **** I want)
massive wholehearted agreement with this sentiment.
As always, MFP has changed my life and I adore you guys for being so generous and amazing. A million thanks isn't enough for all this site has brought to my life.0 -
I guess we can just disagree there......no biggie. What I was trying to say - more or less is that there are some people around here that follow others around trying to get them in trouble. I'm pretty quiet on the boards, not meaning that I don't read them - but I either don't like the topic (leave) or I have nothing to contribute.....when someone jumps into the middle of a fun/lighthearted thread - calling people sinners....or PM'ing them calling them sluts - or jumps on a thread where everyone is having fun and calls them all teenager 16 year olds - because they don't like the subject. Just seems they have the choice to click on the topic or not - instead of getting involved.
Either way, I love the site and I thank you for all your hard work.
SO I actually don't think we are disagreeing. If people are behaving in the way you describe, where they jump in and insult people by calling them sinners or sluts, that's not allowed. You should report it, and a moderator will take care of it. If they do it repeatedly, they will be suspended or banned.
If they feel your topic is inappropriate, they should report the post to a moderator. That's the only acceptable course of action. It is absolutely not OK for them to jump onto your topic and attack you.
What I was saying is that it seems like people think that they can post about anything they want, and all everyone else has to do is not click on it. But we don't think that's fair. People shouldn't be scared that they might run into content they are uncomfortable with. If they are, they just won't come at all. And again, that means they lose the support that we want to give them on the site to help them reach their goal.
If they take matters into their own hands, though, that is also not acceptable. Does that make sense?0 -
Thanks Mike0
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I guess we can just disagree there......no biggie. What I was trying to say - more or less is that there are some people around here that follow others around trying to get them in trouble. I'm pretty quiet on the boards, not meaning that I don't read them - but I either don't like the topic (leave) or I have nothing to contribute.....when someone jumps into the middle of a fun/lighthearted thread - calling people sinners....or PM'ing them calling them sluts - or jumps on a thread where everyone is having fun and calls them all teenager 16 year olds - because they don't like the subject. Just seems they have the choice to click on the topic or not - instead of getting involved.
Either way, I love the site and I thank you for all your hard work.
SO I actually don't think we are disagreeing. If people are behaving in the way you describe, where they jump in and insult people by calling them sinners or sluts, that's not allowed. You should report it, and a moderator will take care of it. If they do it repeatedly, they will be suspended or banned.
If they feel your topic is inappropriate, they should report the post to a moderator. That's the only acceptable course of action. It is absolutely not OK for them to jump onto your topic and attack you.
What I was saying is that it seems like people think that they can post about anything they want, and all everyone else has to do is not click on it. But we don't think that's fair. People shouldn't be scared that they might run into content they are uncomfortable with. If they are, they just won't come at all. And again, that means they lose the support that we want to give them on the site to help them reach their goal.
If they take matters into their own hands, though, that is also not acceptable. Does that make sense?
:flowerforyou:0 -
In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.
Now see, this is a perfect example of someone who will start a flame war. Your obvious use of disrespecful language by calling grown adults "kids" and putting it in quotes if very confrontational, regardless of who used it prior. You come off sounding condescending. This is the internet where millions of people interact, if not billions. Note that the tones you used in your post is one of the problems, not a solution.
^^this0 -
I guess we can just disagree there......no biggie. What I was trying to say - more or less is that there are some people around here that follow others around trying to get them in trouble. I'm pretty quiet on the boards, not meaning that I don't read them - but I either don't like the topic (leave) or I have nothing to contribute.....when someone jumps into the middle of a fun/lighthearted thread - calling people sinners....or PM'ing them calling them sluts - or jumps on a thread where everyone is having fun and calls them all teenager 16 year olds - because they don't like the subject. Just seems they have the choice to click on the topic or not - instead of getting involved.
Either way, I love the site and I thank you for all your hard work.
SO I actually don't think we are disagreeing. If people are behaving in the way you describe, where they jump in and insult people by calling them sinners or sluts, that's not allowed. You should report it, and a moderator will take care of it. If they do it repeatedly, they will be suspended or banned.
If they feel your topic is inappropriate, they should report the post to a moderator. That's the only acceptable course of action. It is absolutely not OK for them to jump onto your topic and attack you.
What I was saying is that it seems like people think that they can post about anything they want, and all everyone else has to do is not click on it. But we don't think that's fair. People shouldn't be scared that they might run into content they are uncomfortable with. If they are, they just won't come at all. And again, that means they lose the support that we want to give them on the site to help them reach their goal.
If they take matters into their own hands, though, that is also not acceptable. Does that make sense?
This has happened so many times. But, due to this thread, I reported this person.0 -
I just want to point out that forum craziness always happens during a full moon.
Seriously. I've been running my dating forum for 12 years, and every full moon, there's a bongwater spill on aisle 12. :laugh:
"You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself" is the best line from any song ever. You'll never make everyone happy. Set guidelines that you're comfortable with, and let the pieces fall into place. You'll lose just as many people who get offended by what's said as you'll lose those who are offended by what can't be said.
The majority of folks are able to get along, despite differing opinions and beliefs. Those who can't or won't get long really need to step away from the computer a bit more. I've met a lot of fantastic people on MFP, and had fantastic results from using the site. I'm sure as heck not going to let some uptight [insert word of choice here] ruin MY enjoyment of the site, and storm off in a princess foot-stomping fit.
I saw a lot of folks throw around "freedom of speech." That applies to government, not to privately owned websites. The government can't stop you from telling someone on the pregnant pee diet they're an idiot, but Mike can. And since it's his site, he gets to make the rules.
I like to compare my forum to a party at my house. Everyone is welcome, and I hope they all have a great time. The mods are the really good friends who bring some booze or a side dish, or stay late to help me clean up. Mingle, flirt, become friends, whatever. I've even had several folks meet on my site and get married! But sometimes you get someone who tries to get the dog drunk, or pees in my potted plants, or insults the other party guests... and that's not cool.
So we're all guests here at Mike's house. He's doing a LOT for us, and all he asks is we respect a few simple guidelines. No biggie.
If you don't like it, you can get your money back.
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Well said Mike! I am a married Christian woman with children. I am not here for drama and it is upsetting to see adults carry on the way they do. It is inappropiate and completely unnecessary.
Thank you for your hard work and dedication! This is a wonderful site! ~Elizabeth0 -
bump...to read later0
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I think that all of this is ridiculous. Users of the site have made mountains out of mouse turds and it is really sad. And the clique around them just keeps adding fuel to the fire.
The fact that this site wasn't like a bunch of teenage boys in a pissing contest is why I chose it over bodybuilding.com in the first place. There was always a hint of drama on the boards, but nothing that made me want to hulk smash anyone. The last 3 months or so I've been gone due to work. I came back yesterday to... this and I dont think I will stay.
This is a fitness site, not a popularity contest. Or match.com. You have nothing to gain by showing your *kitten* on the forums. It is not a place for you to come and talk about the stuff you can't talk about at work or wherever. Jesus I can't believe we're even having this thread. It's sad, really.0 -
OK folks, I have to step out for a bit. But I will try to be back on later tonight to answer any additional questions that arise.
While I am away, please try to be respectful to one another. I've already seen some posts on here where temperatures started to rise. If you feel yourself getting angry, step back from the keyboard and walk away for a bit. I'm trying as hard as I can to leave this discussion as open as possible, so please help me out by making sure to be respectful to one another, even if you disagree. Be polite, and try to calm things down, not stir them up. I'll be happy to answer or respond to anything as long as it's expressed in civil and productive manner.
Be back soon...0 -
totally back you Mike! thank you for creating this space! trying to do my best to respect it.0
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All I have to say is THANKS. This is a site for anyone and everyone and they all need to be comfortable to come here and get what I have received from so many. I have made many many new friends and have lost 106 pounds to date and without this site, MFP friends, and myself there is no way I would have had so much success. So again,
THANKS THANKS THANKS for saving my LIFE!!!!0 -
Very well said!!0
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My problem is the absolute ban on "sexuality" posts, but what that really means is *sexual orientation*. You've compared it to religion, etc and said there are no posts allowed about religion or politics, etc.
BUT, it's different. it isn't a topic ABOUT being gay. People just want to post to find other LGBT people to friend. That's it.
Just like I've seen people here request "kosher" recipes, or "halal" recipes. Though those are religions dietary restrictions, they aren't posts ABOUT religion. Those are just people looking for help from others regarding a topic that happens to *intersect* with religion.
The groups is a great idea. But, in the interim, I don't see why posts where someone happens to mention that they are gay and seeking other LGBT friends should be banned. If THAT is considered talking about "sexuality," then I want every single post wherein someone mentions their husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc banned. I fail to see how there's any difference and that too isn't talking about "sexuality."0
This discussion has been closed.
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