OK, let's talk

Mike

I must not spend enough time in the forums... but I don't see any drama, arguments, hatefulness, etc. I used to see a little heatedness in some HCG topics but that was the extent of it.

And now for a request.... can we get a 'like' button?? I know its been asked a billion times but it would be must easier to "like" peoples auto-posts when they are finished with their diary than going through and commenting on everyone. Even better yet (and I know this has been requested too) is a notification for 'wall posts', so if someone comments on your status or you ask a question on theirs and they reply you would know about it.

Thanks for everything you do Mike (and the mods)... I love this site and I'm always telling anyone who wants to get healthy to join here. Ok, back to my corner now. hehe

Both a "like" button and notifications are on our to-do list. Unfortunately, to be able to offer the site for free, we have to keep a very small team. We literally have a 1,000 item to-do list, and at any time, we might be working on say the top 3. But both of those are a very high priority for us, and we'll do our best to make them happen. No promises on timing though.

FearAnLoathing

First off, thank you so much for posting this explanation.

I think groups are a great idea. Personally, I would LOVE to be able to connect with other Christians and not feel like I was going against forum rules. My faith has a lot to do with every single part of my life, including weight loss and trying to live a healthier life. I think it is hurtful, and I don't think it is fair that we can't post about that in the main forum, especially if we are doing it in a respectful manner. It wouldn't bother me at all if people of other faiths, atheists, agnostics, etc. were to start threads regarding their own faiths or lack therof - I simply wouldn't read them! (Please extrapolate this to politics, sexual orientation, other supposedly "hot button topics.") Just because I don't agree with someone does not mean they are wrong, though perhaps some other users are not able to make this distinction.

For me though, I feel the forum rules are, in general, way too strict, and you are alienating a lot of - really great - users. When things get to be as drama-filled as today was, and it causes you lose one of the most knowledgeable, helpful people on this website - that really is a shame.

I love MFP. The calorie and exercise trackers are superb. And I take FULL advantage of the forums, (yes, mostly simply for the social aspect) despite knowing that I am currently "not allowed" to post things regarding one of the most important aspects of my life. I really appreciate all that you and the MFP team do, Mike. Thank you for working hard to improve the site and make it even better for all of us.

Not all are as tolerant as you towards others beliefs

jetscreaminagain

Groups is a step forward...like it. Thanks for posting this Mike.

We are all supposed to be adults on here...and frankly whether people like it or not..if you provide a forum for people to interact with each other...people will interact. And crap happens.

Self moderating groups is a fantastic idea. Lots of people read topics in the forum that are clearly not about weight loss. They go and read it anyway "knowing full well" they are going to be offended and then report it. That's the nature of a little pandering to political correctness.

I love the site...BUT i also love my friends and if my friends leave because the part of the site they enjoyed has changed dramatically...then I started wondering where it stops.

Thanks for the explanation.

Couldn't have said it better.

bry_all01

Moderating cannot be an easy task. Thank you and to the others who volunteer their time to do this. Groups for like minded people will be good, if you are able to achieve that. I think it's honorable that you've taken some blame, but don't take all of the blame. There are people intentionally sabotaging discussions. I suspect that the trolls will always try to "take over" topics; that's the part they enjoy most. I also think it's great that you've refrained from banning anyone. However, that may be what needs to happen if all of your attempts to keep this site positive supportive fail because of a few. Thank you for the site and for all you do. I realize it's free, but I would pay to stay on here for all of the positive features of it.

I agree that trolling has been a problem lately. We're planning on making a rule that will specifically disallow people from hijacking topics and taking them off-topic if we think it's intentional or malicious.

will there be a warning, though? Because I had a thread locked the other day, because the mod said she THOUGHT it was my intention...when what she thought was not at all my intention. So, would we at least get warned or just banned?

I_give_it_2_u_str8

Moderating cannot be an easy task. Thank you and to the others who volunteer their time to do this. Groups for like minded people will be good, if you are able to achieve that. I think it's honorable that you've taken some blame, but don't take all of the blame. There are people intentionally sabotaging discussions. I suspect that the trolls will always try to "take over" topics; that's the part they enjoy most. I also think it's great that you've refrained from banning anyone. However, that may be what needs to happen if all of your attempts to keep this site positive supportive fail because of a few. Thank you for the site and for all you do. I realize it's free, but I would pay to stay on here for all of the positive features of it.

I agree that trolling has been a problem lately. We're planning on making a rule that will specifically disallow people from hijacking topics and taking them off-topic if we think it's intentional or malicious.

Sorry mike I think you're headed in the wrong direction on that one.

Mike

but what about the people who purposefully "follow" us into posts just to get our goat and then report?

If you feel someone is harassing you in this manner, then report it. One of the mods will look into it, and we'll take the appropriate action. If/when we can develop a block/ignore button, that will definitely help as well.

The one thing you absolutely should not do is take matters into your own hands. If you do, you will be as guilty as they are. As hard as it is, you need to report the behavior, then wait for a mod to address it. That's the best (and only) way to handle the situation.

datguy2011

Hi!

Thanks for making such an awesome site, I myself have been apart of the staff for a various numbers of forums. I suggest we try to make a "un censored" version of the forum. Or one spot where ppl can walk the fine line... ?

Missevanston

Mike,

Thank you so much for your time and dedication to this amazing website! I have lost weight, gained friends, and family, as you say, and it is much more than a diet tool to me.

Thank you too for stepping up and owning the recent rash of problems we have seen in the forums. It is great that you are working so hard and have recruited volunteers to help you. I responded to your first request for mods, and believe that it is essential to keeping the site running well.

I do feel that the last few days things have gotten way out of control, so again, thanks for taking back control and coming up with a plan to execute.

MFP is a great place, and I for one appreciate your hard work to try to come up with solutions that will work to address the recent problems.

Thanks again, Mike!!

Best,

DreamLittleDarling

First, Mike, thank you for explaining and taking the time to discuss this with everyone, I know this whole situation has got to be a serious pain in the tush for you.

Has it occurred to anyone though, that by trying to "mave everyone feel comfortable" you are actually making a very large group "uncomfortable" by making them unable to say anything at all without fear of repercussions? Just because a person does not personally like something, does not mean that [whatever it is they don't like] is actually bullying or innapropriate.
Like you said, there are plenty of topics I'm uncomfortable with, I choose not to discuss them. So you say you disagree with the "just don't read it" idea, I get that, I guess. But it is ridiculous that people are reporting posts constantly, just because they personally don't like what's being discussed/the way it's being discussed/the person discussing it. It's simply not fair.
And, tbh, I don't see how making a 'groups' feature will help this. Example: someone posts a question about HCG in the main forums, someone responds with "that's not a good idea," now the OP is upset because that's not the answer they wanted, and they 'report post' as bullying, and here we are again, back at square one. There just needs to be alot more personal responsibility, and grown-up behavior, from BOTH sides of this argument.

Thomasm198

First: Thank you for creating the site and the app and for keeping them free. They have helped me a lot and the site has allowed me to make friends with some great people.

Secondly: The Groups facility is a great idea. I look forward to them.

Thirdly: I was a moderator on a forum many years ago and it is a thankless job so I must say that the moderators are doing a great job overall.

Mike

will there be a warning, though? Because I had a thread locked the other day, because the mod said she THOUGHT it was my intention...when what she thought was not at all my intention. So, would we at least get warned or just banned?

In almost all cases, we will issue a warning before we hand out a suspension or a ban. Bans are extremely rare. You have to either have done something really terrible, or you have to have had several warnings/suspensions perviously.

For trolling, you'd definitely receive a warning first. But if you continued to troll, you may receive a suspension, and if the pattern continued, a ban.

macpatti

Mike,

Just as the others have stated, I am grateful for this site. I dont know if I would have been as dedicated to the weight loss process without it. With that being said, I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served. I hardly ever take part in the community portion, but when I do, if i see a title and feel offended by it, I don't enter it. I don't log on and then act offended. I hope you can see how some became upset when it appeared that you were reprimanding some for "stalking"and not the others. I hope your clarrification clears the air.

Just my two cents
Dave

While I agree that if you seek out a specific topic that offends you, then you can't complain about what you see there, I can also tell you that many times the topic seems innocent but takes a bad turn within the thread. If I hate alcohol and I show up to a bar, I shouldn't complain. But, if I hate alcohol and show up to an elementary school, I can complain that it's not the appropriate place for alcohol (I drink alcohol, just going along with the example given). What I mean by this is, if I'm in a thread that is not sexual in nature, I have every right to speak up when it gets vulgar, crude, or x-rated. My approach has always been to voice my opinion about that in the topic, as opposed to "reporting" to the mods, however, I can see why others are afraid to do that. I believe that creating groups will help with this issue.

deesjourney2fit

I'm the creator of MyFitnessPal. I'm the one that has been moderating a lot of the topics today. I think there have been a lot of misperceptions

"misperceptions"? Is that a word?

Yes, that is a word. Need a definition?

mis·per·ceive (m s p r-s v ). tr.v. mis·per·ceived, mis·per·ceiv·ing, mis·per·ceives. To perceive incorrectly; misunderstand

maidentl

Mike, you said:

"- We've seen members trying to push the limits of our sexual content rules, making thinly veiled sexual references and always trying to push the line"

I'm also aware of at least one instance where something was talked about literally and in proper context. And because someone "could" perceive it as a sexual innuendo, it was punished. Maybe that's why people are pushing back now?

My next question is, can we talk about the elephant in the room? A user here was sweetness and light on the boards and was harassing women in PM's. At least one person reported this and said she was reprimanded for doing so. And I think that's where all of this drama began, with this situation. Will we be able to report PM harassment int he future or is that going to continue to be kosher?

Learning2LoveMe

I must not spend enough time in the forums... but I don't see any drama, arguments, hatefulness, etc. I used to see a little heatedness in some HCG topics but that was the extent of it.

And now for a request.... can we get a 'like' button?? I know its been asked a billion times but it would be must easier to "like" peoples auto-posts when they are finished with their diary than going through and commenting on everyone. Even better yet (and I know this has been requested too) is a notification for 'wall posts', so if someone comments on your status or you ask a question on theirs and they reply you would know about it.

Thanks for everything you do Mike (and the mods)... I love this site and I'm always telling anyone who wants to get healthy to join here. Ok, back to my corner now. hehe

Both a "like" button and notifications are on our to-do list. Unfortunately, to be able to offer the site for free, we have to keep a very small team. We literally have a 1,000 item to-do list, and at any time, we might be working on say the top 3. But both of those are a very high priority for us, and we'll do our best to make them happen. No promises on timing though.

Woohoo!! I feel special you commented on my post :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I wish I knew more about website programming and such... I would help you for free in a heartbeat!

FearAnLoathing

First, Mike, thank you for explaining and taking the time to discuss this with everyone, I know this whole situation has got to be a serious pain in the tush for you.

Has it occurred to anyone though, that by trying to "mave everyone feel comfortable" you are actually making a very large group "uncomfortable" by making them unable to say anything at all without fear of repercussions? Just because a person does not personally like something, does not mean that [whatever it is they don't like] is actually bullying or innapropriate.
Like you said, there are plenty of topics I'm uncomfortable with, I choose not to discuss them. So you say you disagree with the "just don't read it" idea, I get that, I guess. But it is ridiculous that people are reporting posts constantly, just because they personally don't like what's being discussed/the way it's being discussed/the person discussing it. It's simply not fair.
And, tbh, I don't see how making a 'groups' feature will help this. Example: someone posts a question about HCG in the main forums, someone responds with "that's not a good idea," now the OP is upset because that's not the answer they wanted, and they 'report post' as bullying, and here we are again, back at square one. There just needs to be alot more personal responsibility, and grown-up behavior, from BOTH sides of this argument.

Thank you this is what I was thinking,it seems that in trying to make it comfortable for everyone many people are very uncomfortable,to the point were some great members have left the site.I know you dont believe in if you dont like it dont look because it leads to majority rules,but it seems that there is already a majority rule going on

♥_Ellybean_♥

Love the Groups idea!!!

and a like button along with that ignore button would be great!

bry_all01

will there be a warning, though? Because I had a thread locked the other day, because the mod said she THOUGHT it was my intention...when what she thought was not at all my intention. So, would we at least get warned or just banned?

In almost all cases, we will issue a warning before we hand out a suspension or a ban. Bans are extremely rare. You have to either have done something really terrible, or you have to have had several warnings/suspensions perviously.

For trolling, you'd definitely receive a warning first. But if you continued to troll, you may receive a suspension, and if the pattern continued, a ban.

thank you, I just wanted to be sure. I would really hate to get banned. No, I'm not a troll but, could possibly be seen as such by a few...

godblessourhome

-Instead of the clickable "rules page" how about a PM that is sent to all the new Pals as soon as they are a member. In that PM will be the rules, also it can discuss the search function and where it is and how it works, and I guess anything else you think should be there since this is your site.

oooh, i like it!

kaitimae

First off, thank you so much for posting this explanation.

I think groups are a great idea. Personally, I would LOVE to be able to connect with other Christians and not feel like I was going against forum rules. My faith has a lot to do with every single part of my life, including weight loss and trying to live a healthier life. I think it is hurtful, and I don't think it is fair that we can't post about that in the main forum, especially if we are doing it in a respectful manner. It wouldn't bother me at all if people of other faiths, atheists, agnostics, etc. were to start threads regarding their own faiths or lack therof - I simply wouldn't read them! (Please extrapolate this to politics, sexual orientation, other supposedly "hot button topics.") Just because I don't agree with someone does not mean they are wrong, though perhaps some other users are not able to make this distinction.

For me though, I feel the forum rules are, in general, way too strict, and you are alienating a lot of - really great - users. When things get to be as drama-filled as today was, and it causes you lose one of the most knowledgeable, helpful people on this website - that really is a shame.

I love MFP. The calorie and exercise trackers are superb. And I take FULL advantage of the forums, (yes, mostly simply for the social aspect) despite knowing that I am currently "not allowed" to post things regarding one of the most important aspects of my life. I really appreciate all that you and the MFP team do, Mike. Thank you for working hard to improve the site and make it even better for all of us.

Not all are as tolerant as you towards others beliefs

I agree completely. That really is the root of a lot of the forum problems around here. Intolerance drives me insane, especially when those who are acting in rude and hateful ways describe themselves as Christian. Makes the rest of us look bad, too.