OK, let's talk

EmpressOfJudgment

Marcia - I wrote a response above about my thoughts on "if you don't like it, don't click it". The bottom line is that with Groups, you'll be able to have the kinds of conversations that you want to have. But on the main forums, we'll continue to disallow it. For one thing, it's really hard to draw a clear line where some stuff is "ok" but others are not. Everyone wants to push the line, and everyone's definition of that line differs. So we'll continue to make sure that the main forums do not contain that kind of content as much as possible.

I don't envy your position at all, Mike. And I don't blame you at all, I hope you realize. I appreciate all you do and I imagine you have a big ol' headache about now. I just really wish people would lighten up. I like the groups idea. I also like the idea of an ignore and a block button. I also like the idea of putting all the conservative tattle-tales in a boat and shipping them to a deserted island without an internet connection. Oh wait, no one brought that up yet, did they? My bad.

FearAnLoathing

Who are the current moderators?

bry_all01

I, for one, am really excited about and looking forward to the groups. That will be awesome and I believe will eliminate so many of the issues. Again, you have done and are doing an amazing job, Mike. So, thank you, again!!!

brewingaz

Thanks Mike. I love the idea of groups. It's unfortunate that I couldn't even ask to be notified if a thread I posted was deleted without some individuals being out of line. I look forward to the groups function!

Mike

I don't envy your position at all, Mike. And I don't blame you at all, I hope you realize. I appreciate all you do and I imagine you have a big ol' headache about now. I just really wish people would lighten up. I like the groups idea. I also like the idea of an ignore and a block button. I also like the idea of putting all the conservative tattle-tales in a boat and shipping them to a deserted island without an internet connection. Oh wait, no one brought that up yet, did they? My bad.

Just for the record, for 95% of the deletions that occurred recently, there was no "tattle-tale". I think people assume that if a topic gets deleted, it was reported. Sometimes, that's true, and if you see something inappropriate happening on the site, you DEFINITELY should file a report so you can call it to our attention. But at least recently, almost all of the actions taken were done by me, without any reports being filed. I simply read the forums often and deleted the topics I felt were inappropriate or otherwise violated our rules.

And I don't like the notion that if someone reports a topic, they are a "tattle-tale". We need people to help us ensure the site retains the environment we want. It's impossible for us to read every post on the site, so we rely on people to help us. No one should be ashamed for doing that. By reporting posts, you're helping MyFitnessPal, and you're helping your other members by keeping the site the way it should be.

One last note: if you report a post, that doesn't mean we'll automatically do something about it. We read the report and make sure it actually violates a rule before we take any action. So even if there were someone who reported too many things, that doesn't mean there would actually be any impact to the site. We'd just dismiss the reports as invalid.

NeuroticVirgo

I think some of us Adults need to be reminded of things we should have learned as a child... lets start with Thumper shall we?



Just saying... drama can usually be avoided by being respectful to one another, it doesn't mean you can't have an opinion.

kr3851

Hi Mike!

I definitely appreciate this post!

Yesterday at work we had compulsory Bullying/Harassment training and it seemed an amazing coincidence. Whilst I haven't seen a lot of what went on yesterday/today as I'm 'lucky' enough to be on the other side of the world and miss most of what happens during the 'days' here, I seem to see all the backlash.

When I first started here, I didn't know about the rules, or about the FAQ threads. I would definitely have appreciated an inbox message when I first joined to explain this stuff - or at least where to find it.

Apart from that, I stick to the 'oops I don't like this thread I'm leaving' approach.

I love this site and totally appreciate what is done to keep it at no cost to us. I don't think making it paid would reduce anything - I think it would make it worse!! (I PAY to be here so I can say whatever the **** I want)

Thanks Mike (and all the mods) for your hard work!!!

kelley_lynn

So far, after reading, what you wrote Mike, congrats on admitting, there are problems, but that your working on them. Im a mod on a major *adult* site else where. And under stand growth and getting busy, keeping the site the way its been planned and still letting it grow. Its not easy.

Everything you have mentioned, i have to agree with others, is why i stay. And have been lucky enough not to see that many bad posts.. Until some one whines they have been deleted.

You and your team, have a great site. Im losing, after some major struggles, and long term, being a fat person.
And so are many others.

So i will thank you for that. Wish you great luck in getting the groups up. Im sure that will help even more.

BigBeaver

Well, I don't know why I am posting here, I love MFP, I do, it and the many FRIENDS I have made here have helped me lose the 60 lbs I have lost. I do hate the drama. I know I should refrain from commenting on here, cause I know I have stirred up my fair share of controversey in the forumns, as Mike and I have had conversations through PM on what the rules state.

However, I do disagree about some things. This just isn't a weightloss sight, it is a SOCIAL weightloss NETWORKING site. Why are those words capitalized, because that is how I feel. People flock to this site (Btw Mike, thanks for making it free, I may have never used it and had my sucesses had it cost money) to find LIKE-MINDED people struggling with the same problems they are suffering with, so it does become social and a network. I live in TX but I think I have friends all over the US, and across the pond too! Ones that are going through the same issues with weightloss. Sure, some of the threads can get out of hand.

But those threads aren't usually posted in the serious sections, they are in the Chit-chat and fun. However, I am not going to stir the pot and whatever.

Mike--I do agree the groups is a great idea, you discussed this with me months ago via PM, when I became a rules "offender", so I hope that they do become a reality, that would be awesome. Until then, most likely this will be my last thread post.

Thanks for a great Free site.

foodforfuel

Well, I don't know why I am posting here, I love MFP, I do, it and the many FRIENDS I have made here have helped me lose the 60 lbs I have lost. I do hate the drama. I know I should refrain from commenting on here, cause I know I have stirred up my fair share of controversey in the forumns, as Mike and I have had conversations through PM on what the rules state.

However, I do disagree about some things. This just isn't a weightloss sight, it is a SOCIAL weightloss NETWORKING site. Why are those words capitalized, because that is how I feel. People flock to this site (Btw Mike, thanks for making it free, I may have never used it and had my sucesses had it cost money) to find LIKE-MINDED people struggling with the same problems they are suffering with, so it does become social and a network. I live in TX but I think I have friends all over the US, and across the pond too! Ones that are going through the same issues with weightloss. Sure, some of the threads can get out of hand.

But those threads aren't usually posted in the serious sections, they are in the Chit-chat and fun. However, I am not going to stir the pot and whatever.

Mike--I do agree the groups is a great idea, you discussed this with me months ago via PM, when I became a rules "offender", so I hope that they do become a reality, that would be awesome. Until then, most likely this will be my last thread post.

Thanks for a great Free site.

Lizzy_Sunflower

Just want to say THANKS for all your hard work and for creating this site!!

A few thoughts:

-Perhaps a FAQ page that is also in the PM

I highly endorse a FAQ page. I feel that answers to common questions for new members would cut back on redundant threads that are so often the target for derailment (e.g. HCG, TOM, exercise calories, 30DS etc)

I benefit from the site and appreciate it. I do wish you had handled this problem this way from the start though. These last few days I have lost valuable members of my support system. Keep up the good work and thanks for keeping it Free :flowerforyou:

anubis609

I use the site for its intended purpose tracking calories and exercise. It's absolutely great for that.

The forums, unfortunately, become a gray area between variant forms of internet communication. The use of personal groups may ease the tension between those who want to post serious questions and responses, and those who like the entertainment aspect of said internet communication. I also feel that it may be helpful to provide a list of current [official] moderators for those who wish to contact them, with forum concerns or questions, and/or personal offenses without the possibility of resolution, that should be made available.

macpatti

I think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.

You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.

Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikini
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups

I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served

^^^I agree with all of that.

Thanks so much for the site, Mike, and for doing your best to moderate. This place has become very important to me over the last 7 months or so. I love how it has helped me and all of the great people in my friends list. However, I think you and your mods have taken a very heavy hand in censoring things as of late. In your efforts to keep the site from changing, it is changing drastically in a different direction. I've lost great supportive and successful friends. People who meant a lot to me in my journey here. The fact of the matter is that we are all supposed to be adults here. Yes, sometimes adults are flirty and vulgar, but as long as that is kept in the chit-chat forum I don't see how anyone should be complaining about it. We have a choice to click or not click on a topic. We even have a choice to avoid the forums all together. No one is being forced to read offensive material. I think some people miss their days as high school hall monitor and want the other "kids" to stop having fun. As long as no one is being personally harassed abused, or stalked I think things should just be left alone. If someone does something that truly deserves moderating, warn them and delete that particular post. Unless the entire thread is just a train-wreck of truly offensive material, there is no need to delete the entire thread. You had said something earlier about how you want to make this a place where everyone can be comfortable all of the time. Well, it's just not possible to please everyone. Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's a rough place, people. Put on your helmet and buckle up or turn off your computer and go watch Jay Leno.

In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.

EmpressOfJudgment

I think some of us Adults need to be reminded of things we should have learned as a child... lets start with Thumper shall we?



Just saying... drama can usually be avoided by being respectful to one another, it doesn't mean you can't have an opinion.

That's a great theory. Unfortunately, life isn't a Disney movie. I don't think people should be unnecessarily cruel to one another, but let's keep it real.

charityateet

Thanks for all you do! I have been very successful with my wightloss since finding MFP. First I just used it as an app on my phone and then I found the online forums.......and made friends, and I don't think that I would be as successful without the support network I have formed.

That being said...yes, I have seen some things on the boards that have been in bad taste - I have seen some stuff that has broken the rules and tested the rules - you know what I do???? I leave the topic.

In the chit/chat and fun forum, I know there is usually going to be something considered to some as "bad taste" I enter at my own risk.

I just think that there are some people that need to grow up around here and quit clicking "report post" to make them feel like they have power or something.

If you don't like it, move on.

You know, I hear a lot about this - if you don't like it, don't click on it. But I absolutely don't agree with that statement, and I think that's an unfair request to make of someone. We all have topics we are uncomfortable with. You have your boundaries too. And if more and more topics started becoming topics you didn't like, it wouldn't be enough to just not click on them - you'd leave.

We don't want to be a site where majority rules. We want everyone to feel comfortable, not just the majority.

Now groups will definitely help, as you can find like-minded people to group with and chat about virtually whatever you'd like. But on the main forums, we're not going to tell people that if they don't like it, don't click on it. The focus of MyFitnessPal is to help people be healthy, and we want to make sure that the forums assist in that however possible.

I guess we can just disagree there......no biggie. What I was trying to say - more or less is that there are some people around here that follow others around trying to get them in trouble. I'm pretty quiet on the boards, not meaning that I don't read them - but I either don't like the topic (leave) or I have nothing to contribute.....when someone jumps into the middle of a fun/lighthearted thread - calling people sinners....or PM'ing them calling them sluts - or jumps on a thread where everyone is having fun and calls them all teenager 16 year olds - because they don't like the subject. Just seems they have the choice to click on the topic or not - instead of getting involved.

Either way, I love the site and I thank you for all your hard work.

Carl01

I think the groups with self-moderators are good idea. I don't get too easily offended... and I think it is sad that people cannot have open discussions on any topic.

You could also offer separate 'chit chat' forums with 'ratings' such as PG-17, G, etc. This way the parents that are in the living room with their kids are responsible for selecting a G rated forum.

Seriously I dont understand why if you ee a post that says bikin pics and you have a kid in the room you would still go into the thread if you have an issue with your kids seeing someone in a bikini
Thank you for trying to improve things I look forward to groups

I think things have gotten out of hand the last few weeks but by both sides of the "sex chat" isle. I am a firm believer that if you don't like something, you have the freedom to not partake. I think complaing about others partaking in sexual conversations but seeking them out is like saying you hate alcohol but show up at a bar and complain that beer is being served

^^^I agree with all of that.

Thanks so much for the site, Mike, and for doing your best to moderate. This place has become very important to me over the last 7 months or so. I love how it has helped me and all of the great people in my friends list. However, I think you and your mods have taken a very heavy hand in censoring things as of late. In your efforts to keep the site from changing, it is changing drastically in a different direction. I've lost great supportive and successful friends. People who meant a lot to me in my journey here. The fact of the matter is that we are all supposed to be adults here. Yes, sometimes adults are flirty and vulgar, but as long as that is kept in the chit-chat forum I don't see how anyone should be complaining about it. We have a choice to click or not click on a topic. We even have a choice to avoid the forums all together. No one is being forced to read offensive material. I think some people miss their days as high school hall monitor and want the other "kids" to stop having fun. As long as no one is being personally harassed abused, or stalked I think things should just be left alone. If someone does something that truly deserves moderating, warn them and delete that particular post. Unless the entire thread is just a train-wreck of truly offensive material, there is no need to delete the entire thread. You had said something earlier about how you want to make this a place where everyone can be comfortable all of the time. Well, it's just not possible to please everyone. Welcome to the wonderful world of the internet. It's a rough place, people. Put on your helmet and buckle up or turn off your computer and go watch Jay Leno.

In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.

I am not going to derail this but perhaps part of the problems arise by this very thing,you have said you want a positive post but laced it with judgmental innuendo with frequent references to "kids" as if there are those here beneath you.
I only bring this up because maybe you are not actually realizing you might be a part of the problem and a thoughtful look inside could be helpful.

Will leave it there,no desire for a flame war on this thread. :flowerforyou:

ThePhoenixRose

I, too, would like to say thank you for this site, as well as your sentiments regarding the recent happenings on the Forums. I look forward to the implementation of Groups.

foodforfuel

Well, I don't know why I am posting here, I love MFP, I do, it and the many FRIENDS I have made here have helped me lose the 60 lbs I have lost. I do hate the drama. I know I should refrain from commenting on here, cause I know I have stirred up my fair share of controversey in the forumns, as Mike and I have had conversations through PM on what the rules state.

However, I do disagree about some things. This just isn't a weightloss sight, it is a SOCIAL weightloss NETWORKING site. Why are those words capitalized, because that is how I feel. People flock to this site (Btw Mike, thanks for making it free, I may have never used it and had my sucesses had it cost money) to find LIKE-MINDED people struggling with the same problems they are suffering with, so it does become social and a network. I live in TX but I think I have friends all over the US, and across the pond too! Ones that are going through the same issues with weightloss. Sure, some of the threads can get out of hand.

But those threads aren't usually posted in the serious sections, they are in the Chit-chat and fun. However, I am not going to stir the pot and whatever.

Mike--I do agree the groups is a great idea, you discussed this with me months ago via PM, when I became a rules "offender", so I hope that they do become a reality, that would be awesome. Until then, most likely this will be my last thread post.

Thanks for a great Free site.

Oops- I forgot to add my thoughts!
I think the above is a very good post.
I also think I just need to follow my own advice and stay off the threads and message boards completely. As far as wisdom, advice and knowledge, I have a library card and I use it. I buy bodybuilding magazines. Books offer a plethora of knowledge, and I know how to read.
I agree that I also thought of this as a social fitness site. There are some very knowledgeable people on the boards who have actually done the work and perfected their bodies. (Which I wouldn't know without those scantily clad pictures.)
I'll use this site for logging. It is wonderful for that. But really, the threads are just a bunch of BS anyway, and to be restricted to the nth degree on what you say and how you say it, well, pfft. If I have any TOM questions, I'm sure there is a book about that also. I think I read it in fourth grade.

ilookthetype

In keeping with the positive, constructive dialogue here, I would like to share another point of view here. I do not think it is right to allow the "kids" to have full reign of the forum and tell others they can choose to "avoid the forums all together". I do not think it's right to seek out a topic that you know will offend you, then complain about it. However, I should not have to avoid the forums all together, even the chit-chat section, just because something may pop up in a thread I'm on (which happens often). I choose to address those comments myself, as opposed to reporting them or leaving the discussion. I see that does not help the situation, though. I think the groups will help allow the "kids" to play among themselves. We will still have the problem with trolls. I think we should all be able to help the mods with trolls, though. I am not a prude, a tattle-tale, or an overly sensitive bible thumper, but I cannot sit by and watch someone get harassed or allow indecent, horribly tasteless comments go without addressing them. I'm all for a positive, constructive debate, but disagreeing on here ends up going bad. I think it's awesome that we are such a diverse group. We come from different countries, religions, races, socio-economic backgrounds. We can all learn from each other. That won't happen if we bash each other for our differences, though. I apologize to anyone who thought I was doing that when I was speaking up against certain comments.

I am not going to derail this but perhaps part of the problems arise by this very thing,you have said you want a positive post but laced it with judgmental innuendo with frequent references to "kids" as if there are those here beneath you.
I only bring this up because maybe you are not actually realizing you might be a part of the problem and a thoughtful look inside could be helpful.

Will leave it there,no desire for a flame war on this thread. :flowerforyou:

Well said, Carl.

Autumn15

Hey Mike,

I first and foremost want to thank you for creating this site. It is a wonderful tool and is helping so many people. In the 3 months I've been using it I've already lost 25 pounds and learned so much amazing stuff to improve my health and therefore my life. The fact that you provide such a valuable service for free is wonderful and I can't tell you enough how much I appriciate it.

I think some modest changes like the groups is a great idea and will help with some of the issues. Like and Ignore buttons would be great too. I know there are so many of us that would be lost with out the great source of help you are providing.

Hopefully people will realize this is a source to help people and not hurt others. Unfortunetly to many people lose any sort of conscience or respect for others when they can simply hide behind a computer screen. There are a lot of people on here that joke and play and maybe press the limits a little in fun and that is one things but the deliberate bashing or following people on threads is ridiculous and spiteful. I hope you and your staff can decrease the issues so we can all get back to enjoying this wonderful site again.

Keep up the great work!!!