I Beg You......PROVE ME WRONG!!!!

KimertRuns13_1

I am not single but I do have 2 kids and have lost 70 lbs in the last 2 years. I have 20 left to lose (give or take, depending on what my goal is for the day).
I do NOT spend the majority of my day exercising. I sit 8 hours a day at my job. However, I MAKE time in my day to exercise even if it means dragging my kids to the gym for an hour or two. They may miss "quality time at home" but in the future they will thank me for being active and taking them to the gym while I work out.

I have never been at goal weight. I struggle daily wondering if I will actually ever get to goal weight though.
MFP has me set at 1290 calories and I try VERY hard daily to meet that goal. If I know I am going to go over on calories, like today, I will fit in some form of activity to burn 100-200 calories just to make the voices in my head stop beating me up.


as far as #2 - exercise.. money shouldn't be an issues. Your legs work, right? Walking is free and you can do that just about any place! This may come across as rude/mean but it's tough love.. my biggest pet peeve with people is using excuses to not be able to exercise. Whether it be money, guilt or not having time. They're all excuses that have relatively easy fixes. I'm living proof. I made excuses one time too.

Crystal_Rudolph

I have two friends on here that have both lost 50+ pounds and are STAY AT HOME MOMS!!!

Lisa_222

Just outline what works for you and you will lose. I don't personally believe in an hour a day of exercise. I freaking hate exercising. 30-45 minutes tops and I know that will work for me. I've done it before. Some of the stuff you said is true, some of it false, but the main thing is you have to do what works for you and don't worry about everyone else.

Artemis_Acorn

In this case I am asking you to prove me wrong, I have some pretty harsh statements and I need real live facts to help me squash these theories. I want the fat voices in my head to "shut the front door":

1. 89% of people who have posted pictures on here have been at thier goal weight at one point in time in their adult life, or highschool aged (don't know what to call that) life. So it's kind of like its a do-over. They've been there once, they know they can do it, and they did it again. Big whoop.

2. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight (I'm going to say 50lbs or more) cannot be single and have kids.

3. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight spends a majority of thier day exercising.

4. 75% of women on MFP have their calories set at 1200 intentionally, even if MFP calculated them at 1600-1700 etc.

5. The average amount of time to lose weight and keep it off is longer than what is on here. I.e. losing 30lbs in 3 months is one of two things, someone who is very large to start with, or someone who exercises no less than 5 -6 days a week.

6. If you are relatively healthy, but just carry a significant amount (say 30-50lbs) of extra weight, it's harder for you to see results than someone who is not relatively healthy (meaning hdl, ldl, cholesterol, bp all in line)

Let's start with these.
*Remember, these are the fat voices in my head that I'm fighting*

1. I was my goal weight for one year in high school and on my wedding day. Both times I was working out 4-5 hours a day and eating with anorexic-like behaviors. I was not healthy.

2. Not applicable to me

3. This is just silly - we all have lives to live. Jobs, kids, housework etc. There may be a few who have that kind of time, but most of us have to MAKE the time to exercise.

4. I have a lot of weight to lose. When I first chose 2 pounds a week and saw it set to 1200, I changed to 1-1/2 pounds a week which bumped it up. Every pound I lose drops it closer to 1200 again. The day it hits 1200 is the day I back off to 1 pound a week. In the meantime, I earn a few hundred calories most days from exercise so I am usually eating more anyway.

5. I hit my 3-month anniversary on MFP on the 18th of September. That was the day I registered the 32nd pound lost. I'm losing weight faster than I expected or set my goals for. I'm 50 and going into menopause and I have PCOS -an endrochine disorder which works against weight loss. I can't say what is typical, but I do know that I haven't gone to any superhuman level of effort. Just trying to do my best every day - and that includes eating well.

6. Not applicable to me.

As for those fat voices in your head - kick them to the curb. We ALL have our difficulties, including health issues, pain, low energy, sabatoge (both self and others), social situations and pressures, cravings, stress, time constraints, financial constraints etc., but in the end, these are all excuses. I would love to reach my target weight, but if I am healthy, (and don't have to rely on a broken medical system to prop up health issues of my own making) I will be content.

Nurture your body. Treat it as well as you know how. MFP gives you tools to do that. It's up to you to make it happen, regardless of your personal challenges. This is a battle that must be faced with determination and courage. For many of us, it's a LONG road, but there are people here who you can lock arms with (figuratively speaking) and march forward together - from this you can draw support when you are weak, and hope when you are discouraged. Good luck to you. I honestly belive that anyone who wants it bad enough can make it happen.

workingtobethin

I can't EVER remember being at my goal weight...I am working to change that...

TaraTLC83

1. 89% of people who have posted pictures on here have been at thier goal weight at one point in time in their adult life, or highschool aged (don't know what to call that) life. So it's kind of like its a do-over. They've been there once, they know they can do it, and they did it again. Big whoop.

I have a profile pic? Does that count? I have not been at my goal weight. I was at my goal weight in high school, but that doesn't count as I was still a growing child.

2. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight (I'm going to say 50lbs or more) cannot be single and have kids.

My sister (she is also on this site to maintain her weight) Is single/widowed and has a two year old daughter. She has had a very tough year and she is staying at her goal weight. She used to be in the 200s and is now 5'11'' and around 140 (I think).

3. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight spends a majority of thier day exercising.

^see above. I can guarantee my sister did not spend a significant amount of her day exercising. However, she did have a physically demanding job (paramedic).

4. 75% of women on MFP have their calories set at 1200 intentionally, even if MFP calculated them at 1600-1700 etc.

Would be interesting if you could see the actual data on that. I'm sure MFP has it in their databases. Would be neat for them to run a query. Most of the people on my friend list have realistic calorie goals. MFP set my goal at 1320 per day. I have no idea if that is correct for me... Maybe I'll ask my daughters dietician.

5. The average amount of time to lose weight and keep it off is longer than what is on here. I.e. losing 30lbs in 3 months is one of two things, someone who is very large to start with, or someone who exercises no less than 5 -6 days a week.

I would hope the MFP algorithms would take your lifestyle into account when setting your goals, else they are setting everyone up for failure. To fail is to be discouraged and less people would use the site... so I hope that's not true!

6. If you are relatively healthy, but just carry a significant amount (say 30-50lbs) of extra weight, it's harder for you to see results than someone who is not relatively healthy (meaning hdl, ldl, cholesterol, bp all in line)

It depends what type of results you are looking for. I would imagine someone unhealthy and overweight would feel better fast because of the huge impact diet and exercise makes on your BP and ldl and other stats (HR, breathing etc). I am "healthy" and overweight, so I won't feel a difference in my BP and stuff. I have excellent cholesterol levels even though I am overweight. My blood pressure is perfect. I read an interesting study about being overweight and healthy. The only person who can tell you that you are unhealthy is your Dr.


You should do what makes you happy! Whats fun for you! What is your motivation? Why do you want to loose weight. You will do it! You can do it! If not last time, maybe this time... if not this time, maybe next time! You can do it!

MinnieInMaine

1. 89% of people who have posted pictures on here have been at thier goal weight at one point in time in their adult life, or highschool aged (don't know what to call that) life. So it's kind of like its a do-over. They've been there once, they know they can do it, and they did it again. Big whoop.

Sure, I was in a "normal" weight range when I was in high school but that was almost 20 years ago and was actually when my weight problem started. For various reasons, I packed on the pounds my senior year and stayed in that obese range until earlier this year.

2. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight (I'm going to say 50lbs or more) cannot be single and have kids.

I don't have kids but I do have a husband who has no desire to change his eating habits I do all the cooking, don't make separate meals for myself and have been able to keep both of us happy. Oh and, to date I've lost 71 pounds.

3. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight spends a majority of thier day exercising.

Not true! I workout somewhere between 30-60 minutes 5 times per week. And I eat back my exercise calories. Weight loss has more to do with how/what you eat - exercise obviously can help since you burn calories but, to me, it's more of a bonus for health.

4. 75% of women on MFP have their calories set at 1200 intentionally, even if MFP calculated them at 1600-1700 etc.

Ok, I'll admit that I changed mine from 1600+ that MFP gave me for a 1 pound per week loss to about 1300 for a 1.5 pound per week loss but that was more of a mind game that I play with myself. When I was on Weight Watchers, they gave you extra allowance points every week so I was still in the mindset that going over my calories was ok because I had that cushion. Well, at 1600 calories, there really wasn't a cushion so I had to change it to 1300 in order to continue with that mindset. I still lose more like 1 pound per week...

5. The average amount of time to lose weight and keep it off is longer than what is on here. I.e. losing 30lbs in 3 months is one of two things, someone who is very large to start with, or someone who exercises no less than 5 -6 days a week.

I don't set weight loss goals so I don't pay attention to that little message too much. I think setting "x amount of weight per month/week" goals is a good way to set yourself up for failure and not enjoying life. I'm not doing this to lose weight for a wedding or reuinion or cruise - I'm doing this for the long term, for health and fitness. If it takes me 2-3 years, so be it!

6. If you are relatively healthy, but just carry a significant amount (say 30-50lbs) of extra weight, it's harder for you to see results than someone who is not relatively healthy (meaning hdl, ldl, cholesterol, bp all in line)

I don't think that's true and I'm in that 30-50 pound overweight zone. if you depend solely on the scale, it may be harder to be happy with results because you're not going to lose pounds like a severely obese person would (I've been there too, so I know that the rate of loss has decreased severely). And, as much as I enjoy the show, I blame programs like Biggest Loser for that mindset. However, if you change your thinking and outlook a bit, take measurements, focus on how your clothes fit and how you feel and the fact that you're becoming better, healthier, happier, etc you will have/get that sense of accomplishment.

Changing your thinking, learn a little more about healthy eating and activity, and ignore those negative thoughts and I bet this process will go a lot more smoothly for you...

kimcat73

Number 2 is more about having the time, and allowing yourself "me" time. Between getting everybody to the right places at the right times, and ensuring everyone has clean clothes, something to eat, homework done, and is bathed. I find little time, and when I find something that I do enjoy doing it's usually at an inconvenient time, OR even better I'm looked horribly at because I'm making my children spend an extra hour or so at daycare (even though they are being paid an extra fee, that I don't really have in the first place, for it), or my other babysitter sighs that she has to watch them *again* and give them snacks or supper.

Number 3, so am I hearing the majority of the masses correct that in the scale of exercise/diet, diet is much more important?
If this is the case then I can understand why people would set their calories lower and then not exercise if they hate exercise. But for those of us who enjoy eating then we must make up for it with exercise, and learn to like it.

If there are any of you out there that can provide a few more suggestions on #2 I'm absolutely open to them. The hinders are time, and money, and self reflection (meaning how can I get over the negativity for taking 'me' time)

Ohhhh, this makes more sense now. LOL Yes, I absolutely feel that I've had an easier time of losing this weight because I have no kids or husband vying for my time. I can afford to spend time and money on me because I am all I have. I wish anyone the best of luck in this journey if they have husband and kids, it must be tough! Good luck!

chevy88grl

1. 89% of people who have posted pictures on here have been at thier goal weight at one point in time in their adult life, or highschool aged (don't know what to call that) life. So it's kind of like its a do-over. They've been there once, they know they can do it, and they did it again. Big whoop.

** Well, I've not ever been at this particular weight. I've weighed less, but never have I been right where I am today. And I'm sorry but whether or not you've been to your goal weight or not - it IS a big deal to get there. Also, just because you've been there doesn't mean you know how to do it. When I weighed 100lbs I ate nothing but crap. Fast food, bologna sandwiches and Mt Dew were my staples. I wasn't healthy - I was just very young and very thin. So, don't assume that just because someone was thin once that they were healthy and know how to do it.

2. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight (I'm going to say 50lbs or more) cannot be single and have kids.

** I am a single mom with two teenage daughters. I've lost 60lbs. What does your marital status or the amount of kids you have, have to do with it?

3. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight spends a majority of thier day exercising.

** Absolutely not. I work. I have two kids. I have other obligations in my life. Even in the beginning, I only worked out for 1 hour a day. Now, you're lucky to get an hour a week out of me.

4. 75% of women on MFP have their calories set at 1200 intentionally, even if MFP calculated them at 1600-1700 etc.

** My calories are customized and set by me at 2300. My range is anywhere between 2200-2500 NET calories.

5. The average amount of time to lose weight and keep it off is longer than what is on here. I.e. losing 30lbs in 3 months is one of two things, someone who is very large to start with, or someone who exercises no less than 5 -6 days a week.

** I think it all depends on your body. Plain and simple. I went from 177lbs to 150lbs from April to Sept 2010.

6. If you are relatively healthy, but just carry a significant amount (say 30-50lbs) of extra weight, it's harder for you to see results than someone who is not relatively healthy (meaning hdl, ldl, cholesterol, bp all in line)

** I think this will totally depend on the person.

Givemewings

Hi....my answers....

1. 89% of people who have posted pictures on here have been at thier goal weight at one point in time in their adult life, or highschool aged (don't know what to call that) life. So it's kind of like its a do-over. They've been there once, they know they can do it, and they did it again. Big whoop.
I have put weight on gradually over the years. I hit my highest weight just before I started MFP.

2. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight (I'm going to say 50lbs or more) cannot be single and have kids.
I am not single within kids, but have a very busy life, with two sons, one stepson, and a busy stressful job.

3. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight spends a majority of thier day exercising.
I try to exercise as much as I can, but as I am working and dealing with the kids, this sometimes means just a walk at lunchtime at work, or i wait for the kids to be in bed and go to the gym. My husband and I take turns. Or I do an exercise DVD . If I have the kids then I might take them for a walk or a bike ride and get exercise that way.If you are really determined , there is always a way to fit some exercise in.

4. 75% of women on MFP have their calories set at 1200 intentionally, even if MFP calculated them at 1600-1700 etc.
My calories were set at 1200 by MFP.

5. The average amount of time to lose weight and keep it off is longer than what is on here. I.e. losing 30lbs in 3 months is one of two things, someone who is very large to start with, or someone who exercises no less than 5 -6 days a week.
I do try to exercise at least 6 days a week but don't always manage it.

6. If you are relatively healthy, but just carry a significant amount (say 30-50lbs) of extra weight, it's harder for you to see results than someone who is not relatively healthy (meaning hdl, ldl, cholesterol, bp all in line)
I didn't have any health problems when I started MFP, just didn't feel that great.

Hope this is of some help. You can do it!!

Givemewings

In this case I am asking you to prove me wrong, I have some pretty harsh statements and I need real live facts to help me squash these theories. I want the fat voices in my head to "shut the front door":

2. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight (I'm going to say 50lbs or more) cannot be single and have kids.

3. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight spends a majority of thier day exercising.

Number 2 is more about having the time, and allowing yourself "me" time. Between getting everybody to the right places at the right times, and ensuring everyone has clean clothes, something to eat, homework done, and is bathed. I find little time, and when I find something that I do enjoy doing it's usually at an inconvenient time, OR even better I'm looked horribly at because I'm making my children spend an extra hour or so at daycare (even though they are being paid an extra fee, that I don't really have in the first place, for it), or my other babysitter sighs that she has to watch them *again* and give them snacks or supper.

Number 3, so am I hearing the majority of the masses correct that in the scale of exercise/diet, diet is much more important?
If this is the case then I can understand why people would set their calories lower and then not exercise if they hate exercise. But for those of us who enjoy eating then we must make up for it with exercise, and learn to like it.

If there are any of you out there that can provide a few more suggestions on #2 I'm absolutely open to them. The hinders are time, and money, and self reflection (meaning how can I get over the negativity for taking 'me' time)

3. I don't think diet is more important than exercise. They are both equally important. I am making much healthier choices now than I ever did before and I feel great. And the improvement in my fitness is making me feel great too. I love my food though, so if I want to eat more food then I try to make sure that I do enough exercise to earn me the calories to do that. But I try not to make bad choices.

2. This is a good choice for your family. For me, joining MFP, eating healthily and exercising more has been one of the best decisions I ever made. And not just for me, for the whole family. We are all getting fitter. We are all eating better. And the boys are reaping the benefits of me being fitter and having more energy to do things. Do this. It will be the best choice you ever made. You need to think of yourself and your health; it's not selfish, and your children will benefit from it and be proud of you.



Lecture over!

Cait_Sidhe

I'm one of the many who have never been at their goal weight, as far as I know.

Also, I'm super short. 1200 is what MFP gave me. I quit smoking and got hungry, so I upped it to 1330 or 1/2 lb/week 2 months ago. I've been on a 2 month plateau since then. I gain and lose the same 4-5 lb. Last week I decided to change it back to 1 lb/week or 1200 calories. I'm not happy about this. I'm hungry. It's certainly not a choice I would've made if eating more allowed me to lose weight.

And FYI, I'm 4' 10 1/2".

Jessamin

1. Never been at my goal weight.
2. I have lost over fifty pounds and I am in fact single and have no children.
3. I spend about an hour exercising 4 - 5 days a week.
4. My calories are set to 1640 - like MFP tells me to, but I do aim for 1200 - 1300 rather than my delegated amount.
5. I dunno.
6. I dunno.

nettie1969

In this case I am asking you to prove me wrong, I have some pretty harsh statements and I need real live facts to help me squash these theories. I want the fat voices in my head to "shut the front door":

2. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight (I'm going to say 50lbs or more) cannot be single and have kids.

3. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight spends a majority of thier day exercising.

Number 2 is more about having the time, and allowing yourself "me" time. Between getting everybody to the right places at the right times, and ensuring everyone has clean clothes, something to eat, homework done, and is bathed. I find little time, and when I find something that I do enjoy doing it's usually at an inconvenient time, OR even better I'm looked horribly at because I'm making my children spend an extra hour or so at daycare (even though they are being paid an extra fee, that I don't really have in the first place, for it), or my other babysitter sighs that she has to watch them *again* and give them snacks or supper.

Number 3, so am I hearing the majority of the masses correct that in the scale of exercise/diet, diet is much more important?
If this is the case then I can understand why people would set their calories lower and then not exercise if they hate exercise. But for those of us who enjoy eating then we must make up for it with exercise, and learn to like it.

If there are any of you out there that can provide a few more suggestions on #2 I'm absolutely open to them. The hinders are time, and money, and self reflection (meaning how can I get over the negativity for taking 'me' time)

Before I try to help with this let me go back to your original post.

1. Never been my goal weight. Am always really under or really over it.
2. As a single mum to a 4 year old I lost over 50kg (I think that is about 110lbs) - was also studying for a degree and working part time all to pay of a mortgage (note this was 15 years ago and I have over the past 3 or 4 years put 20 kg back on - again from a medical condition)
3. I hate exercise more than housework!! (read my tips below)
4. No idea what my calories are set for ... I really only use MFP for motivation and actually recording what I eat and do. My diet is very protein orientated at the moment and very low carb - I only count those (and yes, i am under a doctors supervision for those of you that are gasping and saying how wrong this is)
5. When I lost all my weight it was over a 4-6 month period ... I lost it so quick mainly due to two things 1. a lot of it was 'new' fat (ie i put that much weight on over about 2 years while i had a back problem) and 2. I didn't stop moving
6. Despite being so big all my other health results were spot on so technically I was relatively healthy.

Now onto the rest ...

How to find the time and not feel guilty .....

I incorporated my daughter into my "exercise" time. While she was watching "the wiggles" i would watch AND DANCE (for emphasis) with her. My theory is that moving muscles uses energy.. so anytime i was moving (instead of sitting still) I was using energy. Coupling that with better eating choices my weight just fell off. For example, when watching tv I would do arm bends with cans of baked beans; while ironing - do lunges; while doing dishes - walk on the spot. It is really easy to add that extra movement into your day - and you would be surprised at how quickly it all adds up, while kid in bath and watching her did squats... the list goes on. You do not need to have a dedicated hour or 1/2 hour each day to 'burn calories' - anything will do. Obviously, you do need proper sessions if you want to 'get fitter' ie build your stamina, etc but for now just focus on movement.

Don't look at it as me time ... look at it as kid time. Time to do something that is going to be an example for them, make you more healthy for them, give you so much more energy to do things with them. Okay - it is just a mind trick - i will admit that. But it was how I got myself motivated at first. Later on came the "me for me" time and that I did deserve it (but that also took a professional psychologist to help me understand).

Another thing I did to incorporate 'me' time with my daughter was to get her involved in the things i liked, for example as a kid she didn't care what book I read to her at night so long as I read her something (as I love reading and find it really relaxing I loved this - we even read my textbooks at night together and she felt so grow up and important - like she was helping mummy). Do you enjoy craft? get them involved. As for your exercise - go and get a dvd from the library (if you don't have one) and get the kids to do it with you - if they are old enough - or just let them run wild (under your observant gaze) while you do it ... they will love it! So many ideas - my fingers just won't keep up.

Hang in there ... hang out in the forums ... add me and others as friends .... message us with any questions or for more information if you see something you like ..... you will be so surprised (and proud) of yourself when you finally nail whatever is holding you back.

angelaclassact

1. This is true for me. 89% of people who have posted pictures on here have been at thier goal weight at one point in time in their adult life, or highschool aged (don't know what to call that) life. So it's kind of like its a do-over. They've been there once, they know they can do it, and they did it again. Big whoop.

2. I don't agree with this! I have a friend who's lost almost 100# and she's married with 2 kids. I also know single people wiht kids and without kids that have lost 50+ pounds. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight (I'm going to say 50lbs or more) cannot be single and have kids.

3. In most cases, not true. Anyone who has lost a significant amount of weight spends a majority of thier day exercising.

4. I didn't set mine, they are naturally that. My body burns 1300 calories just living. 75% of women on MFP have their calories set at 1200 intentionally, even if MFP calculated them at 1600-1700 etc.

5. I think it depends on a lot of factors. If someone starts with food, and then adds in exercise their rate of weight loss will be slower. If they start larger and go with food and exercise, their rate of weight loss is going to be faster. The average amount of time to lose weight and keep it off is longer than what is on here. I.e. losing 30lbs in 3 months is one of two things, someone who is very large to start with, or someone who exercises no less than 5 -6 days a week.

6. How so? Define healthy? What is relatively healthy? If you are relatively healthy, but just carry a significant amount (say 30-50lbs) of extra weight, it's harder for you to see results than someone who is not relatively healthy (meaning hdl, ldl, cholesterol, bp all in line)

DrFancyNancy

Don't convinCe yourself with wrong words like those!

luv2ash

I've lost 107 pounds and NO I do not live at the gym. I do love to exercise, mainly walking or 30-45 mins of cardio a day. No bigest loser workouts for me. In fact,I lost my first 40 in 8 weeks with not a lick of exercise. By that time, I felt so friggin healthy and great, that I actually wanted to exercise. So that is when I began to throw in some light exercise. Usually just a DVD.