Dear annoying person

124

Replies

  • To my fellow gym goers:

    To the ladies: I can’t believe that you don’t feel a breeze under those short-shorts when your butt cheeks fall out. I know you worked hard for that rockin’ bod, but please, leave something to the imagination. I don’t want to share your assets. Also, for those who are larger in chest, please, a good bra does wonders. Really it does.

    To the men: I am quite impressed that you can do 50 reps with 120 pound weights. What I am not impressed with is when you leave large sweaty, stinky patches on the machines. I am not your mother. I will clean up after myself, using the disinfectant that is 5 feet away, but please, don’t make me clean up after you. It’s nasty, and it’s common courtesy.

    Thanks much,
    Happy gym-goer.
  • jbug100
    jbug100 Posts: 406 Member
    Dear Viagra and Cialis,

    When I'm watching a football game on CBS or Fox, and trying to get my kids to actually enjoy football instead of playing XBox or Nintendo 3-DS, please take your stupid ads and run them elsewhere. I just don't feel like explaining erectile dysfunction to young children.

    Sincerely,

    Pacmanjack

    P.S. What's with the his-and-her's outdoor bathtubs anyway?


    Omg, I just peed my pants! I'm sure there's a pill for that too! His and hers bathtubs.....I'm dying!

    Omg, I just peed my pants! I'm sure theres a pill for that too!

    P.S.S. You really suck
  • jbug100
    jbug100 Posts: 406 Member
    Omg, I just wet my pants! I'm sure there is a pill for that too! His and hers tubs.....I'm dying!
  • Jeepinmom4
    Jeepinmom4 Posts: 298 Member
    Lmfao...poor kitty...:laugh:
  • hollyb9871
    hollyb9871 Posts: 401 Member
    I've laughed so much reading this it's making me cry!

    Dear Neighbors-

    To the 'old' neighbors-We adore you and you're family and hate that you left. Just because your husband was sent half way around the world for the next year doesn't mean you should have left us!

    To the 'new' neighbors-Where to start! I hate your dogs with a burning passion. They bark their fool heads off, dig under the fence and have reminded my dog that he can bark (we have worked to keep him from remembering this information) and hr will now bark at your yippy dogs until I bring him back in. You have children between the ages of 9 and 4. The oldest should not be responsible for the others and it clearly doesn't work considering the amount of times the youngest is sitting in the middle of the street. Just because your children annoy you doesn't mean you send them outside to annoy me. Keep them out of my yard and my tree, teach them to not go in my garage if I left the door open, to take out whatever toy them seem to be lacking. Try parenting your children, being outside to make sure they don't get run over is a good start. I am tired of hiding out inside my house to avoid having to parent your children to keep them safe.

    whew! Anyone know of a house for sale in the country??
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    To my fellow gym goers:

    To the ladies: I can’t believe that you don’t feel a breeze under those short-shorts when your butt cheeks fall out. I know you worked hard for that rockin’ bod, but please, leave something to the imagination. I don’t want to share your assets. Also, for those who are larger in chest, please, a good bra does wonders. Really it does.
    I think I speak for all men when I strongly disagree here. ;)
    To the men: I am quite impressed that you can do 50 reps with 120 pound weights. What I am not impressed with is when you leave large sweaty, stinky patches on the machines. I am not your mother. I will clean up after myself, using the disinfectant that is 5 feet away, but please, don’t make me clean up after you. It’s nasty, and it’s common courtesy.
    I speak for everyone again when I say no one likes a Staph infection.
  • Lisa_222
    Lisa_222 Posts: 301 Member
    LMAO! this is the best thread!
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    dear forementioned co-workers,
    I cannot hear myself think any longer. I don't give a flying flippidy do dah what flavor of jolly ranchers you prefer.
    I always thought Jolly Ranchers were disgusting anyway.

    PS I want my share of our lottery winnings($11)
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    Dear Netflix/Qwikster/lame-*kitten*:

    Aww, you're reporting a loss this quarter? ..too bad you are just now learning the meaning of corporate responsibility! ESAD!!
  • I think you guys just made my day!! You are all hilarious.. but I feel you guys!!! Good luck! :drinker:
  • Dear Mrs. "Your Going To Be Fat Forever"

    to put in simply f**k you, just because you failed at your diets does not mean you can degrade somone elses!

    if there was a like button.. i would love this comment!!!! :)
  • Dear person that does not know how to use search.

    Sex is fun but doesn't' burn that many calories

    Bad news bud.... you're doing it wrong.

    ;)


    Hahaha- we just had this conversation at work the other day....someone said that they get all kinds of energy afterward and want to clean the house, to that my co worker and I replied "you're doing it wrong! " LOL
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
    Dear Co-Worker two cubicles over,

    I really try to block out your phone conversations, but you have such a high, shrill voice that sometimes I can't help but overhear. I'd rather not. It irks me that you are fussing over the shade of beige in your new house. It's annoying that you have found your new microwave not good enough for your new kitchen. It drives me crazy that you are only 25 years old, no children, no house mate, and are calling for a maid service.

    Yeah - you're earning that salary you "so" deserve by pushing your work on others. It took you 10 minutes to explain to me what you wanted done, when you could have done it yourself in a few keystrokes. You skip out of here at 5:00pm on the dot - after you gave me a pile of crap that "needs to be done by the end of the day" at 4:40pm. I'm the one that has three children, has to get to practice to coach, and then go home cook, help with homework, make sure kids are bathed and in bed and then clean up.

    I'm an assistant, not a slave. Enjoy your clean, new, and freshly repainted house that you spend most of your work day making calls on. Every Day. Every week. Oh and have fun on that wine tour you spent over 2 hours organizing last week.

    That is all....
  • EmpressOfJudgment
    EmpressOfJudgment Posts: 1,162 Member
    Dear Netflix/Qwikster/lame-*kitten*:

    Aww, you're reporting a loss this quarter? ..too bad you are just now learning the meaning of corporate responsibility! ESAD!!
    Thank you!
  • Dear Annoying Person,
    I am sick. And I need to rest. I can not go outside 10 times a day. I really need sleep so keeping me up all night is not helping the cause. Stop attacking the dog with utensils and locking yourself in the bathroom.

    - Love Mom

    ps. You are the still the cutest thing ever.

    OMG...LOVE it!!!! :):):) Glad I'm not the only one that gets annoyed with my kids. Still love them more than life and think they are the cutest short people on the planet. :)
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    Dear Netflix/Qwikster/lame-*kitten*:

    Aww, you're reporting a loss this quarter? ..too bad you are just now learning the meaning of corporate responsibility! ESAD!!
    Thank you!

    It felt damn good! lmao!
  • sdgirl22
    sdgirl22 Posts: 225 Member
    Dear Viagra and Cialis,

    When I'm watching a football game on CBS or Fox, and trying to get my kids to actually enjoy football instead of playing XBox or Nintendo 3-DS, please take your stupid ads and run them elsewhere. I just don't feel like explaining erectile dysfunction to young children.

    Sincerely,

    Pacmanjack

    P.S. What's with the his-and-her's outdoor bathtubs anyway?

    P.S.S. You really suck


    :laugh: awesome
  • Dear Co-Worker two cubicles over,

    I really try to block out your phone conversations, but you have such a high, shrill voice that sometimes I can't help but overhear. I'd rather not. It irks me that you are fussing over the shade of beige in your new house. It's annoying that you have found your new microwave not good enough for your new kitchen. It drives me crazy that you are only 25 years old, no children, no house mate, and are calling for a maid service.

    Yeah - you're earning that salary you "so" deserve by pushing your work on others. It took you 10 minutes to explain to me what you wanted done, when you could have done it yourself in a few keystrokes. You skip out of here at 5:00pm on the dot - after you gave me a pile of crap that "needs to be done by the end of the day" at 4:40pm. I'm the one that has three children, has to get to practice to coach, and then go home cook, help with homework, make sure kids are bathed and in bed and then clean up.

    I'm an assistant, not a slave. Enjoy your clean, new, and freshly repainted house that you spend most of your work day making calls on. Every Day. Every week. Oh and have fun on that wine tour you spent over 2 hours organizing last week.

    That is all....

    GREAT. Now *I'm* mad at her too! Grrrrr. I hope someday you can stick it to the boss. ; ) Have a great day!
  • Dear annoying person,

    You're tired because you sleep all damn day and don't do anything. That's also the reason why you can't sleep at night. So stop complaining about it.
    Also, you're sick all the time because you smoke. Stop denying it.

    Love,
    Me
  • Dear Family of my ICU patient,
    I am not your personal secretary or waitress. It is NOT my job to fax your paperwork, or find you phone numbers or bring the 20 members of your family beverages and food. I am an ICU nurse and my job involves keeping your loved one alive NOT serving you and making your life more convenient.
    Thanks, Your ICU Nurse


    OMG, yes!!!!
  • kel7298
    kel7298 Posts: 1,542 Member
    Dear Annoying Patron,

    Get off your lazy 20 yr butt and get a job. I am tired of paying for your well-being.

    Signed,

    Taxpaying American
  • spicypepper
    spicypepper Posts: 1,016 Member
    Dear Nasty lady at my grocery store,

    I'm guessing your mother didn't teach you the proper attire to wear for your age group. You must be what near 60 +/- a year or two? Whoever told you that it was acceptable to wear shorty mcshort shorts out in public should be taken out and beaten senseless!

    As for the tat on your lower back, I'm sure that when you originally got Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious put on it was awesome! However, now it resembles the product bar code off of a case of ensure.

    And if seeing your skanky butt at the grocery store wasn't enough, seeing you damn near get to second base with your toothless boy toy (he had to have been, what 40ish? Damn cougar!) in the Latino isle was enough to make me vomit in my mouth.

    Sincerely,

    Scarred for life in Texas!
  • Dear Nasty lady at my grocery store,

    I'm guessing your mother didn't teach you the proper attire to wear for your age group. You must be what near 60 +/- a year or two? Whoever told you that it was acceptable to wear shorty mcshort shorts out in public should be taken out and beaten senseless!

    As for the tat on your lower back, I'm sure that when you originally got Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious put on it was awesome! However, now it resembles the product bar code off of a case of ensure.

    And if seeing your skanky butt at the grocery store wasn't enough, seeing you damn near get to second base with your toothless boy toy (he had to have been, what 40ish? Damn cougar!) in the Latino isle was enough to make me vomit in my mouth.

    Sincerely,

    Scarred for life in Texas!


    Hahahaha! Epic fail on Skanky McCougar...You should have taken a photo of her and sent it to people of walmart.com. (I can only assume that is where you were, as I have seen similar specimens there!)
  • spicypepper
    spicypepper Posts: 1,016 Member
    Dear Nasty lady at my grocery store,

    I'm guessing your mother didn't teach you the proper attire to wear for your age group. You must be what near 60 +/- a year or two? Whoever told you that it was acceptable to wear shorty mcshort shorts out in public should be taken out and beaten senseless!

    As for the tat on your lower back, I'm sure that when you originally got Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious put on it was awesome! However, now it resembles the product bar code off of a case of ensure.

    And if seeing your skanky butt at the grocery store wasn't enough, seeing you damn near get to second base with your toothless boy toy (he had to have been, what 40ish? Damn cougar!) in the Latino isle was enough to make me vomit in my mouth.

    Sincerely,

    Scarred for life in Texas!


    Hahahaha! Epic fail on Skanky McCougar...You should have taken a photo of her and sent it to people of walmart.com. (I can only assume that is where you were, as I have seen similar specimens there!)

    Right! No, not Walmart but should have been.
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Dear Jonny,

    I love your enthusiasm and your silly sense of humour, but I'm here to teach a whole class, not just you!

    Your disgruntled Spanish teacher
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    And this thread made me think of the multitude of people probably annoyed today... Sorry!
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
    Dear Guy on the Bus,

    MOVE OVER, just because you're bigger than me does NOT mean you get to slide over the seat onto mine and touch me...ew...you were waiting for the bus in city summer heat and now you smell bad and keep inching over. And don't you DARE look at me as though I should crush myself against the window because you need more space. I lost weight to have MORE room not less! If you can't stay on your side then sit with that lady who sat with me last week who ALSO refuses to keep on her own seat and just annoy each other.

    Don't you dare fall asleep with your head on the side towards me, aim for the aisle, at least then when you nod off you'll just fall into space instead of into me.

    P.S

    Dear guy in next office,

    I like you, you're a nice guy but PLEASE take your wife (and everyone else that calls you) OFF of speakerphone. I don't care that your marriage is on the rocks and your three year old bothers her all day and the dog is always barking. Tell her to get a job and put the kid in daycare if she's going to whine about it every two hours of every day. We all can hear you and don't want to. The office has very thin walls and I can only play my music so loud!

    Kaythanxbye

    *edited because apparently you can't use "b_tch" to mean "complain" my bad, didn't know that was profanity ;)
  • CherryTop
    CherryTop Posts: 41 Member
    Dear Annoying ~

    I am hear to workout and improve myself not to look at your nor date you

    Sincerely
    The Red head you like to call "Red"
  • staps065
    staps065 Posts: 837 Member
    Dear Gym Rat:

    Yes, I am impressed that you can do push-ups with your girlfriend on your back; yes, I am inpressed that you can do hand-stands; and yes, I'm impressed at 40 you are still a surfer dude! But I go to the gym to workout, not to be entertained by your antics, I wear headphones and either am watching the news or listening to my iPhone and no, I don't want to chit-chat. I DO have a job and don't spend two hours in the gym because I have nowhere else to go.

    Thank you!
  • Lesliecs
    Lesliecs Posts: 930 Member
    Dear Annoying Guy Sitting in the Car Next To Me at the Stoplight.....

    It REALLY makes me angry when I have to roll my windows up tight just so I can hear MY OWN radio because your's is loud enough for everyone in the next state to hear!! I bet you are the same A**Hat that drives past my house every night with the booming so loud it rattles my windows! I love that, especially when I'm sleeping.

    My only consolation is..... one of these days you'll wonder where you hearing went. GET A GRIP! Turn it down!

    Sincerely.... wait..... no sincerely....
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