Dear annoying person

pinkgigi

Dear new owner of the cafe next to my house

The reason I was taking a photo of the car parked ILLEGALLY outside my house is for evidence to the council that parking restrictions are not being adhered to outside my home. Parking in that way obstructs my driveway, as I have pointed out many times to the variety of tradesmen who have been renovating your cafe for the past month or so. Saying sorry and moving the car would have been a reasonable response, which would have created a bit of goodwill between neighbours. However, being aggressive towards myself and my daughter, screaming, eyes bulging, and saying I was a bad neighbour does not promote neighbourly feelings.

Oh and by the way, as I have lived here for 20 years, a lot of people in this neighbourhood ask me about the cafe next to my place. Oh and I happen to belong to the biggest bike club in bayside, so there are lots and lots of people I can tell about your a&&hattery. You obviously not smart enough to know that you do not in fact have the right disposition for running a business that has contact with the general public, because having a low frustration threshold and poor people skills will not hold you in good stead.

I have lived here 20 years, I have seen 7 business come and go, I only have to wait at the most 2 years before you're gone too, because that is the longest any person has been able to make a business survive here.

Best of all, you have spelt the name of your cafe wrongly, and what does 'milk bar and kitchen' mean anyway?

GG

rebecky27

Dear Co-Worker two cubicles over,

I really try to block out your phone conversations, but you have such a high, shrill voice that sometimes I can't help but overhear. I'd rather not. It irks me that you are fussing over the shade of beige in your new house. It's annoying that you have found your new microwave not good enough for your new kitchen. It drives me crazy that you are only 25 years old, no children, no house mate, and are calling for a maid service.

Yeah - you're earning that salary you "so" deserve by pushing your work on others. It took you 10 minutes to explain to me what you wanted done, when you could have done it yourself in a few keystrokes. You skip out of here at 5:00pm on the dot - after you gave me a pile of crap that "needs to be done by the end of the day" at 4:40pm. I'm the one that has three children, has to get to practice to coach, and then go home cook, help with homework, make sure kids are bathed and in bed and then clean up.

I'm an assistant, not a slave. Enjoy your clean, new, and freshly repainted house that you spend most of your work day making calls on. Every Day. Every week. Oh and have fun on that wine tour you spent over 2 hours organizing last week.

That is all....

GREAT. Now *I'm* mad at her too! Grrrrr. I hope someday you can stick it to the boss. ; ) Have a great day!

Ohmygosh! She's now on the phone making arrangements for yet another wine tour. If she says "oooOOOOooo" one more time, I'm gonna shriek!

She's not the boss - only thinks she's the boss.... I think our whole cube pod is ready to turn her into the real boss!

Iamfit4life

Dear "RIngleader" of annoying co-workers,

I hope you know what a delight you have made my day, by not showing up in the office.
I truly(and I mean this despite my immense distaste for you) hope you are feeling better very soon. I have made it through the day wihtout any snorting, chuckeling, or whispering. Oh yes, those dirty looks you give me.... I see them. I'm not dumb.
Anyhow thank you again for being absent. Thus far it's been a truly divine day at work



PS... You're right. You do look like a muppet. And not in a good way.

RedBullLiz

If you know it's over, why must you continue coming back?? I am over you as well as you should too. No, I did not call you. And no, I did not text you. I know it's you who calls me every freakin' late night. If you know I will never answer the phone, why do you bother?? What do you gain from this??

When people break up, LEAVE IT ALONE. There is no possible way in this world, or in another life, that we will get back together. And no, I definitely do NOT want to be your friend or acquaintance of that matter.

Leave me be.

nrvo

Dear Older Male Co-workers,

Please stop telling everyone who will listen that people only do what I ask (aka their jobs) because I am "a cute girl asking them". No, it's because I am assertive and awesome at my job. Don't belittle me with that crap. Especially you, Boss. Also, other co-worker, please stop telling me that "I better not lose any more weight because you don't want me to lose my curves". WTF is wrong with you and how is that anything close to appropriate. You are the reason I wear super baggy clothes and basically dress like a dude at work. You all skeeve me out.

Professionally,
N

jnite

Love this thread!!!

Dear people who come in my store:

When I greet you and ask if I can help you with anything do not look at me and then pretend you did not hear me and walk right past me without saying anything. When you do need help don't come to me, cause I just mey pretend I didn't hear you and walk away......

lucky1ns

I love "I'm an assistant not a slave".

How about "You hired me, you didnt buy me".

Sarahbara76

dear annoying customer, stop yelling at me, it's not my fault your a moron and can't figure out on your own not to download everything that pops up on your screen.
furthermore it is not my fault we fixed your computer and month ago and it's boogerd up again with slop you have gathered on your haphazard random searches for toe socks or cheese cake recipes.
also it would be nice if you knew the name of the part your were looking for not just "the thing that connects to my usb floppy drive." and when I ask if the other side is mini usb please don't yell "i don't know you should know!!" ..yeah sure..whatever dude

InfamousQ

dear person that used to sit behind me.

please take a bath. one of these days i'm liable to trip you, tackle you, and dump hot soapy water all over your filthy head.

sincerely -

~ disgusted.

When I was in basic training we had to do this to one of our soldiers......Drill Sergeant gave us no choice...he did not believe in bathing....

brittanyjeanxo

Dear Annoying Ex-Coworker:

I do not now, nor will I ever care about what your son did this weekend, an illness your son had as a baby, blah blah blah. I hated it when you tried to relate ANYTHING I said to you about your son. He is a grown man. He shouldn't be your whole world.

Sincerely,
Resigned.

P.S. You cannot be as good of an M.A. as you think you are. That's why you can't find an actual M.A. job and are stocking shelves at JCPenney.

MrsFarrow

Dear upstairs neighbor,
When I said your little rat of a dog was cute, I did not imply that you now have a license to throw a toy from one end of your apartment to another. I'm honestly unsure of how your half pound dog is able to sound like a herd of elephants running across the floor, unless your behind is running with the dog. Also, I understand that you are a big girl and you are trying to get fit. I get it. But please also understand that you CANNOT be RUNNING up and down the stairs to get to your car at all hours of the night. The little 90 pound girl across the hall can't, you sure as heck can't. Please stop. Now.

Also, I know you rent your second bedroom out. Or you turn tricks. One or the other, and frankly, I don't care. But I swear to christ on a cracker if one more nasty, trashy waste of space glares at my QUIET dog, I will let the air out of someone's tires. My dog is three times the size of yours and manages to NEVER whine, NEVER run marathons inside the apartment, and NEVER bark. I don't mind barking. He's a dog. I get it. But do NOT let your dog whine all day. The other day, your mutt whined so loudly, and so long, I had to double check because it sounded like MY dog was whining. Please get your animal checked at the vet because I fear there may be something wrong with him.

Sincerely,
Your irritated neighbor

ESVABelle

Dear New Associates,

Number One: You have not been here long enough to use sarcasm. You have to earn your snark.
Number Two: Nobody likes their job. Even if you like your job - you hate your job. It's retail.
Number Three: If I tell you something once, I don't expect to have to repeat myself throughout the day. This will resort in "***** mode". Even the veteran associates avoid this.
Number Four: If you cannot pronounce my name, simply ask for Footwear. I have been known to kick shins for mispronunciation.
Number Five: Stay away from me. I don't like you and I don't wanna be your friend.
Number Six: If I am obligated to be near your presence, please have the presence of mind to have good personal hygiene. If you work retail, you're around people. If you work customer service, you're around even MORE people. I shouldn't be able to die of second-hand halitosis when I'm 10ft away from you.

Sincerely,
Zone Supervisor - Footwear

dlei456

While I am trying to work you are making a ton of noise... What ever you are doing on the other side of the wall can you please stop.. It sounds like you are taking a freaking floor buffer to carpet.... Thats enough...

You can write to a person that is annoying you too

I can take the noisy ones- I just turn up my music. It's the ones who wear a ton of perfume or cologne that I cannot stand!!! Makes me so nauseated!!!!

Elixandra

Dear annoying car down the street,

You suck with all your constant revving of your engine when you start up. Your driving me and the other neighbors bat sh** crazy. Get your owner to fix you or just don't start one day before I shoot you.

ESVABelle

Dear Puppy,


If you don't learn that my shoes are NOT chew toys, I will stab you with a half-eaten stiletto. Seriously. WTF. Stop eating my shoes!