What age is appropriate for you kid to start dating?

poisongirl6485

When they're married.

i_love_vinegar

i dont have kids, but if I did...I would say 9th grade. Whatever age they may be then.

i first started dating when I was 14.

crikee15

i dont have kids, but if I did...I would say 9th grade. Whatever age they may be then.

i first started dating when I was 14.

ok totally off topic, but you have TAEYANG in your signature!!!!!! :drinker:

I don't have kids either, but if I ever do, I would say preferably after they finish high school, but there would definitely need to be signs of maturity and responsibility before I'd give my blessing

livnlite

I never thought I would worry about something like this, but shes so close to 17 and theres not even a remote interest in a boyfriend girlfreind relationship and Im worried. I wish she would give her self the opportunity to get to know boys. She is so harsh and finds flaws in all who are interested in her. Im afraid she will never find the perfect one.:ohwell: My family members tell me to back off because Im making things worse. My husband thinks its normal and is happy she has that attitude towards boys.

You would rather her lower her standards just to date someone?

Be proud that you raised a daughter who knows what she's after. She will find the perfect one - eventually.

So what if she doesn't find a guy right now. She's 17 and in high school. Worry about it when she's closer to 40.

"She will find the perfect one?" NEVER gonna happen.

Looking for perfection is why we have such a rediculously high divorce rate these days. Sure, you may find someone that you feel is close .. You THINK maybe they could use some work, and you might just be able to change them enough to be perfect or closer to it. Then as time goes on, you realize THIS is not the one for you because they just will not bend to your way of thinking .. and guess what .. it's splitsville. Time to move onto someone else.

THAT's the problem with a lot of so called 'relationships' these days. Instead of getting to know your potential partner, and accepting who they are and what they have to offer you .. there seems to be a idealistic approach to marriage, in that prospects are subject to easy manipulation.

I have often said, When offering a vow in marriage .. Instead of "Until death do us part" .. It should be "Until something better comes along".

This is not to say that we should 'settle' .. NOT even close. We should have and keep very high expectations .. but be realistic and weigh out the pros and cons. EVERYONE and I repeat .. EVERYONE has flaws and there are no guarantees. You have to take your chances like everyone else.

Hmm. I feel completely the opposite. The divorce rate is so high these days because it's ridiculously easy to get a divorce now, and that wasn't always the case. There was a time when a judge wouldn't grant a divorce unless you could prove adultery or physical abuse, so people actually thought about whether or not they could deal with being with their intended spouse for the rest of their lives BEFORE they said "I do." Most people don't think about it that way anymore because they know all they have to do if they change their minds is check off "irreconcilable differences" and pay a fee.

Instead of changing the vows, people should just stop getting married until they're actually ready to follow through on those vows.

As for the subject at hand, I think 16 is a good age, but age is less important than whom they are with and what they are doing. ALWAYS ask and don't let your kids leave the house until you are satisfied with their answers.

And I must say, I am a bit dismayed by the difference in attitudes about boys and girls. The reason you have to be so careful with girls is because no one seems to care who or what their sons are doing.

Yes, you have a point. Times were different back 'in the day'. Divorced women were often scrutinized and put in a catagory slighly above prostitutes .. because they were 'experienced'. Knowing what we know now, and how society has changed, we now realize just how rediculous THAT ideal was. Back in those days, women were not educated or skilled or openly encouraged or even sometimes allowed to be. Little girls were brainwashed into thinking, that when they grew up, their 'place' was 'barefoot and pregnant', and they were the caretakers of the men folk. Women, in general had few options. They didn't want to lose their children because they couldn't support them, or themselves ... so they stayed in their marriage, even if it was abusive. Somehow the thought of putting up a good front was better than sleeping in a box in an alley.

Times have changed, and it IS easier. Due to that ease of being able to move on, people (generally speaking) have become complacent about their word not to mention .. vows. I'm not sure why they even take vows .. that is so traditional and if you really have no intention of keeping them, it's soo hypocritical. What a rediculous start to a marital relationship that's founded on superficial intention.

Society and laws changed to protect battered and oppressed women, finally. But, it kinda bit us in the azz. At one time, if a women left her abusive husband, or a husband that she 'claimed' to be abusive, she was automatically awarded the primary residence, and the husband would be ordered to provide child and spousal support. A complete 180. Now the women had the upperhand...sometimes legitimately, sometimes, not so much. That opened a door for women to be the abusers of their family and the system. I'm glad to see there is some attempt at balancing that issue, now days. It's not so automatic anymore.

We live in a world now, where our options are endless. We no longer have to stay in a relationship for any reason. We don't even have to have a good foundation to get into one, nevermind get out of one. THAT's the problem. Not of a lot of effort or thought process about what they want, what they can offer, what their partner wants or has to offer. There seems to be too many other factors involved .. Like shared wages = a nice house, nice car, vacations, nicer clothes, bigazz wedding and lots of presents, alimony etc etc etc. If people would only put in as much effort to build a relationship from the ground up, as they do in buying a car .. the divorce rate wouldn't be so high.

When our youngsters start dating, there is no prep work involved. It's more about having fun. Innocent enough, I guess. But, children now days have no expectations to fulfil...other than if it feels good, do it. They start dating with no idea of what to expect or what is expected from them. So it's a free for all. Again, no balance. That's why our society is so divorce ridden. At least for the most part, the ideal of 'family' has gotten lost in the translation.

christine24t

I'm 21 and I've never been on a date. I'm sure my parents wouldn't have wanted me to start dating someone at 12 years old, but they're probably not happy now that I've never been on a date.

With that, I would say junior high is fine to hang out with boys and stuff, but serious dating should be 16-17.

ETA - I am just reading the post above, and it is funny it's above mine, since it is from a mom who wants her daughter to date. To that mom - I always had an interest in dating, even if I never told it to the world. I would also say I'm overly critical as well. I've had crushes on people, but it's never the people I like that like me back. I would just give it time and not pressure her.