What age is appropriate for you kid to start dating?

ShannonBas

I'm gonna agree with _Ben.

I'm 32 & started actually dating at 16. My parents felt I was responsible enough & had a good head on my shoulders to know the difference between right and wrong. My boyfriend at the time is now my hubby. Our daughter is only 5 right now, so she has a LONG way to go, but it will be here before we know it. Hubby jokes she won't date until she's 40, but he knows better. I just hope our daughter had a good head on her shoulders like we did.

I'm pretty sure when she starts getting old enough to start "experimenting" we will definitely ingrain it into her head what sex is about as well as protection. Neither of us are embarrassed about talking with her on that subject. We are pretty open minded & are striving for that close relationship with our kids that we can talk about ANYTHING. Me and hubby both had that kind of relationship with our parents, and I hope to do the same for my kiddos.

BecksgotBack

Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever.

Seriously, where do you live, the fifties? I'm thirty now, and there are a number of people I went to school with who have teenage children by now. They were most definitely not just holding hands and sending Valentines at 15...

Its all about the parenting at that point. Im saying with good parenting, thats as far as it gets

No offense intended but I don't think you really know what it is to raise kids in the real world. "That's as far as it gets" is very easy to say and much harder to enforce unless you are with them 24/7.

that was a lot nicer than what i was thinking...but i'm not about to ruin my perfect record around here with a nasty mod warning on a topic like this...

Kalrez

Until they are 18 though, imo, always make sure they are going to bf/gf house when PARENTS ARE HOME. Call and ask to talk to a parent. They arent home? Then you aint going! Just the same with parties. Its shocking to me at times how little parents actually check up on things like that. If your worried about your kid getting preggers or w/e, just make sure they are not the only ones home. Its not that difficult

Dude, parents being home doesn't matter. I wasn't the sneakiest bad kid around, but even I figured out how to get around that. My first boyfriend and I had sex at my house, with my parents home, with my bedroom door open. So yeah. Kids are clever.

To answer the OP's question:

I don't have any kids. That being said, I don't think I'm going to limit dating experiences to an age. If my kids want to "date" while they are in elementary or middle school, whatever. Solo, real dates are going to depend on each kid, honestly. Have they proven themselves to be trustworthy? Do they seem to follow the rules that I have laid out for them? If so, then I don't really have a problem with them dating as soon as they can drive. If the kid is reckless and a ****face, then s/he can sit at home till they graduate high school.

All of that being said, I plan to have a detailed and comprehensive sex talk early - around age 8. I know that kids start having sex earlier and earlier. If you wait until they are 13, 14, 15 it may very well be too late. So I plan to sit 'em down around per-puberty. Let 'em know what all is going to be happening with their body soon. Let 'em know about sex, how to protect one's self, how it can change relationships, etc. I'd like for my kids to not have sex until they are out of high school. Maybe that won't happen. I plan on letting them know my expectations, but I'm still going to arm them with the information they will need to stay safe.

TL;DR = Dating age depends on the individual kid

kennie2

whenever they want really. having opposite sex interaction wouldnt hurt. plus it would make teens more relaxed when proper dating and now jump at their first date and have sex with them

asyouseefit

What's that saying? "I was a great parent until I had kids." :laugh:

I know someone who says: "I had principles, now I have kids".

Amayrial

I let my daughter "date" at 15, but I had to take her/pick her up or her "date's parent had to pick her up. She wasn't allowed to go alone until she was able to drive herself.

virginiagirl93

I'm not a parent, but my parents wouldn't let me date til I was 16 and if I had a date, it had to be a double date. They would know my boyfriend, the couple we were going with, my bf's parents, they would have cell phone numbers of everyone and we would not be allowed to be by ourselves. And to be honest, I totally appreciate my parents stepping up and making sure nothing happens to me like on a date. More parents need to be like that!!!!

Iamfit4life

changed my mind


once they have their doctorates

virginiagirl93

changed my mind


once they have their doctorates

Hahah this made me literally LOL...my dad jokes around and says we can date at 30 and marry at 60 cause by then he'll be gone lol

Iamfit4life

changed my mind


once they have their doctorates

Hahah this made me literally LOL...my dad jokes around and says we can date at 30 and marry at 60 cause by then he'll be gone lol

My daughter(who is FOUR mind you) contstantly wants to know when she can get married and have her babies(she calls them her honeys). It's adorable but I HATE that is what she is striving for.
So last night she told me that she wanted to be a doctor, and I was pleased.
I want them to have real goals, so they aren't ever STUCK wondering why some things passed them by.

virginiagirl93

Iamfit4life- That's crazy! I admit, I want to get married and start a family (but then again I'm 18, so its not unusual for me to think about that) but thats not all I'm thinking about.

lc504

I don't have kids. When I do, my opinion will probably change and I'll become one of those "NO DATING TILL YOU'RE 30!" type parents. The overly protective gene instantly hits you from the moment of their birth, I'm sure! hehe.

At age 14 I felt mature enough to start going on dates, especially with the beginning of high school nearing, and if my parents had tried to stop me, I probably would have anyway Usually, no one gets into anything "serious" until they hit 16-18 anyway. At least from my personal experience, and also the same with friends.

So, whenever my future son/daughter wants to, basically. Within reason, of course. I'm not going to send out a couple of pre-teens on a date with no supervision - who would drive them anyway? :laugh:

kc0kiu

My hubby says when she is a 2nd degree black belt (she should have her first degree in about 6 months) We have talked about boys and such. At 12 she is not interested yet. Some of her friends "date", which she thinks is too much drama.

shorty458

I have no kids yet, however age is just a number after all. I don't think there is an appropriate age since a 13 year old could be more mature than a 17 year old.

I think the best age is when your kids are old enough to be able to handle a relationship. My first kiss and date happened when i was 17, two months away from my 18th birthday.

livnlite

That's a tough question to answer. Kids know a lot more about the world around them at a young age these days. They often know a lot about the technical aspects of sex, drugs and rock n roll. What they don't know yet, is how to handle it emotionally. I don't know if we EVER really know. The 1st heartbreak is ALWAYS the worst. As we age we gather information on how to deal with life's roller coaster ride, we develop emotional security. A 10 yr old or even a 13 yr old has no idea what that is.

I find today's youth are conflicted and compromised at such an early age thanks to lower and lower TV, movie and gaming ratings, and lack of parental involvement. They are in such a hurry to grow up and gain control. It seems even as young as elementary school kids are wearing 'sexy' clothes. Yes .. make up, hair doos, high heels .. at 8 or 9 is just not MY idea of age appropriate. We seem to be developing into a 'sex is power' crazed society...and it's manifesting in our young.

What's wrong with encouraging kids to be kids. If a little girl has a little boy that she likes .. why do they even have to 'alone date' so to speak? Why can't they just hang out with their group of friends and consider THAT a date .. a 'group' date?

Knowing what these kids know about all the ways to get into trouble ... Remember, safety in numbers.

ursy87

:smooched: My oldest is 18, he started 'dating' when he was 16, my middle boy is almost 13 but he went to the cinema with a girl he was 'seeing' when he was 12, but in a larger group. My 8 year old, well he has his pick of the girls apparantly!:laugh:

That seems to be the way nowadays, when I was younger we never really hung about as mixed groups, but its more of a done thing now, larger groups of friends all go out together, some are paired up, others just friends.

Molly_Louise

I think it depends on the child. When they are mature enough for a start, and understand the concepts of dating and relationships.

MSDRIZZ

As a 20 year old, really dating in my opinion, as a guy, shouldnt happen until 16, when you can drive yourself places. Anything before is just childish crushes, saying you are boyfriend and girlfriend, when you have only maybe held hands, never talk to eachother, whatever. Everything before, getting drove by your parents, etc is not only akward for the kids, but really akward for the parents too.

Note: This is coming from a serious place, not the whole irritating and annoying, my daughter is never gonna date because she is not allowed to have a life, or live in any fashion like a normal human being. I feel as though as soon as this reply posts there will be 5 people who said exactly that, but Im just saying, these people are being simply rediculous, and are not working to actually help the poster, they just think that joking about overparenting is cute.

Thank you voice of reason! I always think when fathers say this that its creepy and sexist.

FelizMi

Actually going out on a date, I would say 9th grade (that's when our kids start high school) if it's a group thing, and 11th grade if it's just the two of them. But my son, who is now 7, has been saying every year since he started kindergarten that he has a "girlfriend", smh, so you can't really control them liking a friend they go to school with or whatever.

catherine4211

I'd say 14 to 15 in a group. 16 to 17 alone. I have a 16 year old daughter and that's what I (and her dad) let her do.......no trouble yet and she actually hasn't been on an alone date yet. My son is 13 and could care less about girls.