Flirting

Options
1235»

Replies

  • SlimSadieG
    SlimSadieG Posts: 323 Member
    Options
    When my partner and I first got together, I would see red whenever whenever another girl so much as came near him or spoke to him.

    I HATED him talking to girls. And I even resented the fact that there were girls in his classes at uni! HOW DARE THEY!

    The problem with my boyfriend is that he is so genuinely nice that everybody just falls for him! And he can never be rude, so doesn't even realise that his normal friendly chit-chat can come across as flirting to that girl who thinks she's in with a chance! When in all honesty, I don't think my boyfriend even knows HOW to flirt!

    I realised that this jealousy was having an impact on our relationship, and as time went on, I managed to get shot of that sickening feeling.

    5 years on, we have the best time joking about members of the opposite sex and discussing who we think is a "fitty" and our relationship is so much healthier for that!

    I'm happy for him to spend time in the company of other girls as (without sounding big headed!) he makes it quite clear that he only has eyes for me!

    He's a good egg.
  • kellybelly113
    kellybelly113 Posts: 60 Member
    Options
    This is only my 2 cents so take it for what it's worth, everyone's got a lesson they learned.

    I feel totally comfortable with my guy "looking", but not oogling other women. At a point (different for everyone) it becomes disrepectful to me. We've talked about it and understand that it's only natural to recognize beauty in others. If you are totally comfortable, you might need to get to the root of the issue. Maybe you feel problems in other parts of your relationship that haven't really come up yet. I find that when I feel self conscious or highly sensitive to what others are doing, most of the time it's not really THAT issue. Maybe I'm PMSing, or had a bad day at work, maybe we've been disconnecting in other ways. etc.......try to pull yourself away from it emotionally and look at the WHOLE picture, not just the fact that he's "looking" at women online. Hope it helps.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    Options
    My only opinion is do not do to your loved one what you would not like to be done to you.
    You think flirting is ok for you to do right? mmmmm But what if one day flirting is not enough
    for you and you take a bigger step? I'd say stop the flirting and make him realize his flirting is
    not okay either. Just my opinion............. Im sure you'll both be happier :)

    I don't recall ever discussing my flirting or lack thereof. I just said that I think flirting is natural and I'm sure everyone does it to some extent. That doesn't mean I'm a flirt. It would be pretty hypocritical of me to complain about his flirting if I were also guilty of the same...wouldn't it? Well I'm not a hypocrite, so there you have it...
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    Options

    To the OP -- does your BF tell you about the comments he leaves or the conversations he has with other women? The second your BF starts hiding this information from you it becomes inappropriate. Take care :flowerforyou:

    Some times no. Other times he hides it...another reason why it makes me so nervous. I've always been about respecting privacy, and then one day he took advantage of my trust. Now it's much more difficult to trust and respect his privacy too. I struggle intensely with this. The thing that is tough, is that it's only been words and flirty inappropriateness up to this point. I don't feel that is a relationship deal breaker, but it has damaged my trust, and I'm having a difficult time repairing it.

    This just complicates matters.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Options
    I think I've said this before....flirting is no fun if no one is getting laid. :wink:
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    Options
    It's normal. It's natural...and I'm sure everyone does it.

    So why does it make you feel like absolute dirt when your partner does it? Or is that just me.

    When I see my partner ogling facebook photos of other women, or making complimentary posts about their photos...it makes me want to curl up into a ball and die.

    This can't be healthy, normal behavior. What can I do to overcome it?

    If you do it WHY would it bother you if he does it? Unless you are doing more than flirting.

    There's a difference between flirting and wanting to take it to the next level. I am a big time flirt..I flirt with woman every day but it doesnt mean I wanna screw them or get "nasty' with them. My girl would have the same liberties as me as long as a line wasn't crossed.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    Options
    If you do it WHY would it bother you if he does it? Unless you are doing more than flirting.

    There's a difference between flirting and wanting to take it to the next level. I am a big time flirt..I flirt with woman every day but it doesnt mean I wanna screw them or get "nasty' with them. My girl would have the same liberties as me as long as a line wasn't crossed.

    Clearly I am bothered because the extent of the flirting he engages in goes well beyond what I feel is appropriate. If I don't feel it's appropriate, I'm OBVIOUSLY not doing it. It'd be nice if you'd read the entire thread before being presumptuous.

Categories