Free Therapy: Another Open Letter!

GTOgirl1969

I thought the responses were frickin' hilarious the last time we did this so I figured I'd start another one.
I have a couple of letters:

To my car:

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this. It seems as if you have had a target painted on you lately, and people can't keep from hitting you. I'm going to get you all fixed up and shiny, and you'll be suckin' gas and haulin' *kitten* again in no time.

Love,
Your Driver (me)


To my stepson:

I'm both sad and happy to see you go. We got along fine, but when you started doing drugs, being disrespectful and getting in trouble with the law, I just couldn't deal with you anymore. Your dad and your sisters love you, and so do I, but you need to get your life together. I hope you are happy and that you can get your stuff straight and make something of your life.

Love,

Amanda



Geez I feel better!

GTOgirl1969

I thought the responses were frickin' hilarious the last time we did this so I figured I'd start another one.
I have a couple of letters:

To my car:

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this. It seems as if you have had a target painted on you lately, and people can't keep from hitting you. I'm going to get you all fixed up and shiny, and you'll be suckin' gas and haulin' *kitten* again in no time.

Love,
Your Driver (me)


To my stepson:

I'm both sad and happy to see you go. We got along fine, but when you started doing drugs, being disrespectful and getting in trouble with the law, I just couldn't deal with you anymore. Your dad and your sisters love you, and so do I, but you need to get your life together. I hope you are happy and that you can get your stuff straight and make something of your life.

Love,

Amanda



Geez I feel better!

nickybr38

Dear Roommate,

When you picked on me yesterday accusing me of making excuses to not work out after I tripped on the treadmill and stopped working out to nurse my hurt leg I was pretty upset. Today when you gave up on our workout halfway through because you 'felt tired'... I felt SO GOOD. I'm sorry I wasn't the bigger person and I made a comment about 'excuses, excuses' but maybe you'll realize how I felt yesterday while nursing a hurt leg when you made fun of me for cutting the workout short.

Love from Me.
PS: You're still my BFF but seriously stop being a mean cow.

Dear Mom,

Seriously, throwing out my 'skinny' clothes because I'd never fit them again was not cool. 6.5 lbs lost so far ma and I'm still going strong. :happy: You can't stop me, and when it's time for me to buy new 'skinny' clothes you're footing some of the bill.

Love from your daughter.
PS: Next time I offer to help you with your weight loss journey please don't laugh at me and scoff at my methods. I'm just trying to help you.


I've been DYING to get some free therapy!!! Haha. I like this thread already

justjenny89

Dear FELLOW Music Majors,

Quit making fun of me just because I decided to pursue a BA instead of a BM in vocal performance. That doesn't make me any "less of a music major" than you are, and it doesn't give you license to declare my studies less important than yours are. I'm happy with the degree I've chosen, and I'm glad it allows me to double as a Family & Consumer Sciences Education major. I know I'm a good musician, and you know I'm a good musician, so be nice and allow me to have a life outside of and along with music.

Musically (but not maniacally) Yours,
The Girl Who Got An A In Every Theory Class


Dear Mom & Dad,

I love you. BUT. You're smothering me. When I come home to visit, I'd like it to be just that: a visit. I don't want to have to carry ALL the reponsibilities I used to. That's selfish, I know, but I'd like for my breaks to be actual breaks. I love you, and I'll cook for you and clean for you gladly, but I don't want to be EXPECTED to do it. That's all. Keep working hard, and try not to get too upset when I want to take a Saturday off.

Your Adoring Daughter,
Sugar Bear

P.S.- Oh, and if I want to sleep in, that's what I'm going to do.


Last one, I swear. :happy:


Dear Cold Miser,

You and your brother, Heat Miser, need to have a little talk, because this off and on hot/cold thing is getting really annoying. I know it's the southeast, but geez, 14 degrees? Ridiculous. Especially after two weeks of 60 and 70 degree weather. I just don't know what to expect from you anymore, and a little consistency would be appreciated.

Yours,
Frozen In Alabama

Power

Dear fellow engineers that I work with,

I am sorry that I was so rude to you this morning when you called me to ask me why I hadn't worked on calculations E through Z when you told me to work on A through D. I am sorry that sitting in your chair a thousand miles away from me you assumed I would automatically do E through Z because I would magically figure out that you really wanted me to do other things that were not assigned to me. I am sorry that we work on a project that is based on everyone getting their ASSIGNED calcs done on time so that the whole thing comes together in a nice pretty package, while you would rather everyone just run around working on whatever seems right to them at the time. I am sorry that your approach, while fun to watch, would never get an engineering project finished on time and under budget. I am sorry that we call this "Planning". I am sorry that you feel that I lack initiative because I didn't automatically take over the calcs... wait.... YOUR calcs... hmmmm wait a second.... I think, maybe... ok, I am sorry that you are a slacker and stopped working on your stuff and then passed it off as my failure because I didn't do your work for you....

@!!!!!!

LightenUp_Caro

Dear FELLOW Music Majors,

Quit making fun of me just because I decided to pursue a BA instead of a BM in vocal performance. That doesn't make me any "less of a music major" than you are, and it doesn't give you license to declare my studies less important than yours are. I'm happy with the degree I've chosen, and I'm glad it allows me to double as a Family & Consumer Sciences Education major. I know I'm a good musician, and you know I'm a good musician, so be nice and allow me to have a life outside of and along with music.

Musically (but not maniacally) Yours,
The Girl Who Got An A In Every Theory Class


Dear Mom & Dad,

I love you. BUT. You're smothering me. When I come home to visit, I'd like it to be just that: a visit. I don't want to have to carry ALL the reponsibilities I used to. That's selfish, I know, but I'd like for my breaks to be actual breaks. I love you, and I'll cook for you and clean for you gladly, but I don't want to be EXPECTED to do it. That's all. Keep working hard, and try not to get too upset when I want to take a Saturday off.

Your Adoring Daughter,
Sugar Bear

P.S.- Oh, and if I want to sleep in, that's what I'm going to do.


Last one, I swear. :happy:


Dear Cold Miser,

You and your brother, Heat Miser, need to have a little talk, because this off and on hot/cold thing is getting really annoying. I know it's the southeast, but geez, 14 degrees? Ridiculous. Especially after two weeks of 60 and 70 degree weather. I just don't know what to expect from you anymore, and a little consistency would be appreciated.

Yours,
Frozen In Alabama

I read this and realized that I didn't have to write my own!! Thanks-
I totally understand about the B.A./B.M. thing- I just switched.
Good luck- and thanks for writing my therapy for me!

dragonfly81

Dear Fat,

This is the 15th letter I've written. Please go away. Stop following me. It's not fun anymore, and you kinda scare me. I'm going to break bad on your *kitten* now.

Signed,
Me :laugh:

age1389

Dear Roommate,

When you picked on me yesterday accusing me of making excuses to not work out after I tripped on the treadmill and stopped working out to nurse my hurt leg I was pretty upset. Today when you gave up on our workout halfway through because you 'felt tired'... I felt SO GOOD. I'm sorry I wasn't the bigger person and I made a comment about 'excuses, excuses' but maybe you'll realize how I felt yesterday while nursing a hurt leg when you made fun of me for cutting the workout short.

Love from Me.
PS: You're still my BFF but seriously stop being a mean cow.

Dear Mom,

Seriously, throwing out my 'skinny' clothes because I'd never fit them again was not cool. 6.5 lbs lost so far ma and I'm still going strong. :happy: You can't stop me, and when it's time for me to buy new 'skinny' clothes you're footing some of the bill.

Love from your daughter.
PS: Next time I offer to help you with your weight loss journey please don't laugh at me and scoff at my methods. I'm just trying to help you.


I've been DYING to get some free therapy!!! Haha. I like this thread already

Too funny:laugh: I love the part when you say "mean cow"
Thanks for the laugh:drinker:



-Adrienne

nickybr38

Dear Fat,

This is the 15th letter I've written. Please go away. Stop following me. It's not fun anymore, and you kinda scare me. I'm going to break bad on your *kitten* now.

Signed,
Me :laugh:

It's none of my business and I really don't know much about the situation but I would suggest a restraining order! This fat person sounds pretty dangerous!

nickybr38

Too funny:laugh: I love the part when you say "mean cow"
Thanks for the laugh:drinker:



-Adrienne

Mean cow! It's my favorite insult. Can you tell I'm a farm girl at heart? :laugh:

Marla64

Did somebody say cow???



How 'bout a cow who does a mean pole dance?

age1389

Did somebody say cow???



How 'bout a cow who does a mean pole dance?

That's just disturbing:noway: :laugh:

Girlmom282109

Dear boss lady

When you tell your employees that you have a friend in emotional need in gainsville make sure there aren't any pictures of you taken at the gators game! Also make sure your other friends who are going with you keep thier mouths closed!

Your fondest employee!:sick: :noway:

LightenUp_Caro

Dear boss lady

When you tell your employees that you have a friend in emotional need in gainsville make sure there aren't any pictures of you taken at the gators game! Also make sure your other friends who are going with you keep thier mouths closed!

Your fondest employee!:sick: :noway:

HAHAHA Chomp Chomp!

Renae_Nae

Dear Body,
This is your last chance tonight to give it all you got in the workout. I'm going to weigh-in tomorrow and I'm hoping you are going to keep my ticker either the same or move it in the right direction. I have been treating you very well this week and I hope you return the favor.

Thanks,
The person trapped inside!

Dear House,
If it's not one thing it's another. I have had the maintance guy out here today already and really do not want to make another phone call within the next 24 hours. PLEASE give me a week of being good and I promise you'll get cleaned since I won't be spending all my time trying to get things fixed.

Thanks,
The person trapped inside!

mommared53

Dear Fat,

This is the 15th letter I've written. Please go away. Stop following me. It's not fun anymore, and you kinda scare me. I'm going to break bad on your *kitten* now.

Signed,
Me :laugh:

It's none of my business and I really don't know much about the situation but I would suggest a restraining order! This fat person sounds pretty dangerous!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

mommared53

Did somebody say cow???



How 'bout a cow who does a mean pole dance?

Oh now that's just wrong! :laugh:

AmyNVegas

Dear students who cheated on my exam yesterday,
I really would like to kick your tails for making me spend 8 hours of my time trying to contact your parents, figuring out who cheated off of whom, and almost binge eating due to the stress you caused me. Not to mention you turned my home into grand central with all the phone calls coming and going last night. I particularly want to kick you in the tail for believing I was such a big idiot that I would not realize you cheated! Next time I will not be so generous because turning you over to the Deans would have been a lot easier than dealing with you and your parents and all the crap I went through so you wouldn't be suspended. I couldn't believe K. ,that you thought I could be bribed with an orange juice from McDonald's I mean OMG give me a break! Then when you continued to lie when you retook the exam and failed royally but still wouldn't own up to the fact that you copied off of M., I would really like to smack you a good one.

Sincerely your P.O.'d Spanish Teacher

Wow your're right I do feel better!

Amy


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Calorie Counter

may_marie

dear big corporations..

please stop making me feel like your having a laugh, when you say you'll call back, do so. when you take an appointement, be there. when you say something, dont say the opposite 10 minutes later. when i say something is wrong on my bill because its 5 times higher then normal .. dont belittle me. when you say your can make it until next week because the part is backorder, make sure your engineer knows about it coz he says he's had the part the whole time... if you make a mistake, i would rather you admit it then try to cover up !!!!!!!! when 90% of the boilers in a 200 appartement building are failing, dont try to blame the consumer,,,, can not imagine how i can break a boiler... i mean, i think i know how to turn a tap on and off !! hooo dont call at 4:55 to tell know that the engineer wont be able to make it today like promised,,,,,,,,,,i know,, i figured that out

your truly...
peaved of client

Jolie30

Dear Loving Husband (who said you were going to low carb with me):

When you go hunting, leave all the chips, Little Debbie cakes (4 different boxes) and Dr. Peppers (my addiction, from which I am 3.5 weeks sober) at the camp. Do NOT bring them home and stuff them in my cabinets and fridge. Thank you. Incidentally, two packs of swiss rolls and a fudge round and a Dr. Pepper right after your big ole supper of rice and gravy and corn IS NOT LO CARB!!! Now, go check YOUR blood sugar!

Your Loving Wife,

Jolie

Marla64

LOL

Girlmom282109

Dear 2 year old dalring daughter,

When you do something wrong and have to be put in time out don't turn into the devil and point your finger at me and tell me "you're not the boss of me!!" and when I ask you who is the boss you say "MIMI!!" How can I not giggle at that. I am supposed to be mad at you. You are supposed to be in time out!!!

Oh yeah, when I say something to you could you please answer me in english and not spanish or your new language you are learning Japanese.

Your loving Mamma!

WillPillageYourVillageForFood

Dear Insurance Company,

Thank you for allowing my granddaughter's doctor to be one of your preferred providers but not allowing the hospital he has privileges at to be an in-network facility. Thanks too for making my daughter have to take her baby from the hospital she was admitted to and drive in 25 degree weather to the hospital that is in-network. I'm sure you would enjoy driving to another hospital with a baby that has a double ear infection, RSV, and dehydration. Oh, and did I mention that the baby also had an IV in her too.

Sincerely,
One Pissed Off Nana

keiko

Dear Insurance Company,

Thank you for allowing my granddaughter's doctor to be one of your preferred providers but not allowing the hospital he has privileges at to be an in-network facility. Thanks too for making my daughter have to take her baby from the hospital she was admitted to and drive in 25 degree weather to the hospital that is in-network. I'm sure you would enjoy driving to another hospital with a baby that has a double ear infection, RSV, and dehydration. Oh, and did I mention that the baby also had an IV in her too.

Sincerely,
One Pissed Off Nana

I am so tired of insurance companies! This is seriously wrong. That child should have been treated not transported. I am now pissed off too!

alaskagal

OMGoodness!

This is just to great.

I won't even start mine for fear of never ending. (It's been the week from h - e - double toothpicks)

But I feel a lot better reading everyone else's letters, so thanks for the therapy.

:glasses:

justjenny89

Dear FELLOW Music Majors,

Quit making fun of me just because I decided to pursue a BA instead of a BM in vocal performance. That doesn't make me any "less of a music major" than you are, and it doesn't give you license to declare my studies less important than yours are. I'm happy with the degree I've chosen, and I'm glad it allows me to double as a Family & Consumer Sciences Education major. I know I'm a good musician, and you know I'm a good musician, so be nice and allow me to have a life outside of and along with music.

Musically (but not maniacally) Yours,
The Girl Who Got An A In Every Theory Class


Dear Mom & Dad,

I love you. BUT. You're smothering me. When I come home to visit, I'd like it to be just that: a visit. I don't want to have to carry ALL the reponsibilities I used to. That's selfish, I know, but I'd like for my breaks to be actual breaks. I love you, and I'll cook for you and clean for you gladly, but I don't want to be EXPECTED to do it. That's all. Keep working hard, and try not to get too upset when I want to take a Saturday off.

Your Adoring Daughter,
Sugar Bear

P.S.- Oh, and if I want to sleep in, that's what I'm going to do.


Last one, I swear. :happy:


Dear Cold Miser,

You and your brother, Heat Miser, need to have a little talk, because this off and on hot/cold thing is getting really annoying. I know it's the southeast, but geez, 14 degrees? Ridiculous. Especially after two weeks of 60 and 70 degree weather. I just don't know what to expect from you anymore, and a little consistency would be appreciated.

Yours,
Frozen In Alabama

I read this and realized that I didn't have to write my own!! Thanks-
I totally understand about the B.A./B.M. thing- I just switched.
Good luck- and thanks for writing my therapy for me!

No problem.

songbyrdsweet

Dear Fellow Assistant Manager,

I'd almost feel sorry for you now that you're losing your job, but it's your own fault for being a complete tool. I thought everyone knew it was just common sense not to greet strange women with a light tap on the bum. :noway:

Now I have to pick up your extra hours. I hope your underwear turns carnivorous.

Sincerely,

The only A.M. capable of higher thought


Dear Zooquatic Pet Center Workers,

You sold me a sick baby rat. He can't stop sneezing. I know it's because you keep your tiny, adorable furry creatures in deplorable conditions. Now I have to pay for medication for him and the other two rats he got sick even though I quarantined. I hope that you someday end up in a cramped, poorly-ventilated box filled with your own urine. :mad: And I hope you sneeze 20 times every day for the rest of your lives. You should be ashamed.

Sincerely,
A very worried rat momma :frown:

oregonlady

dear alcohol,

it's been a week now since we have seen each other.
i miss you. i miss you very badly and part of me really wants you back in my life so i can be with you every night like we used to be.:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:
but, i think i'm a better person w/out you. you seem to take over any situation we are in together and i'm not happy w/ that. we tried to just see each other a little bit over time, but that did not work.
i love you too much. i see in my personality that i want to have you w/ me a lot or not at all.
~no in between.

we need to stay apart

cmriverside

Dear Evil Dictator, er Homeowners Association Dictator,

It is not nice when you lie. It is also best if you get things fixed before the cars fall through the parking lot, and the trees fall on the buildings, and the river consumes the land because you refuse to spend any money because you say that there are people who can't afford it. And when those same people are floating down the river in their upside-down cars hanging on for dear life to the tree limbs that are attached to nothing because the river consumed them, then it would be good if you would pay their medical bills and pay for their cars, and the new buildings and new clothes and TVs and furniture and computers because while they are being washed away, the frikkin roof is falling in because you won't get the gutters cleaned for the last seven years and now the roof is all rotted out from two feet of leaves on the roof. And those "old" people with no money? Who can't afford to pay for their homeowners dues? Could you catch their orthopedists bills, too, because the sidewalks are so warped from tree roots that they will be falling and needing surgery. Lots of surgery. And you better hire a REALLY good lawyer, because ......well. Because I think you should.

Signed, Someone who lives near you.

magichatter06

Dear Insurance Company,
I'm so thrilled to see that you are working so "hard" to get your customers their medical and prescription cards in a timely manner. Not only do we have to pay out of pocket for pricey prescriptions but some of us cannot go see our doctors when we need to because we do not have cards. I'm pretty sure that there aren't that many records to enter into the computer and if your people do not know how to type without pecking at the computer, I will more than willingly come input them for you.


Signed,
One pissed off/stressed out employee.


Short letter to Home Office,

Thanks for picking a sh**** @$$ insurance.:devil: :explode:


The End.

Mireille

Dear GTO's husband,

Leave GTO alone and let her move on with her life. You've already caused too much heartache and pain and you no longer deserve to see her pretty face in the morning.


From:
None of your darn business