MEN!!!!!!

foremant86

It does seem impossible to find good men these days!

Seems a lot of them think it's the womans duty to do everything.

My father wasn't perfect but the man worked everyday then came home cooked us a hot dinner and helped clean up the house. Even when my mom wasn't working he would still do these things and he still does to this day.

Bankman1989

I RAISED my two oldest sons mostly on my own. I dropped them off and picked them up from school. I got up at 4:30am and slept in the back of my SUV while my son went to swim practice. I drove each and every one of my kids (and step kids) to school before going to work.

So yes there are MEN REAL MEN out there. Problem is some women go for the losers because they look better on the the outside than they actually are on the inside!

kennethmgreen

Love the responses:

BTW I do work and "bring home the bacon" - He works also
He just doesnt understand that when I finish work, I go to my second job taking care of 5 kids , 2 dogs and him.

His idea of doing laundry is waher to dryer to basket to wait for me to put it away........ making dinner, half of it ends up on the stove cooked on and left until I clean it up.....

He uses the excuse .... It's my day off......OH BOY....really ...when is my day off then?

I am going against my exclamation points in a thread title rule here..... Talk to him about it. More. Keep talking about it until you get a working solution.

I don't like to fold laundry. But I don't mind doing laundry. My wife is great a folding laundry and doesn't mind doing it. So that's how we share the work. I do the laundry, she folds it. We generally go by the "you cook, I clean" rule, so the person that cooks doesn't have to also clean up. I carpool M/W/F mornings, she carpools some afternoons (other family does other shifts). For whatever reason, wife hates cleaning the coffee maker. I don't mind it. She doesn't like taking out the trash. Doesn't bother me.

See a pattern? Talk to him. Approach it as working together on a solution, not "you aren't doing this!" and see if that helps. Use logic: this stuff has to get done, we both live here, we should split what needs to be done. There are probably things that he wouldn't mind doing. In fact, make up a list of all the chores that need to be done around the house, including driving, etc. Everything that requires time and effort. Show him the list, ask that you share it. Invite him to pick items off the list that he is willing to do. Have him commit to them.

solpwr

I don't like to clean. I have a cleaning lady.

legmotor

Being a single guy, if I didn't clean and cook it wouldn't get done. I don't have any littles to run after but if I did I'd be sharing those duties too. A partnership is a partnership, two people with children should be sharing duties anyway.

Umpire57

Drive the kids? Heck that is why I let them get their licences the first chance they could...Now the kids drive me around :-)

baisleac

My husband... except the driving part... we have one car and I use it to get to work. He does have a bike trailer to haul the kiddo around in though.

ArroganceInStep

For all those asking if I communicate...crazy idea.....Please....I talk more than an autioneer....I communicate.....he doesnt! = me frustrated!! needing to vent.....

As I said, that's a relationship issue more than a cleaning issue then. Sorry you're having a rough go of it.

0PhAtDaDdY

Are there any men in this world that clean a house, make dinner and drive kids around?

Let's see clean a house: I pressure wash it twice a year along with the fence. I mow grass, trim sidewalks, edge, work in flower gardens, and keep the garage clean....

Make Dinner: We all usually eat out at dinner, we know what restaurant has what special on certain nights.

Drive Kids: I take my 7yo to school every morning along with two grand daughters 8yo and 6yo...

My wife: She is a stay at home mom and does all clothes and most inside works and picks same kids up from school..

So yes guys do some work, LOL!!!!

Slimithy

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Is one. We both work so we both do just about everything else too. Aftr baby 3 she'll be home and I might not be doing as much around the house.

kippit

Yes. I do all of the above. I had full custody of my kids from the time they were 3 and 1....so I was the only one who did that stuff!

chocolatefairey

There are men who want a clean house, but I have yet to find one who is prepared to actually contribute to making that happen.

So so true!

HOSED49

I do two loads of laundry per day..
house is organized and clean...vaccuum the steps and all..dust..clean toilets..
cook...some...but not alot..she likes her chicken nuggets and chips lol, strong cheese cereal..pop tarts etc..
Soccer alomst every night, gymnastics on monday...soccer travel team on weekends...

CorrieV1976

For all those asking if I communicate...crazy idea.....Please....I talk more than an autioneer....I communicate.....he doesnt! = me frustrated!! needing to vent.....

As I said, that's a relationship issue more than a cleaning issue then. Sorry you're having a rough go of it.

Not really....everything else about our relationship is fantastic......yes we have this one small issue that seems to get to me every now and then, but basically I just posted this because I was interested in what other people would say and if any others have the same issue oh and the fact that I have been at work since 4 am and needed something to keep me awake.....Thanks for your responses.

boomboom011

Are there any men in this world that clean a house, make dinner and drive kids around?

yes! my man does. I started changing the way i treated him and talked to him about these things. I talked to him sincerely and explained to him how overwhelmed i was and didnt yell at him about it. I talked to him respectfully and its amazing what happened. He helped and still continues to help.

Ive come to the realization that all i had to do was ask. The problem with that is I asked but he didnt do it when i wanted him to. I had to learn that regardless, its still got done.

Plus, I just started delegating to him tasks i need him to do. He was totally cool with it. I think he didnt really know what he needed to do cause i handled it all and then resented him for it.

Be specific and respectful. Men need to feel respected. Period.

Dbow0207

Go to the Gym as soon as you get off work and when you dont come home he will have to figure it out on his own. He'll get the picture, these things are only happening because you let him get away with doing nothing. Put your foot down let him know you mean business! A relationship is 50/50 not 60/40 or 80/20! TELL him what he needs to do and he needs to grow up, a real man doesnt have to have somebody tell him what his responsibilities are!

iplayoutside19

There are still guys that don't do this stuff?

N_BEAST_MODE_24_7

Of course, it's not just 1 parents responsibility to take care of the kids and to do house work/cook. I tell my wife that she don’t have to cook all the time, I know how to cook, and cook better than her. I'm able to do the same things she can do, plus we take pressure off each other when we share the load.....

slyder432

On a daily basis!!!

liftingbro

Are there any men in this world that clean a house, make dinner and drive kids around?

yes! my man does. I started changing the way i treated him and talked to him about these things. I talked to him sincerely and explained to him how overwhelmed i was and didnt yell at him about it. I talked to him respectfully and its amazing what happened. He helped and still continues to help.

Ive come to the realization that all i had to do was ask. The problem with that is I asked but he didnt do it when i wanted him to. I had to learn that regardless, its still got done.

Plus, I just started delegating to him tasks i need him to do. He was totally cool with it. I think he didnt really know what he needed to do cause i handled it all and then resented him for it.

Be specific and respectful. Men need to feel respected. Period.

That works. You try to treat me like your child or belittle me about something then I've done, you may as well stop talking because it isn't going to happen.

You know what works? "Honey, you know what would really make me happy?" Delivered with a nice smile.

Most guys like nothing more than being able to fix a problem or to be helpful. So, if there is even a small amount of "you'll be my hero" in how you deliver it, you're likely to get a much better response.

Or at least that works for me.

catwrangler

Are there any men in this world that clean a house, make dinner and drive kids around?

change "kids" to pets and foster pets and that's my Mom! Yes, I live with my Mom :blushing:

MFPAddict

I do all of the dishes and laundry, and cook some of the easier meals.

I also do ALL of the driving in my family!

boomboom011

Are there any men in this world that clean a house, make dinner and drive kids around?

yes! my man does. I started changing the way i treated him and talked to him about these things. I talked to him sincerely and explained to him how overwhelmed i was and didnt yell at him about it. I talked to him respectfully and its amazing what happened. He helped and still continues to help.

Ive come to the realization that all i had to do was ask. The problem with that is I asked but he didnt do it when i wanted him to. I had to learn that regardless, its still got done.

Plus, I just started delegating to him tasks i need him to do. He was totally cool with it. I think he didnt really know what he needed to do cause i handled it all and then resented him for it.

Be specific and respectful. Men need to feel respected. Period.

That works. You try to treat me like your child or belittle me about something then I've done, you may as well stop talking because it isn't going to happen.

You know what works? "Honey, you know what would really make me happy?" Delivered with a nice smile.

Most guys like nothing more than being able to fix a problem or to be helpful. So, if there is even a small amount of "you'll be my hero" in how you deliver it, you're likely to get a much better response.

Or at least that works for me.

exactly.
i remember i was so frustrated once cause i was doing everything. Even his laundry and i called my aunt and uncle who have been married forever and i said help me! i dont know what to do. I do everything. I cook, clean, grocery shop, take care of the baby, do his laundry and my aunt said "then stop!". So I stopped doing his laundry. He didnt want me doing it anyway. I can no longer resent him for it.

I would make snide comments about him not doing anything. Be little him sometimes about it. It doesnt work, I stopped and talked to him. Treat others as you want to be treated. Goes a long way.

dancefloordevil

Serve me up one, Pleazy!

twinsanity

Are there any men in this world that clean a house, make dinner and drive kids around?

Why would I do that when I've got a wife to do that for me? :drinker: :bigsmile: :laugh:

^^ One of the many reasons I'm divorced! lol

TourThePast

His idea of doing laundry is waher to dryer to basket to wait for me to put it away........ making dinner, half of it ends up on the stove cooked on and left until I clean it up.....

He uses the excuse .... It's my day off......OH BOY....really ...when is my day off then?

Don't tell us, tell him.

And how about putting your own laundry away and simply leaving his? Even a child can put their own clothes away, he's only sitting on his *kitten* and doing nothing because you're doing everything for him. Stop being an enabler.

Assuming you've already asked nicely and tried to discuss this like adults, you'll simply have to get tough with him. Hand him some oven cleaner and say "This is your job tonight and every Tuesday night because you cover the stove in burned on crap. You are the one making the mess, I wipe my own spills up. If you don't want to clean the cooker every Tuesday, start wiping your spills up too"

I once refused point blank to set foot into the kitchen again until he had cleaned up a spectacular mess he'd made. He soon got down to it, though to be fair he was already pretty ashamed of what he'd done to our nice clean kitchen (including getting stuff on the CEILING!!) and we laughed about it afterwards.

liftingbro

Are there any men in this world that clean a house, make dinner and drive kids around?

yes! my man does. I started changing the way i treated him and talked to him about these things. I talked to him sincerely and explained to him how overwhelmed i was and didnt yell at him about it. I talked to him respectfully and its amazing what happened. He helped and still continues to help.

Ive come to the realization that all i had to do was ask. The problem with that is I asked but he didnt do it when i wanted him to. I had to learn that regardless, its still got done.

Plus, I just started delegating to him tasks i need him to do. He was totally cool with it. I think he didnt really know what he needed to do cause i handled it all and then resented him for it.

Be specific and respectful. Men need to feel respected. Period.

That works. You try to treat me like your child or belittle me about something then I've done, you may as well stop talking because it isn't going to happen.

You know what works? "Honey, you know what would really make me happy?" Delivered with a nice smile.

Most guys like nothing more than being able to fix a problem or to be helpful. So, if there is even a small amount of "you'll be my hero" in how you deliver it, you're likely to get a much better response.

Or at least that works for me.

exactly.
i remember i was so frustrated once cause i was doing everything. Even his laundry and i called my aunt and uncle who have been married forever and i said help me! i dont know what to do. I do everything. I cook, clean, grocery shop, take care of the baby, do his laundry and my aunt said "then stop!". So I stopped doing his laundry. He didnt want me doing it anyway. I can no longer resent him for it.

I would make snide comments about him not doing anything. Be little him sometimes about it. It doesnt work, I stopped and talked to him. Treat others as you want to be treated. Goes a long way.

Yeah, as soon as the Nagzilla getst going, my ears strangely quit working.

beckylou66

I don't like to clean. I have a cleaning lady.

This is an idea as well..... If you could find someone to come in and do the deep stuff a couple of times a month, this would take a tremendous weight off of you. I realize it costs, but well worth it if you can afford it. If not, is there a place to cut back a little? Just to take a little of the responsibilities. Make sure she comes on Fridays, it's always wonderful to go into the weekend with a clean house and you don't feel obligated to stay home on Sat to CLEAN.

Also, what about carpool, any other families goin the same direction you are each day? Most ppl are willing to help and be helped. I am not a person who delegates very well. I do everything myself, but these are ideas (maybe I could do a few of them)

myofibril

There are still guys that don't do this stuff?

I don't. None of the things mentioned. Don't get me wrong though. I don't believe it is a woman's "role" to do them or other such nonsense.

I agree a relationship requires equal commitment from both parties but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to do some or an equal amount of domestic chores to fulfil that or to be happy.

Legalchica

Not many thats why you get them young and then train them I didn't...